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HeraTeleia
1 month ago
Straight Cis Female
Canada
Forum
Top Shot
I use the words "pussy", "sex" (as in, "her pink, swollen sex"), and "cunt" most often in my pieces, followed by a herd of assorted other terms as deemed appropriate to the situation. Never have used "vagina"--too clinical.
Top Shot
Being out with a s/o or boyfriend or whatever, someone with whom you're already intimate, and having him touch and "grope" you when you're in a public place, is distinctly different from a stranger doing the same, discreetly or not.
The main difference with me is, if it's my s/o, then the evening ends with kisses and more. If it's a stranger, then the evening ends with me administering first aid to a guy I just knocked out, stabilising him until paramedics arrive.
The main difference with me is, if it's my s/o, then the evening ends with kisses and more. If it's a stranger, then the evening ends with me administering first aid to a guy I just knocked out, stabilising him until paramedics arrive.
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A double of whatever Mad is having, with a double Drambuie chaser, neat, please. These shifts are killing me. Literally. I think my feet and left shoulder have served notice that they intend to secede from the union. I believe the they sent read "Fuck this nursing shit, you should've gone to law school."
Mike, Jeff, I'm so sorry, work has interfered with my whole collaborating/editing thing. Hannah, I still want to do a collaboration, but since "I want to do a collaboration" is all my brain can muster right now, it's on the back burner. On a different stovetop. In a different house.
Buz, I heard something somewhere in the last 48 hours that the Falcons lost the Super Bowl. My condolences, and a hug.
Looking forward to the advent of Spring Training. Having been a Mariners fan since...well, since forever, I'm sure that this is their year. It has to be. No other year has been their year, except 1995, when they let their fans smell the faint smell of victory...but only smell it. Chicago's won, Boston's won, all I'm asking is that the Mariners have the chance to win the Series.
Okay. Hoping everyone is well. *gives soft pets to Terrence the Tarantula*
Mike, Jeff, I'm so sorry, work has interfered with my whole collaborating/editing thing. Hannah, I still want to do a collaboration, but since "I want to do a collaboration" is all my brain can muster right now, it's on the back burner. On a different stovetop. In a different house.
Buz, I heard something somewhere in the last 48 hours that the Falcons lost the Super Bowl. My condolences, and a hug.
Looking forward to the advent of Spring Training. Having been a Mariners fan since...well, since forever, I'm sure that this is their year. It has to be. No other year has been their year, except 1995, when they let their fans smell the faint smell of victory...but only smell it. Chicago's won, Boston's won, all I'm asking is that the Mariners have the chance to win the Series.
Okay. Hoping everyone is well. *gives soft pets to Terrence the Tarantula*
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Had my ears pierced when I was about four years old. That's about the extent of my journey into piercings. Earrings.
Top Shot
I'd not even seen any kind of porn until very recently, and it really didn't do much for me. Too fixated on the details--the awful blandness of the room, the stilted conversation, etc.--to actually enjoy watching the porn. Pretty sure I'll stick to reading well-written literary erotica, here or in print.
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Wash them. Kind of important to maintain cleanliness when it comes to high-quality sex toys.
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Mine is me. Just me. Mostly b/c when I realised that I needed an avatar, I didn't know that Lush had stock avis and I didn't have the patience to do a Google Image search. So I ran upstairs and took the pic that became my avatar in about 45 seconds with my Nokia 810.
As to showing my face--not in my avatar, no, but a pic of a slightly disheveled version of me is in my gallery, visible to friends.
As to showing my face--not in my avatar, no, but a pic of a slightly disheveled version of me is in my gallery, visible to friends.
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The first cut freesia arriving at the florist's shop. Hyacinth and tulips and daffodils, their green tops barely peeking out of the ground. Reminders that Spring will eventually arrive.
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Wow, so much going on here. Hannah, Mike, congratulations on your new awards! Laura, TY for schooling Bill in Maori.
Mike, Jeff, this weekend is going to be crazy busy, so I might not shoot back your pieces until Monday.
Bill, toddling off to bed, may I have a nice toddy before toddling?
Mike, Jeff, this weekend is going to be crazy busy, so I might not shoot back your pieces until Monday.
Bill, toddling off to bed, may I have a nice toddy before toddling?
Top Shot
My partner? He can do whatever he wants with my panties, except wear them. A stranger? Ummm....no. No, I do not want a stranger sniffing my panties, be they "used" or clean panties. No.
