Top Shot
No...never tried, never will try. Just not my thing, I guess, but if it works for you...have fun!
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
HeraTeleia
1 month ago
Straight Cis Female
Canada
Forum
Top Shot
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Evening, Jen. I have/had an aunt, cousin, wife and daughter who were/are Registered Nurses. Even met my wife-unit while she was attending the Hunter College - Bellevue School of Nursing in NYC. All that explains my soft spot for your profession.
Since you're not preoccupied with writing comments, You wanna drink?
Mmm. Something light, please. Do you have any prosecco? And I scored Hannah's beautiful story and left a comment...all those 4's and so few comments, I felt a bit obliged.
Buz, dear, you're a mod. You could bloody well suggest a "Sloppy Sex" competition...I don't know if I'd include true anal (I don't think I ever have...maybe once?) but sloppy, slick sex, oral or whatever your orifice of choice, that I could definitely do.
Top Shot
Laura, pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm Jennifer, or Jen, or "that fucking tall Canadian bitch", depending on whom it is that is speaking. IRL, I'm...well, me. Mother, nurse, United Methodist. Meaning I work like crazy and have to absorb the alcohol here mostly via osmosis--not difficult, if you'd like to try just lean up against Jeff or Mike for a bit. Be warned, the latter can be a bit of a...gentleman. Of course. That's where I was going.
Bill, I totally agree that Nicola should make the next comp at least fellatio-free...not sure I would be able to enter, but then again, I'm stupidly competitive, so I might just submit something to see if I could write a story and intentionally avoid fellatio or any of the many other forms of face-fucking a woman.
Hannah, my aging, whiny computer was not feeling cooperative today and so I am just getting to reading and scoring stories. FTR, I don't usually comment, please don't take it personally.
Bill, I totally agree that Nicola should make the next comp at least fellatio-free...not sure I would be able to enter, but then again, I'm stupidly competitive, so I might just submit something to see if I could write a story and intentionally avoid fellatio or any of the many other forms of face-fucking a woman.
Hannah, my aging, whiny computer was not feeling cooperative today and so I am just getting to reading and scoring stories. FTR, I don't usually comment, please don't take it personally.
Top Shot
Well, I don't exactly "find" it, but I do wear a FlashBang concealed carry holster for my Glock 26 on occasion; for those unfamiliar, the FlashBang holster secures in the centre of one's bra. Draw is (ideally) accomplished by pulling up your blouse, although I've drawn in dryfire practise by pulling down on the neckline of a dress. Please note that the latter method of draw from a FlashBang is not recommended as 1) it requires muzzle sweep of your own body prior to positioning to fire and 2) you will quite likely rip your neckline. In the big scheme of things, though, in a situation where reverse draw might be required, I'm guessing that I'd be giving zero fucks about ruining my dress.
I do, however, find (and on a disturbingly regular basis) random floral bits--rose cuttings, baby's breath, eucalyptus leaves, that sort of thing--in my bra when I go to take it off at night. I do a lot of floral work as part of volunteering for the Washington State Patrol and since I tend to hold bouquets or arrangements in progress against my chest as I'm working on them, whatever I strip or clip off sometimes lands in the cleavage. How I can go a whole day with a chunk of rose stem--thorns and all--in a bra cup I don't know, but it's happened.
I do, however, find (and on a disturbingly regular basis) random floral bits--rose cuttings, baby's breath, eucalyptus leaves, that sort of thing--in my bra when I go to take it off at night. I do a lot of floral work as part of volunteering for the Washington State Patrol and since I tend to hold bouquets or arrangements in progress against my chest as I'm working on them, whatever I strip or clip off sometimes lands in the cleavage. How I can go a whole day with a chunk of rose stem--thorns and all--in a bra cup I don't know, but it's happened.
Top Shot
Quote by patokl
Thanks Liz. I'm not afraid of adventure, but I wanted to be sure it didn't have anything to do with scoring a story.
