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BelleduJour
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 56
Canada

Forum

Quote by ColletteXx
Just cos a guy has a big 'package' doesn't necessarily mean he knows how to use it.


You got that right!
There is a big difference between loving someone and being in love. I think it is absolutely possible that you can continue to love someone you were once in love with long after its over. If you parted amicably and/or managed to make peace with the past, why not? I spent 20 years with my ex husband and even though we had our issues that ultimately killed our happily-ever-after, we still love one another and care for each other as friends but are NOT in love any longer.

Its hard to say goodbye to someone you were deeply in love with even if you knew it had no chance of surviving. As long at doesn't inhibit you from being open to love again, I don't see a problem with it.
Quote by MasterJonathan
It's a crying shame that this had to be posted! Whatever happened to manners and courtesy? When someone talks to you (whether it's a man or a woman) the proper thing to do is look at them as if they were a person and not a piece of meat!

As far as I am concerned I always look and listen to what a woman says to Me - and pay attention too! It's not just polite but a shows you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.




It is a crying shame indeed. Having jumped back in the dating pool about 5 years ago after been married for 20 years, I have to say that communication - a healthy balance of listening and talking, feels like a dying art no matter what the gender or age. I'm always taken by men (and women) who show genuine interest in connecting with me. It makes them infinitely more attractive.
When I'm spending time with my partner and sex is inevitable, I always go the extra mile and get professionally waxed/sugared so I'm completely bare. It just feels and is cleaner/fresher. In between visits with him, I maintain myself by shaving what I can but at some point I have to let it grow out a bit if I want another clean wax. Unless your partner enjoys a furry or stubbly bush, there is a fair amount of planning that goes into it smile
I will admit to finding them interesting but that's about the extent of it. I'm much more fascinated by those that seem live and die by them. I find that to be very entertaining.
If you're asking about stand-up comedians, I'd have to say Kathy Griffin, Amy Schumer and Debra DiGiovanni come mind straight away.
Quote by Marinepilot
Jay, not to sound harsh, but you are 23 years old (according to your profile) so be a man and tell your parents. Without any details about your relationship with them that is the best advice I have for you.

Until you talk to them, you are not going to know their feelings on the issue.



My thoughts exactly. Meeting online is not unusual these days and having old fashioned parents doesn't change that fact. You're an adult and if you're confident that she's "the one" then what are you waiting for? If they don't approve, will you break up with her? If not, then man up and bite the bullet already.

I too am in a long distance relationship with a man 13 years younger I met on here no less so I understand the challenges that come with telling friends and family as well as trying to make it work that includes making time to be together as often as possible (vacations, long weekends etc,). If you both want it badly enough, you'll find a way to make it work and you won't give a shit what others think about it.

It's YOUR life and YOUR happiness. Embrace it.
No thank you but I have known people who have and it rarely went according to their wildest fantasies.
I know the book VERY well as it was recommended to me when my ex husband and I were in counselling to help us better understand each other. I think there is some merit to it but like everything in life, it only works if you work it. Realizing what love language you are can be a wonderful tool in becoming more self-aware which is always a good thing in my books. At the same time, it goes both ways. I think it's equally as important to know your partner's love language too. That doesn't mean you HAVE to have the same love language (oh how lovely that would be!) but if you have different ones, you will have to do the things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated just as you wish them to do for you if there is any chance for success.

My love language is Physical Touch and my ex hubby's was Acts of Service. My ex used to DO things for me like take out the trash, wash my car, empty the dishwasher, change the oil in my car etc., all acts that in HIS mind, showed me he loved me when I saw those things as just part of his husbandry duties. Meanwhile, I was aching for intimacy and physical and appropriate touch to let me know he loved me.

On the flip side, he used to get very upset with me when I didn't reciprocate on the "acts of service" which at the time, I didn't understand WHY he got so bent out of shape about that stuff. Now I know. We were going at it all the wrong way. Even after we figured out our respective love languages, it meant nothing if we didn't act on them and put that knowledge to work. That alone can be a huge challenge if it's not something that comes naturally to you. Perhaps that's why they say a relationship is "work".