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Thank you, Ms. B., and yes, most awesome drumroll ever. Even Hank managed to haul his fat self off of the carpet to look at that GIF. 
Top Shot
Buz, Sweetwater Brewery? Just out of curiosity, is that sold outside of the South? Sam Adams can be had anywhere, but I've never heard of Sweetwater.
The Pacific Northwest and Lower Mainland is rife with microbrews, both local and from far-flung places, but even my brother, a true beer aficionado, hadn't heard of Sweetwater. The bottles, oddly, look a great deal like New Belgium Brewing's bottles (NBB is out of CO, I believe). Their Trippel Ale is by far one of my favourites. Another local favourite gone national is Pyramid Brewery, which is now brewing all over but started in Seattle--their Hefeweizen and Apricot Ale were both served at my wedding in lieu of champagne--because at the time, six kegs of either could be had at a bargain price if you picked the kegs up at the brewery itself. Not so much anymore.
FTR, we did have champagne at my wedding...I think that might be where that horrid looking bottle of Moët et Chandon Champagne that I gave Mike a few days ago might've originated. The Champagne survived the wedding...and the marriage. So there's that. Not entirely sure that Mike survived whatever the Champagne may have turned into in the interim years.
Anyway. I digress. Jeff, thank you for forwarding the second (or third?) PDF, it's on my lap now. Mike, yah, sort of at a loss re the comp...poring over the rules, the story appears to need to be specifically about her, and even more specifically about what it is that she's looking for, which sort of blows my initial thinking, about the contents of her (way-too-expensive-for-a-hitchhiker) suitcase and how it relates to her ending up beside the road.
Laura, it doesn't really ever get truly hot here--nothing like Australia, for sure, or even like most of the rest of Canada and the United States in the summer, because we have a "temperate marine climate"--but still, a good vodka tonic, with mint and lime, on the warmer days is nice. Or a Caipirinha, if you can find the sugar cane liquor (cachaça). If you can't, replace it with gin and you have a Caipibrit--both are very tasty.
I'm sure that Hannah is off pounding out something brilliant for the comp, so no worries, Bill.
Okay, off to herd boys to bed and then to pore over Jeff's story.
The Pacific Northwest and Lower Mainland is rife with microbrews, both local and from far-flung places, but even my brother, a true beer aficionado, hadn't heard of Sweetwater. The bottles, oddly, look a great deal like New Belgium Brewing's bottles (NBB is out of CO, I believe). Their Trippel Ale is by far one of my favourites. Another local favourite gone national is Pyramid Brewery, which is now brewing all over but started in Seattle--their Hefeweizen and Apricot Ale were both served at my wedding in lieu of champagne--because at the time, six kegs of either could be had at a bargain price if you picked the kegs up at the brewery itself. Not so much anymore.
FTR, we did have champagne at my wedding...I think that might be where that horrid looking bottle of Moët et Chandon Champagne that I gave Mike a few days ago might've originated. The Champagne survived the wedding...and the marriage. So there's that. Not entirely sure that Mike survived whatever the Champagne may have turned into in the interim years.
Anyway. I digress. Jeff, thank you for forwarding the second (or third?) PDF, it's on my lap now. Mike, yah, sort of at a loss re the comp...poring over the rules, the story appears to need to be specifically about her, and even more specifically about what it is that she's looking for, which sort of blows my initial thinking, about the contents of her (way-too-expensive-for-a-hitchhiker) suitcase and how it relates to her ending up beside the road.
Laura, it doesn't really ever get truly hot here--nothing like Australia, for sure, or even like most of the rest of Canada and the United States in the summer, because we have a "temperate marine climate"--but still, a good vodka tonic, with mint and lime, on the warmer days is nice. Or a Caipirinha, if you can find the sugar cane liquor (cachaça). If you can't, replace it with gin and you have a Caipibrit--both are very tasty.
I'm sure that Hannah is off pounding out something brilliant for the comp, so no worries, Bill.
Okay, off to herd boys to bed and then to pore over Jeff's story.
Top Shot
There's a reason that they're called Come Fuck Me heels. As in, these heels are so high that you need to come to me, not vice versa.
