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Who's Your Lush Valentine?

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simplyjohn
Site administrator
Quote by cooldaddy
OK John, I'll do my best to distract her and offer myself in your place. But you'll owe me.......


I wonder if a MacDonalds will cut it?


I have to say I think she is a *high maintenance gal* .. rather like KK really .. I think you had better go KFC family bucket .. pity its Valentines Day Saturday its cheaper in the week .. wait .. why dont you postpone it until Monday .. you will save £2.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by simplyjohn


I have to say I think she is a *high maintenance gal* .. rather like KK really .. I think you had better go KFC family bucket .. pity its Valentines Day Saturday its cheaper in the week .. wait .. why dont you postpone it until Monday .. you will save £2.





You fucking miser..yes yes i swore now spank me and forget all about Kitty you know its me you want stinkbomb
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Quote by kiera





You fucking miser..yes yes i swore now spank me and forget all about Kitty you know its me you want stinkbomb


I dont know how you dare call me that after the gifts I got you for Christmas .. those SB pringles cost a fortune and the earrings .. well I am still paying Argos for those until the end of this year .. 50p a month .. see .. now you know why I need to work 40 hours a week to live.

you are *high maintenance and a very very demanding hussy*

edit - perhaps CD can afford 2 family buckets and take you too .. hell he may even get a further discount when buying 2 .. bogof even .. yay.
Kittypusscat
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by simplyjohn


CD .. KPC is beginning to scare me .. omg she wants to see me naked .. can you step in and take over please?


Now just wait a minute SJ...YOU were the one who wanted me in a skimpy outfit, wanted the steak and the gorgeous pudding and promised you would last longer than 5 minutes! I am most hurt after all the trouble i have gone to. I will leave you to your burnt pizza and seek solace further north.BYskBPMgLaObAmir
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Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by simplyjohn


I dont know how you dare call me that after the gifts I got you for Christmas .. those SB pringles cost a fortune and the earrings .. well I am still paying Argos for those until the end of this year .. 50p a month .. see .. now you know why I need to work 40 hours a week to live.

you are *high maintenance and a very very demanding hussy*

edit - perhaps CD can afford 2 family buckets and take you too .. hell he may even get a further discount when buying 2 .. bogof even .. yay.


Are mods allowed to call members *hussy's* ??

Sod you all I am going up North to Kitty's house for some fine wine and dining.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Quote by kiera


Are mods allowed to call members *hussy's* ??

Sod you all I am going up North to Kitty's house for some fine wine and dining.


I take it *you* arent cooking then.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by simplyjohn


I take it *you* arent cooking then.



I am actually we are having...


ROAST SKUNK

1 skunk, scent bag removed
2 sliced carrots
1 c. clear soup
1 tsp. onion juice
Dissolve 1 chicken bouillon cube in 1 cup of hot water. Skin, clean, and remove scent bag from skunk. Parboil in salted water 15 minutes. Drain off water. Then place meat in fresh water and steam until tender, about 1 hour.
Transfer to roasting pan and put in oven at 375°F. Add 1 cup of clear soup broth, 2 sliced carrots and 1 teaspoon of onion juice. Cook, uncovered, for 2 hours.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Kittypusscat


Now just wait a minute SJ...YOU were the one who wanted me in a skimpy outfit, wanted the steak and the gorgeous pudding and promised you would last longer than 5 minutes! I am most hurt after all the trouble i have gone to. I will leave you to your burnt pizza and seek solace further north.vLT6GDFFdsvzeHyQ



How about further WEST? I even have a nice comfy place for you to sit...my face!
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Quote by kiera


I am actually we are having...


ROAST SKUNK

1 skunk, scent bag removed
2 sliced carrots
1 c. clear soup
1 tsp. onion juice
Dissolve 1 chicken bouillon cube in 1 cup of hot water. Skin, clean, and remove scent bag from skunk. Parboil in salted water 15 minutes. Drain off water. Then place meat in fresh water and steam until tender, about 1 hour.
Transfer to roasting pan and put in oven at 375°F. Add 1 cup of clear soup broth, 2 sliced carrots and 1 teaspoon of onion juice. Cook, uncovered, for 2 hours.


Can I just say that I think you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the entire world and I suspect everything you do is simply magical .. erm reprieve?
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by simplyjohn


Can I just say that I think you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the entire world and I suspect everything you do is simply magical .. erm reprieve?


Well yes I knew that already..but the truth is John the only reason Kitty was enticing you to her home was so that we could capture you for our delicious meal...It was of course all her idea not mine
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Kittypusscat
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by simplyjohn


Can I just say that I think you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the entire world and I suspect everything you do is simply magical .. erm reprieve?



Now you are chatting up another woman! Right, that does it! Kiera and CD get your steak!
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Unknown User
Oh dear, John, you've gone and ballsed it up this time! Now you've got both KK and Kitty on your case. They'll bad mouth you all over the site and you'll get a reputation for promising ladies whatever they want and then letting them down. I'll try to placate them, but my advice is to do what I do in a situation like this, - grovel. Roll over and beg, and you'll soon have them tickling your tummy. Works every time.
jollyjack
Active Ink Slinger
Roast Skunk...........just tried the recipe. I recomend a crushed garlic clove and some lemon.?
My Karma just ran over your Dogma
Kittypusscat
Active Ink Slinger
Perhaps you would like to make up a foursome Jack? You, me, KK and CD for steak and a gorgeous chocolate pudding on Saturday? My place since i am no longer needed down South with SJ (sobs!)
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Kittypusscat
Active Ink Slinger
Aww Ajax! Do you want to come for steak too?
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