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Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

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curious3045
Active Ink Slinger
Az was worried and wanted me to check on you
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Guest
Lurker
I'm sorry but due to further NHS cuts we need the bed for a BUPA patient.
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
bet you wished you had private insurance now
Guest
Lurker
I told you drunk sheep tipping wasent a good idea
ricinatl
Active Ink Slinger
Don't worry boy, Lassie is really a bitch.
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
now that's spoiled the character, now open and take you medicine
Guest
Lurker
Well i told you that it wasent a good idea to ride that unicycle blindfolded
Guest
Lurker
I tried to worn you that wasn't a real bone..
Plushbunny
Active Ink Slinger
That was a SEX change you wanted, wasn't it?
" I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer"
Woody Allen
Guest
Lurker
Are you saying I have a dick now?

There are a bumper crop of carrots.
baileyass
Active Ink Slinger
They gave you 3 breasts on top of that dick. Sorry babe.
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
OMG you've woken up in the little shop of horrors ... hands back admission forms ill go else where
Guest
Lurker
I tried to tell you but nooooooo as always you have to be right. Just go ahead and stick your head in another alligators mouth why dont you.
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
the next time you decide to travel and your in a rush to pack make sure you get dressed first undoing that zipper is going to hurt ... Now hold still
Jam_Wil_Mac
Active Ink Slinger
As a Kiwi, you should know how much of a health risk sheep can be. Steer clear of them in future.
SirBunny
Active Ink Slinger
The sex change opporation was a success, Jasmine, Oh sorry you want to be known as James, now.
Guest
Lurker
You really shouldn't put carrots there no matter how much you like them ... who would think they'd get stuck ! Lol silly bunny putting carrots in your ears lol
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
umm argh with that look on your face Innocent ah what happened to the other carrots?
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Good news is your breast enlargements were a success, bad news is the Dr faked his credentials and never actually finished medical school. Your balls are now your breasts and your breasts are now your balls.VXKGvRCjV8tuHAqk
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
WSCLG
Candyman
Now, don't get excited, but should we be tested for anything specific?
"I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." Nikos Kazantzakis
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
the testing lab is further along the corridor ... straight down turn left onwards second star right
baileyass
Active Ink Slinger
you should not wear 9 inch platforms, you're lucky you just sprained your ankles
Unknown User
Sorry about getting so wild last night....it was a full moon
Guest
Lurker
You are a feisty wolf but my dear you aren't actually a real wolf, should not have tried to run with a pack.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
I told you not to wear the lime green willykini, it was a gay bar ffs what did u expect...docs say ur bum will be better in 7 to 10 days, now open up ive got ur ibuprofen

EDIT.. fuck Nicks that was for mr feisty

Nicks U had a nervous breakdown after you realised my post for Mr Feisty was better than urs, now take ur meds and relax
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
calm down feisty they'll unleash you soon enough just as soon as they get the fence picket out from between your teeth
Guest
Lurker
Hold her hand, she was there for my ass pain. Antonio well he was a little too enthusiastic. You... just rest. That was k.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by NickiC
Hold her hand, she was there for my ass pain. Antonio well he was a little too enthusiastic. You... just rest. That was k.


Yeah bypassing is rude is it not Nicks? its not like said person didn't know we had already posted but hey Feisty is hot who can blame her.

Im sorry I slammed you on the head with that shoe Nicks but I did see them 1st babes and they were my size not urs and well they do look hotter on me...just sayin
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx