Top Shot
Chesh, take a look at my sig line. A really good look. The last line specifically. Maybe even click on the linky link thingy if you still don't understand why that last line is so important.
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
HeraTeleia
Over 90 days ago
Straight Cis Female
Canada
Forum
Top Shot
Quote by SereneProdigy
I recognize people here every goddamn day...
Just last week I recognized Zuzana Kourilova, Fanny Modin, Bella Tanner, Chloe Boucher, Rita Granberry, and I think I even bumped into Mrs. Emilianna.
No big deal, you get used to it after a while.
It amazes me how many porn stars are on this site, no? And under totally different names! And on multiple profiles!
Top Shot
Pear or apple cider (the hard kind), preferably from Finn's River Farms or Stella Artois, chased by a shot of good bourbon (I like Maker's Mark). I'd love to have one, or two, and naming it the Jen would be lovely, thank you.
So, the real question is, do I deserve a Rumplations Recommended Read? Because I knocked that "Blood Lust" out last night in something under an hour--between second dinner and "thirdsies", which are both totally a thing here at Chez Jennifer--and I'm really not sure.
So, the real question is, do I deserve a Rumplations Recommended Read? Because I knocked that "Blood Lust" out last night in something under an hour--between second dinner and "thirdsies", which are both totally a thing here at Chez Jennifer--and I'm really not sure.
Top Shot
*hopping up and down* It got approved! Ironically, this is my first true love story--fucked up, yes, but a love story nonetheless. And it got the blue thumb!
I am going to make a big exception to my no self-promotion thing and tell everyone staggering in (and those staggering in, or out, please do kick those passed out on the floor to wake them up) to go read and score my new (and first of 2017) story right now. Please?
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/taboo/blood-lust.aspx
Aaaand some fucker already low scored it...knocking it down to a 4.5. So please, go read and score it.
I am going to make a big exception to my no self-promotion thing and tell everyone staggering in (and those staggering in, or out, please do kick those passed out on the floor to wake them up) to go read and score my new (and first of 2017) story right now. Please?
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/taboo/blood-lust.aspx
Aaaand some fucker already low scored it...knocking it down to a 4.5. So please, go read and score it.
Top Shot
Usually write at night, or possibly during the day, or whenever, really, since it has to be when I'm not at work and generally when the boys are at school, asleep or otherwise securely occupied. I don't need to feel "inspired", and "disciplined" is definitely not my style--it'd be nice to be able to set aside X amount of time per day or week or month to write, but that is not a possibility in my life.
I work in solitude, in the sense (see above) that I don't have short people milling around. I like to have music on, period, when I'm online, whether writing or editing or reading the Google News pages. Doesn't matter. I have no writing rituals, unless you count "obsessively checking manually for spelling and/or grammatical and/or form errors" as a ritual, which is something that I definitely do. I do not use either a spell check or grammar check programme. Never have, and never will. I do use the APA guide on occasion.
Pretty much stuck with writing on my desktop in the dining/kitchen area of my house. Chisel and stone tablet would be cool, but there's the mess, and then of course the whole lack of a copy and paste function.
To be perfectly honest, at least a solid 8 of my 13 posted stories have been written and edited in the space of time it takes for the lasagna to bake, or the rice to cook. "Dinner", "Second Dinner", and "Thirdsies" are a real thing in my house. Thus the short word count on most of my stories.
I work in solitude, in the sense (see above) that I don't have short people milling around. I like to have music on, period, when I'm online, whether writing or editing or reading the Google News pages. Doesn't matter. I have no writing rituals, unless you count "obsessively checking manually for spelling and/or grammatical and/or form errors" as a ritual, which is something that I definitely do. I do not use either a spell check or grammar check programme. Never have, and never will. I do use the APA guide on occasion.
Pretty much stuck with writing on my desktop in the dining/kitchen area of my house. Chisel and stone tablet would be cool, but there's the mess, and then of course the whole lack of a copy and paste function.
To be perfectly honest, at least a solid 8 of my 13 posted stories have been written and edited in the space of time it takes for the lasagna to bake, or the rice to cook. "Dinner", "Second Dinner", and "Thirdsies" are a real thing in my house. Thus the short word count on most of my stories.
Top Shot
Quote by HeraTeleia
Now I'm wondering if an Oxford comma shaped cock would be different from a regular comma shaped cock. Dammit.
Quote by PhilU
Well, probably lots of guys wouldn't know how to use it, lots of guys would try to insert it in the wrong place, and lots of women would say that they don't want me to insert mine at all.
