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LadyX
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 35
0 miles · Dallas
Forum
Artistic Tart
Quote by sprite
lol - i suddenly have this vision of some guy on Antique Road Show pulling out his junk and having it appraised by an expert.
I think I'm qualified for that job.
(kneels down, lifts exposed penis, examines all sides studiously)
"Let's see here...okay, I see some nice veining here, and that's always a plus, both visually and as friction against the inner walls. I do also see some spiderwebbing though...I'm guessing that means you either used a penis pump or fell for some other gimmick. That will subract some value, but otherwise it's a very nice specimen. The glans is nice and big, and the shaft gets a little wider as it descends, and the women always appreciate that. You're forty years old...I'd say your payday would be much better if you were in your early twenties, but still impressive nonetheless, and it will retain much of its value well into your fifties. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to assess this; I'll price your cock at $16,500."
Artistic Tart
Quote by trinket
LadyX, i'm sure you have heard the talk about Lush cyber-babies... I'd start saving your money asap LOL
All I wanted was to have a little fun, you know? He told me not to worry, and now I'm stuck with the consequences...
You've been served notice, Jack. Lush-child support is in order....asshole.
Maybe just a coincidence? FYI.
Artistic Tart
Quote by fire_starter93
There's two of my friends and one of my girlfriends who are over almost daily to leave her creampies. It's been going on almost 6 months and her boyfriend doesn't have a clue. Anyone have any ideas?
If my math is correct here, that's three cream pies a day, almost every day. So we're talking 15-20 cream pies per week? At that pace, it won't be long before the boyfriend notices the dramatic weight increase. That's a staggering sugar intake, my friend; this secret can't be kept from the boyfriend much longer, I'm sure of it. Obesity is an epidemic, and it's a lot easier to keep the weight off to begin with than to lose it once it's on. You might want to intervene here instead of enabling her poor diet choices and overeating.
But seriously...what do you mean by "take things up a notch"?
Artistic Tart
Quote by Dancing_Doll
She's a beautiful natural looking girl with a lot of sex appeal. She is actually a great size as a swimsuit model (although I have heard criticism that she isn't toned enough). I think based on typical runway model standards, she is too big. Let's make it clear - I'm not saying that - but that's the complaint that I would expect (most) high end fashion houses and designers would have. When you're doing haut couture runway - the girls are typically a size 0-2. I think it would be great for designers to use more accessible looking body types like Kate's. In the meantime, she's perfectly sized as a mainstream swimwear/lingerie model.
I have heard that Victoria Secret has refused to use her because she looks too average/pedestrian. Although, in recent years, I think that Vic Secret has veered more towards the thinner body type models than the days when Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks were the ones in demand.
I hadn't heard any of this, but it does make sense. She has runway-model stature (5'10" if I recall), so naturally, at some point, comments would be made in reference to her 'modeling' qualities. It's almost unfair to judge any woman vs. a runway model, even women of world-class beauty and appeal like Kate Upton. They're often not even "pretty", but through genetics and hard work, they fit a very specific body type and are highly skilled. Some do cross over to lingerie and retail fashion modeling. And so yes, I can see how Kate would be considered too heavy by 20 or so pounds, and not toned enough to fit that mold. And as head-shaking as the instant reaction to that may be, it might be that Kate Upton's ill-fit as a potential runway model is a prime example of how futile and just plain unhealthy it is judge ourselves on that standard.
I think the trap to avoid here is equating industry model standards with "what men want," or "what we as women should aspire to." The polling has been done, here at Lush and in western society at large, and men don't, by and large, seek out size-2, 6'-1" women. They don't look at Kate Upton and think "ugh, could she please mix in a few sit-ups? Jesus Christ, she's flabby."
Just because VS or any other fashion line (to say nothing of the haute couture houses) has a very strict and specific requirement for their models, it doesn't mean that their standards are a mirror of society's standards for women. Unless you're auditioning for modeling work at Prada, nobody's saying you should be a size 0 with a tiny ass and a bony face.
In my opinion, Kate Upton is damn near perfect, right down to the fact that her body isn't robotically fit and trim. She seems real*, and no less sexy or beautiful for it.
*though not necessarily attainable, of course LOL. But also not 'plastic', or with innate aloofness, the way models like Klum and Gisele, and even Brooklyn Decker seem to be.
Artistic Tart
You are all that's needed to get you where you're going
Tomorrow is the season out on the western shore.
You are not the reason nobody cares to notice
They never saw you leaving 'cause they just don't know how to get somewhere.
You got a running start, so you can feel the change
You had to heal your heart so you can live again another day.
You got to live out loud, no one to fear
Nothing around to bring you down or to give you tears.
Out on the western shore, you will no longer break.
There is no one needed, to tell you what you're knowing
There only is believing, out on the western shore.
So you can leave the darkness that always kept you sleepless
You can forget the place where the twisted hypocrites stop and stare.
You got a running start, so you can feel the change
You had to heal your heart so you can live again another day.
You got to live out loud, no one to fear
Nothing around to bring you down or to give you tears.
Out on the western shore, you will no longer break.
Everything you're needing is in the right direction
Today is the season out on the western shore.
Now you are leaving, nothing that you're owing
You can forget the streets of the punk motherfuckers who stop and stare.
You got a running start, so you can feel the change
You had to heal your heart so you can live again another day.
You got to live out loud, no one to fear
Nothing around to bring you down or to give you tears.
Out on the western shore, you will no longer break.
Artistic Tart
you're goddamn right I would. Hell I'd do just about everything different. If I didn't spend so much time being such a smart ass I would actually have ended up smarter. Making better decisions anyway. I fucked up good. All the people that are all "I would never change a thing, its what made me who I am", I'm like what? To me that's just depressing. Like I am supposed to take pride in my own baggage and scars? Fuck that. Gimme the time machine. I can do better than this, surely.
Artistic Tart
Quote by DirtyMartini
Suppose somebody writes both erotic and non-erotic stories...does that mean they're real writers on some days, and on other days they're not? Or, are they just totally messed up in the head?
Btw...that forum thread is so entertaining, I think we should talk Nic into packaging it as the next Lush eBook...
Might be a best seller actually...
I couldn't agree more!
Artistic Tart
Quote by JohnC
LOL Oh I see it. But I am also at the point of almost feeling sorry for him. And he went and insulted the forums AGAIN. LOL
Hell, he can LEAVE and find a forum or group that is more to his liking. Everyone/anyone can. Hell, I have done that concerning car forums online.... join a forum, find out I didn't like the people, the vibe, the interactions, etc. and I LEFT. I went and found a forum that I DID like. But I certainly didn't piss all over the place and do everything in my power to upset the memberships before I left. I JUST LEFT. LOL
Maybe he is just lonely? Maybe he just wants attention? I don't know.... but clearly even comedic value has it's limits. LOL
All good points, my gloved friend.
But he's a big boy. He'll either decide not to be forum fodder eventually, or we'll find out he gets off on it.