A tale of my past. I used to be a proper horny little cunt. I mean, I still am, but I’m now a loyal horny cunt. Happy to have a wank rather than go wandering nowadays, but back in the day…. This is one from the memory bank. I am recalling the events as they happened, so there won’t be much dialogue as such. So, it all started when I got my tax return. Wasn’t much, £900 or so, but it was a lot for me at the time. I was pla...

As me and Jessica fled the scene, we headed for the cliff-side gardens overlooking the beach. We found a pavilion and took a pew on the bench there. Jessica asked me to roll a spliff, a request to which I gladly obliged. I skin up and we sat, puffing away, drinking more cognac. “I still can’t believe you fucking squirted all over my jeans” I said, laughing as I passed her the joint. “They’ll dry off, and besides, you’ll n...