And then there would be the guys with the Oxford comma shaped cock who have yet to figure out what it is...
Top Shot
Fuck. This day suddenly took a turn for the very bad. And I'm waiting on a story to be approved--my first in the category. It should've been a Flash, but it ran a bit long, somewhere around 1300 words. Because detail.
Hit me with whatever the fuck is the hardest drink in this bar, please, Bill, and do it several times over, that would be lovely, thanks.
Hit me with whatever the fuck is the hardest drink in this bar, please, Bill, and do it several times over, that would be lovely, thanks.
Top Shot
Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
What if the cock in question were shaped like a question mark? That would be strange, wouldn't it?
Quote by 69Kisses96
I think I read about that in the Comma Sutra.
Now I'm wondering if an Oxford comma shaped cock would be different from a regular comma shaped cock. Dammit.
Top Shot
I'm not sure this is a "fixable" thing, but I have spent substantial time and energy on a collaboration, partly to knock out a collab but mostly to help the person with whom I was collaborating submit his first story.
Unfortunately, this person ...long story short, he sent a rather cryptic message about our relationship (what relationship, now?) and how he couldn't handle it (what, again, now?) so now I'm stuck with a story that I spent hours weedwhacking and messing with and otherwise devoting energy to, energy that could have been directed elsewhere, and fuck if I know what to do with it. I don't believe that it would be ethical to submit it solely under my own name, but I'm pretty sure that if I submit it as a collab, he'll not agree to be named as a co-author.
Options? Right now it looks like "forget it exists" and "submit as collab knowing co-author will refuse" are my only options. Just want some kind of reassurance that these are, in fact, my only options.
Unfortunately, this person ...long story short, he sent a rather cryptic message about our relationship (what relationship, now?) and how he couldn't handle it (what, again, now?) so now I'm stuck with a story that I spent hours weedwhacking and messing with and otherwise devoting energy to, energy that could have been directed elsewhere, and fuck if I know what to do with it. I don't believe that it would be ethical to submit it solely under my own name, but I'm pretty sure that if I submit it as a collab, he'll not agree to be named as a co-author.
Options? Right now it looks like "forget it exists" and "submit as collab knowing co-author will refuse" are my only options. Just want some kind of reassurance that these are, in fact, my only options.
Top Shot
MMF is on the list of "things I'd like to experience sexually sometime before age 45". FFM isn't. Fairly simple, no?
Top Shot
If you're with me, and I'm with you, then I'm with you. So cheating? No, no, and also? No. The reverse applies as well.
Top Shot
Never have experienced it on my face...but honestly, I don't care where he cums, as long as he cums and his orgasm is a direct or indirect result of my actions.
Top Shot
Morning everyone! Before you stagger off to wherever you plan on staggering off to today, please click on the linky link and wish our most awesome code monkey a Happy Birthday. Please. Do not make me ask twice. 
https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst55815_Want-Lush-To-Keep-Running--Wish-Gav-A-Happy-Birthday.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst55815_Want-Lush-To-Keep-Running--Wish-Gav-A-Happy-Birthday.aspx
Top Shot
It's our darling code monkey/server farm running/all around awesome Gav's birthday! Yah, the quiet one who has a stormtrooper avatar? He keeps the whole damn place running and running well. Wish him a Happy Birthday right now!
Top Shot
Quote by browncoffee
Oh oh oh... Whaddaya think of my forum signature???
I love it. I need to get Dirty_D to do one for me when I finish my comp entry...which is being such a fucker, but "pure filth"? Yah, I can do pure filth.
Top Shot
Quote by honeydipped
this thread always makes me chuckle lol check your pubes...right...NOW! (cos we know they grow in the blink of an eye)
Yah, I mean, those buggers will just go from smooth to raging full bush in nine seconds flat!!
On the OP's question/poll/whatever, there's no "professionally waxed smooth" or "laser treated and smooth" option. Major fail there, methinks.
Me, I currently (and have for over a decade) have everything from navel to knees professionally waxed absolutely smooth. I just landed a Groupon for laser hair removal, though, so I'll be starting that in...a week? Supposed to take six treatments but the technician thinks it will take fewer for me--something about having very fair skin and very dark hair means that the laser removal thing is more effective, faster.
Top Shot
Chesh, welcome. Have a seat anywhere that doesn't look sticky....ermm, okay, maybe just throw down some towelling on one of the barstools. Might be faster.
