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Buz
3 days ago
Moderator
Straight Male, 39
0 miles · Atlanta
Forum
The Linebacker
All kinds of food makes great sex play. Juicy fruits like watermelon. Also strawberries and grapes. Chocolate syrup is great and whipped cream. Honey and cane syrup can be a delicious sticky treat on your woman's breasts. And actually warm gooey foods can be a lot of fun. Its great fun to eat warm buttery grits off her belly. Warm wet noodles sliding around between your naked bodies is also quite erotic. Drinking and licking wine and booze off each other is also fun!
The Linebacker
I've never got sick from eating chicken, but everyone I know washes it thoroughly on a cleaning surface by itself and cooks it thoroughly. The thought of biting into some chicken and finding pink is disgusting to me.
You also don't want any pink in hamburger meat. Can I say Mad Cow Disease? (And didn't that develop by feeding meat byproducts to cows?)
Don't forget it's also important to wash vegetables, especially leafy vegetables like lettuce because E. coli could very easily be present trapped in the damp folds on the surface.
I got food poisoning from boiled shrimp before. I'll not mention the disgusting results. That was miserable and I had to go to the ER.
You also don't want any pink in hamburger meat. Can I say Mad Cow Disease? (And didn't that develop by feeding meat byproducts to cows?)
Don't forget it's also important to wash vegetables, especially leafy vegetables like lettuce because E. coli could very easily be present trapped in the damp folds on the surface.
I got food poisoning from boiled shrimp before. I'll not mention the disgusting results. That was miserable and I had to go to the ER.
The Linebacker
Quote by overmykneenow
That's a pretty huge task. All those words have very subtle differences in how your reader will react to their use.
Cunts get fucked hard. Relentlessly. Cunts are used. Cunts ache. Can pussies stand up to that? Probably not. A slit is just the pussy from the outside.
Pinch a bottom . Spank a backside. Fuck an ass.
A bitch satisfies her own needs. Sluts do to a certain extent too, though not to the same extent. For whores it's purely a transaction.
A woman will tease your dick, stroke your shaft, sit on your cock but laugh at your willy
This is very well stated.
If you're writing a loving sex story, use tame words like pussy and dick, but if you're getting raunchy (like the stories I enjoy) use cunt and snatch, bitch, slut, cock, pecker, etc. Make it fun.
The Linebacker
If someone gets their panties in a wad because you sent them a quick note about posting a story, they're not really a friend anyhow. Actually, complaining about that seems to exhibit a very shallow character flaw of a self centered, not very caring person.
When a friend sends me a pm that they've posted a story, I find that to be a very useful reminder and right away add it to my personal reading queue.
When a friend sends me a pm that they've posted a story, I find that to be a very useful reminder and right away add it to my personal reading queue.
The Linebacker
Dear Milk,
I'm trying to hold the fort for our Dylsexic club, but I need some help. So I'm looking forward to your return. I know you're busy at work, but if you don't hurry back I'm putting a missing person ad for you on bottles of Milik.
The ad will say:
Tnahks yuor frined,
Buz
I'm trying to hold the fort for our Dylsexic club, but I need some help. So I'm looking forward to your return. I know you're busy at work, but if you don't hurry back I'm putting a missing person ad for you on bottles of Milik.
The ad will say:
This missing person you see
on this bottle of milik is Milk Redman.
If you see him call this number
1-900-ITS-MILK.
$1.99 per minute.
on this bottle of milik is Milk Redman.
If you see him call this number
1-900-ITS-MILK.
$1.99 per minute.
Tnahks yuor frined,
Buz
The Linebacker
Fried chicken with a delightful flaky crust, tender and moist on the inside, gently steamed green beans, white creamed corn, nice and thick, fried green tomatoes, white rice covered in peppered country gravy, hot homemade cornbread, and sweet tea, with fresh steamy hot homemade banana pudding for dessert. Yummy!
The Linebacker
Quote by CaptNick
Slide it deep,
moving it fast and
faster.
Working it hard and fast.
Into the tight hole and
it feels stuffed.
Breaking a sweat,
damn it is so stuffed and
so tight.
Working the snake in deep,
pushing it deeper,
pushing and moving it all around.
Wow! This is hard work.
Working it with both hands,
going fast and deep as I
try to rip it apart.
Make it drain and
making the fluids flow.
Oh! almost got it.
Oh yes!
I can feel it.
It is done,
Breathing deep
and I am tired.
Wow, that was worth it,
having it flowing.
I am glad that the snake
unplugged the pipe
and have the sewer pipe flowing.
Now I can flush the damn toilet.
Thanks CaptNick! This poem is hilarious. This is a great one to kick off this thread!
The Linebacker
Too many times to remember them all. Lost my virginity in a car. Typical small town with a rural surrounding area – Americana. Take the car, SUV, or truck parking at night on a secluded dirt road and get it on. Sometimes take a blanket or sleeping bag and do it outside the car or bed of pick-up truck.
