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Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

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Guest
Lurker
i told you not to try and eat that whole steak in one sitting...lol
bill11
Active Ink Slinger
Ginger, glad to see you awake, that was a bad fall you took last night while pole dancing
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
Your right ginger Ill use a knife and fork and cut him up into manageable pieces ... Bill did you grease her pole
baileyass
Active Ink Slinger
Looks like we managed to twist our ankles with those heels and booze.
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
like my burns your feet weren't meant for my heels but that's ok you can share the bed to assist in your healing
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
You were drunk and walked into a lamp post knocked yourself clean out. You've got 2 black eyes now and well that huge bump on your forehead makes you look a bit like the elephant man, but don't worry babes its will go down eventually
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

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And my latest poem, The Temptation.

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bill11
Active Ink Slinger
Sorry to find you here in the hospital, did not realize you were ready to deliver, but they tell me the C-section went well
Guest
Lurker
Next time, follow the instructions more carefully! Okay?
Guest
Lurker
just how did you get that snapping turtle caught on your penis?
Guest
Lurker
Trust me, Babe. You really do not want to know.
Guest
Lurker
Damn!!!! Who fucked you up?
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
I suppose that happens when you enter the zoo after hours
Guest
Lurker
awwwww az, i told you not to use those new, super charged batteries.


sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
the instructions you left were a bit smeared 9v not 24 no wonder I went through the roof
sweetaz
Active Ink Slinger
"congratulations its a squid" ... men in black loading zone at the Aquarium here we come
baileyass
Active Ink Slinger
Sorry, we shouldn't drink so much. But here's a new bottle. Shhhhhhh
simplyjohn
Site administrator
I told you I was a BIG boy ... just how far down your throat does the swelling go?
baileyass
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by kiera


Indeed you are, its so big you got it caught in your zipper. You screamed so loud you burst both your eardrums, that's why i'm writing this down for you as you can no longer hear



SJ nicked his skin with that zipper he though he has become an eunuch and begged the doctors to save his manhood. Kiera laughed so hard we had to send her in, cos we thought she became a loony.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
So how is your throat today and omg why have you got an abalone down there!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guest
Lurker
dam john, why'd you let her on top?


simplyjohn
Site administrator
I actually dont know wtf to say G I really dont lmao.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Will you please stop encouraging her KK ... and for the record I dont have an issue with BBW but thats a bit much.
baileyass
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by kiera
It was so nice of you to donate your manhood to save SJ, Congratulations babes your now officially a woman


Yup being a woman is fab! SJ can have my manhood but betwen you and me, it reacts when a sexy man comes along.
Guest
Lurker
You must be amazing of while kissing you he dropped you to the ground, Hope you recover from the concussion soon,