I own a few pairs of CFM heels, and when I put them on, it's not because I plan on going dancing or going off for a long romantic walk or really doing anything that requires me to be standing unsupported for any length of time. Of the pairs of shoes that I own that fall into the CFM category, the highest heel is 4 1/2", which is much like being en pointe in ballet; the lowest heel is right about 3 3/4".
Goodness, Bethany, you and I have quite the opposite problem...I wear a size 12 (true size is a 11.5, but half sizes aren't really a thing much past size 11), it's probably as stupidly difficult for you to find CFM heels--or shoes at all--in your size as it is for me to find anything at all in my size. That said, much past a 4" heel height, I think we're all essentially bearing all of our weight on our toes. No problem with my wearing the CFM heels, but lots of problems if I try to do anything much beyond standing still (and even that is difficult) or walking short distances with my very attentive s/o by my side to lend support.
Side note: Falling whilst wearing CFM or close to it heels--super not fun. Been there, done that. I wasn't even doing anything; I'd just stepped out of the car and bam! gravity attacked. Very lucky to escape with merely some scrapes on my palms and knees and a wee bit of damage to my dignity.
I own a few pairs of CFM heels, and when I put them on, it's not because I plan on going dancing or going off for a long romantic walk or really doing anything that requires me to be standing unsupported for any length of time. Of the pairs of shoes that I own that fall into the CFM category, the highest heel is 4 1/2", which is much like being en pointe in ballet; the lowest heel is right about 3 3/4".
Quote by BethanyFrasier
If I wore 4" heels, I'd be on my tip-toes! My feet are size 5, and I could never get my heels in the air that high!.
Goodness, Bethany, you and I have quite the opposite problem...I wear a size 12 (true size is a 11.5, but half sizes aren't really a thing much past size 11), it's probably as stupidly difficult for you to find CFM heels--or shoes at all--in your size as it is for me to find anything at all in my size. That said, much past a 4" heel height, I think we're all essentially bearing all of our weight on our toes. No problem with my wearing the CFM heels, but lots of problems if I try to do anything much beyond standing still (and even that is difficult) or walking short distances with my very attentive s/o by my side to lend support.
Side note: Falling whilst wearing CFM or close to it heels--super not fun. Been there, done that. I wasn't even doing anything; I'd just stepped out of the car and bam! gravity attacked. Very lucky to escape with merely some scrapes on my palms and knees and a wee bit of damage to my dignity.
Top Shot
Quote by Verbal
I ALWAYS WANT SKITTLES!
*sliding into the corner, carefully avoiding the drooling Tose half of the Coma and Tose duo*
I do not like Skittles, not at all. Never have liked Skittles. Too sweet, or something. I'm okay with everyone else liking Skittles, they're just not at all appealing to me personally--and now I feel a bit like the outlier in the room.
I'll just sit over here, I've brought a Thermos of coffee with milk and sugar this morning, so I'm good. I'm trying to catch up on all the reading I've not done, and rid myself of a raging headache. Jeff, finally getting to your PDF, should have something to shoot back at you by Wednesday.
Top Shot
I don't know how I've not seen this before, but thank you, Morgan, for posting this funny, precise, spot-on guide to English punctuation conventions. Very helpful, I'm sure, to many or most writers, whether they're submitting stories here on Lush or choosing to do so elsewhere.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Top Shot
Quote by Verbal
Sub-question: Do women really want flowers and candy?
I can't speak for other women, but yah, no on the flowers and candy. It's a nice gesture, to be sure, but no.
Mostly because I'm very particular about both, the flowers most especially. My s/o arriving with a bag of chocolate-covered marzipan, then taking me to select my own flowers, would be lovely; just showing up with random flowers and candy, not so much. I'd appreciate the gesture, but again, because of my very critical nature regarding both, it'd be quite likely that half the bouquet would end up culled and the random candy would end up in the trash. That's just me, though.
The same applies to lingerie--that's a no-go. I absolutely love exquisite lingerie, but I'm very exacting in what it is that I choose, and I'd much rather choose something myself, something surprising for him to find beneath my clothing, than to have him doing the choosing for me. Besides, him doing the choosing rather ruins the surprise.
We agreed long ago that the one gift that he can give without involving me is something simple, in 14k or 18k or platinum, and for that he'd go to my jeweller, who would guide him to the perfect piece or pieces. I know this all probably comes off as difficult and demanding, but it is what it is, and he is more than willing to reap the rewards of my being difficult and demanding.
