DirtyMartini's Forum Posts

4 Aug 2011

Quote by sprite
ok, for those of us who don't wanna get blotto and eat ribs and chips, i'm resurecting this baby. bar is now... open!

Who in their right mind would not want to get blotto and eat ribs and chips???

Jeez...I just don't understand some people these days...just saying...

And Doll...any girl who hangs out in a martini glass is fine with me... happy8

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4 Aug 2011

"I became a writer because McDonald's was paying me too much to sling hamburgers."

-just read that in a blog...no comment, actually... happy8

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3 Aug 2011

I sort of like the philosophy of the CEO though...

Art Melton, Industry Icon

Art Melton is the foremost expert on internet spousal ordering fulfillment systems. He served as CEO until his recent legal problems and subsequent disappearance.

"I was told early on that startup businesses are risky... people told me my idea was stupid... but I believe the key to success is to ignore other people's opinions."

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3 Aug 2011

Quote by sprite
- trust me, we just don't churn this stuff out while sitting on the toilet, it's a labor of love,

I'm sorry...what did you say???

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3 Aug 2011

Good Morning Lushketeers...I see Reverend Rumpskin made the coffee today...I guess that's a good thing...

I could use a cup...I know I could use something, coffee seems like a good start...

I'll probably find my way back later, we shall see...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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3 Aug 2011

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3 Aug 2011

Quote by WellMadeMale

Come to think of it. The gawdamned internet was not available back then.

How the hell did I ever survive?

You know you're right Jeff...we didn't have all that high-tech bullshit back then...

What I used to do back then was send off a sweet love poem...something to show how you feel...I think I still might have an example, come to think of it...here's one...

You And The Sorry-Ass Small Dick Loser Deserve Each Other

You say want to leave me,
You say your goodbye,
Walk off and ditch me,
For this other guy.

Some sorry ass loser,
Some lame ass prick,
Who probably has,
A two-inch dick.

If you really want to leave,
I wish you two luck,
Because you probably deserve,
The stupid, dumb fuck.

But if you do really leave me,
Know I ain’t gonna cry,
I just hope that you two,
Will eat shit and die.

And if you still want to leave,
And if you are sure,
I hope you catch a disease,
For which there’s no cure.

08-03-11.

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3 Aug 2011

Of course, I may be dumb...but...

Why are you asking other people if you should let your girlfriend pee on you?

Like I said, I may not know much...but, seems sort of like a personal thing that's probably not best decided in the Lush forum...

But, what do I know???

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3 Aug 2011

Quote by gypsymoth

No, tis true, Alan.

Are you shuttering in horror or starring in disbelief?

You no Gypsy, my interest was peaked enough to clique on this link but I did knot expect to be phased...well, nothing is farther from the truth...this post was enough to illicit a reaction that almost caused me to loose it and want to throe a pale of water at the moron that wood make such a mistake...

I mean cum on...and your write, these people are two stupid...no use trying to be discrete about it...

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3 Aug 2011

This situation does not look promising... laughing6

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3 Aug 2011

I believe this topic was mentioned in another thread somewhere, but I don't know if it was resolved...

A lot of people seem to be looking for ways to convert to .PDF format these days...whether it is creating their own e-book with the intention of self-publishing...or, whatever...

Anyway...one of my Facebook friends just posted two sites...
http://www.pdfonline.com/

And the second...
http://www.freepdfconvert.com/

I'm told both of them actually work...which is always nice to know... icon_smile

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3 Aug 2011

You can't be serious about this post...

Tell me you're joking here Gypsy... dontknow

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3 Aug 2011

And just think folks...this was written years before the days of sex story sites and chat rooms... happy8

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3 Aug 2011

Mr. Right Reverend Rumpskin...your avatar is a guy on a beach wearing two hats...let's leave it at that...

And btw...I don't see that whole clean mug concept catching on around here...don't make any big plans like chasing the cat out of the sink in the expectation that someone else might ask you to wash another mug...

Just ain't happening around here...

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2 Aug 2011

Quote by chefkathleen

Thank-you Baby. Just not the one of you in the shower. Please? Every time I see that I just wanna toss you a pork chop cause you so skinny.

You can toss me a pork chop anytime Chef... happy8

How's this picture? It's taken in a Chinese restaurant here in Somerville that I can't recall the name of at the moment..May, 2010...that I remember...

I think the restaurant's called Chung fo, or Hung ko, Kung fo or Gung ho...something like that...

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2 Aug 2011

Quote by chefkathleen

Jesus Alan. I wish you'd take off that jacket. I got in my Jeep today and the temp was 109. My eyeballs and toenails were sweating. Looking at you in that makes me hotter and not in a good way.

You know Chef, you have a point there...maybe I should switch pics for the summer...

You know if Chef is saying the name of the Lord, things must be serious... happy8

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2 Aug 2011

Good Afternoon Lushketeers...any of that coffee left? I most seriously need something to numb my teeth today, now that you mention it...

I have to go get a root canal later today...

I am looking forward to that like, um, getting a root canal...
Oh man...going to be one of those days...

Oh btw...

Quote by RumpledFiveskin

Evening all. I've just fineshed the conclusion to Jaymal's sever part Neely Jordan (sp?) series. IMHO, it's one fo the best I've come across, so to speak. Highly recommended.

Don't know if you're aware there Mr. Fiveskin, but Jake has a book coming out in September on Excessica...a real print book, not one of those newfangled e-book type things...

Just thought I'd mention it...

Later,
Alan.
occasion5

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2 Aug 2011

Quote by gypsymoth

That's nothing compared to some of the lines in stories we come across here when we're reviewing them.

Um, really? "That's nothing" you say???

