Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

15 May 2014

One question how the hell did you get it in there, they had to bring in tyre fitters with bars to get it out, good news no stitches

15 May 2014

You just found my new avatar Ginger! Lmao!

Bobbie! Good news! The electolysis on your back and ass was successful! You can finally wear a swimsuit to the pool without looking like a bear is hugging you! There may be an extra charge though, they had to bring in a veterinarian for extra consultation.

15 May 2014

the towel didn't help when the truck ran into u

15 May 2014

sorry hun, they still didn't get the feline/dragon splice right

15 May 2014

So glad your awake Ginger, the operation was a successful, but you may find pole vaulting into the convent is something you want to avoid in future.

15 May 2014

Ginger...sweet Ginger...now do you know why I told you not to use a toy called The Violator 2000. It had a diesel tank and a pull cord attached to it to get it started for shit sake!!

Damn! too slow!

Bobbie: How was I supposed to know that the bra ginger told me to wear would snap and hit you in the eye?!

15 May 2014

Hidden, I told you it was too dangerous to try to hide that Talent.... they had to operate to get it out of your ass.

15 May 2014

Hi Trink, erm you are only supposed to hold the cello between your legs not envelop it

15 May 2014

That was a cello?

Bobbie, they had to operate to dig that damned cucumber out of the hole.

15 May 2014

That was your fault for hiding the lube, by the way the doctor asked if you wanted the bullet removed, I told him just to put new batteries in.

15 May 2014

oh geeze what were you thinking

16 May 2014

Wow. . .all those tattoos. You're probably the most artistic person I've saved.

17 May 2014

Sorry dude, they tried to super size you... it exploded instead..

19 May 2014

You can't just go off an have these types of debauched weekends and not pay the penalty. really a baseball bat? where is your dignity .

20 May 2014

okay the doc said your going to be fine he did say next time don't jump off the top of the house into the shallow end again

21 May 2014

You slipped and fell on the vibrator huh?? I hear that a lot Whistle

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

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21 May 2014

oh Kiera, so sorry, but I thought everyone knew not to tug on super-girls cape.

22 May 2014

You slipped and fell cause you had a bug, Allie. At 69 you really should watch where you're walking.

22 May 2014

The surgeon said he was impressed with all the trinkets the removed from inside you. You should recover in no time.

22 May 2014

LMAO You tripped and fell in a dark allie and got knocked unconscious. 69 bugs came along and bugged you until you woke up and screamed for help.

22 May 2014

You did what up in the tree?

22 May 2014

The surgery was a success. Now you are officially a woman!

22 May 2014

The trap was successfully removed with little to no damage to you heart.

22 May 2014

You were right...it IS monkey pox....

The Cellist: Glissando | Lush Stories

22 May 2014

Its water on the brain, so they gave you a tap on the head

22 May 2014

How many times have I told you to leave the bears alone when they are ransacking the garbage?

22 May 2014

I told you NOT on my hall!

22 May 2014

So there you are. The doctor needs you down the hall. Stat!

23 May 2014

Oh, I didn't realize you were awake. Hope you didnt see to much of that Embarassed

23 May 2014

I'm afraid you'll have to vacate that bed...it's reserved for someone else. The crystal ball never lies.