I hope this is the proper place to post this. If not, so sorry.
I - like so many of us here on Lush as authors want to improve on our writing skills. I mean, we want to get better, right? At least I know I do, so my question is this…
When I first started out on Lush, I used to use italics for speaking parts in my stories, and then it wasn't acceptable. At first I didn't like it, however now I look back at my old stories and it kind of irritates me. (I plan on fixing them all.)
I also used to do my speaking parts in lines such as
“Mm, I love when you submit to me, you filthy wee fucker.”
“Oh Mistress, you make this sub the happiest when you talk to me like that.”
“I know what you like; it’s why I own you.”
However when I read proper books, I notice they don’t speak like that. It’s in paragraphs. Such as…
“Mm, I love when you submit to me, you filthy wee fucker,” I coo softly, pulling your hair slightly. “Oh Mistress, you make this sub the happiest when you talk like that.” You whimper, looking up at me. “I know what you like; it’s why I own you,” smiling, I kiss your lips.
And, so I started writing my stories like this. I actually sort of like the second way. Some might say it looks ‘to busy’ so I’m wondering, which is actually the proper Lush way? Or does it even matter? Is it at the author’s discretion?
I haven’t had any stories fail because of this, but I do want to know what the mods think. I also would like to know what everyone thinks, to which they might like better, and which is easier to read.
I hope I can get some answers, I’m rather curious to know what everyone thinks.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
I'm pretty sure it's at the author's discretion. Writing tact can be so subjective sometimes. Some people type in quotes when someone is thinking something in their heads and not out loud, while others may convey the same thing by italicizing. I say do what feels natural for you. There's really no right or wrong way when it comes to things like this. Some ways may be more popular or utilized more often, but that doesn't make it right or wrong, per se.
"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Just my two cents worth, but when you combine two characters talking in the same paragraph, it can easily confuse the reader as to who is saying what, hence the breaking up of character's dialogues into paragraphs for each person speaking. While grammatically there may be nothing wrong, there are principles of rhetoric designed to make it easier to communicate clearly to people other than the original writer.
This is a very interesting post.
The key thing is that the reader knows what is going on without thinking about it. You want them to access the story, be immersed by it, not flicking back and forth trying to figure out who said what or who did what. For example, if you're writing a lesbian scene, you can't use 'she said' for extended conversations. However, if you give your characters distinctive voices / behaviour, you can dispense with almost all indications of blah said / did this as it becomes obvious to the reader without conscious thought.
Reading on a screen is much more difficult for the eye than reading a book or a magazine. I deliberately write shorter, choppier paragraphs when I know that it's going to be read on a screen.
Italics can be effective for 'zooming inside the thoughts' of a character during the action.
I suppose if you wrote stories the way James Joyce did you'd get banned on Lush. Not sure how Oscar Wilde would have viewed Joyce's stuff.
Formatting is EVERYThing.
The written word is only suggestive by it's content. Formatting puts in the
OOOh, and Aaah, and Hey! and Whoa! that voice inflection
brings
to
bear.
That being said, probably unnecessarily so, with all you 'Lush smarties', but on to the specific question - All must be viewed from the eye of the reader. Formatting should bring together things that should be conceptualized or imaged as belonging together, and make clear distinctions where they are appropriate. In our own minds we are the ones who conjoin what otherwise would be unconnected. We must realize that we are totally submissive in relation to the mind of the reader, and can't dominate.
As a writer, you plunge into the mind of the reader and by the suggestion of YOUR ideas, spoon feed pr-established relationships. If your ideas are scattered, no amount of formatting will help. If your ideas (in your verse) are poorly organized - then the reader can't see in them the relationships that you would like to convey.
So - if the conversation interaction reveals by the words the "back and forth", dividing with paragraphs can make it choppier than you may like. If the reader is lost without the separation, then divide.
Also for example, an argument would be better served by used of paragraphs, where each voice is a slap against the other (pure poetry - Aaaaaaagh, more coffee). When you Use Italics, Bold (or parenthesis) you can bring a certain amount of emphasis or separation, without going to a new paragraph.
Formatting is an art form in itself!
Standard convention is that, in fiction, there should not be two quotes from two different characters in the same paragraph, which means that when a different person starts speaking, it should always start a new paragraph. So, \"How much do you want it," she teased. "Very much please," he begged.\ is incorrect, and, in my opinion, confusing. It should be spaced:
"How much do you want it?" she teased.
"Very much please," he begged.
Since it's difficult to indent on the internet, I like to put a new line between line breaks, like this:
"How much do you want it?" she teased.
"Very much please," he begged.
I think more white space makes it easier to read and less confusing.
It's a good job I'm not a mod any more! I completely missed two speakers in the same paragraph, and only saw the additional detail. I'm blaming the heat and Stupid-Customers-At-Work Syndrome. 
