Quote by sprite
i will bend over backwards to make you happy

Quote by sprite
Giant marshmallow armies. *shivers*

Quote by Liz
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purpose of the calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles (1.3 km) per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles (125.83 million km), not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second (1083 km/s), 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at poky 27.4 miles per second (45.7 km/s), and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour (25 km/h) - that is four thousands of a mile (4/1000) per second (6.9 m/s).

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds, or 0.906 kg, that is), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons US (508,000 t metric), not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds (136 kg). Even granting that the “flying” reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with only eight or even nine of them - Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons (54,864 t metric), or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons (606,600 t metric) traveling at 650 miles per second (1083 km/s) creates enormous air resistance, and this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion Joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second (0.00426 s), or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second (1083 km/s) in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to top acceleration forces of 17,500 g’s. A 250 pound (113 kg) Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force (195,470 kg force, or 1.9547 MN), instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Quote by sprite
i just tell them i want to fuck. seems to work 90% of the time.

Quote by sprite


actually, yeah, he says he's single.

my advice? explore your fantasies. labels don't matter. try cross dressing, hook up with a guy, that's really the only way to figure it out. you'll never know until you try it out, and yeah, you really should - nothing wrong with being straight, gay, bi, a crossdresser or whatever. *hugs* let us know how it goes.

Quote by Tiffishot29
Ok, im 30 single guy always considered myself straight. Although for the past 3 years ive been crossdressing, masturbating anally, fantasizing about men, as well as fantasizing about being a woman. I enjoy all this so i can only assume i should test the waters out. My question is. Is this just a fetish or could i possibly be gay or bi? This is something I've wanted to try badly! So i guess maybe im just looking for words of encouragement.

Quote by Buz
The sheer excitement of public fucking adds greatly to the thrill of the sex.

Like Beth, I've done it and gotten away with it.

* Mall department store changing room (How many of y'all are familiar with Belks. If so, you're from the South.)
* Public beach (on the Emerald Coast, ie Florida panhandle, aka Redneck Riviera)
* In the car while driving (actually was getting a blow job when we passed a patrolman sitting watching for speeders to ticket. He was clueless.)
* Parking decks
* Hotel balcony
* On the famous Appalachian Trail (right on the trail) during the middle of the afternoon. No bears in sight thank goodness.
* In a ski boat and in a fishing boat, both during the day and at night.
* In an alley behind a bar in downtown Athens, Georgia

And in a sailboat in St, Thomas, US Virgin Islands, only we got caught. Well, seen by a yacht full of people who cheered. My wife and I on our honeymoon.

Quote by BethanyFrasier
I have this problem a lot too, especially with new lovers. Eventually, they get better (one guy never did, and always came in me within a couple minutes). On the other hand, I also have had partners who take so long to cum, they wear me out jack-hammering me endlessly! Not sure which is worse!

Quote by VirgoGo
I have a story in the competition (https://www.lushstories.com/stories/spanking/getting-into-character.aspx), and the total number of votes on the piece only became public.....The box says "38" scores. However, when I count the number of people who have scored my story using my Timeline, my count says 40. However, two of those people/voters changed their scores.

Is it possible that the score count is only tallying the number of votes that have been unchanged, rather than the total number of votes received? If so, there may be a glitch in the score counting......Alternatively, is it possible to un-score a piece one has already scored??? I didn't think so...and if so, why would the notification read " So and So has changed their score on your story " and not "So and So has removed their score on your story"

Call me baffled.

Quote by sprite


i did them all at once in '09. go for it, we'll compare notes