I'm now divorced from my husband so that should give you some indication of how well the exercise went over. Moral of the story? You BOTH have to want it and work at it.

Regardless, I think it's a great book and have loaned it out to countless friends over the years.
Hmm it's a good question and thought provoking.

I think when it comes to relationships, wanting someone in your life is much healthier that needing someone. Needing denotes dependence. In most cases, dependence in adults is not only not healthy but not very attractive. Just because a person needs you doesn't necessarily mean they care about you or even love you. They may NEED you because you take care of them financially, sexually or do other things for them that enhance THEIR life. Feels more selfish. However, when someone WANTS you most of the time it is because they truly care about you and may even love you for YOU and not only for what you can do for them. It's a choice they're making rather than just an itch that needs scratching.

Hearing that someone WANTS me is WAY more of a turn on than telling me he needs me.
Some of us just aren't as motivated by money as others no matter what the deal.
I don't know if there is such a thing as "perfect" anything never mind cock size. For me, I'm happy with whatever my current partner was born with be it small, medium or large. I'd make it work and make his package my new "perfect" size because it's more about the MAN attached to the penis than it is about his cock size for me.
The "flag pole has a bit of a problem reaching full staff" isn't reserved just for the old unfortunately :P

I am in full agreement that the mind is the biggest sex organ particularly for women. I haven't been with men much older than myself (4-5 years old max) but have been with men around my age or younger who still had issues getting it up for one reason or another.

I would say I'd be more inclined to go with option #4 BUT at the same time, I am a woman that thoroughly enjoys and gets tremendous pleasure giving pleasure and basking in my partner's arousal as well as engaging in deep penetration. It would be fine initially but I know that it would become an issue for me if I couldn't experience the other half of this equation.
Thank you for the responses and I'm glad to hear that, like me, it's got more to do with the man attached to the penis than what his penis looks like. Having said that, I'm still interested in hearing from those women who have responded on other similar posts on the subject of cut vs uncut where they've said they ONLY liked cut men. I'm curious to know how big of a deal this is to them.
For me, spanking my pussy does not bring me to orgasm alone. However, I will admit to engaging in such activity with my partner on occasion (not something we do every time we have sex). Usually it's done whilst in the middle of passionate lovemaking to further stimulate myself or sometimes it's to stop myself from cumming to soon - timing of spanking myself is kinda critical because it could go either way. And other times, I have also done it right after I orgasm when I'm super sensitive - it just adds another layer to my release.
Quote by Nikki703


I voted Neither.

I guess I agree with Steph. I really am not crazy about either but MILF is more of a playful term to me I really hate the term Cougar. To me it implies an older more desperate woman trying to hold on to her youth by preying on naïve young men. Very derogatory in my eyes. Makes me think of someone like Kris Kardashian!


And I also agree with Steph regarding her comment about "cougar" being too predatory. I'm neither desperate nor predatory just open to all possibilities if I feel there is a connection.
Again, it's just another way to enjoy each other and spice things up so YES!!! It's especially delicious if it's an impromptu encounter for whatever the reason ;)
I really don't think I'd have a problem with it since I'm more about the man and his character than just his bits and pieces HOWEVER, as dpw confessed, I would prefer that he give me some warning before hand so we both can avoid a possible awkward moment.
Absolutely!!!! I have never enjoyed the feeling of condoms BUT they are a NECESSARY evil until you're monogamous. Stay safe.
I would see BOTH scenarios as painful betrayals and both would constitute as deal breakers in my reality. I think slipperywhenwet did a fabulous job at articulating precisely how I'd feel about each scenario as both ultimately indicate he is no longer worthy of commitment and faithfulness. Two pretty important and significant attributes necessary for monogamous relationships.

BUT for the sake of this thread, if I HAD to choose which scenario I MIGHT forgive, I think the first scenario would be it for many of the same reasons already discussed. I am one of those women that feels that an emotional affair, whether consummated or not, is a bigger and more painful form of betrayal. Dpw made a good point that if your partner is investing THAT much time and energy with someone else they haven't even met in person (yet, anyway), your relationship is probably already over...WAY over. If I did manage to scrap the bottom of the barrel for some "forgiveness" regarding this particular scenario, I would NEVER forget.

