Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

last reply
2.3k replies
84.7k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Alezander
Active Ink Slinger
Autoerotic Asphyxiation is a SERIOUS thing!
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Great news! The surgery to remove the strap on will only take an hour!
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Alezander
Autoerotic Asphyxiation is a SERIOUS thing!


That's freakin funny, man!
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Hello my name is Kiera and I will be your nurse this evening. I understand you're having trouble providing a sperm sample I am here to assist you.

Now roll over onto all fours there's a good chap, (rolls on surgical gloves and lubes up fingers) We will get that sample from you in no time just relax
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Guest
Lurker
Well Kiera my name is doctor Wardog I'm the guy you correctly ID'd as a PROCTOLOGIST and I'll be the one removing the gerbil, uh, I'm going to find WHAT else in there?
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Oh thank God!! Dr. Wardog, I was jumped by a bunch of U.S.M.C. guys, I think that stands for Uncle Sam's Masturbating Champs...anyway, one of them lost his U. S. Naval Academy class ring in there.
Guest
Lurker
I can see that the run in with ACTUAL MEN has caused a brain injury you'll be needing care in a nursing facility. Uh nurse can you arrange transport for him to GITMO?
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Wardog
I can see that the run in with ACTUAL MEN has caused a brain injury you'll be needing care in a nursing facility. Uh nurse can you arrange transport for him to GITMO?




Doc, I am prohibited from going to Camp Delta...you know...that whole Marine Amateur porn with detainees incident and all...
alliet14
Active Ink Slinger
I told you that you should have not masturbated with Icy Hot.
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Allie...you have got to STOP trying to...uh...increase the difficulty level during sex. This is why you pull a hamstring and tear your rotator cuff
Guest
Lurker
ok rod, once more...how'd you get those burns on your ass what you mean lighting a candle?
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by ginger86
ok rod, once more...how'd you get those burns on your ass what you mean lighting a candle?




LOL!!!

But, I won a round of drinks at the pub. They did not think I could do it.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by HotRodG


LOL!!!

But, I won a round of drinks at the pub. They did not think I could do it.


heehee i won a round of drinks too, only my ass was cool


HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Another redneck whirlpool accident!!! The horror! When will the madness stop??
Guest
Lurker
Hmmmm! Called Ginger a redneck? Just how long did the doctors say your balls would be that swollen?
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by kinkygirl
Hmmmm! Called Ginger a redneck? Just how long did the doctors say your balls would be that swollen?


The doctor has given me prednisone to bring the swelling down but what really sucks is having to use the colostomy bag.
Guest
Lurker
hope you know kinks was just kidding. we were both born in same town of Georgia and consider ourselves Georgia peaches.hjT3EAyOMu4CSk5S

btw, was aiming for you ass, not your balls.YkgcH52HxqAZPoki
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by ginger86


btw, was aiming for you ass, not your balls.K75pgNQZ1pr3nzKB


^^^^^^^ Well, that is really no consolation. This really screws up my speedo modelling gig.
Guest
Lurker
Dude I told you to slow down! Now I get both girls because your in traction.
Guest
Lurker
That's a lie! I happen to KNOW that Kiera has a squirting dildo! Which her proctologist (yeo I AM gonna make ya PAY for that one Hon! LOL) is going to removing in addition to the gerbil!
Guest
Lurker
Hi Buz yeah its just a bad water infection, they said a tap on the head would fix it, thats why you waking up with a headache, I tapped it with a 4 by 2
Guest
Lurker
We had an ass off and I got a little mad that you won. I am sorry. I spoon you some broth.
Guest
Lurker
Well in the third ass off I won. Don't look so smug you oh you don't. Spoons my special broth. With kindness always Buz
Tranquil
Active Ink Slinger
Have you never realised that chewing too much cilantro will cause a form of dysentery? here change it to parsley, great for the blood and softer on the bowel
Guest
Lurker
I fed you too many forest herbs in your veggie soup. I thought the mushrooms were just regular mushrooms when I made the soup.