A second thank you, Liz. Like patokl, I don't want to accidentally mess with scoring a story (or really, accidentally mess with any of my custom settings anywhere on the site). So thank you for explaining the sudden appearance of the "Default" feature.
Top Shot
Quote by marilynnssshh
Can "free member", or non premium members manage their friends list? In other words, can friends be added or deleted if I am a non premium member?
Not to be unkind, but why not just pay the USD$50 to become a gold member? So many benefits (among them, additional control over your own profile page) and this site offers so much for so very little. Crimey, I pay twice that for my Amazon Prime membership, and I sure as heck use this site a lot more often than I use the features of my Amazon Prime membership.
Side note: server farms and the electricity required to run said farms, last I checked, do not come for free, why should you expect to receive the benefits of said well-run, well-monitored server farms for free?
Top Shot
It's a pleasant fantasy--among hundreds of others safely harboured within my brain--but like many fantasies, the risk/benefit analysis doesn't work out in favour of making it a reality. So, no.
Top Shot
Quote by MadMartigan
Any song ever having to do with Xmas. They can all burn in the fiery hell they were spawned from.
This.
Any of the 'modern' Christmas songs...especially that horrific Do They Know It's Christmas or whatever it's called. I hear that song and I think, fuck, why the fuck would people who aren't Christian (you know, a solid 2/3 or more of the world's population) give a half a damn about whether it's Christmas or not? Yes, I know that that isn't the point of the song, but still...grrr.
Top Shot
Pretty sure I'm good with any combination of him kissing me after eating me out before intercourse, after intercourse...definitely sure that I'm good with him straddling my face so that I can taste the heady mix of our juices after a good and thorough fucking.
Oh look! I wrote a whole story about how good I am with tasting myself on his cock! (breaks arm patting myself on the back)
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/my-favourite-word.aspx
Oh look! I wrote a whole story about how good I am with tasting myself on his cock! (breaks arm patting myself on the back)
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/my-favourite-word.aspx
Top Shot
Quote by katiesslut
So you have a friend who you get on amazingly well with. In fact you have fallen in love with them. Only problem is they are married. They seem to reciprocate your feelings but you're not totally sure. Do you come clean about how you feel about them or keep your feelings to yourself.........
Rule #1 in Jennifer's Big Book Of Rules is Do Not Fuck With Married Men. Rule #3 is Do Not Fuck With Other People's Relationships.
So...yup, I'd do the right thing, the thing that does not involve breaking either of the above rules for myself, and I'd keep mum. I'd probably also actively distance myself--physically and emotionally--from the object of my desire, just as a safety measure.
Top Shot
Cold. Really, really, cold. What is this, freaking flyover country? 17F overnight? Seriously, WTF?
Top Shot
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Bless your heart, Hannah. Glad to have you amongst us. ;) With luck (good, bad, or indifferent) some more of the irregulars will come dragging in before long.
There's an interesting request on the 'Readers Forum'. Someone wanted suggestions for stories with no oral or anal sex and no bd/sm. Just off the top of my empty little head, it was a challenge coming up with a suggestion from my story list. Jen manage to come up with a few...what about the rest of you?
In case you need a little help with your cogitation, there is booze available.
You have no idea how difficult a task it was finding two stories that matched the "no-blowjob" request, and I only have, what, 13 stories total (plus one total crap poem, hidden because of it being the aforementioned total crap)? I mean, fellatio (or irrumatio) is literally my favourite sexual act, period, full stop. Yes, Bill, this good Methodist mother and nurse absolutely lives to suck cock. It's ridiculous.
Anyway, I wrote an entire fucking story about how much I love a word related to fellatio--my very first story posted here, and my very first RR. I'm not one to go back over what I've written once it's posted, so poring over each story trying to find one to match the request (I found two!!) was quite the undertaking.
