Danny's Guide to the World Cup

17 Jun 2014

Having been subjected to wall to wall soccer by my gf, it's inevitable that certain rules and pundit phrases begin to rub off. The following guide might be helpful to those, who like me are trying to understand this sport.

1. Having a man over. This is when a team is fielding 12 players

2. The halfway line. A line drawn by the referee after 45 minutes have been played.

3. The 18 yard line. Another name for the box

4. Off side. When one or more player is on the wrong side and the defender is two legs forward of the next player to his right, when there is an R in the month.

5. The Box. See the 18 yard line.

6. A square ball. A ball that doesn't roll

7. 4-3-3 = -2

8. Simulation. A pretend game

9. Honduras. A country in Central America

10. Indirect free kick. Fuck knows

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19 Jun 2014

You seem to have picked up the rules quickly but I suppose coming from Liverpool it must be in your blood.

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19 Jun 2014

Quote by tubby1961
You seem to have picked up the rules quickly but I suppose coming from Liverpool it must be in your blood.

I'm not from Liverpool

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19 Jun 2014

I had a good giggle at this......

Well done Danny........

Lucy xxxx Big Hugs

19 Jun 2014

Thanks Danny. I didn't know any of that stuff. If I suited up and went out on that field I'd tackle somebody. I guess that's a no no isn't it? smile

I'd love to see the USA win another game though. At least we won one so far. That's a lot better than usual.

19 Jun 2014

Quote by Buz
Thanks Danny. I didn't know any of that stuff. If I suited up and went out on that field I'd tackle somebody. I guess that's a no no isn't it?

You wouldn't get a chance because before you could tackle the player...

20 Jun 2014

Quote by DanielleX

I'm not from Liverpool

Sorry Danielle I thought your location says Liverpool. There you go, my male eyesight is looking with both eyes wide shut again. d'oh!

"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn

20 Jun 2014

Quote by Buz
Thanks Danny. I didn't know any of that stuff. If I suited up and went out on that field I'd tackle somebody. I guess that's a no no isn't it?

I'd love to see the USA win another game though. At least we won one so far. That's a lot better than usual.

Tackling means something slightly different in football. There's a lot less contact.

20 Jun 2014

11. Team Dressing Room - Place where England team hides while the game is being played.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

20 Jun 2014

Quote by clum

Tackling means something slightly different in football. There's a lot less contact.

I know, its just my instincts from putting on the pads and helmet and playing American football for 13 years of my life. I loved to tackle! But I'm catching on to soccer and would love to see the USA do something special at the World Cup. I guess they already have by winning one game. That's a lot better than in the past.

In high school, my football teammates and I used to go cheer for our school's soccer team, which was very good. They won a state championship. The soccer team was made up mostly of immigrants, especially from Mexico. We had good camaraderie throughout the school. We were proud of the fact that we had an international feel to our student body. Since in the USA American football is played in the fall and soccer in the spring, we were able to get some of the Mexican soccer guys to fill out our kicker positions on our football team, and they were excellent. I might've tried soccer myself, but spring was also baseball season and I played baseball.

21 Jun 2014

Quote by tubby1961

Sorry Danielle I thought your location says Liverpool. There you go, my male eyesight is looking with both eyes wide shut again.

Nothing wrong with your eyesight, Tubby. Just because I reside in Liverpool doesn't mean I have any qualities associated with the town.

You're saying that cos I'm from Liverpool then soccer should be in my blood. Does that mean if I go to live in Edinburgh, I shall immediately be an expert player of the bagpipes?

bootyshake

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21 Jun 2014

Quote by DanielleX

Nothing wrong with your eyesight, Tubby. Just because I reside in Liverpool doesn't mean I have any qualities associated with the town.

You're saying that cos I'm from Liverpool then soccer should be in my blood. Does that mean if I go to live in Edinburgh, I shall immediately be an expert player of the bagpipes?

Similarly, does that mean if someone lives in Sandy Balls in the New Forest ............ laughing3

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

22 Jun 2014

Quote by DanielleX

Nothing wrong with your eyesight, Tubby. Just because I reside in Liverpool doesn't mean I have any qualities associated with the town.

You're saying that cos I'm from Liverpool then soccer should be in my blood. Does that mean if I go to live in Edinburgh, I shall immediately be an expert player of the bagpipes?

OUCH! Did someone get out of bed on the wrong side this morning or what? Sorry once again Danielle, I thought I was being funny but evidently not. By the way, you may be surprised how good you are on the pipes. I believe you need a lot of air to play them.

"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn