DirtyMartini's Forum Posts

8 Aug 2011

Yeah, that's a bit weird...I mean, what if you get a piece of the head and there's this eyeball staring up at you as you're about to eat it?

And other parts could be a bit strange...well, never mind... happy8

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8 Aug 2011

I think the question that begs to be asked here is this...

What kind of wine do you serve with ashes anyway?

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8 Aug 2011

Here is an actual video of Paul Revere and The Raiders without the hats...who knew they actually came off? And I like this song too...

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8 Aug 2011

Hey Chef...I think Sharon is like right next to you practically...must have been a rough weekend...

Hey Scooter, you know what's nice about Rumples is it's not one of those fancy-ass places that requires stuff like shoes and shirts...and you don't have to go out back by the dumpster to smoke... Regaeman Man

I wouldn't go out by that dumpster anyway...last time I looked out back, they had rats the size of Volkswagens...I going back there no more...

Anyway...who's buying the next round? I seem to have left my wallet in my other pants...

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8 Aug 2011

Quote by scooter

Rumor has it Dirty; this is the very mule Al sold to shameless last year.

Oh, Al's the one who sold the mule to Shameless...I thought I heard something about a defective mule, but wasn't sure who all was behind it...don't want to be behind a mule anyway...

Speaking of Shameless...I wonder where he's getting in trouble these days...has to be somewhere though...

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8 Aug 2011

Good Morning Lushketeers...what's happening with this crew today? I'll take one of those Special Blends this morning...

Trying to wake up today, but so far rather unsuccessful...a Special Blend should do it, that's been known to wake up the dead actually...

What's with the mule on the beach there Scooter...you don't see that everyday, well at least I don't...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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8 Aug 2011

I say go for it Curly-G...you and Steven sound like a match made in...um, well made in somewhere...

If things work out...Maybe you can have the marriage ceremony right here in the Lush forum...don't think that's been done before...

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7 Aug 2011

The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America have a site called Writer Beware which alerts authors to scams in the publishing industry...I know, hard to believe...check it out as the site applies to all genres, and be sure to like their Facebook page... smile

WRITER BEWARE ®
http://www.sfwa.org/for-authors/writer-beware/

From their site...

"Writer Beware is the public face of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America’s Committee on Writing Scams. We also receive sponsorship from the Mystery Writers of America. Like many genre-focused writers’ groups, SFWA and MWA are concerned not just with issues that affect professional authors, but with the problems and pitfalls that face aspiring writers. Writer Beware, founded in 1998, reflects that concern.

Although SFWA and MWA are US-based organizations of professional fiction authors, Writer Beware’s efforts aren’t limited by country, genre, or publication history. We’ve designed the Writer Beware website so it can be used by any writer, new or established, regardless of subject, style, genre, or nationality."

I urge anyone considering using any publisher that asks for any upfront fee to check out the site...I know there are quite a few writers these days going various self-publishing routes...and there are plenty of publishers out there willing to take a writer's money to put out a book...how much you actually get in return, especially after the check clears, is a whole other subject...

There have also been cases recently of publishers approaching authors with "deals" which are somewhat less than favorable to the writer...just the fact that a publisher sends you an offer should raise a red flag...legitimate publishers generally do not go out seeking out business, they have enough authors lined up it's hard enough for an unknown writer to get a manuscript read without an agent...

So...good luck...and better safe than sorry... happy8

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7 Aug 2011

Quote by Jingle

If you think your writing needs work, one of THE BEST things you can do for yourself is get some writing friends or friends who are also enthusiastic about the subject you write about.

You can join a writing group if you can find one...it's not hard if you look, actually...I'm in a couple over on Facebook...and a few more on LinkedIn...

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7 Aug 2011

Quote by alacran75
But the stories get few votes in relation to the number of times they are read.

Generally, only about 1 in 100 people who read a story actually vote...the percentages tend to be higher in certain categories, notably love stories and poems...

But, that's just the way it is, anywhere...it's not necessarily a reflection on your stories...

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7 Aug 2011

Good Afternoon Lushketeers...that is a sweet looking piece of glass you got there Sharon, have to say I'm impressed...and I'm not a guy that impresses that easy...

And thanks for that info about the carpeting Chef...I like a girl who's, um, color coordinated... happy8

Yeah, you know one of the things we have missed around here these last few months is Reverend Rump's sermons...I think this crew could use a bit of old time religion if you ask me...I'd pass around the collection plate, but I can't seem to find the darn thing lately...

I hope Scooter didn't sell that for scrap too...guess I'll just have to go visit the local church and find me another one...

Anyway...let me get a couple of martinis while I'm here...a few drinks would do me good about now, or anytime for that matter...and certainly will help if the Rev is going to give a sermon...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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7 Aug 2011

I prefer the latter, though a limited amount of numbers is not a bad thing...saying "he was about 6 feet tall" is not bad, but if you start saying "he was about 6 foot 2 inches, 187 pounds approx, with a trim 33 inch waist" it starts to sound like you're writing a technical manual, and not an erotic story...

I've heard some people say they don't like too much description because they like to imagine themselves in the story, so for that reason they prefer the characters to be deliberately vague description wise...