Point being, those of you with dozens of stories knocking around *cough*jeff*cough*mike*cough* should have no problem pulling a couple of blowjob/anal/bdsm free stories out of your arses. Just put down the Sterno and back slowly away from the bar...
Top Shot
I'm a relentless, incorrigible flirt, online and off, but when it comes (no pun intended) to my s/o? No. No fucking way am I fooling around on him with someone in real life.
Top Shot
Quote by Verbal
What was the word?
Had to ask, didn't you? The word was "laving", the gerund form of the verb "to lave", meaning "to wash", specifically over or against something.
I think in the story she was licking his balls or something, and the mod thought I meant to write "loving" instead of "laving". Yes, I am a walking thesaurus with tits. It's a fabulous thing.
Top Shot
I'm blessed in that I've always--literally since I was a small girl--had naturally very dark, very distinctly arched eyebrows. That said, we all go through those crazy periods, and yup, someplace in my late teens I went a little bonkers with the tweezers. Learned my lesson.
What I totally fail to understand is young women, women who would be naturally very pretty with unmarred eyebrows, tweezing or having tweezed out nearly every damn hair, and then taking what appears to be Crayola and colouring in "eyebrows". It's a look that instantly adds ten if not more years to a woman's face, and it seems to actually be popular, especially among the upper middle-income sort in my area. The sort with professionally coloured hair, fake tans, and gel nails (no knock on those, love having my nails done, even though I have to keep them hypershort).
I think the woman in honeydipped's post has lovely brows, and I do wish more young women would stop with the tweezing/waxing/threading and realise that less is more. Well, not less eyebrow hair, less tweezing/waxing/threading.
What I totally fail to understand is young women, women who would be naturally very pretty with unmarred eyebrows, tweezing or having tweezed out nearly every damn hair, and then taking what appears to be Crayola and colouring in "eyebrows". It's a look that instantly adds ten if not more years to a woman's face, and it seems to actually be popular, especially among the upper middle-income sort in my area. The sort with professionally coloured hair, fake tans, and gel nails (no knock on those, love having my nails done, even though I have to keep them hypershort).
I think the woman in honeydipped's post has lovely brows, and I do wish more young women would stop with the tweezing/waxing/threading and realise that less is more. Well, not less eyebrow hair, less tweezing/waxing/threading.
Top Shot
Quote by Jen
Either spelling is fine. It was probably just that the verifier was using grammarly or similar, or exhausted from late night festive partying/verifying combo.
If it happens, just pm the verifying mod to query. Likewise for any changes you're not happy with.
This. The mods/verifiers on this site are pretty damn good, probably the best of any literary submission site on the Interwebz, but they're still human. Communicate.
I know that with my last story, although accepted on the first submission, the mod/verifier sent me a note saying that I might want to use spellcheck, as I'd used a word that she thought I'd misspelled. Nope. It was just a word that she'd never come across before, and therefore with which she had no prior familiarity (I don't use spellcheck, but I'm guessing that since the word is rarely used even spellcheck might've flagged it).
As to the British English/American English, speaking as a person with dual U.S./Canadian citizenship, I've not personally ever had a mod/verifier send back or modify a story for my use of the British English spelling of words, but I'm sure it happens. Depending on the spellcheck being used, I imagine "humour" could be flagged or not flagged as an incorrect spelling. Again, communicate.
Top Shot
Without sex (presumably intercourse?): Too damn long.
Without masturbating: Too damn long. Sometimes I get worked up enough that I go to take care of myself...and then life happens. Dogs need out/in, phone rings, neighbour drops by, one of the offspring shows up with a friend....
Without masturbating: Too damn long. Sometimes I get worked up enough that I go to take care of myself...and then life happens. Dogs need out/in, phone rings, neighbour drops by, one of the offspring shows up with a friend....
Top Shot
Quote by Verbal
And speaking of good writing, yeah, Jen's story you link to is excellent stuff!
