Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

5 Sep 2014

Your being switched to geico

Someone has to be the Villain

5 Sep 2014

Your dream came true, finally you are a woman.

5 Sep 2014

You have broken your leg in two places, don't go to those places again

5 Sep 2014

"Hi, I'm your nurse. This little button in your hand administers morphine on demand, in addition to the doses already administered by the pump. Please use this button to help control your pain, and let me know if you feel that your pain > a 2 on a 1-10 scale."

Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!

Drill Day - Tension
Double Oxer - Beribboned And Bowed - Blood Lust - Losing It - My Favourite Word

5 Sep 2014

(Edit too slow - this was for Bobbie...) You got blindsided on the left side AGAIN...

For HeraTeleia: Your raving story fans once again got whipped up into a frenzy when they saw you at the mall and you got knocked out by the mob... next time maybe a disguise is a good idea.

5 Sep 2014

Doctor said you're just playing hookey to get away from work....for wasting his time, said a good swat will fix you up

5 Sep 2014

I guessing you didn't want vibrator removed just the batteries changed

5 Sep 2014

I'm sorry...we've no idea.

(no eye, dear)
??????????????

Oh...please yourselves!!!

5 Sep 2014

If you must paint toilet seat, wait till paint is dry before sitting on it

7 Sep 2014

Don't be ashamed, no one can stand up to,

NINJA CAT.

7 Sep 2014

so much for safe crash landings huh?

8 Sep 2014

Quote by LadyAnnWest
sorry babes, doctor told me you broke it

LOL.. Do you have any time to help me with therapy angel7

My Stories

No Ordinary Gal

Fucked and Taken

That Special Evening

8 Sep 2014

I am nurse pleasure and i have to come to make your hospital stay better!

Believe in yourself and all things are possible

8 Sep 2014

Really, honestly do not put lick a metal post in freezing weather. It's a law of nature.

9 Sep 2014

Next time you hang your hat on a hat rack, make sure it has been stuffed first, and is not still an elk.

9 Sep 2014

You were just below your hair but now its all gone

10 Sep 2014

They could only remove the "Do Not" part of the tattoo above your ass. They couldn't remove "Enter".
Don't wear thongs on the beach smile

11 Sep 2014

Quote by gilrenard
They could only remove the "Do Not" part of the tattoo above your ass. They couldn't remove "Enter".
Don't wear thongs on the beach

That cracked me up Gil

The doctors say the rope burns will heal in days but they can't use anaesthetic to remove the beer bottle from your arse.

11 Sep 2014

Oh shit! i've grown an extra appendage

15 Sep 2014

Doc says this is the last time he removes your cock from a cheese grater, not that he minds, but there ain't any more left.

12 Oct 2014

Well, that will teach you to steel my can of pepsi...there was a wasp in it and turns out ur highly allergic..only thing not swollen on u now is your dick Whistle

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

12 Oct 2014

Sorry but..... You lost your virginity... Lol

21 Oct 2014

Hmmmm I didn't know one could catch fleas on that kind of pussy, neither did the Docs truth me told.

Hey Maryana Big Hugs

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

1 Dec 2014

why did you jump the fence when you knew the guards were going to change shifts in 30 mins? We could've sneaked through then

7 Dec 2014

That wasnt a rampant rabbit it was a Rabid rabbit.

Hey Bunni Big Hugs

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

7 Dec 2014

Looks like the bicycle faired out better than you did.

7 Dec 2014

Its ok, the boat is ok, but I shouldn't drive it ever again

7 Dec 2014

That last set of scans was very revealing...but we'll have to call a Specialist to get them all out of you...

7 Dec 2014

But it was a fun night at least!

7 Dec 2014

Maybe that got a bit rough