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Bad Language

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Quote by Buz


I bet those gifs would've been 'praise worthy!' smile


Nice pun. I only just noticed.
Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
Exactly my point. In that particular situation it makes total sense, and sounds like something one middle school teacher might actually say to another in front of kids. You set the context to make the language believable. On the other hand, if those teachers had been alone, or had gone out for a drink after school, and still said 'fornicate' instead of 'screw' it would sound weird.


Oh yeah... if I'm out having a drink with a fellow teacher or two, I might say I'm going to screw or fuck my husband later. Really depends on the person and how comfortable I am with them.
Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know


Ha. 'Glorious' is out, unless your pole is golden and shining with heavenly light while cherubs dance around it singing in a celestial chorus.


LOL I agree in Serenes context, I cringe @ glorious pole (shudders)

But I think glorious can work IMHO by way of example, and this is off the top of my head...

As he slid the head of his cock inside her he shuddered, her tight pussy squeezes his cock along with her soft moans almost unmanned him, he felt like a teenage boy, it was glorious he couldn't ever remember being this hard or this turned on or so desperate to cum and he wasn't even close to being fully inside her.

You see who needs cherubs?

It can also suck though another example...

Let my lips behold your glorious member

Why not just say I want to suck your cock?

I think any word can be used if used correctly maybe even fornicate so long as you are writing about a nun/priest forbidden encounter, but if I was going to write that I would make it a funny one due to the fact that their sex was forbidden and they have no clue how to use dirty words. To them Fornicate is a dirty word.

Hell, I might even do that now just to see if it can be done lol A nun making confession to a priest she dreams about fornicating with. LOL if I can write an orgy with Nephilim whilst listening to Neil Diamond I can surely do this

Maybe we should all have a contest on who can write the cheesiest sex story?
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
All the words you guys say you shouldn't use, I do.OHHMqdGGqvYP6o0j

Just yesterday, I asked my son, "Have you fornicated yet?"
"No mom, I haven't did any fornicating," he replied.
"When you fornicate, will you tell me?"
"Believe me when I say," he said, looking me in the eyes, "when I fornicate you will be the only person I say 'I've fornicated' to."
"Okay," I smiled. I love that we are so open with each other.
? A True Story ?
Quote by avrgblkgrl
All the words you guys say you shouldn't use, I do.lIYWuof6NDkDwIjD

Just yesterday, I asked my son, "Have you fornicated yet?"
"No mom, I haven't did any fornicating," he replied.
"When you fornicate, will you tell me?"
"Believe me when I say," he said, looking me in the eyes, "when I fornicate you will be the only person I say 'I've fornicated' to."
"Okay," I smiled. I love that we are so open with each other.


Somehow I could see my son & I having this conversation as well. Thanks for the laugh girl!
Quote by avrgblkgrl
All the words you guys say you shouldn't use, I do.uF2Yo9w0p9aXeIa8

Just yesterday, I asked my son, "Have you fornicated yet?"
"No mom, I haven't did any fornicating," he replied.
"When you fornicate, will you tell me?"
"Believe me when I say," he said, looking me in the eyes, "when I fornicate you will be the only person I say 'I've fornicated' to."
"Okay," I smiled. I love that we are so open with each other.



ROFLMFAO

Reece age 16

Reece - Mum this girl at school wants me to have sex with her
Me - Talk to your father Reece
Reece - Dad wont wake up he said to talk to you about it
Me - Bastard
Reece - So mum what do i do she said she really wants to have sex with me it makes my co...
Me - shut up shut up shut up (Covers ears)
Me - She sounds like a slut to me ..wait here while I just go show your dad his new carving knife and tell him he is now going to have the chat with your sister about periods.

Reece - Okay mum but what do I do she makes my di....

Me - shut up shut up shut up (covers my ears)
Reece- but mum what do I do dad said...

Me - Your dads an arsehole
Reece - I know that mum but what should I do?
Me - Take a vow of celibacy
Reece- Whats Ceilbacy?
Me - a vow never to ever fornicate
Reece - what does fornicate mean?
Me - Just use these Reecey and never talk to me about this again. (throws him a pack of condoms)
Me - I am sorry for you loss
Reece - Huh
Me - I am going to kill your father
Reece - Ok thanks mum (pockets the condoms) So do you have any tips
Me - Reece dont make me use this knife on you
Reece- (runs and hides)
Me - Yeah ex husband fear me now u bastard.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
For fun, what I'd like to see is examples of some of the worst written dialogue you've come across (preferably outside of Lush, so no one's feelings get hurt).


Okay, this is inside of Lush, bit it's actually my own story that was published to the site a few days ago.

My writing is awful. And dialogue is something I struggle with, so I'd like to post an extract from my story for you all to mock. But, seriously, don't be too insulting.