Eh. It just describes, literally down to the slate flooring, the Starbuck's closest to my house. It's not so much good writing as a quick read, but flattery will get you everywhere, so whatever Jeff is having this evening, send some his way, please, Bill.
Fun fact: I grew up with and am still very good friends with the daughter of Z'ev Siegl, one of the three original founders of Starbucks. When Z'ev left the company, selling it to Howard Schultz, aka the asshole who sold the Seattle SuperSonics to a pack of freaking Okhlahomans (Oklahomites? How about I just go with "idiots"?), there were a whopping six stores.
Even through the early 1990's, Starbucks was relatively local, or at least there weren't corners you could stand on and see three or four separate Starbucks locations all at once. Now there are something like 25,000 locations worldwide, which is just straight up insane.
Top Shot
Quote by Buz
If anyone does that, please report them.
I've just learned to be really fast with the "block" feature, but thank you, Buz.
Top Shot
Why is waxed not an option? Shaving is so...awkward and itchy. Trimming is okay but you still need to shave at some point.
Anyway! Professionally waxed (this morning, coincidentally) completely and entirely smooth, navel to knees. I do shave daily from my ankles to my knees, but the rest is just ridiculous to do with a blade.
Anyway! Professionally waxed (this morning, coincidentally) completely and entirely smooth, navel to knees. I do shave daily from my ankles to my knees, but the rest is just ridiculous to do with a blade.
Top Shot
You could try my Tension, https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/tension-1.aspx , no anal sex or anal play or fellatio in that one.
The only other one I have without anal sex or anal play or fellatio is Accidental Discharge, https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/accidental-discharge.aspx .
I'm sorry...the no anal part is easy, the no fellatio part is a little more difficult.
The only other one I have without anal sex or anal play or fellatio is Accidental Discharge, https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/accidental-discharge.aspx .
I'm sorry...the no anal part is easy, the no fellatio part is a little more difficult.
Top Shot
Quote by Dudealicious
Question for you then......how did you come to the conclusion that 40% of the "women" are actually men?
Just curious..
This. As I've noted on other threads, there are definitely men pretending to be women, more specifically bi/lesbian or hotwife women, on Lush, but I don't think the number approaches nearly 40%.
Men pretending to be women, for whatever reason, seem to believe that women talk with other women about sex. Pro tip: We do. However, sex talk usually revolves around real life relationships, and comes in wayyy down on the discussion list, somewhere after laundry detergent preferences (no, seriously...) and somewhere before whether to plant primroses or hellebores or both.
Interestingly, since men use a different syntax than women, no matter the woman's sexual orientation, and no matter the native language of the woman, it doesn't usually even take me looking at a profile or doing a reverse Google Image search on a supposed woman about whom I have suspicions to confirm those suspicions. Just a few minutes of conversation, and I'll know.
Top Shot
Happy Birthday!! I hope 2017 proves to be your happiest birthday year yet! 
Top Shot
Kegel exercises, designed to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and specifically to strengthen and encourage the repair of those muscles after childbirth, happen to have the pretty fucking amazing side effect of making a woman quite capable of stupidly strong vaginal muscle contractions, both voluntary and involuntary.
The exercises also cause the vagina itself to become rather incredibly tight and some women (not me, but it's a thing) actually reach orgasm just from doing their Kegels. It's something that every woman should really get into the habit of--one, because once you've delivered a child, things are kind of trashed down there, and Kegels increase blood flow and speed healing; two, because performing the exercises is easy and discreet; and three, because once you get into the habit of doing them, you do them all the damn time and both you and your lover (and/or future lovers) will benefit.
I have no idea how many individual Kegel exercises are "normal", but I do them pretty much any time I think about it, something my first OB told me to do after a very fast first delivery and something that thus became habit. Usually sitting down, usually ~200 per day, sometimes way more...generally any time I'm sitting down, really. There's really no downside to learning to perform Kegel exercises, because even without childbirth, the muscles comprising the pelvic floor weaken during and after menopause, meaning a much higher risk of urinary incontinence and/or uterine prolapse (read: the uterus literally falling down and into the vaginal canal, sometimes protruding from the vaginal introitus itself).