I don't really do that myself, as far as put myself in the story when I read it...but, I do think authors should use numbers sparingly for the reasons I mentioned...

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7 Aug 2011

Quote by Lone_Wolf

"The biggest thing to keep in mind is that when F-16s come screaming up to you, they are probably trying to tell you something," spokeswoman Stacey Knott said.

Yeah...um....

(Looks around for the "No Shit" emoticon)

I would certainly think they were trying to tell me something... happy8

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7 Aug 2011

Simon & Garfunkel...

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7 Aug 2011

The Band...

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7 Aug 2011

Quote by nicola
Gav has advised that with the new setup, everyone will be able to set their own timezone.

How cool is that?

That is just totally cool Nicola, maybe even too cool for words...

In fact, it's almost as cool as this new computer mouse I bought...but not quite... happy8

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6 Aug 2011

C Hope Clark in her latest newsletter started off with a paragraph which made me laugh out loud actually... icon_smile

"Now that everyone writes ebooks like grocery lists, we become faced with the all important issue of who will review these ebooks and make them famous on Amazon."

Yes, it does kind of seem like e-books are about as common as grocery lists these days, perhaps more common actually...but, if you happen to be one of those people who has an e-book out there on Amazon, and you're watching the cobwebs grow on it while you're trying to figure out a way to sell more than the two copies you've already sold...and those were to your mom and your aunt...

What do you do? Get it reviewed, of course...probably the best way to jump start book sales is with a good review...here is one link, this is the Crossroads Directory...
http://www.ebookcrossroads.com/book-reviewers.html

Here is another link for Review the Book...an appropriate title, I would guess...
http://reviewthebook.com/

And lastly, a directory of Twitter book reviewers...on GalleyCat...
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/best-book-reviewers-on-twitter_b11136

There are other recommendations like find reviewers on Facebook and "friend" them...review other people's books on Amazon and subtly suggest they do the same for your book...join writing groups and organizations related to your genre...that last one is really a good idea, from what I'm told btw...

If you have a book out there...especially if you are one of the billions of people these days that has a self-published e-book, expect to spend a fair amount of time and effort promoting it...at least if you want to actually sell any...

Once again...Good Luck... happy8

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6 Aug 2011

Good Morning Lushkins...nice to see Mr. Algol up bright and early with the world famous Special Blend...

If that don't wake you up in the morning you're probably dead...I'll take a cup btw...hopefully it will wake me up...

And Btw...how come I don't have one of those ClearPixs buttons? Do some people have a special version of Lush I don't know about? Hmmm...what's going on here?

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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6 Aug 2011

Yes, words can do a lot of things...for better or worse...nice job...

Word is Born... happy8

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6 Aug 2011

I always like to cook with wine...sometimes I even put it in the food... happy8

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6 Aug 2011

Quote by Her Royal Spriteness

speak for yourself! i am very fond of my hard earned badges

If you get any more badges, you'll need a bigger page...

And come on now..."hard earned?"...I mean really...those Yearling and Autobiographer badges must have really caused you to work up a sweat...

Just saying... laughing6

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6 Aug 2011

Quote by nicola

How hard can it be in this day and age?

I can't answer that for you Nicola...I used to be into computers...back in the 90's when I first got one...now I just want to turn the thing on and have it work...as long as I can type out a story and get on the Lush sites, things are fine with me...

What I can never figure out, is why the three Lush sites seem to be on different forum times...just checked Stories Space...they are three hours behind me there...

And Historias is five hours behind me...

Those are things that are the real mysteries in life... happy8

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6 Aug 2011

It is four hours ahead of reality for me...

I'm in Eastern Standard Time, btw...

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5 Aug 2011

LOL...hey Scooter...where did you find her?

Yeah, I think she'd be perfect to help you make fireworks next year... Regaeman Man

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5 Aug 2011

...years of training, threats, and blackmail are considered the norm these days as well as the importance of knowing who to bribe. You certainly don't want a repeat of the incident that happened last year where...

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5 Aug 2011

Good Morning my fellow Lushketeers...I'll be daring and try some of that coffee Right Rev Rump...

Anything that resembles coffee should work for me at the moment...and Scooter, you really do need to invest in a new mug dude...

You're just staining the stains on the floor of this joint...at least patch that cup up with some duck tape or something...

Damn...can't take you anyplace...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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4 Aug 2011

I saw this recipe and figured I had to post it here...

Bacon Wrapped Pork Chops...
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/bacon-wrapped-pork-chops/detail.aspx

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4 Aug 2011

It came to my attention today, that if you are going to make your own sex toys...you might as well make your own condoms as well...
http://mosex.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/make-your-own-condoms/

Perhaps something with a pretty little pink ribbon around the end to tie it on...

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4 Aug 2011

Van the man...

And I have no idea where the Harper Valley vid originally aired Curious-C...sometimes it says if you open it up in YouTube, but there's no info...

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4 Aug 2011

Good Morning Lushkins...Hey Reverend Rumpster, I'll take a cup of that coffee-like substance...

How strong is it? Do I have to chase it with a shot of Sams Club bourbon? That could work too...line 'em up...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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