Any single or married ladies out their - - Does seducing a married man get you off, knowing that he is wanting you more and risking a lot to be pleasured by you and to pleasure you? Is that part of your turn on??
Not at all. I would find it awkward if I'd really fancy a married guy.
I do like to tease/ flirt a bit, but thats not leading to anything.
No! It would be entirely wrong to presume that the married man and their other half have the same set of morals as my own. I'd never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings, including the wife of the man, despite perhaps never meeting her.
Kind of. I have slept on a number of times with a married man (the same one) and it has always had a sense of adventure to it.
No. Even if I didn't know his wife, I would feel like I had betrayed her also.
Hmmm... Interesting than that it seems such a popular topic in the stories... Thanks for your thoughts!
Not at all. I do not believe in cheating in any form.
can i add this..your page says you are having an affair..which might i assume that you are married?
are you hoping us women will be like hell yes and jump on you??
do not confuse sexuality with cheating
one can adore sex..be a freak in bed and be totally faithful...
in my opinion lush was a place to be open about sex and to enjoy a fantasy...in writing..to capture a community who embrace all things sexual..not cheating...
faithfulness from a man is HIS most sexy and endearing quality...
a cheating man is one who just cannot decide whether to piss or get off..the pot...
and yes this is a bitchy response...cheating spouses just really irk me
so..please understand where this post comes from
I am married myself, and talk to a few married men on here. I have even grown to become good friends with one. There has been innocent flirting, but that is as far as it has, and will go.
When married, fantasies that would take place outside of your marriage should be kept just that. A fantasy.
I love my husband, and would never do anything to betray him.
I think one of the most admirable things about a man is him being faithful to his wife.
blazestcyr, Interesting post, but a bit off the mark on me - must have wrote something between the lines I guess, lol. As you noted, Lush is to be a community open about sex, so didn't expect to get kind of blasted for my question.
I am just trying to sort some things out personally - why I am feeling and thinking of certain things. My affair is in online conversation only and I do want it to stop and go no further. This site is loaded with stories of spouses and couples cheating (searching "cheating" comes as a keyword 686 times), so I am trying to learn why. Why is it so good to get written about so much? Clearly others enjoy cheating or the topic enough to write about it!
I am not looking to get jumped on by any woman. You mentioned not confusing cheating and sexuality, but I think you've done so more than I. Or maybe confused being turned on with sexuality. I simply wondered if the marriage aspect, the taboo or betrayal nature of it, is part of the turn on for others and driver of the sex and attraction for others. From a fantasy standpoint, yes, I like the idea of a married woman being so attracted to me and turned on by me that she would take that step. Personally however, I am not interested in me cheating - I know, a double standard and it wouldn't ever happen with out both cheating anyway... I felt that the chatting I have done was enough to warrant the "cheating" status on profile... will change I guess.
I appreciate your thoughts, its why I asked the question.
I agree... no need to blast anyone, and it seems to be a pattern... not cool. And I will leave it at that.
I think what you haven't really got into your mind here is that the idea of shacking up with a married man IS kind of hot...there's an element of danger and naughtiness. But the reality of doing it is very different.
It's a bit like incest being so popular...I doubt everyone who finds reading erotica about incest wants to go out and bang their siblings.
I have slept with a few married men when I was generally an immature slutbag.. and it wasn't worth my while. In one case I got into shit with the wife who found out, in another I can only assume the reason his wife wasn't giving him any was because he was so CRAP in bed...and, for the most part, these men are needy as hell. It's all 'woe is me, my wife won't suck me off or ride me, you're pretty....can I fuck you now and again and text you all freaking day regardless of whether you reply or not '.
Things that are NOT attractive about having sex with married men:
1) They can be very needy
2) You can get into shit with the wife (or if you have mutual friends/connections with those too - if they find out)
3) Chances are you're not the only person they've slept with since they were last given the STI 'all clear' by their doctor
4) You're going behind a fellow woman's back. I wouldn't like someone to try it on with my husband (if some fool agrees to settle down with me)
To conclude: yes, the element of danger is hot. But...the other stuff weighs in in such a way that it doesn't make it a valid thing to be doing.
This said, I have no freaking will power and will no doubt shag another married man some day...but I'll try not to.
I write about cheating. Often. Like - if you look closely you'll probably find it in about 80% of my writing portfolio in one form or another (more so cheating in relationships though, less about married people). I write about it because it's something almost everyone can identify with at some point in life - if not the actual cheating, then the idea of it even as a passing opportunity in relationships we've been in. It's illicit, it's forbidden, and the conflict of "should I or shouldn't I" makes for a great story. Monogamy isn't the most natural state for human beings and I think the most recent study I saw said that over 60% of people would cheat if it was guaranteed they would never get caught. In fact, I think that stat is on the conservative side. Cheating fantasies are rampant (and pretty normal) so they make for great stories as far as I'm concerned.
The reality of it is a lot messier, of course, especially when feelings get involved and it's not just for the hot sex aspect. I've worn every shoe - the girl who cheated (although only once in my lifetime of committed relationships), I've been cheated on, I've been with a couple of guys with girlfriends/wives. I'm not proud of the latter - it was when I was around 20 yrs and naive and reckless - and yes, I probably did buy into the whole "ooh, this is so wrong, it's exciting" thing you mentioned in your original post. I never have (and never would) touch a married man where kids were involved because that's just a whole other tragedy that kids don't need to deal with if/when dad gets caught.
Overall, I don't romanticize the idea of it or think it's particularly shocking in most real world situations though. I think I've seen enough cheating around me to have sufficiently dulled my senses to it. Just go out to an after-work bar on a wednesday or thursday night and watch all the guys standing with their left hand in their suit or jeans pocket or openly entertaining their mistresses before they head home for family time on the weekends. Pretty standard stuff. Plus it's hard to glorify the idea or novelty of luring a married guy. If you're offering sex and fun, a horny guy is pretty easy to lure, whether he's married or single. It's no great accomplishment or sexual coup.
I know people cheat and I'm not going to judge someone's individual circumstances - everyone has their own perspective on it. As I've said, a lot of the time, monogamy and marriage is a bit of an illusion. It's up to individual choice if you're brave enough to buy into that and how you'll handle temptations down the road. I'm a bit of a commitment phobe, partly for these reasons. But as far as fantasies and stories go - sure, it's hot. More so because of the illicit sex aspect though - not the ego stroke of getting some other girl's man.
Thanks to all. Pretty much supporting my thoughts on the fantasy being more than the reality.
yes, it is. Enticing like a forbidden fruit but a double edged sword. It can make u feel powerful but at the same time also come and whack you in butt because of the consequences.
I have to confess that yes, I do find it a challenge and a turn on. At the same time I also realise that this is a weakness in me and is not a good thing, I am not at all proud of it. I have had several affairs and I admit to having enjoyed the man (or woman) involved and also enjoying the forbidden side of it. Lastly, and this is awful, I have also enjoyed the feeling of power over deceiving their partner. Damn this is awful.
