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DirtyMartini

Over 90 days ago

Male, 64

United States

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8 Jul 2011

Quote by nicola
I haven't read the article yet, but it's not a road I'd travel down.

If you are already well-established on the internet, or are already a top selling author going to self-publishing to grab a bigger percentage of the profits, it's one thing...

Most people who self-publish don't fall into the above categories though...

Here's another article on self-publishing e-books...I personally don't have a high opinion of self-publishing, especially e-books...but I don't know much anyway... icon_smile

icon_smile

Publish Your Own Ebooks | How To Write, Publish & Sell Ebooks Online
www.publishyourownebooks.com
In this post I want to give a quick overview of what to look for in a mailing list management service. As your fan base grows you need an effective way of communicating with your readers by email. If you are building your author platform online then you really need .

8 Jul 2011

New Book Journal
----------------
Authors and publishers can submit press releases about new books,
awards, events, etc. free to this site. Click on the "Contact Me"
button to upload information. The site can also embed trailers and
cover art, plus links to Amazon.
http://NewBookJournal.com

8 Jul 2011

Good Afternoon Lushketeers...I see I missed the strip naked limbo contest...I'll tell you, miss a day in this place, and you never know what you might miss...though maybe it's just as well...

Quote by scooter

I don't have anything goofy or quirky to say.

And did I hear Scooter say he has nothing goofy or quirky to say???

Maybe I'll just pass on that one...I'll take a Dirty Martini or two instead... Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

8 Jul 2011

People always seem to be looking for critiques of their writing, heck they even ask me...and really, I don't know anything...

Someone in one of the LinkedIn writing groups posted the link to this site today...the site is called Critique Circle...apparently you post your work and others come along and critique it...

My only concern is that I don't know what the requirements to be one of the critics is...someone might come along and critique your work who knows far less than you, but if you're interested...here's the link...
http://www.critiquecircle.com/

Let us know how this one works for you... icon_smile

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7 Jul 2011

Quote by nicola

Yes, I was planning on buying a new pencil.

Lol...see if they have a payment plan... icon_smile

icon_smile

7 Jul 2011

Quote by nicola
That's really good.

Did you pay to have it critiqued?

No...just in a new writing group over on Facebook...a lot of people who are somewhat more "advanced" than myself...well, several anyway...

People post their latest stuff, and ask opinions....Karl (Actung on Stories Space) asked for some opinions on his latest story, and she gave a somewhat unflattering critique of his story...he did have a lot of very basic errors, like two POV's in the same paragraph for instance...

I had posted the link to "Sexual Healing" on ENE because I had just sold the story to them recently and figured I'd ask her opinion out of curiosity...and she sent me the above...

Some interesting observations...I'll have to go through it again...

7 Jul 2011

Quote by nicola
I think we should charge a monthly fee for a spot in the featured 8

Good luck with that Nicola...I hope you don't have big plans for the money...

6 Jul 2011

...How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? He pondered for a moment if there was some deeply hidden philosophical meaning here, and if perhaps the fate of all mankind depended on his answer...he figured he'd best call...

6 Jul 2011

Quote by gav
I was wondering whether we need to expose the number of blocks someone has received.

I think I may have blocked myself by accident...will this show up in the count???

6 Jul 2011

I recall the evening like it was yesterday, (CLICHÉ) even though it's been over ten years.(*IS THIS LINE NEEDED?) I [stared down at the table and] mindlessly picked at my food while my wife sat silently across from me. Nancy and I had been married almost 25 years at the time. We had been through so much together in those years, good times and bad. Of all that we had been through together, nothing was as tough as this. I just stared down at my plate. I really didn't want Nancy to see the tears that were forming in my eyes.
(**THIS IS WAY TOO HEAVY WITH PASSIVE VOICE. WRITE IT WITHOUT PASSIVE VOICE AND CUT IT IN HALF. WE NEED THE POINT TO BE VIVID, NOT DRAGGING. FOR INSTANCE:
Nancy picked at her food. I couldn't tell potatoes from chicken for my tears. For twenty-five years, we'd weathered good times and bad.
THIS SAYS IT ALL IN LESS THAN HALF THE WORDS. TIGHT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. MOST WRITERS CAN'T SEE PAST THE STORY LINE, BUT IT'S HOW THE STORY IS TOLD, NOT THE STORY ITSELF.)