Terrence the Tarantula is a sweetheart, he likes a good pet from me, does Terrence...but again, maybe just pay for the stale pistachios he's in charge of guarding instead of trying your luck. Getting tarantula hairs (Terrence is so awesome, he can both bite you and throw barbed hairs--it's a tarantula thing) out of your palm and fingers is no fun.
If you hear noises from the stockroom, disregard. Especially if it's myself and Mike, or myself and Phil, or H. and whomever, or...anyway, if there's any combination of two or more people in the stockroom, there is absolutely no reason to investigate noises emanating from said stockroom.
Just...yah, you're lucky to have come out unshanked. I love H., she's brilliant and funny and lovely and caring and talented, but she will kill you six ways to Sunday. Almost 99.5% positive on that one.
Anyway, the liquor is of questionable origin here, but is served strong and heavily poured. Plus the place just reeks of awesomeness (also: other things that will go unmentioned). All--what is it now, five?--Awesome Award recipients have been Rump Regulars. You literally pick up the awesome through osmosis. Anyway, welcome.
Terrence the Tarantula is a sweetheart, he likes a good pet from me, does Terrence...but again, maybe just pay for the stale pistachios he's in charge of guarding instead of trying your luck. Getting tarantula hairs (Terrence is so awesome, he can both bite you and throw barbed hairs--it's a tarantula thing) out of your palm and fingers is no fun.
If you hear noises from the stockroom, disregard. Especially if it's myself and Mike, or myself and Phil, or H. and whomever, or...anyway, if there's any combination of two or more people in the stockroom, there is absolutely no reason to investigate noises emanating from said stockroom.
Quote by chesh78
The pleasure is all mine - I'm still relatively new to the site, and accidentally found myself here in the bar after following Hannah down a dark alley.
Just...yah, you're lucky to have come out unshanked. I love H., she's brilliant and funny and lovely and caring and talented, but she will kill you six ways to Sunday. Almost 99.5% positive on that one.
Anyway, the liquor is of questionable origin here, but is served strong and heavily poured. Plus the place just reeks of awesomeness (also: other things that will go unmentioned). All--what is it now, five?--Awesome Award recipients have been Rump Regulars. You literally pick up the awesome through osmosis. Anyway, welcome.
Top Shot
Quote by sprite
*purrs* Set up a meeting place in Amsterdam. Make it a Friday. Plan on being gone for 3 days. Trust me. *grins*
The idea of H. and Her Royal Spriteness together makes me very, very afraid. I swear that after my youngest was hit by a car I was genuinely terrified of telling H. that I wasn't submitting a poem for the "Passion" comp. Figured she might very well hop a flight out of Heathrow for the express purpose of kneecapping me, youngest having been hit by a car or no.
Oh, and just for grins, this is my youngest's summary of being hit: I was walking across the crosswalk, the lights were flashing (this was a marked, lighted crosswalk in a school zone), then I was flying, and that was cool, but then I landed, and it hurt. Also my clarinet was way away (it was knocked ~15 feet out of his hands) and I thought the fire trucks were going to run it over, but they didn't, because the nice lady (one of many witnesses who stopped) went and got it! Also I got lots of stickers! And a bunch of Beanie Babies!
Yah, it's awesome being a kid. What I'd like to know is how the first 911 call came in to dispatch at 1612 (4:12p Pacific) and the first unit--an engine--to arrive on scene arrived at 1614 (4:14p). I actually asked the investigating officer how that could happen without, you know, time travel or something. He just shrugged and said, well, a pedestrian v. vehicle is a true emergency, and a child pedestrian v. vehicle is a "drive over cars" emergency. I still don't even know what that means.
Rachel, good to hear that things are kind of sort of back on track. You have my number. Use it when you need it, dammit. Doesn't matter if I'm asleep or working or whatever--my phone is always either on me or next to me, you know that, and you know that I'll call back or text back or whatever as soon as humanly possible.
Drinking a lovely bottle of Finn's Farms Blackcurrant Cider tonight, I actually have tomorrow off. So I'm good, Bill.
Top Shot
I can't even remember. October of last year, maybe? October. Probably.
Top Shot
I have unfortunately never stolen anything with intent, ever. Had a rather fearful upbringing and even now am careful to carry items I intend to purchase in clear view. I can only claim to perhaps bringing home the odd pen or roll of bandaging tape with my work stuff.
