Quote by CupcakemountainWhy?
Why do guys jack off??
I mean, come on guys, i just don't get it!
Because the alternatives are either not available or not worth the cost.
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1ball
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 68
United States
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Quote by one_winged_angel
From reading Lisa's post, you conveniently left out the fact that the character was drugged which is a direct violation of the rules. Considering the fact that you were privately discussing this with a senior moderator, I don't see the need to continue this discussion with people who don't know the facts about your story. After your situation is resolved, if there is a change in the guidelines, I'd be happy to read that, but for now, I think you'd be better off discussing this with someone who has full knowledge of all the details of your story as well as a concrete knowledge of the guidelines so that there are no misunderstandings.
I suppose I could have had her teleported in from a starship or stung by a giant spider and hauled in by orcs. Neither are excluded by the guidelines, but apparently my mistake here is that I thought the whole issue of non-consensual sex mattered. I've been corrected now. The discussion with the senior moderator was pretty much over when the only way to get the character to the room without totally trashing the story was to convince her to come there, which pretty much totally took the fun out of writing it.
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Quote by one_winged_angel
I don't see how the rule is squishy. I didn't read your story, so I don't know the details of what you're talking about, but if you felt that your story wasn't handled as it should have been, you're always free to contact the verifier who read it, we're all reasonable people. If it really is passable, it would probably be re-read.
Also, the guidelines are there for a reason, I don't see the need for any of the things which we don't allow to be in stories. Speaking for myself, kidnapping is not a turn on.
What you're telling me is that the fact that the character was not molested and not forced to have sex doesn't matter. Any story where a character is rendered helpless, however temporarily and harmlessly, is forbidden. Should we throw out any plot where a character is arrested by police or rescued from a cult by deprogrammers or simply forced to show up where they will be given an important choice?
I contacted the verifiers. I wanted the main character to wake up in a serious jam with no foreknowledge of how she got there. To then be given a choice to cooperate or leave from a situation where there would be no , no molestation, no physical damage and no sex with another person. Shot down.
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Quote by one_winged_angel
As for mind control, we allow stories involving people taking drugs etc, however, anything that would affect how a character normally behaves and is administered or caused by something/someone else (e.g mind control/hypnosis) isn't allowed. This applies to situations both involving and leading up to the sex.
Can that possibly be any squishier? I wrote a story within the guidelines and it seemed to me the guidelines were ignored and the story was excluded. There was no non-consensual sex. The only consensual sex for that character, after being 'taken' prior to giving consent and then given the freedom to leave, was masturbation by the character. She was undressed but also unmolested. I can't speak for other writers, but I'm not going to get my stories blessed before they're written. I'm going to try to write to the guidelines, but I'm not going to write boring crap just because a guideline might be ignored and a story might arbitrarily be excluded because it got too close to the edge.
Active Ink Slinger
I was just required to gut a story twice where a person who was abducted in the first iteration and hypnotized in the second was disallowed even though no non-consensual sex occurred. I thought I stayed within the guidelines by leaving that character untouched, but that turned out not to be the case.
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The story editor does not allow you to remove a rejected story from a contest. I had to copy it out, and resubmit it without checking the checkbox. I would have preferred to simply uncheck it. I apologize for the extra verifier work that created, but I decided that I didn't want to submit a sanitized story to a contest and wasn't given another option besides delete it.
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Quote by overmykneenow
OK, you're 19 so let's go easy and assume you're still developing a sense of yourself and understanding for what motivates others. I note from a previous forum post that up to at least May this year you were still a virgin (which is fine) but even if that has changed in the months since it still indicates a naivety to sexual relations and expectations. I also see you work as a mechanic, which I'm sure is a hotbed of sage advice on how to be a gentleman to young women. let's replace the word bitch with "confident independent woman" and see how your points hold up.