"What did the doctors say [today anyway=DELETE]?" I [managed to] ask.

(SHE DIVERTED HER EYES.) "They said I have less than a year to live, Gary." [Nancy answered, her eyes diverted.=DELETE]

"[You know those=DELETE] doctors never know what they're talking about." I said indignantly.

There was clearly anger in my voice. (**TELLING INSTEAD OF SHOWING) Anger that Nancy might actually be taken from me. Anger that there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. Anger mixed with my sadness as I sat there staring down at my plate. (**TOO WORDY - TIGHTEN)

[After a while=FLUFF] Nancy [got up](ROSE AS IF WEIGHING FIFTY POUNDS MORE, IN SPITE OF THE FACT SHE'D LOST TWENTY POUNDS.) [ from the table to clear the plates. I had barely eaten a thing.]

"You done with that?" Nancy asked as she reached for my plate. (**GOOD LINE)

"Yeah, just not hungry." I answered [back mindlessly= ADVERB NOT NEEDED].

I watched [my wife] as she cleared the table. She [seemed to move] (MOVED) so slowly these days, never [really] smiling. Her eyes [seemed so] blank, without a trace of joy. [The cancer had taken a lot out of her.] She bore little resemblance to the woman I fell in love with [just over] 25 years ago. [In fact, I barely recognized her these days.= DELETE]
IN CASE YOU ARE WONDERING, [ ] MEANS DELETE.

I sat at the table silently for a few more minutes before getting up. I had to get ready for my night job. I had taken a night job as a security guard several years ago when the kids started college. Our youngest had graduated just over a year ago, but I kept the night job. I figured we could always use the extra money.
(**AVOID ADVERBS - LY WORDS - AND WORDS LIKE GET/GOT, HAD, WAS, WERE, BE, BEING, BEEN, JUST, SOME, FEW, ALWAYS, IT, ALL, THERE, LITTLE, FELT, THING, SOME - THEY ARE CONSIDERED LAZY WORDS AND ARE TO BE USED RARELY BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MANY BETTER AND MORE COLORFUL WORDS TO CHOOSE FROM - WHEN USING THEM, YOU ALMOST ALWAYS TELL INSTEAD OF SHOW)

As I walked out the door that evening, I took another look at my wife. She was still in the kitchen cleaning the dishes from dinner. She seemed to move so slowly. I walked out the door without even saying goodbye.

Basically just going through the motions as if in a trance, I got into my car. As I drove off, my emotions ran the whole spectrum from anger to hurt. I didn't know whether to cry or scream as I drove away. I believe I did both. I felt like cursing God. I cried out loud, "God, why her? Why not take me?" I was like a raving lunatic with tears in his eyes. Nancy meant more to me than you'll ever know.
(**YOU ARE OVERDOING THE WORD "I" - TRY TO WRITE USING IT IN MODERATION - ONCE OR TWICE PER PARAGRAPH TOPS - FIRST PERSON ISN'T AS EASY AS IT SEEMS)

I thought about all that Nancy and I had been through since we had met. When I first met Nancy, I had already been through one failed marriage. I went through a rather debilitating depression following my "failure" and my "solution" was to drown my sorrows in alcohol. In spite of it all, somehow Nancy saw something in me that nobody else saw. A real human being that was hurting and didn't know how to handle it. She showed me love and helped me out of my downhill alcoholic spiral. Nancy did more for me than anyone else in my life ever had. I vowed to myself that I would do anything I could for her. Since our marriage, I always made it a point to be a good provider. To keep Nancy comfortable in any way I could. Alas, all too often that has meant providing her with material things. I wanted so much to help her right now, but I felt so powerless. That feeling was eating me alive from the inside out.

Heading towards the job, all sorts of thoughts started racing through my head. There was a bar on the corner of the block where I worked. I thought about having a drink again. It had been nearly twenty years since I had a drink. I actually walked to the bar and stood in front of the door, literally shaking. Thoughts and emotions were running through me that no human should have to endure. As I stood there momentarily, looking up at the still light sky, a girl walked by selling flowers.

