Well done, so incredibly challenging and a fabulous club to now be part of.

With apologies (lots of apologies) to Robert Lewis Stevenson:

Fifteen mods on the dead man's chest—

...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

Drink and the devil had done for the rest—

...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

Shiver me timbers; proper English’s derring-do—

...Yo-ho-ho, no more literary scum!

Blimey. Crushed ye barnacles on the story queue—

...Yo-ho-ho, no more literary scum!

Now for arrr and arrr, maties, plonked on our arrrse—

...Yo-ho-ho, slap the redhead’s bummm!

Scuppered, me hearties, that addition letters farrrce—

...Yo-ho-ho, slap the redhead’s bummm!

A seadog’s one eye for booty, that’s our coxswain—

...Yo-ho-ho, make each other cum!

All jolly rogerers: plundering pussies till cocks’ wane—

...Yo-ho-ho, make each other cum!

Pirate wenches and strumpets a moderator? —

...Yo-ho-ho, an all-girl three-sum!

Sink me; bilge-sucking’s a multiple orgasm creator—

...Yo-ho-ho, an all-girl three-sum!

Batten down the hatches, lovelies, we’ll write up a storm—

...Yo-ho-ho, coining-a-phrase income!

We’re cunning linguists who’re in such hornswaggle form—

...Yo-ho-ho, coining-a-phrase income!

Planking now easier than: one, two, three—

...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

No rhyme or reason, it has to be Kee—

...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

Quote by DanielleX

Arrrhhhh! A bottle o' yer finest rum, please, bartender!

Cap'n Danny. Aaarrrh!

Um, Danny ... pirates don't ask, they plunder!

Quote by techgoddess
And a high five right back for your 4th place spot!

Giggles, I suppose by finishing 6th, I don't qualify for a high FIVE 😀

Do read my Lush competition story (thanks to those who already have

The Sin Preceding Original Sin: Adam Swiped Left

According to one pirate: Pride and Prejudice meets Lesbian Vampire Killers

But another pirate: this has me worrying about your eternal soul... seriously, brilliant story

Well I can't go past without mentioning: Slippery Dick; the perfect combination of politician and fish. Still giggling at Hal I Butt.

Moving right along, congrats to those Rumpies who entered the blue competition; we did well, especially you Kat. One thing I do like over there is that the competition banner stays on the front page past when the results are displayed. Here it is already gone.

Given our mods have come over all piratanical I suggest a new bar rule: “Drinking rum before 10:00am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.”

That's be me done for Thursday, you'll love it. Night all.

The dykes on bikes have ridden down Oxford Street. The first float is on its way, a rainbow First Nations snake. The crowd is enormous, WorldPride rocks. We shall overcome 💖

Quote by Dee_Licious

my finger

And the flavour (or flavor depending on were your finger had been?)

Lovely pic you two ... though I had to google. Twice!

Hot Browns and Derby Pies, now I understand. It's one of the things I totally love, language differences. For instance don't you dare call an Australian prawn a shrimp, they are way too imposing for that name. I had to remember when visiting the USA that an entrée is the opposite of what it is here.

Hope you both had a good time in Kentucky.

Aircraft delays are the pits. At least there is time for you to read.

I've read about 30 stories in the anti-valentine competition and am not sure I'm half way through yet. Lots of different takes, so enjoying them. Still 4-5 days to go to get your entry in.

Thanks to all of those who have read mine. Here's the link:

The Sin Preceding Original Sin: Adam Swiped Left

Quote by kiteares
Jam doughnuts for everyone some with apricot jam, some with raspberry.

I'd love an apricot and raspberry one, congrats on using doughnuts, after all, "Doughnut might be the spelling you should use if you want to be sure you're not making a mistake." Lol, love a bit of English debate.

Quote by krystalg

My new 115-word story, A Taste of Sprite, should be there soon. Now sex, no action, just a few sentences ending with ...to be continued

And don't forget Krystal ... NO punctuation

Mind you, I thought Rachel wouldn't mind being a bit tied up in the basement.