With specific regards to Valentine's Day, tbh, it doesn't hold that much significance for me. This year, as with most, I'll be working, and the day will more than likely pass much as any other day. I do try to make a point of having flowers delivered to him at his office, but I don't expect a fuss to be made over me because of the date.
He well knows that a nice evening out, on one of the rare occasions where I have two days off in a row, is a far better choice. A good meal and excellent cider (bourbon chaser(s) for me, nice bourbon or Scotch for him, with Drambuie and under-the-table teasing whilst waiting for dessert), will be far more relaxing and far more likely--certain, really--to lead to a lovely night in, than would any gift presented to an exhausted, post-work me, regardless of the date on the calendar.
And as Adi said, small things, in my case things like having some kind of carbon-based food substance ready to heat up when I do stagger home from work, or texts that make me smile, or other seemingly insignificant little things, are far more sexy than being bombarded with an explosion of red and pink tissue paper and prepackaged candy.
Top Shot
Quote by Buz
You should be poised for a world of hurt. And if you go through with this crazy idea, if the results or the child isn't yours, NEVER allow your child to know. That would be cruel. You raised the child as the father. I seriously suggest you let sleeping dogs lie. Leave it alone!
I have a feeling you have a masochistic fetish. Don't force that kind of pain on your child and family.
This.
Also, not sure about the UK or its individual jurisdictions, but in the U.S. and Canada, if you are legally married to a woman when she gives birth, you are considered, in the eyes of the law, the child's father. Period, full stop. Meaning that a DNA test will not change anything legally, it will only sow seeds of mistrust and strife within your family, no matter how the test itself turns out.
As to your "belief that [you] have the wisdom" to keep the results of the DNA test from literally everyone in your family...I can tell you right now, since you're going to need a DNA sample from your suspected non-biological child, that's just not going to happen. How are you going to have the "wisdom" to explain why you need a buccal swab? Even if you manage to pass that one off, what happens when your wife upsets you somehow and your "wisdom" fails you, as is bound to happen? Again, strife and discord within an otherwise happy family.
Top Shot
Quote by Lauradj
I will have a Hannah thanks, barkeep. Have we decided on getting a dancers pole in this place yet? It would certainly give us something to do when this place is a bit quieter or when we've had too much to drink. In that case, you may need to a get a new first aid kit for this place if we do get a dancers pole. Or you know, I could just kiss the boo boos better. As someone who works as an early childhood teacher, I am qualified to do that.
Ha...even now, with my boys quite past the age of needing their boo-boos kissed better, I always apply the bandage, secure it, and then kiss the top of whomever's head.
I've even done this (quite by accident) with dear friends and colleagues who've had some kind of injury; some kind of default Mum mechanism crossed with me being generally significantly taller than whomever it is that I'm comforting. I'm thinking it will wear off when my house has been child-free for...well, I don't know. 20 years? 30?
Top Shot
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Part of my problem is a reality check that says no gal who looks like her needs to thumb a ride.
This, exactly. I keep looking at the picture, and even though I know it's just some Shutterstock or whatever image that Nicola bought the rights to, my brain keeps going, Hey! Expensive hair! Expensive clothes! Manicured nails!
Which is why I am more and more thinking that if I can come up with anything passable for the comp, it'll be a story more about the suitcase (yah, so, I'm a big Nicholson Baker fan) or about her relationship with the driver of the vehicle in the distance, and less about her.
Anyway. I really need a day off so I can do some reading and scoring and commenting, since I've really done very little aside from...well, those stories brought to my attention here, and even those, some of them I've just scored. I'm starting to feel like people feel that I'm neglecting their stories (and by default, them), when the truth is that I just don't have the bandwidth as of late to do much more than read and score what is literally shoved right in front of me, and sometimes not even then.
Bill, you have the pear cider? After today, bottled in Belgium or poured out of a questionable-looking pitcher, it doesn't matter, set me up. Worked, furnace is (thank G-d) repaired, but the boys have tomorrow off from school--yes, on the one day I have off for the foreseeable future--and then my friend is still have an assortment of crazy issues with her husband. So I could definitely use something alcoholic, and since I can't afford to be knocked off of my feet, pear cider will do nicely.
Top Shot
Favourites as of late: Burquette, oceanrunner, browncoffee, RumpleForeskin, Verbal. I've not had as much time as I'd like to have had to read since late October, so I'm a bit behind, gradually catching up.