Urging people towards the edge - in a chatroom.

12 Nov 2010

Do we share any responsibility?

A Japanese man has committed suicide live on the internet after being egged on by users of an online chat room.

I see this group behavior far too often, in certain chat rooms and on at least one forum, I sometimes visit.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

12 Nov 2010

Quote by WellMadeMale
Do we share any responsibility?

A Japanese man has committed suicide live on the internet after being egged on by users of an online chat room.

I see this group behavior far too often, in certain chat rooms and on at least one forum, I sometimes visit.

Yes, I would say that some chat roooms/groups would share responsibility for this - some people, especially people in the mindset where they would be willing to seriously contemplate suicide, cannot differentiate between people they only know on the Internet, and their friends and family in real life. Although why anyone would egg someone on to suicide is frankly beyond me. I'm not particularly religious, I don't believe suicide is a sin - I do however, feel it's wasteful, tragic, harmful to those that love you, and it's taking the easy way out, rather than fixing your own problems.

12 Nov 2010

Sounds like Natural Selection to me. I mean WTH? What's wrong with people that they only interact with others on the internet and not face to face? It's weak and pitiful and time to go outside and see the sun. No other people aren't responsible for him killing himself because they egged him on. That's like saying that it's the children's fault that mommy and daddy got a divorce. When will people start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others?

12 Nov 2010

Quote by chefkathleen
Sounds like Natural Selection to me. I mean WTH? What's wrong with people that they only interact with others on the internet and not face to face? It's weak and pitiful and time to go outside and see the sun. No other people aren't responsible for him killing himself because they egged him on. That's like saying that it's the children's fault that mommy and daddy got a divorce. When will people start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others?

I'm not saying they caused it - I'm saying that they were party to this. It was still his decision.

12 Nov 2010

Hey Chef...I read the article...are you saying that if I announced in the forum that I had plans to kill myself, nobody here would try to talk me out of it???

I see I'm going to have to change the order of my Lush friends list again...

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12 Nov 2010

Quote by DirtyMartini
Hey Chef...I read the article...are you saying that if I announced in the forum that I had plans to kill myself, nobody here would try to talk me out of it???

I see I'm going to have to change the order of my Lush friends list again...

[sarcasm] It's the natural order of things. Only the strong should survive. [/sarcasm]

12 Nov 2010

I just had a long debate with an old friend, about online bullying, We both lost a dear friend in High school, due to Suicide, because he was being builled online. I believe that it is our responsibility that if we someone bringing others down, and terortizing someone, we should do something, anything, even if it is just reaching out to the person whom is being attacked, and let them know that they are not alone. Its wrong how cruel people are in this day and age..... I don't get how people bring others down, just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Coming from someone who experienced being bullied *never online* but in real life, it can do a damage on someone's self esteem, and the way they have faith in people. Something should be done about online abuse, and online bullying! Its like, you hear these stories about girls on myspace killing themselves because thye were being viciouslly attacked by other girls, and by guys their own age. I mean, I don't know how these people were raised, but my mom always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, than keep your fucking mouth shut! It makes no sense to me, when people do this!

I believe if we see someone do this to someone else, and don't do anything about even, if it that means, only sending someone a message, and offering to be a friend, than YES we do hold some kind of responsibility! This is why I always try to be kind to over, and try to be a friend to those who need it!

12 Nov 2010

Thats scary. A few year ago I was in a play called Chatroom where a group of kids try to get a guy to commit suicide (he didnt in the end).

I think its pretty sick. In the end it is his decision but its almost like these people get some kind of pleasure by encouraging him to do it

12 Nov 2010

I agree with that other lady. If some loser wants to cry online about how much of a loser he is? Let him go, haha. For real, are some chatroom dudes and girls gonna really talk him out of it? Noooo.

12 Nov 2010

Quote by TearsOfAnAngel
I just had a long debate with an old friend, about online bullying, We both lost a dear friend in High school, due to Suicide, because he was being builled online. I believe that it is our responsibility that if we someone bringing others down, and terortizing someone, we should do something, anything, even if it is just reaching out to the person whom is being attacked, and let them know that they are not alone. Its wrong how cruel people are in this day and age..... I don't get how people bring others down, just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Coming from someone who experienced being bullied *never online* but in real life, it can do a damage on someone's self esteem, and the way they have faith in people. Something should be done about online abuse, and online bullying! Its like, you hear these stories about girls on myspace killing themselves because thye were being viciouslly attacked by other girls, and by guys their own age. I mean, I don't know how these people were raised, but my mom always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, than keep your fucking mouth shut! It makes no sense to me, when people do this!

