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CR1982
Over 90 days ago
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CR1982
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Quote by Metilda
Why bondage?

That's not something that MOST people are interested in. That's only for a select few. It takes a relaxed atmosphere and trust at first. It's a mega step. To a lot of people that's not spice, that's submission, and it can be uncomfortable or scary.

When you said 'I want to spice things up' I imagined the use of toys, ice, going outside, public fun. Bondage did not come to mind.

Odds are it doesn't come to her mind, either. What are her views in that sort of thing? Have you even talked about it? Just a conversation about interests in sex without you trying to pressure her into agreeing to anything?

So that makes me want to ask you: what is vanilla sex to you and why is Bondage the only thing you want too try? Why aren't you thinkin if how to increase pleasure? Once you get her tied up then what? Surely you're not going to just have vanilla sex in cuffs, babe.

Being tied up requires deep connection and trust. If you haven't had just a conversation about it then you both need to work on being a closer couple together.


I never said that bondage was the only thing I wanted, I was only talking about that one suggestion, which I did state I had other ideas. I didn't want to write an essay of every thing I've suggested. I also said in my post that I volunteered to be the one tied, and yes we have had discussions, problem being that she dismisses the topic. What I had asked was for any suggestions on talking to my gf about this in a way in which she may open up to me and we can come to some mutual understanding on the number of things I think would be good to try, and find out if there's anything she's interested in as well. We are a close couple, she's the only woman I've been with longer than a year and going on 4 years now. I wouldn't even have suggested something like hand tying or blindfolding if we didn't have that kind of trust. When I said 'long time' in my post, did you think I meant 'some girl I met last week' or something? Finally, yes I am aware there's more to it than just handcuffs, I'm not some 13 year old that saw it in a magazine and thought 'oh that's cool.' Honestly, just read someone's post fully next time and you can perhaps construct a useful response.

Thank you to Naughty Nurse and Lustorlush, I have mentioned things from time to time, I do worry about when and how I bring up the topic, because once I did feel like I was badgering her. I'm just having to wait on really discussing this with her right now because of an on going family issue she's dealing with and day to day her mood changes. Even if she is in the mood for sex, it doesn't feel like the time to say 'hey let's have a full discussion on our feelings about things we'd like to try in bed.'

I really hope this doesn't become a real issue for us, because it's not even like I've done most of what I'm suggesting and the only way I can get it up is if I got a corkscew up my ass, lol. I just know they sound fun, and if we don't like it, least we tried, and anything we do enjoy simply adds to our fun. I hope I can communicate that to her clearly and she can give me insight on how she feels about all of it.
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CR1982
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The girl I'm with now insists that if it's not her toys or attached to my body then it doesn't go inside her. But there was a girl who I was very casual with one summer years ago who didn't mind if while we were getting heavy that I'd grab the bottle of whatever whiskey we were drinking that night vigorously fuck her twat with the bottle neck then remove the cap take a swig hand it to her for a drink and then just jump back in. I will say she was an alcoholic (real alcoholic tremors and all that) so any excuse to mix alcohol into filthy sweaty sex was a plus for her I'm sure.
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CR1982
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Yeah if you're just being pestered for cyber unsolicited that's pretty crappy. As far as the question on if it's cheating, that's a bit more complex than just yes or no. My gf and I have talked to each other about a lot of things, and we've gone over all the dos and don'ts. It's not what you'd think of if someone said "open relationship", but essentially our door is open slightly. I can watch porn, I can call up some party line and phone sex, I can cyber, so long as those things don't take away from attention she needs and they don't cross that line into what we define in our relationship as cheating. So say I cyber with someone a few times and then I do somethng like try to go meet them or cybering with them is more important to do than satisfying my gf when she wants it later, then yes line crossed I'm in cheating waters. But to judge someone simply for having a gf/bf and cybering as well and not having any context or insight to how that relationship works and proceed to denigrate the practice wholesale in condescending terms is a bit wrongheaded.
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CR1982
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Outside of the bedroom, intelligence. When the door is closed and the clothes come off, confidence. I'm not GQ model, but she's obviously ok with it if we're as far as her letting me slap, rub, and penetrate her orifices. So obviously, I'm ok with her body, I have always hated having to give a woman a pep talk before during or after sex because of an over inflated insecurity about her body, performance, prowess, etc. Also a woman that knows what to do with her hands during sex. I've been with some girls that must think if they don't have to touch my cock, then they can just forget they have hands. When I'm going down, sucking a nipple, etc. it comes off as if they're not into it if all they're doing is just lying there and moaning a bit.
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CR1982
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I know for me, yes, jerking it will get me off quickly. Oral can probably get me off 90% of the time. I can certainly say that using a condom for intercourse can be tricky for me. If I don't fool around long enough and get properly horned up for action I'll lose wood from the dramatic loss of sensation and having to exert an effort in grinding whatever position it is, especially if I position myself awkwardly and then have to stop to settle in better. Best option when it comes to condoms is Trojan Ultra thins, still not as good as bare, but better than the latex sweaters that every other condom feels like. Now to speak only from my gf perspective, kinda, it's really hard for her to get off on penetration and usually we'll fuck till I cum, and she genuinely is very much aroused by the penetration and the feeling of cum flooding the condom inside her so it helps after. Afterwards, she has little vibe she uses on her clitoris and I'll hold her close to me and lick on her ear, kiss, suck her nipples, talk dirty to her, finger her twat and she'll get to orgasm that way. So really when all is said and done, it's not really important what the final score of the game was, just that you and your team mate/s had fun on the field to use a lazy metaphor.
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CR1982
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Quote by Naughty_Talia
I think it would be cool to feel what it's like to blow a load a hot sticky cum all over the place lol


Sounds like someone would probably like the kinda fetish porn over at futanaria.com. I really like those videos, because the ladies are smokin hot and the ridiculous length and girth of the cocks and the amount of jizz just looks like a lot of fun. On the flip side of this question, I've often seen my gf orgasm and wonder what it'd be like on that end.
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CR1982
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Quote by bustyreadhead
this sounds like it is heading for the difficult "which is more important to me" moment.

sorry, i know how bad that moment sucks.


Well there will be a talk like that soon, but it won't be something relationship ending. We have a good relationship and like I said the sex is fine for what it is. I just want to try some new things, maybe we'll like them, maybe we won't. At least if we tried something and her or I weren't into it, then that can be that. I'm just getting tired of, like today, where I waited till she left for work and then used her dildo, it's something I'm kinda into and would like to share it with her, instead of having to hide it from her.
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CR1982
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I don't think the sex with my gf is bad, but we've been together a long time and I want to mix things up. When we first got together and were getting to know each other in the bed, she seemed open to trying new things. Every time I suggest adding anything to the routine, she passes on it or says 'maybe next time.' I suggested we try some soft bondage stuff, tie up or restrain and blindfold, she wasn't comfortable being tied or blindfolded, I said she can tie my hands up and blindfold me, and do whatever. 'Oh I don't know maybe some other time' that was two years ago. It's practically the same with anything I suggest. I don't know if I should give up and just take the plain vanilla foreplay, oral, intercourse, cum, sleep sex we're having or if I'm going about my wants in the bedroom the wrong way.
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