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Really bad Jokes that your parents used to tell (Dad Jokes)- do your worst

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apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
Quote by Darkvision29
Two men walked into a bar - you'd think one of them would have ducked.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
mollflanders
Active Ink Slinger
How long is a Chinaman............in those far less politically correct days
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
"One for me and one for the road please"

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
MyWildfire
Cheeky Rascal
How do I make impatient people angry?


I’ll tell you tomorrow
RonB1
Active Ink Slinger
How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper
samg61
Active Ink Slinger
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face. (only told this after i was about 20)
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by Grace
Reading some titles on my bookshelves:

Rusty Bedsprings by I P Nightly
Brown Spots on the Wall by Who Flung Dung


Tragedy in a Cesspool, by Eileen Toofar
Yellow Sheets, by I P Freely
Under the Bleachers, by Seymour Butts
Meagananne1986
Sexy Seductive Siren
Q - What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A - Full

Dad could be quite crude when drinking around his USAF buddies.
Guest
Lurker
Q. Did you hear the one about the bell ringer who got his dick tied up in the bell rope?
A. The vicar tolled him off.
Meagananne1986
Sexy Seductive Siren
Q - What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A - Full

Dad could be quite crude when drinking around his USAF buddies.
RonB1
Active Ink Slinger
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Dinasoreass
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always
had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
Unknown User
Ivanka
Щíccαη Щoods Щhore
Quote by apptobebad
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always
had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."


giggles...This ist very funny.
. . .♀♌TT☩✯⁂⊕⧋▽⧊ )◯( ψΨ∅ǯǮǯ∞✾❈❁✤. . .
Ivanka
Щíccαη Щoods Щhore
Two girls go fishing in the early morning.

One girl fishing on the right side of the boat ist catching them like crazy.
The girl fishing on the left side ist not catching anything.

The girl on the left asks, "Why are you catching so many fish und I'm not?".
The girl on the right says, "Before I go fishing that morning I reach over und grab my man's cock,
...if it ist laying on the left side then I fish on the left side of the boat, if the right side then I fish on right side of the boat".

The girl on the left then asks, "What if it ist standing straight up?".

The girl on the right says, "Then I don't go fishing".
. . .♀♌TT☩✯⁂⊕⧋▽⧊ )◯( ψΨ∅ǯǮǯ∞✾❈❁✤. . .
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
Never tell a secret to a pig, it may squeal.

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
RonB1
Active Ink Slinger
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went and then it dawned on me.
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
Quote by RonB1
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went and then it dawned on me.


doh! lol

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silveranode
Active Ink Slinger
In one episode of The Vicar of Dibley, Geraldine Granger, the Vicar, was contemplating a relationship with one of her handsome parishioners.

All she could do was think about it Long and Hard, All Night.
elizabethblack
Awesome Lady
Repeated often by dad:
child: That's not fair!
Dad: That's what the bus driver said when offered a wooden nickle.
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
Quote by elizabethblack
Repeated often by dad:
child: That's not fair!
Dad: That's what the bus driver said when offered a wooden nickle.



he he..



Almost heaven..
West Virginia
Blue ridge mountains...and you know the rest

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
silveranode
Active Ink Slinger
To all the Male participants, here at Lush.

Have you noticed, that as we get older, we get stronger.

When you're in the 20-30 age bracket and you get an erection,
you can't bend it.

But by the time you reach the 50-60 age bracket, you can bend your erection in half.
MyWildfire
Cheeky Rascal
What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?



Someone’s losing a trailer
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
What do you call a hippie's wife? A Mississippi!

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
Here's one for the DOTARD

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'
apptobebad
Unfuckwithable
When I was a girl, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Don't forget to sat 'Hi'