I believe if we see someone do this to someone else, and don't do anything about even, if it that means, only sending someone a message, and offering to be a friend, than YES we do hold some kind of responsibility! This is why I always try to be kind to over, and try to be a friend to those who need it!

But this wasn't about bullying. It was about someone saying that he was going to kill himself because of whatever reason he could come up with.

12 Nov 2010

Quote by DirtyMartini
Hey Chef...I read the article...are you saying that if I announced in the forum that I had plans to kill myself, nobody here would try to talk me out of it???

I see I'm going to have to change the order of my Lush friends list again...

Yeah there'd be one or two. Probably the ones you own money to! evil4

12 Nov 2010

Quote by shooterx
Quote by chefkathleen
Sounds like Natural Selection to me. I mean WTH? What's wrong with people that they only interact with others on the internet and not face to face? It's weak and pitiful and time to go outside and see the sun. No other people aren't responsible for him killing himself because they egged him on. That's like saying that it's the children's fault that mommy and daddy got a divorce. When will people start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others?

I'm not saying they caused it - I'm saying that they were party to this. It was still his decision.

How can they be a party to it? Or to blame for it? Do you believe everything you hear, read or see? I'm sure you don't. I sure wouldn't believe it if someone said online that they were going to kill themselves.

12 Nov 2010

Quote by CassidyCumsFirst
I agree with that other lady. If some loser wants to cry online about how much of a loser he is? Let him go, haha. For real, are some chatroom dudes and girls gonna really talk him out of it? Noooo.

Well, I agree that nobody is responsible except for the person who ultimately commits suicide. But that doesn't mean it's not cruel to push mentally sick people toward their own death.

Welcome to the forums, btw. smile

12 Nov 2010

Thanks but do you really believe when they do that? Just attention whores you ask me. Hellooo, facebook and twitter? Haha Nothing but people that cant talk to real people so they live on the internet and do things like that. Bunch of look at mes wanting attention.

12 Nov 2010

Ultimately his life is his responsibility, but it wouldn't hurt for people to show some compassion for a fellow human being.

Even if they weren't sure whether or not he was serious, did they really need to keep pushing him to find out?

Common decency seems to be becoming a thing of the past.

12 Nov 2010

Quote by Lisa
Ultimately his life is his responsibility, but it wouldn't hurt for people to show some compassion for a fellow human being.

Even if they weren't sure whether or not he was serious, did they really need to keep pushing him to find out?

Common decency seems to be becoming a thing of the past.

You are right on both accounts. I have never been in a chatroom where anything like this has happened, bullying of any kind. If it did, I would leave. Same as when I do not agree with the beliefs of the people driving the discussion. I rather leave then get into a big fight, just not worth it.

Bullying of any kind is a big problem. But online it is so much easier because the person doing it can hide behind their keyboard. The internet is a wonderfully useful and fun tool. But it can be so harmful too. Like with that poor kid from Rutgers who was outed by his "FRIENDS".

Chatrooms should be fun and light hearted!

Sorry for the rant, Ill get off my soapbox now.

13 Nov 2010

I won't be held accountable for a mentally unstable person doing something that is beyond my control.

13 Nov 2010

^ But the point is that, if you were talking to an unstable person and for instance, promoting suicide, what they do probably isn't beyond your control.

In Australia it is illegal to use the internet to promote the idea of suicide or provide practival information on how to commit suicide. But it's not the law that's going to stop this, but action by IP's, parents (if applicable) and administrators. Unfortunately we move into the censorship debate and retaining a balance between freedom of expression and public safety, because nothing like the internet has allowed people to express themselves with such freedom ever before.

13 Nov 2010

Quote by chefkathleen
Quote by shooterx
Quote by chefkathleen
Sounds like Natural Selection to me. I mean WTH? What's wrong with people that they only interact with others on the internet and not face to face? It's weak and pitiful and time to go outside and see the sun. No other people aren't responsible for him killing himself because they egged him on. That's like saying that it's the children's fault that mommy and daddy got a divorce. When will people start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others?

I'm not saying they caused it - I'm saying that they were party to this. It was still his decision.

How can they be a party to it? Or to blame for it? Do you believe everything you hear, read or see? I'm sure you don't. I sure wouldn't believe it if someone said online that they were going to kill themselves.

No, I don't - I just think that people who just stopped and thought for a moment would not egg someone on to suicide. (Whether or not they thought it was real.) It's just my point of view - no, I don't think they caused it, and no, it wasn't their 'fault'. Like I said, ultimately it was his decision. There's no real right or wrong answer to this, IMHO, and that's all it is - my opinion.

