Revenge stories. Not cool.
You are always right and I am always wrong!! Fucking asshat!!! WHATEVER!!!
I'm fucking tired of doing all the dishes almost everyday. How fucking hard is for you to help out. I mean I'm not the only one that knows how to do them. And how about making me some food every once in a while. I cook for the 2 of you. Is it really the damn hard. You fucking lazy shits.
Bunker Love
My Dream my latest stopry
I have alot on my plate - I work late almost daily, have to go away on some weekends, family commitments, friends. The list goes on.
I am so fed up of being told I don't make enough time for you when you know how busy I am. Would you like to tell me what I should cut out to give you more attention?
It's infuriating because I'm more than happy for you to spend time with the lads or go to football games, why can't you extend the same courtesy towards me?
I'm stressed and I'm tense and I'm angry and it's unbelievable you can get under my skin this way!
Why in the name of all that is Holy do you request friendship with someone and then completely ignore them? Just a simple checkin will be more than sufficient.
Windows, you are a complete and utter cunt, to put it politely and eloquently. Trying to format a hard drive over 32GB with FAT32 is fucking impossible. Why don't you let me? Because you're a cunt, that's why. Who thought that was a good idea? Should I, as the user, not be allowed to fucking format the buggering thing how I want? Because of your complete and utter bloody incapability, I've got to download a fucking separate utility just to format the fucker with FAT32. I hate your arse! Piece of shite. Go eat yourself.
Great, a double fucking post! Fucking technology. Why do I love you so much when I hate you just as much?
Cute guy, when you come to my door to come and check the structure in my loft, can you please NOT do it when I'm wearing jogging bottoms, generally looking like crap, oh and also a bright green face mask....
*sigh*
Life! when you kick me in the nuts..........can you at least let me get up and dust myself down before you do it again.....Ta
Dear Convience Store Clerk,
You've had a bad day. We all have them. This is the part were you fucking grow up like the forty some adult you've managed to look like (that could be from your pot smoking ways, since you certainly reeked enough of it, I'm not sure, we met only today) and move on. This is not the part where you bitch about how fucking awful your entire goddamn life is to your fucking friend on the phone for ten minutes and keep giving me a finger to "Just wait a second!" This is not the part where you bitch at and about me WHILE IM STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE! Because you apparently lack the brain cells to understand (by the way, 'like' is not supposed to be used as often as spaces are in a report) and/or read this, I will break it down for you.
THE NEXT FUCKING TIME YOU HOLD UP YOUR FUCKING FINGER I WILL FUCKING BREAK IT OFF!
Sincerely,
One Less Customer
Why? Why why why? What the FUCK is wrong with you?
Fucking LIAR! I know not to believe a fucking word you say next time now, don't I? True colours shining through, and all that bollocks. And who would be the first to bitch if the tables were turned?
I hope you find out how it feels every day of the rest of your life.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
*** 
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Just fuck you! You immature little shit. Gosh you're such a coward. I don't even know what I was thinking...like not a fucking clue. Oh but I see it now all too clearly. I don't even feel sorry for you. You bring it all on yourself.
And I don't give a fuck if strawberries are out of season. I'll puree that shit and add it to my lemonade anytime I feel like it...and you'll just have to stay mad about it.
"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Dear Pitt Football, fuck you very much. I'm like freaking Charlie Fucking Brown here, get my hopes up "This time I'm actually going to kick the ball!!!" "This time Pitt is actually going to win an important game and not fuck it all away." What happens? We fucked it all away. Tino you suck giant donkey balls, seriously, you're up by 8 points, 3 minutes left, CATCH THE FUCKING SNAP IT"S NOT GOD DAMN HARD!!!! And seriously, a 33-yard feild goal? You have the nerves of an infant humming bird with a sugar high. Fuck you and you're little dog to. Now have I have a God damn paper to write that could be done by now, if I didn't waste half my day on watching you asshats.