The gist of the story is that I've taken a liking to my sixteen-year-old stepson and am consumed by a lust for his body when he comes to stay at my house. I try to initiate a sexual encounter with him by having a play wrestle, at which point my husband Dave -- my stepson's father -- comes home and catches us wrestling on the floor, fully clothed and grinding ourselves against one another and getting all hot under the collar.

Here goes:

Then a loud, booming voice interrupted our frolicking. “What the bloody hell’s going on here?”

Danny and I froze, our heads snapping up in direction of the voice. It was my husband, Danny’s father, Dave.

Danny and I both sprang to our feet.

Dave gasped, his eyes darting between my unbuttoned blouse and the bulge at the front of Danny’s shorts. “What on earth are you doing?” he asked, sounding astonished, a look of sheer disbelief on his face. Then, pointing a finger at Danny, he said, “Why has he got stiffy?”

Danny’s face ignited in a fierce red blush before he scampered from the room and out into the kitchen.

I saw this as an opportunity to take back the moral high ground. “You arse! You’ve gone and embarrassed the poor boy now. So what if he’s got a stiffy. There’s no need to shout it from the rooftops, is there?”

“B-b-but,” Dave stuttered, “you were at it on the floor, the pair of you, rolling around, squealing and grunting like a couple of stuck pigs, enjoying every minute of it.”

I laughed nervously. “He’s your sixteen-year-old son, Dave. Don’t be so disgusting and get your mind out the gutter before you start throwing around ridiculous accusations and make a complete fool of yourself.”

His mouth moved but no words came out. Then he caught his breath. “He was grinding himself against you. Your top was undone and he had a raging hard-on. I saw it with my own eyes. A-a-and you said ‘release the beast’. What did that mean?”

I gulped and stammered, “We were having a wrestle,” then, laughing nervously, I added, “And ‘release the beast’ is a term used in wrestling. If you were not such a boring old fuddy-duddy and watched WWE occasionally, you would know that.”

“Don’t give me that old poppycock! You never watch wrestling. And what about the erection tenting the front of his shorts? Explain that.”

Hiding behind an angry façade, I snapped. “He’s a sixteen-year-old boy, for heavens sake. Teenage boys’ todgers are up and down like a yo-yo. You should know that; you were a teenager once. Just because he had an erection, it doesn’t mean to say that I was the cause of it.”
Quote by kornslayer1
Well, he does have a point here: writing robot like dialogue isn't sexy. I don't know what other words he refers to as unsexy words. I've never used the word 'fornicate' in my stories, but (Although, it may be appropriate for historical stories) I do use an online thesaurus to make the sentences more interesting. I guess more like using 'scorching' rather than 'hot'.


This is a really good point. When writing a story, using a thesaurus to find synonyms for certain words is the best way to improve your vocabulary. It's good practice. The key is to find the most apt words for each situation, and that can be difficult.

You should post some dialogue of your own; it'll be a good learning curve for me. I'm looking for all the help I can get at the moment.
Quote by NymphWriter


Oh yeah... if I'm out having a drink with a fellow teacher or two, I might say I'm going to screw or fuck my husband later. Really depends on the person and how comfortable I am with them.


But I've read your stories! You could come up with dozens (at least) of other, more colorful ways to express that thought to them, I'm sure. Use your creativity - you know, tell them you're going to go home and play fireman and you're going to slide down his pole, or take the old hoss' out for a ride, etc. Hell, even saying you're going to play hide the salami is more creative!

This thread is great, and yeah, the "flowery" language used to describe sex, body parts, people, scents, etc can and does get a little outlandish sometimes. I sort of figure it's just a matter of people trying too hard to be different or unique, or maybe put their own personal stamp on it. I hate to be critical of people for trying too hard, so when I laugh or shake my head I don't do it publicly, at their expense, but privately. I hope people will show me the same courtesy because I feel sure I've been guilty of it as well. On the other hand, it's maybe something your true friends should tell you!

As far as using 'fornicate', I believe I did just recently. Actually I was handing a magazine to a friend of my wife's to give to her husband, and what I said was "Here, this is for Nick, Kate."

Okay, I apologize...
I think that simplicity can be the sexiest thing sometimes.
You have to be in tune with your story and do what the story needs.
It may call for flowery words, that may be the voice of a character.
But a good "fuck me" or "I'm going to fuck you" and "they fucked" can be the best thing.
?
? A True Story ?
Quote by kiera


ROFLMFAO

Reece age 16

Reece - Mum this girl at school wants me to have sex with her
Me - Talk to your father Reece
Reece - Dad wont wake up he said to talk to you about it
Me - Bastard
Reece - So mum what do i do she said she really wants to have sex with me it makes my co...
Me - shut up shut up shut up (Covers ears)
Me - She sounds like a slut to me ..wait here while I just go show your dad his new carving knife and tell him he is now going to have the chat with your sister about periods.

Reece - Okay mum but what do I do she makes my di....

Me - shut up shut up shut up (covers my ears)
Reece- but mum what do I do dad said...

