You've got your ticket but your arm's swollen like a balloon with all the injections.
I wish I could sing.
Granted, but you and every person and animal on planet are deaf and life in complete silence.
I wish I owned a living dinosaur.
Granted but it will eat you... Burp
I wish I was rich... At least till monday.
Granted but it's a velociraptor.
Edit*** granted but the tax man comes and takes most of your money and leaves you with a dollar
I wish i had a magic lamp complete with my own personal Genie
Granted but you can only walk on water for 60 seconds at a time and the water is infested with sharks
Granted.
You start your day off by checking your mail, only to find your license has expired. Next up a 4 hour wait at the DMV to attempt to get it renewed, without a road test. After that gruelling ordeal, you meet friends to play basketball, where you find out that your best mate has been ballin your woman for the last 6 months. You run off, to the local bar, to drown her memories. Six hours later and you were on a mission to confront her. Leaving the bar, you stumble to to your car, get in, back into a truck, peel out of the lot, only to see those flashing lights and hear the siren. The rest of your day is spent in a cell.
I wish for a 15 minute orgasm.
Granted but to achieve it, you have to sit in the Orgasmatron (from Woody Allen's "Sleeper") where the lock gets jammed and you're stuck inside until you end up o.d.'ing on "feelin goooooooooooood!!"
I wish I could have three hot ladies pleasuring me later on tonight.
Granted but ooopsss.. Hot ladies with Huge cocks....
I wish I could be in a beautiful beach without feeling that I'm burning through heat
Granted but its in America and is covered in snow
I wish I was on holiday
Granted but all flights grounded and you spend fortnight at airport
I wish I was sailing around Greek islands
Granted. You're going around and around and around the islands but never actually getting anywhere.
I wish I was wandering around on a Greek island.
Granted but you're being stalked by kiera. Run Seeker Run!
I wish my next business trip was cancelled
Granted, but they were stolen and you now appear to be guilty of theft.
I wish my best friend didn't have cancer.
granted - 100% recovery - but the acai/hot pockets/skittles/lard treatment has the side effect of making your friend get around everywhere Ministry of Silly Walks style.
I with I had one of those sliding fader switches to control the rain.
at night.
Granted but you get bad karma from messing with nature and come back as a minnow in your next life and have to work your way up the species chain to get another human life which takes 5000 years.
I wish the weather was warm enough to swim in the ocean now.
Granted but it was warmed up by a huge discharge of sewage so swim at your own risk.
I wish these spring snows that turn to ice on the road surfaces would stop.
granted but now spring snow falls as hail storm
I wish i was in a gang bang
Granted but now your tongue is forever stuck on your elbow
I wish the cold weather would go away!
Granted but the snow melts so quickly that the streets become rivers of mud.
I wish I could get a 10 handed massage on the shore of a warm beach which would last for 2 hours.
No way am I going to spoil that one.
I wish that the next two weeks would pass in a second.
