lol well at least chat 
Quote by crazydiamond
This is massive, I don't think every one needs to be considered, but many should, it may help: The Rules of a Gentleman
Quote by Dancing_Doll
Just reading this list made me feel kind of relationship-claustrophobic.
I think for me, all the good graces of a Gentleman tend to boil down to treating someone with respect - but without losing the fun.
Quote by crazydiamond
Oh no doubt!, I agree, but he wanted a thorough list.
All people have a different idea of what a gentleman is, this covers everyone at some point, though as I stated in the post, not all them need consideration by any means.
Quote by Dancing_Doll
It was a great list!
I've always liked the general concept of a 'gentleman' and the basic tenets behind it. I think taken to an extreme, it can become more of the white knight 'put the girl on a pedestal and worship/adore her' which could be many a girl's ideal man, but I'm very egalitarian when it comes to the underlying power dynamic in relationships so having a guy go full tilt with being a 'gentleman' would make me feel smothered and possibly like I'd accidentally waded into a Harlequin romance novel.
Quote by crazydiamond
This is massive, I don't think every one needs to be considered, but many should, it may help: The Rules of a Gentleman
Quote by Dancing_Doll
It was a great list!
I've always liked the general concept of a 'gentleman' and the basic tenets behind it. I think taken to an extreme, it can become more of the white knight 'put the girl on a pedestal and worship/adore her' which could be many a girl's ideal man, but I'm very egalitarian when it comes to the underlying power dynamic in relationships so having a guy go full tilt with being a 'gentleman' would make me feel smothered and possibly like I'd accidentally waded into a Harlequin romance novel.
Quote by Emerys
I am a major romantic, but that list goes so far beyond what I'd consider ideal. I actually thought it was a little creepy. There were a lot of really awesome points, but there were probably just as many that were trite and, honestly, kind of ridiculous. I'd personally feel smothered if someone were to constantly fall on me hand and foot and treat me like a delicate little flower who needed to be sheltered and protected and pampered at all costs.
I think a huge part of being a "gentleman" is understanding how to balance one's desire to be a caring and attentive partner while respecting the fact that one's partner is an independent person capable of taking care of/making decisions for themselves.
Quote by ThatStoryGuy
It's great to get some feedback on it all.
I asked simply so I could see what the modern day gentleman should adhere to without seeming, as put by dancing doll, as smothering. Gone are the days where a large sword, although arguments can be made it is simply called something else now, and a suit of shiny armor would sway a lady into your arms. Got to say though in the list diamond supplied the biggest thing that confused me was "No.31 Call her babe". There was me thinking it objectified women and made you seem stereotypical macho man.
Then again, at my inexperienced age, what do I know?
Quote by crazydiamond
I agree, but, don't be to surprised! There's always someone who wants a piggy back ride! hahahaha
Quote by Emerys
Basically, I think some girl(s) ... saw Twilight too many times
Quote by Dancing_Doll
Quote by Dancing_Doll
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
somebody who treats you as an equal, not better, not worse; someone who respects you and respects themself, and expects the same from you. it's really that simple. the other bits, the window dressing, are all a result of those basic tenants.
Quote by yourmisterdark
Well said, sprite. The concept of the gentleman descends from the orders of knights and the various explications and iterations of courtly love (aka romance) down through the esquiries of Beau Brummel's time. You will find, however, as with all human social behavior dichotomies, such as the famous "Southern Gentlemen" who none the less for manners and decorum still beat women and had sex with slaves while professing a code of honor. And it is in both grooming and honor that we find many of the ideals of modern gentility.
A gentleman is indeed one who knows and behaves within the practices of social etiquette -- which means he is comfortable and able to "fit in" in any social milieu from high to low. He will wear the best and most fashionable clothing, though there is such a thing as "shabby gentiiy" like the Russian noble exiles in France and the bohemian artistes of Paris, who, though poor, retained a semblance of rough grooming and romantic notions. While a gentleman is not always gentle, he is duty and honor bound to defend the defenseless, women, children, the less fortunate from abuse He will also defend his ideals of ethical practice and chastise the lazy and "shiftless", the willfully ignorant, the pretender, and the shallow. He is, by nature or schooling, cultured and sophisticated, not narrow-minded and prejudicial. If he is judgmental, it is by taste, not blind following or antiquated code. While he may not himself practice The Arts, he appreciates them in others. A gentleman is aware of his surroundings and other people, yet some feel he holds himself aloof from imitating the baser behaviors and instead aspires, at least, to the highest ideals of human civilization and social manners. He will be respectful and polite in all situations, but push his buttons too hard and he will easily kick your ass to hell and back, for a gentleman is usually also well-schooled in the more martial arts without being either pugnacious nor a bully. In fact, see above, bullies and cowards are often the target for his anger in relation to his code of honor and defense of the defenseless.
A gentleman is supremely confidant because of his self-built knowledge and experience, his self-control, and his respect for himself and others who deserve or earn his respect. As sprite says much of a gentleman's outward expression is window dressing, but it's based on a good sense of design and social fashion. He is the opposite of the brute, "white trash", mob-thinker. He is the descendant of the Spanish hidalgo, the courtier, the officer and a gentleman, the English squire. And people know him when they see him and know him as "a gentleman."
Quote by crazydiamond
This is massive, I don't think every one needs to be considered, but many should, it may help: The Rules of a Gentleman
Quote by yourmisterdark
The replies are most interesting and certainly serve to separate the alleged "classes" of society.
Quote by PersonalAssistant
Interesting thread.
I have found that a true gentlemen does not have to advertise that they are respectful, nor do they need to implore they have manners.
True gentlemen are found in all walks of life, all ages, any profession and any status. They wear jeans, or board shorts, some wear suits, others wear uniforms. It's not how a man looks, but how a man treat another person .... regardless of gender or age or status. A true gentleman in my books has compassion, empathy and a sense of his own worth (not selfish, nor conceited, nor arrogant) that he wants to share with you and others.