I'm not going to defend lifeafterdeath's use of "bitch", but since "a confident independent woman" is not synonymous with a woman who will routinely do many of the acts that he objected to, let's replace "confident independent woman" with "undesirable partner" and see if it holds up.
lifeafterdeath implied:
An undesirable partner will flirt with any guy as long as he has money, a car and a dick.
An undesirable partner will wear extra skimpy clothes to the supermarket.
An undesirable partner will lose interest in your views and everything you stand for 10 seconds after you open your mouth.
An undesirable partner will never call you, but demands that you call her.
If she has too many men as her friends. That's an undesirable partner.
If she drinks with all of her guy friends while fully knowing that she is the only female there and she's going to stay because she's getting free taquila shots, one after the other........ an undesirable partner.
If she has children and leaves them at home with the baby daddy to go out and have fun with her girlfriends all night long, every Friday. That's an undesirable partner.
If she lost her virginity at the age of XX and had multiple (20+) sexual partners till you met her, that's an undesirable partner.
Okay, except for what I've placed in bold, I can probably agree with that. Wearing skimpy clothes in public is attention seeking behavior and if women (or men) were excluded from being partners for that, there wouldn't be many left to choose from. And as to many male friends and multiple past partners, who cares? Those might be signs of immaturity, but they aren't necessarily. But let's continue.
lifeafterdeath implied:
Now that we have identified an undesirable partner, we must now learn to avoid the undesirable partner, and for that you'd have to BURROW TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, OR MOVE TO THE MOON and even then you'll run into the motherfuckers.
As soon as you land on the moon an undesirable partner will run up to you and ask for a ride home, 20,000 light years away.
Undesirable partners are everywhere, you cannot escape them.
Can't argue with most of that. Would love to visit the Moon. You can escape parasites if you can learn to identify them. So let's continue on to the advice section.
lifeafterdeath advised:
But there are things you can do to minimize your encounters with them.
1) Do not look for a potential date in a bar.
That might be good advice in general.
2) Do not tell them how much money you make. In fact, dont tell them what you do for a living. Make them guess and keep laughing, but never actually tell them. Keep making them guess, even if they're right.
This is unnecessary if you've learned how to separate the parasites from those who just want a stable partner. You can't blame a partner for wanting you to be as financially stable as they are.
3) Do not wear your cover-alls outside of the jobsite. Apparently, to undesirable partners, coveralls=money.
Still unnecessary.
4) Do not call them after the 2nd date (if you reach that far) An undesirable partner will never call. A lady will be concerned.
It might be good to establish some parity and some trust. I'm not sure if this is a good way to do it. Honest conversation would be more... well, honest.
5) Always go to simple places for dates. And try to keep away from those cliche bullshit movie scenes like going to the movies, or going to a park or something. Make the shit memorable. If she insists that she wants lobster for dinner, drive her to the restaurant. When she gets out of the car, drive away. It's that simple.
Good advice about simple places for early dates, but I like lobster. If she's a parasite, that should be obvious before going to a place that serves lobster.
6) In the unfortunate event that you do accidentally hit on an undesirable partner or if you just want a good one night stand, act like a fucking pimp. Treat them like garbage and buy them a vodka cranberry or something.
I'm not sure if I could do a good pimp act.
So to sum it up, lifeafterdeath laid out criteria for selecting a potential partner, pointed out how difficult it is to find one, and gave some mediocre advice about how to avoid the wrong ones and how to mess with them if you feel like it. Some people object to the use of the word "bitch", but they probably have similar words for guys who are undesirable partners, especially if they're in the age range where they're still encountering more chaff than wheat.
So back to the original poor guy who gave up on women. Maybe he was a "nice guy" who got involved with women who wanted a "bad boy". That could lead to the problems mentioned, due to unrealistic expectations on both sides of the relationships. And now he's been damaged and become intolerant. He might be salvageable by someone with the skills, but he might not be worth the effort. Many people won't put forth the effort to overcome trust issues, but trust is not something that members of either gender are entitled to. It can be earned, and the rewards of earning it can be worthwhile, but a thirty-six year old guy might need to wait until there are more women with lower standards in the dating scene before he'll find someone willing to make the effort. In the meantime, he might be doing what's best for him.