Hmmm...just curious, what is the rate of alcoholism among site moderators compared to the general population? Has anyone ever commissioned a study?

I know if I read enough lines like that, it would drive me to drink...not that it really takes much I guess..

Just saying...

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2 Aug 2011

Quote by studintraining

I've been told countless times to lower my standards which I've done to the point where I've even approached a blind girl and been rejected

I'm sorry to hear that...I was tempted to make a joke there, but that sounds very serious...

Btw, I went out on a blind date once...it was terrible, her seeing-eye dog kept trying to hump my leg...

But seriously...like everyone said, you have to put yourself out there...everyone gets rejected...believe it or not, and I know this is hard for some here to comprehend, but believe it or not...I've even been rejected...

Yeah, yeah...I know it's hard to believe, but it happens to the best of us... happy8

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2 Aug 2011

Yeah...I wonder if I need permission to use some of these in my next story...

I just think that one about his hand passing over her stretch marks is, um, extra special...definitely sets the mood for any erotic romance...

I might have to have a drink with you there Mr. Algol...maybe two or three, come to think of it...
Pour Wine

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2 Aug 2011

Oh God...say it ain't so...I didn't just read this, did I?

"Like a bird gliding over the surface of a Wyoming river rippled by a gentle Spring breeze, his hand passed over her stretch marks."

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest announced, for the twenty-ninth year running, the worst sentence submitted to its annual race for the most wretched first line of an imaginary novel. The writer of this year's worst opener is professor and admitted punster Sue Fondrie, who teaches in the curriculum and instruction program at University of Wisconsin in Oshkosh. She will receive as her prize "a pittance."

OK...so none of these are actually published novels...but, just the fact that somebody thought of some of these is scary...

Btw...my home state of New Jersey seems fairly well represented...here's the link...
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2011.htm

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2 Aug 2011

Maybe you just need a "Chick Magnet" T-shirt to give your confidence a little boost...

Seems to have done wonders for this dude...

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1 Aug 2011

And So It Goes...though where it's going no one knows...

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31 Jul 2011

Quote by WellMadeMale
Oh, the irony of a n00b who is hiding behind a generic Lush avatar, posing this kind of question. Now that's...entertainment!

You made my monkeys laugh Jeff... happy8

What's as funny, or even funnier, is when more than one member posts the same nude pictures and tries to pass them off...

Check out this thread...if you have not already...
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postsm486818_Notice-anything.aspx#486818

And btw...I'm sure all those gals will tell you their pictures are real...in fact, they'll probably tell you anything you want to hear...

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31 Jul 2011

Quote by Dancing_Doll
As long as you don't resort to the combover or weird attempts to hide it, you should be fine.

I think Doll is perfectly correct...as long as you don't resort to anything stupid looking like a combover, you should be fine...

Try shaving your head and getting a full head tattoo...that should most definitely divert attention from the fact that you're going bald...

And this one gives new meaning to the phrase..."Here's looking at you kid"...

Seriously though...I'm fortunate in that baldness doesn't seem to run in my family...in fact, my grandfather Jankowski died in his eighties and not only had a full head of hair when he died, but he never even went gray...

If I were going bald though, I would most likely embrace the look and shave my head...there really is nothing worse looking than a combover...

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31 Jul 2011

The Who doing a number from what is undoubtedly one of the great classic albums of all time...Quadrophenia...

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30 Jul 2011

Quote by KingOfLove
I think death is the biggest fear for all of us, am I right?

No...I personally don't fear death...

Not sure at the moment what my "biggest fear" is...maybe I'll stop back...

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30 Jul 2011

Quote by thepainter
Really? Yet another hairy/shaven thread? You should learn to use the Search function before posting a topic that has been done to death already.

Really? The topic of pubic hair has been mentioned in the Lush forum before?

I don't believe you...surely you jest...

I certainly don't recall seeing it mentioned before... Regaeman Man

Next you're going to try to tell us that cock size has been mentioned before...

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30 Jul 2011

Quote by sprite
Quote by rudyP34
Maybe it should be mandatory to write a message when requesting friendship. You click "Ask to become a friend", you're taken to the message writing screen, you write a little something that explains why and then you send the request. I'm sure most of the people hate random friend requests. Not me... I was requested once in 10 months, and I promptly accepted. Wait.. twice!

The way things work right now, either you just empty-request someone, or you have to send a private message separately, and in some cases, I assume some people get a lot of messages and requests, and at some point, the two become dissociated. By combining requesting and messaging, it makes it easier for people to sort out those who just add people randomly, or because they have a hot avatar.

good idea

Oh yeah...I think this is great as well...I can include one of my classy and original lines along with my friend requests...

Something like..."Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here."

Or..."I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your BedRock."

Yeah, I think this is a great idea... happy8

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30 Jul 2011

Dedicated to the members of the site btw...best of luck to all in the coming year...

The Next Celebrant Might Be You...

Stories Space celebrates its first year,
Congrats to Lisa and her crew,
But it’s the members of the site,
Who have reasons to celebrate too.

Miss Sprite took first place in a contest,
And Xuani won money as well,
Lady Sharon sold a couple stories,
And so did Miss Clarabelle.

DirtyMartini got a story in Bare Back,
Which he thought was really cool,
But he’s not the only one around here,
For so did Don Abdul.

Cowgirl sold stories to a magazine,
And as if that wasn’t enough,
She got contacted by a publisher,
Who’s interested in her stuff.

Trouble maker Rascal got an Editor Pick,
Even though she’s been so bad,
And that same well-deserved honor,
Went to the very talented Sherzhad.

So, you can see it’s not just the site,
But the members celebrating too,
And if you’ve entered this contest,
The next celebrant might be you.

07-30-11.

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