With apologies (lots of apologies) to Robert Lewis Stevenson:
Fifteen mods on the dead man's chest—
...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest—
...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Shiver me timbers; proper English’s derring-do—
...Yo-ho-ho, no more literary scum!
Blimey. Crushed ye barnacles on the story queue—
...Yo-ho-ho, no more literary scum!
Now for arrr and arrr, maties, plonked on our arrrse—
...Yo-ho-ho, slap the redhead’s bummm!
Scuppered, me hearties, that addition letters farrrce—
...Yo-ho-ho, slap the redhead’s bummm!
A seadog’s one eye for booty, that’s our coxswain—
...Yo-ho-ho, make each other cum!
All jolly rogerers: plundering pussies till cocks’ wane—
...Yo-ho-ho, make each other cum!
Pirate wenches and strumpets a moderator? —
...Yo-ho-ho, an all-girl three-sum!
Sink me; bilge-sucking’s a multiple orgasm creator—
...Yo-ho-ho, an all-girl three-sum!
Batten down the hatches, lovelies, we’ll write up a storm—
...Yo-ho-ho, coining-a-phrase income!
We’re cunning linguists who’re in such hornswaggle form—
...Yo-ho-ho, coining-a-phrase income!
Planking now easier than: one, two, three—
...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
No rhyme or reason, it has to be Kee—
...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!