ETA:
Uh-huh. Of course I believe that "[your] pussy contracts so hard...Cytherea style orgasms are the norm for [you]".
You do realise that porn is acting, right? And that it would make exactly zero biological sense for an orgasm to force out "whatever is in there"? And of course that orgasms in a woman are meant to draw in fluid, like semen, that may be on the cervix?
The exercises also cause the vagina itself to become rather incredibly tight and some women (not me, but it's a thing) actually reach orgasm just from doing their Kegels. It's something that every woman should really get into the habit of--one, because once you've delivered a child, things are kind of trashed down there, and Kegels increase blood flow and speed healing; two, because performing the exercises is easy and discreet; and three, because once you get into the habit of doing them, you do them all the damn time and both you and your lover (and/or future lovers) will benefit.
I have no idea how many individual Kegel exercises are "normal", but I do them pretty much any time I think about it, something my first OB told me to do after a very fast first delivery and something that thus became habit. Usually sitting down, usually ~200 per day, sometimes way more...generally any time I'm sitting down, really. There's really no downside to learning to perform Kegel exercises, because even without childbirth, the muscles comprising the pelvic floor weaken during and after menopause, meaning a much higher risk of urinary incontinence and/or uterine prolapse (read: the uterus literally falling down and into the vaginal canal, sometimes protruding from the vaginal introitus itself).
ETA:
Quote by wifesqrt
When I'm about the orgasm my pussy contracts so hard it forces out whatever is in there and I explode juices several feet at times. Cytherea style orgasms are the norm for me....
Uh-huh. Of course I believe that "[your] pussy contracts so hard...Cytherea style orgasms are the norm for [you]".
You do realise that porn is acting, right? And that it would make exactly zero biological sense for an orgasm to force out "whatever is in there"? And of course that orgasms in a woman are meant to draw in fluid, like semen, that may be on the cervix?
Top Shot
I hated being pregnant all three times, absolutely hated it--I wasn't one of those "glowy" pregnant women. More "glowering".
This, however, was due mostly to "morning" (read: all day) sickness, a constant round of nausea and/or dry heaves, with no desire to eat and no interest in eating. Never felt fat or unattractive, however weird that may be, and although all three of my sons came in at 8+ pounds each, I lost ~40 lbs during the course of each pregnancy; I'd start regaining right around 32 weeks (everybody had the courtesy to hatch between 36 and 38 weeks).
More to the point, however, is that during my mid-late second trimester in each pregnancy, I was randy as all Hell. I mean, fuck me now randy, even if the entirety of my calorie consumption for the day consisted of the sugar in my peppermint tea. I remember feeling like a sex goddess every go round, my skin stretched by my grossly enlarged womb, even when my ankles were crazy swollen and I couldn't turn around at work without knocking a sitting colleague in the back of the head with either my ass or my belly. So there's that.
This, however, was due mostly to "morning" (read: all day) sickness, a constant round of nausea and/or dry heaves, with no desire to eat and no interest in eating. Never felt fat or unattractive, however weird that may be, and although all three of my sons came in at 8+ pounds each, I lost ~40 lbs during the course of each pregnancy; I'd start regaining right around 32 weeks (everybody had the courtesy to hatch between 36 and 38 weeks).
More to the point, however, is that during my mid-late second trimester in each pregnancy, I was randy as all Hell. I mean, fuck me now randy, even if the entirety of my calorie consumption for the day consisted of the sugar in my peppermint tea. I remember feeling like a sex goddess every go round, my skin stretched by my grossly enlarged womb, even when my ankles were crazy swollen and I couldn't turn around at work without knocking a sitting colleague in the back of the head with either my ass or my belly. So there's that.
