Quote by jerseylynn
I understand that this is an Adult site but in MY opinion and this is just me saying this. I'm who i am, my submission is for me and whom i serve. I don't feel the need to run around the rooms and forums proclaiming this is who or what i am. My submission doesn't define me only but it is who i am.
I believe that some go very deep into the lifestyle and that is what defines them the most. Others i believe are living a fantasy here online and thinks that maybe being a Dom or Mistress will make them "special" or give them rights to say and do anything they please. Which couldn't be further from the truth. A Dom/Mistress are carrying, honorable and doesn't need to announce who or what they are to gain respect, by their actions it will show.
One doesn't need to act like the big person on campus to be a Dom/Mistress. I also see a lot of people claiming a status that takes years to gain after training and observing and living it rather online or for real. You don't just wake up one day and claim "Hey i'm a Master or Ma'am" and be successful. Just like anything in life there is research, training and learning. A submissive puts their trust in a Dom/me and if they aren't properly trained can do mental and physical damage. This is a risk no matter what but just plain scary with one that self proclaims a status without working their way up to that title that was EARNED.
Part of a Dom/mes duty to the submissive is to train them to be the best submissive that they can be to show them what is acceptable and what isn't with them. With one Dom/me is acceptable but to another isn't so there is always learning. To a submissive there should be no grater fail then to disappoint their Dom/me. That is the worst feeling and punishment should never be fun. The punishment is there to also guide you and many think it's a thrill or turn on for a Dom/me. It's not it hurts them just as much as the submissive failed and they are having to correct the submissive. Will a submissive mess up YES, will a submissive need guidance A big ol' hell yes. All this is part of the package. But without being shown the way who's fault is it really??? ~whispers~ the correct answer is the Dom/me. To be a Dom/me is more then having a someone to order around it's a deep connection, to put your trust into each other and know that the Dom/mes would never hurt you and that it hurts them as well.
I see so many examples of people using a title to berate and exploit others. This goes both ways as Dom/mes and submissive. If this is role play for a couple then that's fine but say that, there is nothing wrong with fantasy but remember there is somebody on the other end of those words. Just cause you see words does not make it alright to harass and play an evil game with the person on the other end. Always keep in mind that people behind the words do have feelings as words hurt and cause emotional scaring...It happens in not only the BDSM community but in All others as well. Respect that is one of the main ingredients to this lifestyle and should be in others.
Sorry got on a roll there...
You just said exactly what I've been trying to say. Well, minus all the in-depth stuff that I couldn't delve into being that I know next to nothing about this lifestyle. But this is the explanation I've been looking for, I think. Thanks so much!
And also, I think I just get tired of the blowhards. Some doms here don't realize that their dominance carries no weight to those outside of this lifestyle. So when I come across a big shot dominant type who tries to throw their weight around, I usually just laugh and roll my eyes...but overall I'm just annoyed. It's the same with a sub. Just because you're a submissive, it doesn't mean everyone you come across has the desire to dominate you. I'm not trying to harp on anyone in this lifestyle, as many of my friends here are involved, but it's not something they carry around or throw in someone's face any chance they get.