"Flowers, sir?" (s)She asked as she passed.

I just shook my head ['no.' =SHAKING A HEAD MEANS NO, DELETE]

As I stood there for a few short moments, something suddenly hit me. It was as if all the tension was suddenly released from my body. I ran down the block and caught up with the flower girl. (SUDDENLY IS A BIG NO-NO WORD BECAUSE IT'S TELLING INSTEAD OF SHOWING - NO MORE THAN ONCE PER SEVERAL CHAPTERS IS THE RULE}

"Flowers." I panted.

"Yes sir?" She responded.

"Um, flowers. I'll take a bouquet." I said.

I paid the girl and stood there for a moment savoring the delicate scent of the colorful bouquet. A few minutes later I started down the block to the nearest pay phone. I called the night job.

(BEAT HERE) "Um, hello Bill. Yeah, this is Gary. I won't be able to make it in tonight," I started into the phone, "In fact, I am going to have to quit the job. Personal reasons. I'm sorry."

I walked back to the car and got in. In a little while, I was back in my driveway. I parked the car and walked up to the door. Opening it, I concealed the flowers behind my back.

"Gary. You startled me," Nancy exclaimed, "You're home. Don't tell me you lost your job. What happened, Gary?"

"What happened is I quit," I answered as I handed her the flowers, "It's more important that I'm home with my wife."

"Oh, Gary. Flowers! I can't remember the last time you bought me flowers. How sweet."

The truth was, I couldn't remember the last time I bought my wife flowers either. The other thing I couldn't remember was the last time I saw Nancy's eyes light up like they did when I handed her the bouquet. [It warmed my heart to actually see a happy look on the face of my own wife for a change.= YOU ALREADY MADE THE POINT - NO NEED FOR THIS SENTENCE]

"I think we need some music." I said calmly (**AGAIN, AN ADVERB WHICH MEANS YOU ARE TELLING INSTEAD OF SHOWING. SHOW THE READER CALM].

I walked [over] to the radio and put on a cool jazz station. I then took my wife by the hand.

"May I have this dance, my dear?"

She smiled up at me in a way I had not seen in quite some time. I looked in her eyes as we began to sway gently to the music. Emotions started to build up inside of me. I pressed Nancy against me. She was still clutching the bouquet between us. I rested my head on Nancy's shoulder. I didn't want her to see the tears that were welling up in my eyes. As I held my wife close, I wished there was some way her disease could pass into my body. I truly wanted to heal this woman. I truly wanted to take away all her pain.
(**YOU'VE USED LOOK FOUR TIMES IN THIS PIECE - DIVERSIFY)

Even after my wife and I stopped dancing in the middle of the living room, we just held each other close for some time. After a while, I suggested we take a bath together. The last time we did that, I could not tell you.

Gently I led the woman I loved into the bathroom by the hand. I began to run the bath water as I went into another room to find some scented candles I knew we had stashed somewhere. In short order, I came back with the candles, lit them and placed them around the room. I also threw some bath beads in the tub. We both helped each other with getting our clothes off and I held my wife's hand as she stepped into the tub.

We took turns washing each other's hair. Afterwards, I started to lather my wife's body up in delicate fashion, applying messaging pressure where I thought she would enjoy it. I paid special attention to her feet, working the balls of her feet with my thumbs. (**BEGINNING TO SHOW HERE - GOOD - YOU COULD ACTUALLY TAKE THIS A LITTLE FURTHER)

"Oh Gary. That feels so good," she sighed, "I can't remember the last time you did that."

Again, I couldn't either.

As a man, I felt the thing was unfair. But then, life is a lot of things but fair is not one of them. If life was fair this cancer would show its ugly face. I would get it in a ring and deliver it a knockout punch that would make Ali proud. But, I couldn't. All I could do was make my wife's last year on earth the best it could be. All I could do was be there for her. It was the least I could do for the woman I loved, the woman who bore my children. If God chose to take her from me in a year, that was his decision. But making her last days on the planet as enjoyable for her as possible was my decision.

