1. The act of two people exchanging aspects of eachother's intellects—thoughts, perception, memory, emotion, will; imagination—far beyond a superficial level, executed through conversation. It is often characterized by intimacy, closeness, and exclusivity between the two persons. 2. To intellectually penetrate (or enter into) one’s mind/thoughts as if in sexual intercourse. 3. The mental version of sexual intercourse.
If we don't explore with our minds first how will we explore each other with our bodies.
Fantasising is another way for our mind to delve deeper into our sexual desires and wants. Most fantases are better than the act..So I don't feel that if I am fantasising about hugh jackman that i'm cheating on my husband..my husband will get the benefit of it!!
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Is Fantasising the same as cheating?
Advanced Wordsmith
If it is, I'm skee-rude! But seriously, I don't think it is. I fantasize of upgrading my vehicle. Does that mean I'm "cheating" on the mid-sized family SUV parked in my garage? ;)
Active Ink Slinger
not at all cause its not realy happening 
just like when your dreaming i dont consider this as cheating at all.
just like when your dreaming i dont consider this as cheating at all. 
Active Ink Slinger
Umm, wifey is not at all jealous of my online friends or my imaginary lesbians.
She is however quite jealous of the time I spend with Lara Croft.
She is however quite jealous of the time I spend with Lara Croft.
Active Ink Slinger
If a couple uses many means to enrich their monogamous sex life, it's fine, we all fantasize... but I don't feel that you can plainly say that a Fantasy is in the mind while Cheating is physical. First of all what is the definition of cheating ?
Most cheating it's not about sex! Than YES, a fantasy that you're with someone also, real person or not that feeds your needs is "simply" cheating.
A lot more can be added.
Hum.. is writing an erotic story for Lush cheating? LOL
Most cheating it's not about sex! Than YES, a fantasy that you're with someone also, real person or not that feeds your needs is "simply" cheating.
A lot more can be added.
Hum.. is writing an erotic story for Lush cheating? LOL
Choose n Practice Happiness
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Active Ink Slinger
I am so screwed if fantasizing is cheating. If it is, i have been cheating for most of my 25 year marriage. I am so screwed!!!
A BIG NO, OF COURSE. WE FANTASIZED BECAUSE SOME OF US ARE BEING DEPRIVED OF SOMETHING AND SOMETIMES, IT'S HARD TO TURN YOUR ILLUSION/DREAMS INTO TANGIBLE THINGS AND "FANTASY" IS THE BEST PLACE FOR THAT. I HAVE A LOT OF SEXUAL FANTASIES(BUT IS NOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP) AND IT REALLY HELPED ME TO SOOTHE MY MIND AND BODY. SEXUAL FANTASY IS I THINK, THE SAFEST FORM (IF ANY) OF SEX. SO FEEL FREE TO PLAY CREATIVE IMAGINATION... AFTER ALL, EVERYONE HAS DIRTY SECRETS. (BUT I DON'T CONSIDER FANTASIZING AS FILTHY).
A BIG NO, OF COURSE. WE FANTASIZED BECAUSE SOME OF US ARE BEING DEPRIVED OF SOMETHING AND SOMETIMES, IT'S HARD TO TURN YOUR ILLUSION/DREAMS INTO TANGIBLE THINGS THAT'S WHY "FANTASY" IS THE BEST PLACE FOR THAT. I HAVE A LOT OF SEXUAL FANTASIES(BUT IS NOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP) AND IT REALLY HELPED ME TO SOOTHE MY MIND AND BODY. SEXUAL FANTASY IS I THINK, THE SAFEST FORM (IF ANY) OF SEX. SO FEEL FREE TO PLAY CREATIVE IMAGINATION... AFTER ALL, EVERYONE HAS DIRTY SECRETS. (BUT I DON'T CONSIDER FANTASIZING AS FILTHY).
Active Ink Slinger
I know when I'm having sex, I might switch my mind to tv characters, if they are a couple or movie characters. I have been having sex with the same person for 7 years.
It doesn't mean I love him less, it just makes my mind focus on something if he takes forever to orgasm. Especially if I am on all fours.
So the answer from my point of view is no it isn't cheating.
It doesn't mean I love him less, it just makes my mind focus on something if he takes forever to orgasm. Especially if I am on all fours.
