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Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

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simar
The Engineer
Who told you this increased your tool. Thank god it didn't shrink it.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Belthazor


...Well that was kind of lame, dude. You literally just copied what I said. Boring!


No need for name calling.

Apparently, the subtly of its intent was lost on you.
Valken
Active Ink Slinger
You pinged?
Guest
Lurker
Ah, you're awake.

The good news... surgery went well.

The bad news... you need to pick a female name to be know as from now on.
simar
The Engineer
Well sorry...but you had to borrow limbs from your tiger Hobbs......so would you like to be called Cobbs now?
Guest
Lurker
Quote by simar
Well sorry...but you had to borrow limbs from your tiger Hobbs......so would you like to be called Cobbs now?


Well, that was corny.
Guest
Lurker
FOR SIMAR:

I'm sorry, but fraternal Siamese twins should not have sex with one another.

It's my recommendation that you find another twin set, and have a four-some.

Love always,

Mom

(Note read aloud by their doctor)
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
okay guys it is just a game nothing said here is personal, all fun

Doctor said once they found your phone and pulled it out your constipation stoped
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Belthazor


I... wasn't name calling...?

But okay whatever.


Fair enough. No crime, no foul.
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
That gown gives an new meaning to I.C.U.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by heidi
That gown gives an new meaning to I.C.U.


Okay, that was funny. Very good.

I've never heard that one before.
Guest
Lurker
Good morning Ping...don't you think it's better you could have invited me for lunch or dinner in a lovely restaurant than a hospital ...here coffee sucks
Guest
Lurker
Well... how about breakfast?

I know you're thinking it.

What else would you be thinking about when you wake to see me standing at your bedside?
Belthazor
Idk... Gryffindor?
Quote by heidi
That gown gives an new meaning to I.C.U.


That was pretty good. lol

Ping, the last time we saw you in here, I recommended you cut back. Now I'm telling you straight up: quit drinking or you're gonna' die. Your liver is... yeesh. I believe the medical term is "f*cked."
simar
The Engineer
You see those feet.....they aren't real and so are your hands...you lost them . as for your tool...well we couldn't find a prosthetic one..but I think a vagina should work just fine.
patokl
Active Ink Slinger
While tapping on the glass: "Hello..... hello......, were you trying to talk just now?"

Turning to a colleague: "Shit Frank, this one wasn't dead yet, when we took his brains out!"
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
lynnwitt
Quantum Tease
Quote by patokl
While tapping on the glass: "Hello..... hello......, were you trying to talk just now?"

Turning to a colleague: "Shit Frank, this one wasn't dead yet, when we took his brains out!"



That was pretty good!


...................................................................................................


Well, now you have beauty instead of brains....
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
It will be fine, stay calm, a vet it on the way
Guest
Lurker
Can you explain why you had sex with the stuffed tiger?

The cartoon kid said he watched the whole thing.
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
I f you can't remember how you got that big bump let me tell you, as the police told me. You were in the porn store trying out the products and the owner hit you with a baseball bat.
Guest
Lurker
So, the police want to go over your story again.

How again did you say you got that baseball bat stuck in your derriere?
lynnwitt
Quantum Tease
The general rule is one-at-a-time with anal toys.
simar
The Engineer
Who told you it was okay to lube up with jelly...you got infestation back there.
patokl
Active Ink Slinger
Playing with honey is always sweet, but out in the woods? Didn't you read Winnie the Pooh? Honey attracts bears.....
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
simar
The Engineer
Sorry dude..but looks like this device...(holding up a chastity lock) choked captain pick. I don't think he can raise the mast ever again.
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
Doctor had to decide who got the brain when you were separated.
lynnwitt
Quantum Tease
Quote by heidi
Doctor had to decide who got the brain when you were separated.

I would not have been able to avoid adding... "you lost".

......................................................................................................

The prognosis is very good, but it will take quite some time to get those shorts detached.
Guest
Lurker
We've run the tests. I'm sorry.

You are deathly allergic to your orgasm. No more for you. It could kill you.

My suggestion... marry a man. You could still have sex but you should be safe from your orgasm during it.