After we got out of the tub, we took turns toweling each other [off]. The areas I dried off, I followed with soft kisses. Then, taking her by the hand, I led Nancy into the bedroom. I softly kissed her on the lips. I delicately nibbled on her earlobes. I ran my lips and fingertips gently down her soft neck. I explored my wife's gorgeous breasts. I took the time to explore and caress every inch of the woman I loved, the woman I married nearly 25 years ago. (**THIRD TIME MENTIONING 25 YEARS - THE READER GETS IT - SAY IT IN ANOTHER MANNER) (**AGAIN, DITCH THE ADVERBS. SHOW US)

I continued my explorations down to her womanhood. I savored her delicate scent, I explored every fold as if it was the first time. I made her juices really start to flow again and when we started to really make love, I took my time to ensure that she received all the pleasure this woman I loved deserved. We eventually came together and lied (LAID)side by side for some time just holding hands.

As I lay there next to Nancy I realized how much I had been neglecting my own wife. Certainly not in any material or financial sense, but in what she really needed. Me.

After that night, we continued to make love on a regular basis. Our lovemaking sessions were always slow and unhurried. We made it a point to satisfy each other. I never felt more satisfied in my life. We also spent far more quiet times together, just taking walks and holding hands.

Then one day something amazing happened. Nancy had what was considered a fairly routine oncologist appointment for some testing. A few days later she got a call from the doctor with her results. The cancer seemed to be in complete remission. There was no detectible trace of the evil cells that were attacking my wife's beautiful body. This was almost seven months to the day since the same doctor told my wife she would have less than a year to live. The doctor said he has never seen anything like it.

They say that love conquers all. Perhaps that is true, we'll never really know. All I know is that my wife is still cancer free to this day. Why the cancer disappeared is something no one on this planet will ever know for sure.

There is something I learned a long time ago. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. I had been neglecting my own wife's needs. The needs of the woman I truly loved. The fact that it took a major illness and threat of death to get me to realize that was a major wake-up call. A call that I answered, fortunately.

That was just over ten years ago. As I sit here holding Nancy's hand on the eve of our 35th anniversary, I reflect back on how truly lucky I really am. Lucky to have someone to truly love and who is always in my corner for me. Sometimes I feel like I am the luckiest man in the world. Perhaps I am. It's just a shame it took so much to get me to realize it.
(**THE STORY IS GOOD, BUT IT'S TOO LONG WHICH TAKES AWAY FROM THE FEELING, IMO. YOU COULD ADD MORE LAYERS, IF YOU LIKE, WHERE HE DOES MORE THINGS BEFORE HE GOES HOME, OR GOES TO WORK BEFORE RESIGNING. HE COULD REMEMBER OTHER GOOD TIMES TOGETHER AS THEY ARE RELAXING AND LOVING. BUT YOU'VE GOT TO SHOW AND AVOID REPETITION. YOU SAY SOMETHING, THEN SAY IT AGAIN, THEN SAY IT AGAIN, ONLY IN DIFFERENT WORDS. VERY COMMON FOR NEW WRITERS. WATCH ALL THE "SOFT" WORDS YOU'RE USING - I LISTED THEM EARLIER. THERE'S A LOT TO WRITING FICTION - MORESO THAN MOST WRITERS KNOW UNTIL THEY'VE ATTENDED CLASSES, BEEN EDITED BY A PROFESSIONAL OR STUDIED FOR YEARS. I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOU'LL HAVE A MUCH BETTER PIECE IF YOU TAKE A LONG TIME TO PULL THIS PIECE AROUND. IT WOULD MAKE A GRAND CHICKEN SOUP STORY. DON'T TAKE THAT AS AN INSULT. IT FITS THE MOLD WELL FOR THEIR BOOKS. LOOK AT THE THEMES THEY ARE SEEKING NOW AT WWW.CHICKENSOUP.COM )

C. Hope Clark
Editor, FundsforWriters, www.fundsforwriters.com
Writer's Digest 101 Best Web Sites for Writers - 2001-2011
Over a decade of recognized excellence
Blog - www.hopeclark.blogspot.com
Twitter - www.twitter.com/hopeclark
Facebook - www.facebook.com/chopeclark
About.me - http://about.me/hopeclark

5 Jul 2011

Here's a link someone just posted over in one of the LinkedIn writing groups on the subject of "revision" vs. "editing"...

