A pervy old dude called Ken
Went to bed at a quarter to ten
He awoke with a start
as he smelt his own fart
A pervy old dude called Ken
Went to bed at a quarter to ten
Bluestars reading as she swings
A lullaby on her lips she sings
Her book prurient sort
Lurid trysts of great import
Cuddles and snuggles, no strings
A hammock is awfully good
A sweet little damsel named Brenda
Had a coming out party with Glenda
It wasn't a shock
When she showed them her rock
A sweet little damsel named Brenda
Had online pervs try to befriend her
She blocked all but one
With a huge girthy dong
A sweet little damsel named Brenda
Had online pervs try to befriend her
Their sorority sisters decreed
“We’ll screw the whole frat, indeed!”
They went down the list
A couple of co-eds from Yale
In carnal matters never fail
They’re summa cum laude
The ladies are giving it some welly
Frantic movements, belly to belly
The sliding of thighs
Jan and Fran made quite a lovely pair
They had a torrid affair
slippin' and slidin'
Moist muffs collidin'
Fingers tangled in each other’s hair
The ladies are giving it some welly
In the jungle men brandish their spears
Sans thongs they instil many fears
Roses are red
Tulips are sublime
Maybe we need a thread
Where the tulips can shine
But here’s where we start off
With ‘roses are red’
Tho I’ll always buy tulips
Or freesias instead
Why do we buy roses?
They’re spiky and thorny
And if they aren’t scented
The gesture’s just corny
There’s plenty of flowers
So here is my plan
Go pick some today
For your woman or man
A lovely young lady called Kitty
Paid a visit to Vatican City
She dressed as a nun
A good day for staying in bed
Is Thursday thru Tuesday and Wed
Fun to be had
With a lass or a lad
A wild old gal from Peru
Got an exotic pet, an emu
It’s neck was quite scrawny
And when it got horny
It dry humped her favourite gnu
A good day for staying in bed
A wild old gal from Peru
Got an exotic pet, an emu
It’s neck was quite scrawny
A pretty young thing from Cornwall
Her pride never came before a fall
Roses are red
I say with some passion
That vests worn in hammocks
Are just so out of fashion
A flip of the fabric
A ping of the strap
Just means the crumbs
Then fall into my lap
For the oversexed fans of Lush
There’s little that will make them blush
Each niche represented
Leaves pants damp or tented
Roses are red
Come join in the swing
It’s snuggle time Sunday
I declare it ‘a thing’
The cuddles and biccies
Help to hold back the glums
And if you would like
You can help find the crumbs