leave me alone. you're not responsible for my mood. sometimes i don't WANT to be cheered up. sometimes i want to sit and brew and let the smoke pour out of my ears and use every swear word i've ever learned and not have anyone bother me. sometimes i want to throw shit and scream and stab Mr Pooh in the face until he bleeds stuffing and sometimes i want you to go away so i can do that and not have to worry about freaking you out cause i goddamn love you so fucking much it HURTS and i scare the fuck out of myself sometimes and so i know i scare the living shit out of you, too.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Ok, FEMA people. It's time to get off your collective asses and do your fucking job. I really don't give a shit that you had an unusual "weather event" this week; that's what you exist for. So just take a look at my fucking HEC-RAS Printout, and sign the goddam thing. I used the input numbers you fucking gave me, and the program spits out the answers. There is no way in HELL I could change the 100 year floodplain elevation even if I gave a rat's ass what the answer was enough to want to.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
If you crawl any further up your own ass, you'll be vomiting your own head inside out.
Just. Fuck. Off.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Fuck you for not listening. We told you to stay away from that stupid cuntsucker you call a friend. and then you got busted with him. that's your fault. quit looking for my pity and sympathy. I told you what not to do, you chose to ignore my advice. I give exactly ZERO fucks about how hard off you are now.
Honest, open-minded and caring? Bullshit.
You're a lying, bigoted piece of shit that only looks out for number one. Get the fuck outta my bubble, you judgmental cunt.
If I was a violent person, I'd so dearly love to smash your fucking teeth in. With my foot.
How the fuck could you say that to me! You are supposed to be my friend! You know me and still you say that to me! Go to hell you idiot and keep your bloody opinion to yourself!!! I have supported you in every fucking way I can, and this is what I get in return? Thanks a lot!! You hurt me today!
How can buying lingerie be so fucking complicated? It's an absolute joke! I do my measurements and your website tells me I'm a 30AA - seriously!? In shock I check the M&S site, I'm wearing one of theirs now and they tell me that I should be wearing a 34AA! What the fuck! I'm wearing a 32DD!!
GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
A text? You damn idiot. How do you get the nerve sending me a text at 3 in the fucking morning saying that I broke up your marriage?! You're seriously out of your mind. I did nothing! If you can't handle the lifestyle, get the fuck out of it. SMH at weak ass people thinking they can save their damn marriage by swinging.
Too much time on my hands and probably too much wine has got me all fucking melancholy and thinking about the "good ole days" and how my life feels like it's in shambles now.
Fucking asshole. If I could go back to that one definitive moment, that one pivotal point in my life and change it, I would string you up by your balls and hoped you'd bleed out. You cocksucking piece of shit.
I hope you rot. I never cussed so much in my life before I met you and I could never understand why people did it, but fuck you. I feel better after saying every fucking swear word I can think of to describe your miniscule genitalia and your pea-sized brain. I fucking hate you and what I let you do to me and my life. I wish nothing but rage and pain and that you die a long, slow lingering death. Painful, too.
I hope you can't even complain, cause that's all you ever did.
Oh woe is me. You fucking pansy. You had a hangnail and the world was ending. You broke my jaw. But I had to shut up cause you didn't want to be reminded that you were a wife beating useless cocksucker that took out your aggression on my face cause "I looked at you funny".
I looked at you funny cause I couldn't understand how so much stupidity came out of your mouth and how you could still manage to remember to take a breath. Some shit is supposed to be hardwired into you, like breathing and blinking. But honestly, I often wondered why it was you lived. You were so fucking dumb you had to remember your left from right by how you put your fucking socks on in the morning.
What the fuck was I thinking? It wasn't for your towering intellect, that's for sure. Or your sack skills. I must've fallen for your endless babble of bullshit. Fuck, I drank too much back then. I could've done so much better. Now all I need for you to do is spontaneously combust the next time you tell a lie, which should happen in about 30 seconds, then I can have closure and write your sorry, pathetic ass out of my life.