Someone can read it and tell us what it says...
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/style/rev-edit.htm

5 Jul 2011

Quote by scooter

Biking, you have to make the decision; should I wear a lame ass helmet for safety, or not?
Swimming would be: should I always use the buddy system, even tho I'm alone?

I can't find any faults with having sex yet.....(:

You should use the buddy system when having sex as well, Scooter...

And wear a helmet...for your own protection... icon_smile

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5 Jul 2011

Quote by Loislane
and if you have joint issues swimming is an all around good cardio exercise with less impact on the joints

People I've known over the years who have had problems related to jogging it always seems to be joint issues...and swimming is great, because it's "less impact" as they say...your feet constantly pounding the pavement can take a toll over time...

Never known anyone to have any heart related issues from jogging...

5 Jul 2011

Quote by chefkathleen
Whew! What a party! It got quiet down there so I thought I'd poke my head out. Did Scooter blow up the Ohio river or Lake Erie?

Don't know yet Chef...though there were some unconfirmed reports of a jet-powered scooter seen passing over the lake...

5 Jul 2011

Good Morning Lushketeers...nice to see everyone still alive...

Quote by chefkathleen

You could be right. I think there might still be a bomb shelter near by. Maybe they'll let me use it if I bring something to eat and/or drink.

I was thinking the same thing as you Chef...heck with backyard picnics...time to bring the grill down into the shelter... icon_smile

icon_smile

Well, I see Scooter's little fireworks experiment did not cause the end of the world as some were predicting...just another false Armageddon prediction...there seems to be a lot of those lately...

Any coffee left? I could use a cup...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

5 Jul 2011

Quote by eviotis
I think Dirty deserves a spanky for not publishing his poetry here.

I think it's pretty safe to say that any poem I have in the erotic or love poem category is on Lush...and anything else is on Stories Space...

5 Jul 2011

Deleting people doesn't stop chat requests though...you my want to just set your status to "away" more often...or as CurlyGirly says "block them" if it's a problem...

4 Jul 2011

Quote by Shinzon
To allow them to continue, allows your value as a writer to be compromised. Yes, they get a lot of views but is it really worth it?

No...I agree with you totally, if they continue I will have no choice but to pull them...

I was hoping to make people here aware who are probably also affected so that we can all voice our objection and hopefully get things changed back to the way they were...

But yes...if this continues like this, I'll have no choice but to pull them...

4 Jul 2011

Quote by nicola
You guys have got it good here, don't forget it!

How can we forget? You keep reminding us... icon_smile

icon_smile

I happen to post my poems on a few poetry sites, and I have to say that my poems get more views both here and on Stories Space than any of the poetry sites except Poetry Craze, which is why I'm not in a hurry to pull my stuff from there...

Poetry sites in general don't get a lot of views...if you get a couple hundred views on a poem on a poetry site it's good...

Got Poetry, for instance, gives a badge "Pop" next to a poem if it gets 500 views...sort of like a "famous story" here...lol...and the only poems that seem to cross the 500 mark are the sex poems...go figure...

Poetry Craze is sort of a crappy little site...but, it's the only poetry site I know of where the poems get thousands of views....

4 Jul 2011

Quote by chefkathleen

That's cause I butter yer muffin the way you like it.

Hey Chef...I thought we were keeping that whole butter and muffin thing hush-hush, if you know what I mean...

If you want, I could probably through it into a scene in my next Diet Coke story...just saying...

4 Jul 2011

The original Stone Rollers... icon_smile

icon_smile

3 Jul 2011

Quote by Lisa
Diet Coke is sexy. The shape of the bottle, the fizz of the bubbles, it all really gets me going.

I can see a story idea in the making there Lisa...

"Turned On By A Diet Coke"...can't wait to read that one...

2 Jul 2011

I agree with ChefK...

Of course, I always agree with ChefK... icon_smile

icon_smile

2 Jul 2011

Hi Miss Holly...

Quote by RumpleForeskin

Hope everyone has a happy (and safe)th, especially Scooter and anyone standing nearby.

Btw...we are still trying to figure out the closest "safe spot" to be this weekend with Scooter mixing explosives...

