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Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

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Unknown User
really ? when are you gonna stop messing with the gas bombs
Loner_forever
Active Ink Slinger
told you if dont stop fucking 10x a night you will be in the hospital with a sore pussy LOL
Unknown User
i told u not to look u got poked in the eye with the other guys cock
Loner_forever
Active Ink Slinger
What did I warn you about.. if you place yourself in that 20 people orgy you won't come out in one peace
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Ok, I get it...neon light bulb up the ass...I am just trying to figure out how it exploded...
Unknown User
I knew this would happen too many drinks and I touch u once and u fell over hit ur head and passed out
Amylovelace
Active Ink Slinger
Im your long lost daughter
bill11
Active Ink Slinger
Amy, I hate to break this bad news to you, but the accident has caused you to loos all feeling below your waist. Yes this includes
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
It seems you have been diagnosed with PSAS or Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Just the slightest tremor, like the ones from your food processor caused a trembling orgasm and you blacked out and fell down hitting your head.
hiddentalent123
Active Ink Slinger
Trying to pay that stripper with quarters was NOT a good idea bro
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
You worked a heavy welding nut into the shaft of your dick.... It got stuck in there the moment you got an erection. Logistics dude...logistics
hiddentalent123
Active Ink Slinger
How could you possibly think that putting a MRE bomb in your ass as a party joke would be funny?!!
TheSensualLady
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
Stuffing fireworks down your boxers and lighting them to see if you can fly higher than normal in a sandstorm isn't very smart Matt. It's going to take months for the burns to heal.
 Kissing your lips while straddling your lap. 
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by hiddentalent123
How could you possibly think that putting a MRE bomb in your ass as a party joke would be funny?!!


LMAO...there are probably only 2 people who know what that is!!
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by TheSensualLady
Stuffing fireworks down your boxers and lighting them to see if you can fly higher than normal in a sandstorm isn't very smart Matt. It's going to take months for the burns to heal.


Let me get this straight...you were kissing the guy so hard, there was a change in pressure and you ruptured your eardrum??
TheSensualLady
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
Sure, candlelight can be romantic ... but seriously Rod ... next time use more light, especially when you've been eating in bed. Then you'll be able to avoid plates with leftover suicide hot wing sauce the next time your date wants to give you a back massage while you're naked and tells you to roll over. You woke all of the neighbors up with your screams of "It burns, it burns, oh baby it burns, I think I'm dying," while running outside to jump in the pool.
 Kissing your lips while straddling your lap. 
bill11
Active Ink Slinger
Racy, they were able to restore most of the damaged tissue, but there will be some scarring due to the exposure from the sun lamps. You should have not fallen asleep on the lamp table
Guest
Lurker
Aquaman told you fishermen to get out of water, but y'all didn't listen. What were you thinking?! Luckily Wonder Woman and I got y'all out before the bombs went off.
ShortnSassy
Chat Moderator
Gawd you thought you were Superman and jumped ... Good thing
I had the trampoline there and you only hit your head
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Ok keep still Sass dont move I can explain ok.

You choked on a peanut right, were turning blue and everything so I did the heimlich maneuver saved your life, shhhhhhhhhhh ignore the handcuffs i'm getting to that part.

Anyway the peanut shot out with such force and hit SensualLady on the head, knocked her clean out poor thing so erm yeah you've been arrested for assault but hey she's in the bed next to you I'm sure if you apologise when she eventually wakes up this can all get resolved
The Duchess of Tart

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Guest
Lurker
awwww babes, with you being sick i told you that you couldn't fuck the whole team at once


Guest
Lurker
The doctors say burns will heal with time, told you connecting bullet direct to mains was a no no. Good news is I get to do your dressings daily,
alliet14
Active Ink Slinger
Ready for that examination?
Guest
Lurker
Whose turn to examine and whose turn as examinee
hiddentalent123
Active Ink Slinger
No KK, being bow legged is going to pass...don't worry hon. The doctor said it should take about 3-4 weeks or so. It's your face...that's the problem...how should I say this?...well, I'll just say it! Your "Oh God! I'm cumming!!" face is permanent.
Guest
Lurker
awwww ht! i was just kidding when i said i would only have sex with you if you were a girl.

hi babes, you snuck in on me. doc says it may still take a week or two to wipe that smile off your face