Active Ink Slinger
I've met some older men who've "sworn off women" but what they really mean is they won't try to have a committed relationship. They'll either "rent" or find women who aren't looking for a commitment or they'll drink. For a guy in his thirties to have given up, I'm guessing the past breakups were really bad. Some guys just have a very low tolerance for what it means to be in a relationship and others just give up because the set of women who can tolerate them doesn't intersect with the set of women they find attractive.
Active Ink Slinger
If I see something intriguing in a profile and the person seems to be inviting, I'll introduce myself with a friend request and invite them to read my profile before deciding. I don't know if that's what you mean by random, but since I don't chat, that's my substitute.
Active Ink Slinger
I was just reading the other day about how women used to have visits by doctors who gave them "hysterical paroxysms" by rubbing their clits for (sometimes) hours. That must have been some serious repression.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria
By the 20th century, the spread of home electricity brought the vibrator to the consumer market. The appeal of cheaper treatment in the privacy of one’s own home understandably made the vibrator a popular early home appliance. In fact, the electric home vibrator was on the market before many other home appliance ’essentials’: nine years before the electric vacuum cleaner and 10 years before the electric iron.[1] A page from a Sears catalog of home electrical appliances from 1918 includes a portable vibrator with attachments, billed as ”Very useful and satisfactory for home service.”[1]
Who knew?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria
By the 20th century, the spread of home electricity brought the vibrator to the consumer market. The appeal of cheaper treatment in the privacy of one’s own home understandably made the vibrator a popular early home appliance. In fact, the electric home vibrator was on the market before many other home appliance ’essentials’: nine years before the electric vacuum cleaner and 10 years before the electric iron.[1] A page from a Sears catalog of home electrical appliances from 1918 includes a portable vibrator with attachments, billed as ”Very useful and satisfactory for home service.”[1]
Who knew?
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by westside5
I tried searching for this topic and could not find on, but i was wandering if it is ok to ask a girl out that you have not seen in a few months,
Sure, why not?
"Hi, I've been thinking about you. Are you seeing anyone?"
"No"
"Yawanna?"
and was also wandering how long to wait before asking a girl out that just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years.
It's best to wait until she's done crying. A couple of hours ought to do it. Seriously, that's entirely dependent on the circumstances of why they broke up. She might hate all men for the rest of her life or she might have been looking for a better guy before the breakup. Wait too long and some other guy might get in ahead of you and leave her all bitter and even harder to entice later.
Active Ink Slinger
A condom will desensitize him. Two will work even better. Too much desensitization might cause him to lose his erection. There's all sorts of tricks he can do, but most of them reduce the quality of his experience, because he can't focus on you or the pleasure you're giving him. You should know that most women don't come from just intercourse. Additional clitoral stimulation is a good idea, not to make him last longer, but so you come sooner.
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Quote by tampmark122
QUESTION ...Is having cyber or phone sex with a stranger , cheating ???
This question is asked a lot. If you don't have permission, if you don't want your SO to know you did it and/or you would feel it was cheating if they did it, then it's cheating.
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I just read your latest story SWW2012 and my criticism is that I feel cheated when I read a "you" story. Maybe that's just me. Some people seem to like them, but they don't do anything for me and it seems like taking the easy road instead of performing up to your potential.
Active Ink Slinger
My advice would be to make sure they know you have this condition, so they can do research and learn what they're getting into. Some women shy away from any complicating factors in a relationship, and some just wouldn't understand that acting not normal is a condition and not a choice, but some would not mind having to have the patience that it takes to deal with HFA, as long as they can discriminate when some behavior is or isn't attributable to the HFA.