Me - Your dads an arsehole
Reece - I know that mum but what should I do?
Me - Take a vow of celibacy
Reece- Whats Ceilbacy?
Me - a vow never to ever fornicate
Reece - what does fornicate mean?
Me - Just use these Reecey and never talk to me about this again. (throws him a pack of condoms)
Me - I am sorry for you loss
Reece - Huh
Me - I am going to kill your father
Reece - Ok thanks mum (pockets the condoms) So do you have any tips
Me - Reece dont make me use this knife on you
Reece- (runs and hides)
Me - Yeah ex husband fear me now u bastard.







Kiera -

This is so funny....

Xo
I think I have come up with the most words for various body parts.

I use very simple terms and have lots of fun with it.

My readers enjoy it....my haters think I'm too generic.

To each is own.

Xo
Quote by stormdog100
But I've read your stories! You could come up with dozens (at least) of other, more colorful ways to express that thought to them, I'm sure. Use your creativity - you know, tell them you're going to go home and play fireman and you're going to slide down his pole, or take the old hoss' out for a ride, etc. Hell, even saying you're going to play hide the salami is more creative!

This thread is great, and yeah, the "flowery" language used to describe sex, body parts, people, scents, etc can and does get a little outlandish sometimes. I sort of figure it's just a matter of people trying too hard to be different or unique, or maybe put their own personal stamp on it. I hate to be critical of people for trying too hard, so when I laugh or shake my head I don't do it publicly, at their expense, but privately. I hope people will show me the same courtesy because I feel sure I've been guilty of it as well. On the other hand, it's maybe something your true friends should tell you!

As far as using 'fornicate', I believe I did just recently. Actually I was handing a magazine to a friend of my wife's to give to her husband, and what I said was "Here, this is for Nick, Kate."

Okay, I apologize...


Never apologize for being awesome!

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I could come up with may more colorful metaphors for sex or other things I often I do. I have to be extra creative when I curse or swear. For example, instead of saying, "Stop shoveling the bullshit." I might say, "Stop shoveling the manure." I also have used the term, "baloney," or when I'm really frustrated I'll say, "fecal matter." Trust me, the kids figure out what I want to say, and learn new and creative ways to cuss. I do it so the kids can see that the standard fare of curse words aren't always the only choice.

Maybe being a teacher has helped me develop a good writing style. Maybe being a write has helped me become a good teacher.
I think there should be a an organized movement to popularize the word fornicate. Maybe street demonstrations with signs that say "Give FORNICATE some love".

We could organize the Fornicate Party. Come to be known as Fornicators.

Who wants to be a fornicator?
Quote by Buz
I think there should be a an organized movement to popularize the word fornicate. Maybe street demonstrations with signs that say "Give FORNICATE some love".

We could organize the Fornicate Party. Come to be known as Fornicators.

Who wants to be a fornicator?


Fuck fornication!


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===

Quote by Buz
I think there should be a an organized movement to popularize the word fornicate. Maybe street demonstrations with signs that say "Give FORNICATE some love".

We could organize the Fornicate Party. Come to be known as Fornicators.

Who wants to be a fornicator?


I fully agree Buz, we need more Fornicators among us.


I totally agree about the over complicated, stilted sort of writing but I think there is another problem of over abbreviated, over "slanged" writing so to say. some people write with the same language short cuts they would use when speaking to someone and that too is a killer for my mood- i like it when sentences are complete and make sense. my favorite kind of stories are the kind where you feel actual thought going into the wording, even into the slang and abbreviations.
GREAT THREAD!!! (Funny, yet making a valid point...)



IMO it is The Character who validates any kind of dialogue style. I write a bit of Hist-Lit-Erotica, and those characters very often speak in a frankly antiquated fashion. The STYLE of dialogue, even with modern characters, can indicate in a 'show-don't-tell' way, aspects of their personality. A certain dialogue style can almost give your character a distinct 'accent'.

AS for the over-flamboyant employ of the author's lexicon, I, myself, personally, will never in any instance utilize an extravagantly over-long word, phrase or sentence when a diminutive will suffice sufficiently.


xx SF
When it comes to dialogue, a pet peeve of mine is when writers have their characters constantly saying each other’s names. For example:

“Hello, Dave. How are you?”

“I’m good. How about you, Mary?”

“Tough day at work, Dave.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mary. Let me help take your mind off things.”

“I’d like that, Dave.”

“Come on, Mary. Let’s go upstairs.”

“Lead the way, Dave.”

No one talks like that! You can chat with someone for hours without saying the other person’s name, so I cannot understand why so many writers seem to forget this when writing dialogue. Establishing a character’s name is fine, but constant parroting is highly irritating.
Okay some very valid points and ideas here. As an aspiring writer here on Lush, it's cool to sit and read these comments. I know I've struggled with dialoguing in my stories, well honestly the moderators slammed me pretty hard at the begining. I've read stories by a lot of you that are commenting here. it's intersting to here your thoughts.

R_R