Happy Birthday Kimmi ... the old nursing methods have a certain appeal

Quote by kistinspencil

The concept is foreign to me. I have enough trouble with pedestrian erotica as it is.

Pedestrian erotica is taking a walk on the wild side isn't it?

Oh, the Opera House too:

WorldPride kicked off in Sydney this weekend. We're an odd mob: Progress Shark outside the Museum has become the festival’s unofficial mascot and queer icon.

So very sad. Larry was one of the first to encourage my writing on Lush. I loved his comments on my stories, and reading and commenting on his. A fabulous writer and even more fabulous friend.

Mine is in:

The Sin Preceding Original Sin: Adam Swiped Left

I'll be a tad busy, lots of entries to catch up on - read about eight so far, all excellent.

Got my competition story done. Published while I was asleep and gone from the front page before I woke, so you may have missed it:

The Sin Preceding Original Sin: Adam Swiped Left

According to Rachel I may have gone a little dark: "this has me worrying about your eternal soul... seriously, brilliant story - and the ending was genuinely kind of scary, to be honest."

I have read eight other stories I think now, loved them, this is shaping up to be a fascinating and deep comp: I was the 53rd entry in and there is still quite a bit of time to go. Have made a little progress on the SS comp story but it will be touch and go to get it done.

Something summery and just a little weird before I go (another hot one expected today

Quote by sprite
don't force my mods to spend more time writing a rejection note than it took you to write your damn story. it takes away from other people who are actually attempting to write stories.

I so agree. The quality of my rejection notes has plummeted with all the careful drafting that's going on explaining why THEY FUCKED isn't a sex scene even when capitalized and bolded.

But, asking for a friend, if zero sex were perchance to be their fetish, then surely a fetish story with zero sex would be acceptable.

Stop giggling Annie and go to bed.

An anti-Valentine's Day song - "Go write, Annie," I hear you saying:

Since its a summer evening:

Quote by DanielleX

I'm a bit early. I'll come back later when you're open. The postman's been, I'll just pop the mail on the end of the bar.

Depends ... its just gone 8pm here ... its still warm after a hot summer's day ... I could take a glass or three of chardonnay as Himself is in bed ... so this bar better be open.

Do you still have post deliveries, we are down to two or three a week and I hardly get anything by mail anymore. Bigger things are couriered, which is one business that benefitted from Covid.

And of course I should finish my competition story, all done bar the last two hundred words which I keep rewriting. Usually I write the ending early on, didn't this time and I am paying for it.

I have read three competition stories so far, enjoyed them all. Got yours and TGs and many others to go. And also that SS competition too, though I may have left my run too late for that.

Actually had the Superbowl on yesterday morning, the local news was full of the two Australians playing for Philly. Goodness it takes a long time, started at 10:30 am and wasn't done till after 2 pm. Himself watched a little (he could easily get addicted to TV) but was underwhelmed.

Happy Valentine's Day

Quote by Georgia_27_8

Making up the top 10 were another 4 male writers, meaning 7/10 writers which entered the competiton proved to be the best of the bunch are men.

My recollection though, Georgia, is that this is only the second time since I have been writing competition stories, that more men than women have been in the top ten. The other was the Foolish competition, which brought with it a few jokes when the results were declared. (There were also three Australians in the top six, lol, and as the top woman (6th,) I was the lowest placed in a competition maybe ever.) We have had competitions where there were no men in the top ten and my rough calculus would be more women than men in top tens over the last four years.

By the way, I think there should be a counter on the top ten badge, its an important stat for those of us who regularly do competitions.

Quote by Ensorceled

Just two?

That's a fair point my friend. When I add your stories from your previous account, I would have included you with Jake and WW. For me, I don't list who I think is elite, as I will inevitably leave someone out. Taking of elite, where is Tam of late?

Quote by kistinspencil
I shelter no illusion of ever being on any favorite or leader list.

Look into a mirror and repeat after me, Kistin: "I am Lush's best micro writer." You are, mind you if you spelt favourite properly ,,, runs away giggling,

Quote by KimmiBeGood
Where the Rumpies' entries? I know Kat's coming soon. Where you at, Bear? Ape? Annie? Ms Skald, can't you conjure up a potion to twist a good V Day on its arse? 😈 😈 😈

Well I found an hour of peace and focused ... finished the first draft on my Lush competition story, so I will let that percolate for a bit and in the mean time perhaps refocus on the SS competition ... that has been 750 words in for over a fortnight.

