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Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

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Guest
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awwww babes.... told you not to stand behind carl when he has gas...remember, he's the devil and the hoff


Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by ginger86
awwww babes.... told you not to stand behind carl when he has gas...remember, he's the devil and the hoff




Maybe you shouldn't always take my advice babes you got Rods Cock stuck they had to amputate it now he's called Roderique

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Gil_Renard
I'm not for everyone
You'll never fit it all in your mouth, why must you insist on trying.
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Kiera...just relax...you had an allergic reaction to the material the dildo is made of...with some shots, you are going to be okay and the swelling will go down.
Guest
Lurker
The viagra finally wore off...
tubby1961
Active Ink Slinger
Bella we couldn't remember if you wanted a breast reduction or enlargement so we did one of each.
"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn
Guest
Lurker
awwww tubby, don't worry. you just choked your chicken so hard you gave yourself a hemorrhroid


Guest
Lurker
KK multi orgasms every night a wearing you out cut it back to one a night
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Ok...just some helpful information...in the future, if you must have sex on the roof of a building, do not do it on the "Roof" of a Pyramid shaped building...also, do not do it in the rain...it gets slippery.
Unknown User
I told you that wasn't proper lube, it was superglue. How's it feel now that it's open, babe?
Guest
Lurker
If anything were to happen? Can i inherit all ur stuff?
Guest
Lurker
told you not to eat those baked beans before diving. btw, sorry about the harpoon in ass, you were floating away.Z0tIKM1IsPypRzEE


Guest
Lurker
I've warned you about sitting in those praries before.



But no, you want to be one with nature. Look where that got you.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Look I'm sorry ok, I swear I thought i was handing you canisten cream not deep heat Drs say the burning sensation should ease off in a few days time to just a mild discomfort...Drs also suggested dousing Jr in yogurt... apparently its soothing and will also help clear up your thrush
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Kiera, you are okay...sneaking off to have sex outside, you have to watch for fire ants.
hiddentalent123
Active Ink Slinger
You're a kinky fuck Rod! But a hand job from a live lobster?! Over the top brother!
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Ok, HT your neck is suspect already...so trying the upside down, reverse cow girl position you should have known...Does this hurt? <Slapping the back of your neck brace>
TheSensualLady
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
Getting your cock stuck in a swimming pool return on a dare from your friends while you're drunk isn't very smart Rod.
 Kissing your lips while straddling your lap. 
Guest
Lurker
I'm sorry, Racy, I didn't mean to drop the crate of Popsicles and ice cream sandwiches on you. I'm clumsy.
Unknown User
Sorry. I didn't think connecting your vibe to the mains to give it MORE POWER would be quite that ... um ... disastrous.
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
If a wet tongue will freeze to a metal pole...exactly what did you think the wet penis would do??
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Babes I know you get hot hard and horny over me but seriously taking a cold shower for that length of time???? What were you thinking??? you've given yourself bloody pnuemonia ... good news is you wont be suffering from permanent erections for a while
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Guest
Lurker
awwww babes, i think you broke his piston, his rod no longer works
HotRodG
Active Ink Slinger
Ginger...you should know by now that KK squirms and wiggles when you put your lips and tongue on certain parts of her body. Remember to tie her to your bed next time...by the way, that's a nice shiner you have on your eye....
Guest
Lurker
you went unconscious with one of your orgasm