So...not sure that my forgiveness would count for much after all.
Very interesting article and I too am surprised there aren't more responses.

At my age, I no longer have any hard and fast "rules" when it comes to dating (e.g. no kissing on the first date, sex after 5 dates, whatever). That's not to say I spread my legs for just anyone that flashes a smile at me and it doesn't mean that I'm holding out until he puts a ring on my finger before he gets the golden ticket. Not at all. I'm smart and have lived a few lives by this point, I've learned a lot in my 44 years and I'm discerning about what I'm doing and what I'm looking for yet open to the possibilities as well as how they might present themselves to me. That experience and clarity has also made me a BIG believer in listening to my gut (it's rarely wrong) and doing whatever feels natural and comfortable which varies with each person I meet be it a love interest or not.

Having said that, I think there is something very sad about skipping the courtship and jumping into bed straight away. Maybe that's the old fashioned girl in me but part of what makes dating someone new so exciting is the dance that goes on between two people who are obviously enchanted and attracted to one another. I find those moments, the getting-to-know-each-other period, the talking and laughing, the flirting and teasing and all that anticipation of what's to come next SO exciting. Once you've gone ahead and done the dirty deed, those initial moments are, in effective, gone for good.

Then there is my brother. He met a girl who served him his morning coffee at the local diner, thought she was cute (was his physical type) asked her out, slept with her that first night and 21 years later, they've been married for 20 years now with two teenager daughters and still madly in love. No one in my family saw that coming especially because of his reputation at the time for being such a player. This was all pretty much par for the course in terms of how he "dated" so why THIS woman made the cut and the others didn't? That might be the million dollar question. In his words, he just had a gut feeling she was it for him. That's not to say that life for them, at least initially, wasn't rocky as they got to know each other better and got used to and accepted each of their individual nuances good and bad, because it was but they stuck it out because they wanted it badly enough.

If you ask me, I think the potential for a romantic relationship has less to do with whether or not you fuck each other on the first date and more to do with something much more intangible or easily explainable that comes from deep down where you just know you're with someone you need to hang on to for however long.

Life and love is nothing if not an ongoing mystery.
Quote by sky_west
It goes like this: in society 2% of women consider themselves lesbian and 3% bisexual. That's just 5% of women that consider themselves non-straight. Here it's 73%. And, yes, I researched it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is nonsense. In most cases they are men posing as women in order to get with les or bi women. The joke's on them: lots of other men had the same idea so all they get with is other fakes...


Indeed it is
Quote by dpw

No, you sound like a tigress waiting for her prey! There's a line in a film called The Women "I've painted my nails, JUNGLE RED" LOL.
I had a girlfriend (yes, I slept with girls as well) and she would ribbon my back at any chance that she got. It became contortionist sex for a while, I even persuaded her to wear sheepskin mittens! I played soccer at uni and guys used to take the piss out of me with my scratches. It wasn't just the back, it was anywhere the nails could dig in!


Oh my goodness...I may have interpreted the meaning behind "scratches". Although my partner loves being scratched all over and very vigorously, he does NOT like nor want me to draw blood! Yes, he may end up with some red trail marks depending on where I'm scratching but for the most part it's similar to...and I can't believe I'm going to say this...to the way dogs enjoy being scratched.

And just for the record my dear dpw, my partner HATES red nails but I do love the quote and the movie. Good call ;)
For me it would be Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Chris Pine, Robert Pattinson, Johnny Depp, Mario Lopez, Matthew McConaughey and Javier Garden to name a few.
Wait a minute...didn't you just post another thread about lining up hottie's for the weekend and how much you enjoyed waking up to a new one every Sunday???

How does that work with you being married? Open relationship or do you just enjoy having your cake and eating it too? Just curious. I'm glad I went with the condom comment now.

And to answer your original post, I'm in agreement with Icarus32, sometimes flirting is just flirting. Unless she makes a direct pass that leaves no doubt, let it go.