Getting a little tight with the SS deadline, not that the plot isn't clear in my head, just getting the frame of mind and writing space to do the topic justice.

Lol as you might imagine Mardi Gras doesn't bring to mind New Orleans or Rio or anywhere else but Sydney. This year WorldPride is being hosted in Sydney from 17 Feb till 5 March, so this is likely to be the biggest Mardi Gras (Saturday not Tuesday) parade ever.

The summer has been delightfully hot and pleasantly humid the last little while, most days around 30C so not over the top, heat wise. For those that like a little toddler news, himself is a total water baby, taps, puddles, streams, anywhere there's water he is to be found splashing. Words are starting to come - he's beyond only 'that' with pointed finger - and fortunately for him has added 'mama' to his repertoire, along with cat. You did warn me Kimmi, and you are right, a perpetual motion machine.

One of the interesting things I’ve discovered writing is that I’m not aware that I’m writing “Australian.” Not a particular issue with punctuation where I tend to the traditional English rather than the nouveau American, but definitely with words. Fossick, frisson, bush (as in wilderness,) and many more. It’s an interesting question whether this ‘damages’ my writing reputation, like a new word can dump a reader out of a story. Lol, and then there’s the fact that Christmas is in summer and Halloween in spring, I tend to have to make those points in the story, which maybe is disconcerting. Lush is good compared to Literotica, which insists all should be American. But at least this gives me a writing topic, c/f Hannah and my story:

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/butch-cassidy-and-the-vegemite-kid-1

which has fun with differences between the US and Australia.

Quote by sprite

lol that genuinely made me laugh. oh, and updated to 1885 words. getting concerned about the 2500 limit now, since i just started in on the sex scene... fyi, this one's not as dark at Tick Tock. I think? btw, I AM expecting an entry from you. please.

I thought I couldn't get it done under 2,500 words but the second draft is under by 50. Now just need to edit more to make sure sense hasn't been left on the editing room floor. SS competition is suffering, its hard to do two competitions at once.

Lush brings home the bacon: to coin a phrase 😇

Quote by sprite

who the heck is Uncle Valentine? lol i mean, if there's a twist, yeah, sure? (btw, i have 621 words so far and i have no idea how it's going to end lol)

That's perfect, Rachel, 621 words: just add To Be Continued and hit submit.

Odds are you'll be fine, there's one mod who gets a bit grumpy but it will be worth it for the coin.

I'm front of the queue to tip large for this.

Quote by Verbal

My interest in kitty ears is purely literary, I assure you (https://www.lushstories.com/stories/fetish/purr).

Great story this, I remember it well. But of course it leads me to ask ... how do coins work for collaborations, does a tip at the end of this story get shared between the two of you or is there a default in the algorithm that says: 'Pay Rachel.'

Quote by sprite
thanks for letting me get that offa my b-cups

Our pleasure, the absence of a Taser is appreciated.

And today's song ...

Quote by Georgia_27_8
Lushcoin rewards those writers which have truly, top-tier ability and (hopefully) prevents them taking material elsewhere which is financially funded in a professional authorship capacity.

How many do that, Georgia, many top-tier writers are still hereabouts? Lol, maybe I'm not on the list, but I've never thought of publishing elsewhere. I came here having published elsewhere and haven't submitted on another site ever since. Most of the writers I know are in the same boat. I just logged up to OnlyFans, it isn't really a story site.

Honestly I write for fun and enter competitions to test myself. The rewards are the validation of my peers, never the money. I concede that there are less comments on stories over the past year, but there is enough feedback for me to keep writing. After all where else would I go. 😊

Quote by sprite

fyi, i normally hate VD (valentine's day) so this gives me joy. not sure how good i'd be at writing something dark and twisted though...

Lol, channel how you felt writing forum posts on other threads and you will be fine. Any rate what about Tick Tock?