So the answer from my point of view is no it isn't cheating.
Well, first of all, you can't really cheat. My body is mine and your body is yours. I don't belong to anyone. So I can give myself to whomever I want; I don't need your permission. Now if we are married and decide to be monogamous, that's different.
Second, my thoughts? really? You not only want to claim exclusive rights to my body, you want my thoughts too?
Of course it's not cheating.
Second, my thoughts? really? You not only want to claim exclusive rights to my body, you want my thoughts too?
Of course it's not cheating.
Active Ink Slinger
no
Cheating means you break the rules in order to win. What are the rules and what do you win? Cheating is usually perceived like getting the answers before or during a test through unscrupulous means, not by your own knowledge, having a hidden ace up your sleeve, stepping over a line in the dirt, using a "dirty trick" to win a fight, and so forth. How do these apply to fidelity in a relationship? Did you set down "rules" mutually accepted? Or are these "rules" just something vague until you "break" one or another? I can hardly ever remember a relationship in which at the beginning it was specifically stated "Okay, but don't fuck someone else" let alone "Okay, but don't have any sexual fantasies about someone else."
Active Ink Slinger
No, but say them out loud and turn your partner on, maybe he is thinking the same thing.
Rookie Scribe
No, fantasizing about someone is not like cheatinh at all. As humans we all have these lustful thoughts, but as long as we control it, i don't see it as cheating at all.
Active Ink Slinger
I'm a total fantasist - no, it's not cheating at all.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Of course not. It can actually be beneficial. Like, for instance, if a couple shares and realizes fantasies together. Also, we have no control over the mind. Cheating is a conscious and very deliberate act. We can't always control the way our minds wander. However, if you spend too much time in the realm of fantasy, then that's not helping anyone because your expectations can grow to a rather unrealistic level.
But overall fantasizing is a good thing. But like all good things, too much can be harmful.
But overall fantasizing is a good thing. But like all good things, too much can be harmful.
"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Active Ink Slinger
no it is not if we could be penalized for what we are thinking we'd all be in jail
Rookie Scribe
I hope it's not cheating cause I fantasize often with someone here...
good question. I grew up with a christian background, and this was one of the big scriptures:
Matthew 5:27-28 ESV
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I guess that means only if you're in a relationship with someone though... Personally I don't think it's cheating unless it goes beyond being in your head. #JustSayin
Matthew 5:27-28 ESV
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I guess that means only if you're in a relationship with someone though... Personally I don't think it's cheating unless it goes beyond being in your head. #JustSayin
Active Ink Slinger
of course not!
Active Ink Slinger
I say hell no but there are those who say yes some would say cyber sex is cheating .I guess depends on the person and their senseability's.I say yuo need your dreamsand fantasy's or what would really keep us going other than those things ,I guess you could say hope but I say they are entiwined.
Weaver of Words
I think there is an additional part to this. Just fantasizing, whether it be about doing something different sexually to or with your partner. or about someone in particular is one thing. And imagining things is certainly not cheating. that would be like saying you can't dream. Now I think more accurately, the question would be is fantasizing with someone other than your partner cheating (in other words, if you chat or cyber with someone online)? I think this is where the line becomes a bit more fuzzy. Assuming you have a partner, I think the question depends on whether your partner knows about it.
Perhaps you have fantasies about something he/she just does not want to do. If you discuss it and maybe set some parameters (like only chatting online on the specific website, not exchanging any real info like addresses or phone numbers, and agreeing to stop if either party or either spouse/partner feels the situation is becoming too real) and stick to that, then I think it is not cheating. On the other hand, if you hide your activity from your spouse, then I think you are cheating even before you start anything. n And of course, as soon as you do something that makes it more "real", like talking on the phone, skyping or actual meeting, then it is definitely cheating.
Perhaps you have fantasies about something he/she just does not want to do. If you discuss it and maybe set some parameters (like only chatting online on the specific website, not exchanging any real info like addresses or phone numbers, and agreeing to stop if either party or either spouse/partner feels the situation is becoming too real) and stick to that, then I think it is not cheating. On the other hand, if you hide your activity from your spouse, then I think you are cheating even before you start anything. n And of course, as soon as you do something that makes it more "real", like talking on the phone, skyping or actual meeting, then it is definitely cheating.