Oddly, a big thing in my profession is stethoscopes--given that a good model (like a 3M Littmann Master Cardiology) can run into the hundreds of dollars, those commonly go missing. I had two (one a Littmann Cardiology III, one a Littmann Master Classic II) go missing before I bought a clue--now my work steths are all bright rose pink, with my name professionally laser engraved on the binaural yoke (tubing), and even the black Littmann Master Cardiology I keep in my "go bag" has my name similarly engraved in the same place. It's not just someone wandering off with the wrong stethoscope--it's patients who know that a steth can be resold on eBay, or even residents who can't yet afford a good steth and figure well, it's here and pocket it. Well, whatever you would call looping it around your neck.
Oddly, a big thing in my profession is stethoscopes--given that a good model (like a 3M Littmann Master Cardiology) can run into the hundreds of dollars, those commonly go missing. I had two (one a Littmann Cardiology III, one a Littmann Master Classic II) go missing before I bought a clue--now my work steths are all bright rose pink, with my name professionally laser engraved on the binaural yoke (tubing), and even the black Littmann Master Cardiology I keep in my "go bag" has my name similarly engraved in the same place. It's not just someone wandering off with the wrong stethoscope--it's patients who know that a steth can be resold on eBay, or even residents who can't yet afford a good steth and figure well, it's here and pocket it. Well, whatever you would call looping it around your neck.
Top Shot
Quote by sprite
all of my avatars are really me - I'm a master (mistress?) of disguise.
And that is why I am terrified of a blue Ford Ranger stalking me as I walk the dogs should I happen to cross you. You'll kneecap me and be halfway back across the bridge before I can even figure out what just happened. Not that I wouldn't love you anyway, and forgive you, and probably apologise, too, for being in the way of your baseball bat, on account of my being Canadian.
Top Shot
Is it possible? Real, actual love (whatever your particular definition of that term may be)? No. Not if the relationship is exclusively online. Lush is a merry-go-round of online-only relationships and the drama is just a lot of stupidness.
Now, toss in some texting, phone calls, a meet up or twenty...then yes, I imagine it might be possible, even probable. Certainly Milik/Simplicity and Verbal/LaylaJune are excellent examples of this (also, of the man definitely marrying up, in both cases).
Me? I am too much of a cynic, too complicated and too careful, to fall in love anywhere, online or off. With anyone. Ever.
Now, toss in some texting, phone calls, a meet up or twenty...then yes, I imagine it might be possible, even probable. Certainly Milik/Simplicity and Verbal/LaylaJune are excellent examples of this (also, of the man definitely marrying up, in both cases).
Me? I am too much of a cynic, too complicated and too careful, to fall in love anywhere, online or off. With anyone. Ever.
Top Shot
Right now? Ermm, no? Did I miss something? Now I feel like I missed something. Dammit.
Top Shot
Quote by sprite
Using all uppercase letters works even better!
Oh yes!! Oh yes!! OH YESSSS!!! I'm CUMMINGGGGGG!!!
Of course upper case is the best!!! With lots of exclamation points!!! Because that's totally how real human actual beings sound when we are involved in sexual activity, and as a reader, I can only gauge the intensity of the character's orgasm by the capitalisation or lack thereof of the letters in words and the use of exclamation points!!!
Top Shot
Quote by Smoocher
Have you ever had a duh moment when you realized days, weeks, months later that they wanted sex and you would have cooperated except for the "duh moment".
Yup. Too many to count...not necessarily all for sex, per se, but for dinner, or drinks, or otherwise demonstrating romantic interest that went right whoosh past me.
Example: Me, kneeling over an azalea at a public fallen officer's memorial that I tend to...anyway, kneeling, hands in the dirt, trooper I don't know bends down and starts with the small talk. I start muttering about azaleas, somewhere in there he works in that he's off shift, would I like to go to dinner. Me, oblivious, responding with something like no, I need to check the irrigation (sprinkler) system. Trooper stands up, I stand up, he starts again with the small talk (give the guy points for effort) and I, because I'm freaking oblivious, ask him if he could just watch the sprinklers while I go mess with the programming of the irrigation system, which he does--getting a little more than wet in the process.
So I come back outside to a well-sprinkled trooper (sergeant, I realised later), still standing there, and again he asks if I'm hungry, would I like to go home, I look fine to him but if I need a bit to go clean up, would I like to go to dinner with him. Me...yah. I said something like no, I'm not really hungry, the sprinklers look good, thank you for watching them for me, I've got lasagna going for the boys, and I've got to go home and walk the dogs.
Yerp. Freaking oblivious. I think that one took three days for me to buy a clue and an awkward conversation to clear up. I pretty much have to be beaten over the head with flowers to get a clue...and even then, I might just think that the guy is offering to help plant some geraniums around the Memorial.