13 Nov 2010

this is just my opinion, and that is all it is
no the people in the chat room are not ultimately responsible for the death, but it seems to me that when someone starts talking about suicide online or on the phone, its a cry for help not attention, all it would take is for someone to say lets talk about this privately, let me be your shoulder .
sometimes thats all it takes, just to know that somebody somewhere cares.

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13 Nov 2010

ooops sorry hit the post twice

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13 Nov 2010

I think we should be seriously educating people on the difference between fiction and reality, because when the lines are blurred and people take it seriously that should be a signal that A: we're either going to have a lot more psychotic's on our hands or B: There is something seriously messed up with the way some people think.
XX
BB

13 Nov 2010

I don't mean to sound insensitive but - only in Japan!

There are Japanese men who have 'virtual girlfriends' and plastic replica women with whom they live and with whom they have relationships. These men give reasons such as , "She will never leave me" or "we have everything in common" There are more socially dysfunctional and emotionally immature people in Japan than in any country with similar standards of living. All quite sad.

It used to be that Japan imitated the West; now we would imitate Japan at our peril.

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13 Nov 2010

Jeez...I am glad I handled better the pressure on the other thread. Yeeepieee!!!

13 Nov 2010

There are always gonna be people that will push someone they see as weaker. I do agree that it would be better to give the person some encouragement and let them know they are not alone, but seriously. They announced their intention in a public chatroom. Would you really expect them to follow through? It is like the crowd at the bottom of the building with a jumper on the ledge, don't you always expect to hear at least one person in the crowd say, "Go ahead, JUMP". That doesn't make it right but there is a side of human nature that wants to weed out the weaker ones. That same person that yells jump would probably be freaked if that person actually jumped. It is never really expected. I watched a soldier commit suicide in a combat zone, he was to scared to continue he said, it was sudden and without warning. But the general mindset among those of us that had witnessed it was,"Why didn't he just walk out from behind cover, the other side would have been happy to kill him and he would have been a casuality of war, not a suicide".

On the subject of online bullying, and to some respect the man that let himself be talked into a suicide online. I will always side with someone that is being bullied, it is my nature, to protect someone weaker or less fortunate, and I do believe that ANY form of bullying is wrong, but honestly, there is a way to ultimately stop the online side of it. Turn off the computer. Personally, I believe the bully to be the weaker one, having to boost their own esteem at the expense of others.

We are all responsible for our own decisions and actions, we need to stop blaming others. It goes back to the idea that a song made someone commit suicide. No, the song was just an excuse, usually for those remaining, to feel better that maybe they should have seen the signs and done more to help. Just my two cents, don't spend it all in one place.

Ciao

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14 Nov 2010

Indeed,a person that threatens suicide to a group of people or to one person for that matter could actually be a cry for help. Desperate to talk to someone. A friendly, encouraging conversation could be all it to save their life; for that day anyhow. If they are hell bent on doing it than nothing is going to stop them. Usually the ones contemplating suicide don't talk about it. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And it's their loved that are left to pick up the pieces both figuratively & literally.

15 Nov 2010

Moving the issue of blame aside for one moment...

When someone comes into a chat room and brings up concerns of suicide, no one can say for sure whether it's a sick joke, attention seeking, a troll, or a geniune plea for help from someone looking to reach out. And because of that, no one should ever actively encourage it.

In the end, it is that person's choice and the blame lays squarely on them. But that doesn't mean other people can't edge them a little closer to making that final call.

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15 Nov 2010

When it is just words on a screen, it's sometimes easy for people to forget that those words are attached to a feeling, thinking, real person and oh so easy to say pretty much anything in the anonymity of chat. i think that's the moral of the story here. what we type effects people and while we might not have an obligation to choose to be kind over cruel, i think that those choosing cruelty should re-examine themselves. it's just as easy to be caring and supportive as it is to tear someone down, and while attacking someone or pushing them until they break might be "good for a few laughs", it is certaintly not the most shining example of humanity.

how about an aplication of the golden rule here - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you? in the long run, it will come back to you, either good or bad - those who take the time to talk someone through hard times are more likly to have the same done for them when they need it. that we have learned to be so cruel to our fellow man (and animal!) really saddens me.

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15 Nov 2010

That's pretty much what I was thinking too, Sprite.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

16 Nov 2010

Everyone is responsible for their own actions. The person who commits suicide is responsible for ending his life. And those who either urged him on or gleefully observed must take responsibility for being callous human beings.