Number 10: When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died."
Number 9: If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
Number 8: Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
Number 7: If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
Number 6: If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Number 5: Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
Number 4: After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
Number 3: Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Number 2: Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
And first and foremost:
Number 1: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
last reply
8 replies
1.1k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Active Ink Slinger
I always tell ask them if they accept payments in navel lint and lawn clippings... Or ask them why they want my baby to starve, since buying from them is more important than buying groceries.
Active Ink Slinger
Ha ha - I love it ! I shall print this off and keep it by the phone.
I just hope the next telesales bod. to call is one of those smarmy, eloquent ones - you know the type, they always collect for charities. Bring it on ! x
I just hope the next telesales bod. to call is one of those smarmy, eloquent ones - you know the type, they always collect for charities. Bring it on ! x
Active Ink Slinger
GOOD one. I'm going to write them down n use them every time they call me 
These remind me of a Telesales person who 'phoned my brother, offering him a Conservatory. The conversation went something like this:
"Hello I'm calling from XYZ Conservatories, and wondered if you'd be interested in our latest deals"
"As it happens, I've always wanted a Conservatory"
"Excellent Sir, well, can we recommend our prestige model"
"Sounds good, what does it come with?"
The conversation continued for several minutes, with the salesperson extolling the virtues of the particular conservatory, until my brother interrupted,
"I'm just curious, how are you going to support the conservatory?"
"Erm, well Sir, we install concrete foundations, and key it into the existing brickwork"
"What about the stilts?"
"Stilts Sir?"
"Yes, seeing as I live in a second floor flat, you'll need some bloody big stilts"
Click, Brrrrrrrr
"Hello I'm calling from XYZ Conservatories, and wondered if you'd be interested in our latest deals"
"As it happens, I've always wanted a Conservatory"
"Excellent Sir, well, can we recommend our prestige model"
"Sounds good, what does it come with?"
The conversation continued for several minutes, with the salesperson extolling the virtues of the particular conservatory, until my brother interrupted,
"I'm just curious, how are you going to support the conservatory?"
"Erm, well Sir, we install concrete foundations, and key it into the existing brickwork"
"What about the stilts?"
"Stilts Sir?"
"Yes, seeing as I live in a second floor flat, you'll need some bloody big stilts"
Click, Brrrrrrrr
A friend of mine got a call asking; if he could replace any two windows in his house for free, which ones would it be?
He told them, and after they hung up, he sat back and waited.
30 minutes it took, and he got a call from someone saying they had been made aware that he was in the market for some windows.
Over 20 minutes the guy regaled my friend with tales of how great their windows are. Finally he got to the price.
My friend pointed out that he didn't need any windows at all. The caller pointed out the earlier call where my friend had said he would replace two windows, so my friend reminded the caller that the question was about FREE windows, and that he never intended to buy windows, he was just willing to pass the time talking about free ones.
The caller was a bit short as he explained that he had now wasted nearly half an hour with my friend, who had no intention of buying anything.
My Scottish friend simply pointed out that it was the caller who rang him, my friend was off work ill, and was bored stiff. When he asked the caller if he wanted to chat some more about windows, the line went dead.
Some days it's good to get sales people on the line!
He told them, and after they hung up, he sat back and waited.
30 minutes it took, and he got a call from someone saying they had been made aware that he was in the market for some windows.
Over 20 minutes the guy regaled my friend with tales of how great their windows are. Finally he got to the price.
My friend pointed out that he didn't need any windows at all. The caller pointed out the earlier call where my friend had said he would replace two windows, so my friend reminded the caller that the question was about FREE windows, and that he never intended to buy windows, he was just willing to pass the time talking about free ones.
The caller was a bit short as he explained that he had now wasted nearly half an hour with my friend, who had no intention of buying anything.
My Scottish friend simply pointed out that it was the caller who rang him, my friend was off work ill, and was bored stiff. When he asked the caller if he wanted to chat some more about windows, the line went dead.
Some days it's good to get sales people on the line!
Active Ink Slinger
My mom kept a police whistle by the phone and whenever a telemarketeer called she would blow that whistle right into the phone, She said it was better than the national do not call registry.
Ehhhhh, What's up Doc?
Active Ink Slinger
LOL! omg I love all these ideas!
Active Ink Slinger
Further to the "hello judy" continue this in the same vain
How are you
hows the family
haven't heard from you for ages
Just keep talking as if they are your best friend. They will put the phone down!
Do not stop talking just be relentless with the conversation.
How are you
hows the family
haven't heard from you for ages
Just keep talking as if they are your best friend. They will put the phone down!
Do not stop talking just be relentless with the conversation.