Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)

Donut blowjobs. If you know, any ‘hot sex tips’ from Cosmo.

Experience erectile dysfunction

Fondly remember previous partners and compare

Grab breasts desperately.

Have an asthma attack

Innocently ask, "How much?"

Join in

Knitting to pass the time - "let me know when you're finished"

Lick their eyeball

Mime milking her breasts like a cow, including sound effects (unless, of course, she has a fetish about pretending to be a cow, in which case, you're in.)

Nipple twister

Offer to deodorant her armpits

Poop the bed

Quickly put on clown shoes

Request a re-do

Say you're not in the mood.

Try to set a speed record

Urinate in the bed because you're very drunk.

Victory dance before the games begin

Wiener whipping

(I always seem to get this one)

X over your heart and say "Please, Lord. Don't let it happen again!"

You tell her ' With a bit more practice you'll make my top ten'.

zombification plans

Ask her to massage your ego.

Boys being boys

Cat pounced your dick… based on autobiographical experience.

Do a short interpretive dance expressing your feelings

Enter without permission.

Feed the fish

Go to sleep