It's not looking good, I can tell you that...but, we're working on it...

2 Jul 2011

Quote by chefkathleen

Mine was lima beans. I'd swallow them whole.Pyn7stb6XIteMdmS

I hate lima beans...not a lot of foods I dislike really, but lima beans qualify...

I miss the family gathering at my grandparents when I was a kid...

All my grandparents are dead now...the last to go was Grandma Jankowski in 2007...she was 102 years old...

Motorcycle accident...

Sorry, I'm joking there... icon_smile

icon_smile

Shame she had to die so young though...

But really, I did enjoy the family gatherings when I was a kid...

2 Jul 2011

Good Afternoon Lushers and Lushettes...nice to see you again boss, as always... Liar

Liar

Uh hum...oh yeah...I think Mr. Shameless may have came and left more than once since you were gone...I sort of lost track of that fellow...

Last time he came back under the name BudIce, obviously trying to pass himself off as a beer, no doubt in a bogus effort to attract women with some cheesy pick-up line like "Can I get you a BudIce?"...

You know how that stuff works Mr. Rumple...you've been around the block a few times yourself no doubt...

(bites tongue hard trying to resist throwing in an old age joke)...

Anyway...if you haven't heard, we finally got rid of that Exakta66 guy as well...no doubt he skipped town in a desperate attempt to avoid paying his bar tab...which I believe at this point needs to be expressed in scientific notation to fit on a page...

That boy was nothing but trouble anyway...it's a lot better without his kind around here...

Let me get a couple of Dirty Martinis while I'm here... Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Just, um, put them on Exakta66's tab...I'm sure he'll stop back to pay it one of these years...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

2 Jul 2011

Quote by Magical_felix
I don't feel entitled to anything but if she wont give me head then she probably isn't all that into me. When I decide to have sex with a girl it's because I want to do every damn thing with her not just screw.

Very well put there Magical... icon_smile

icon_smile

I have nothing to add...

2 Jul 2011

Quote by Kayte7
Jeeeeeeeeez... they edited "breast" and "pussy"?????

You don't think it's funny they removed the word "piss" from "Life Is What It Seems?"

I was just looking over some of my poems there...it's actually a bit comical at this point, I think they are starting with the oldest ones for now...poems like " Is Best" which I posted in September 2010, have not been touched yet...

It's funny to see some of the stuff they find objectionable...the word "whore" for instance from "Be My Little Whore Tonight" is removed from the poem, but is still in the title...
http://exakta66.poetrycraze.com/be_my_little_whore_tonight-14434.html

And notice the word "ass" is removed, and "pussy" in one instance, but not the other... dontknow

dontknow

Yeah, by the time to get to stuff like " Is Best" the poem is just going to be a bunch of bleeps...so far it's intact...
http://exakta66.poetrycraze.com/incest_is_best-18848.html

Right now I'm spreading the word to people I know here and on SS...and I e-mailed Jim Sularz, who is a contest winner over there to spread the word around that this is happening...

If it doesn't stop, I will have no choice but to remove my stuff...shame really...

2 Jul 2011

Hey Bunny...nice to hear from you, btw...I agree with you totally, and that seems to be the initial reaction of everyone I talked to this morning...

I've been posting on Poetry Craze for about as long as I've been on Lush...I joined both in October 2009, and they have never edited anything before...

This is apparently something that happened very recently...I decided I'm going to wait a week or two and see what happens...I know I'm not the only one affected...I know all of Don's poems must have got "edited" for instance...

I can't see other poets taking this quietly...quite a few poets post stuff that is not necessarily G-rated over there...so, I can't see this situation lasting...

I can't believe they had a problem with the word "piss"... laughing6

laughing6

I'm trying to maintain a sense of humor about the situation at the moment...but yeah, if they don't change stuff back, I guess I'll have to pull stuff...at least the one's that were "edited"...

2 Jul 2011

Btw...if you really want to see something pitiful...read what they did to my poem "Bang You Hard"...

http://exakta66.poetrycraze.com/bang_you_hard-11772.html

I'm afraid to look too much farther...but, people on Lush should be aware...I know Jacquie, Pete, Don, Yasmin, and no doubt others post over there...those people just come to mind off the top of my head...