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LadyX
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 35
0 miles · Dallas
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LadyX
Artistic Tart
Quote by JohnC

I know that was not in response to me... but.... LOL Really? You think you have "ownership" of a thread because you created it? And THAT is the reason you are acting the fool? It is YOURS, and damn anyone trying to tell you what to do in/with it? LOL

Moderators? Can we LOCK this thread? [-o<


You fail to appreciate comedy when it's right in front of you, Mr. JohnC.
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LadyX
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What do you consider the qualities of a "real" writer? Are there professional writers that you would not consider "real writers", and if so, why?

This came up in another (sort of hilarious) thread, in a side discussion about whether or not writers of erotic stories are "real writers". Somebody brought up E.L. James, which made me cringe because of the bit I was able to read before I couldn't take it anymore, 50 Shades of Grey sucks ass*. I'm happy that it's made her so much money, and all of that, but it's a hack job in my opinion. Other than loose association with Twilight, I'm mystified by how popular her writing has become.

But even if one agrees with that assessment (and many do), does that somehow not make her a "real writer"?

When we say somebody's "not a real writer", are we really meaning to say that they're simply not a very good writer?





*at least, by the standard of what I'd expect from published literature that I pay money for, let alone considering its popularity. This is not to claim that I would prove to be less of a hack; I'm sure I wouldn't fare any better quality-wise, but then again, I'm not trying to earn a living doing it.
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LadyX
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Quote by Magical_felix

you're turning her into a wide vagina having chick.





Much to her future partners' dismay.
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LadyX
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Quote by Hugecock69
I highly doubt all the women on this site are gonna read it, and the women I'm looking into aren't gonna care. Which is exactly why I don't care at all what you "writers" think of me at all.


You asked what we thought, but didn't actually care?



Men are so confusing!
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LadyX
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Quote by Hugecock69
50 shades of grey is not writing to me either, that's not writing at all. Yeah I only stay on this site for a short amount of time, because I have better things to do with my time during school, sorry if that is an issue for some of you. I understand that writers now need online followings, but I don't think any of the writers writing sex stories on here, no matter how complex will be changing any lives through writing in the real world, maybe some of you will, but not a large amount. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WRITING! I LOVE THE STORIES!!! my purpose is to discuss the change from plenty of women to cyber with to less and less with more and more "writers" that is my opinion


I mean this in the nicest way possible, Hugecock69. Disparaging people who care about their writing, and claiming that they aren't 'real writers', is an excellent and efficient way to eliminate possible online cyber companions. Mission accomplished for you, I'm afraid. I'm not buying the premise that all prospects for all men have suddenly dried up in the wave of new writing enthusiasm here. I know plenty of guys that get all kinds of cyber-tail. I wish I were joking about that last part...but I'm not.
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LadyX
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How does one gain popularity in this day and age without online following? Do you think message board and online community fandom is somehow illigitimate? They exist for all manner of literature, by the way, not just for erotic stories.
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LadyX
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Quote by Hugecock69
I don't think women need to be available to my needs both in real life or on this site. I don't believe men are superior and women need to sub,it al all that view sickens me. I'm not listening to advice because a bunch of you seem to think my only foal here is to beat my meat and cybering, that's not my only intention. I also feel that both men and women waste their time pretending to be writers


Alright. Tell you what: how about we not make assumptions about your "intentions" and you won't continue to belittle the efforts of thousands who contribute stories here. And how will we accomplish this? By letting this thread, for all its comedic value, die gracefully.
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LadyX
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Quote by Hugecock69
It is not a rant because I can't find people to cyber with, i'm not trying to be argumentative or complain. My point is simply that the site has changed, I know others agree with me. It seems to me that many of you gold members see yourselves as the cream of the crop and better than others on the site. I'm not saying lush needs to change because of my views on the subject, I'm simply saying that it has changed and I don't love it and I was wondering if anyone else had noticed the change.


I'm sorry to hear that. I hadn't picked up on a general attitude among gold members toward others. Personally, it doesn't occur to me who is and isn't in that group, especially since members often choose to hide the emblem on their avatars. You do seem to really have an axe to grind about the writing emphasis though, and that's a real shame, since that's essentially the origin and future of this site. That's not to say that we don't have or welcome legions of members who are here for the fellowship, and forums, and chatrooms, and other things not involved with stories at all, and apparently you're one of them. To the extent that you've found this place to be less than friendly, I'm sorry for that, but those who say that you get what you give to this site have spoken real truth.
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LadyX
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Quote by Hugecock69
I don't consider professional writers of erotica writers either. Call it a site to write but it's writing porn so it's a sex site. I get the site needs money to run, but many gold members seem to think they are better or above other members of the site, they still belong to a sex site, that doesn't make you an amazing person.


Now you're just being argumentative. Is that what you want?

I'm sorry that you have less and less willing cyber sexy-talk partners these days. I won't theorize on why that is; you'll know better than me perhaps. Your theory is that the site has changed. I haven't noticed it myself, and I've been here 3 and a half years, but all of our experiences differ, granted.

What would you like others to say here, exactly? Or are you just complaining?
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LadyX
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Quote by LiquidMatthew


But all have something that can be improved, too, something of which the author is completely unaware because no one says anything. If I were wearing a great suit but my dick was hanging out, I'd want someone to mention it, so that I can fix the problem. Just ignoring my baloney pony doesn't make the problem go away, it just ensures it never gets corrected. If you're passionate enough to write stories and post them here, you ought to be passionate enough to take some constructive criticism. If you really want to lift others up, you should be helping them improve. I didn't become a better student in school by my teachers not correcting my work. They showed me what stupid stuff I got wrong, and I got better.


I completely grasp what you're saying, and I think it gets to the subtle divide between writers here. Not that its an adversarial divide, only that it's demarcated by differing goals. For instance, I will venture to say that the vast majority of members that submit stories here are doing so for reasons other than "I want to be the best, most expressive and technically proficient writer that I can possibly be." Not that their goal is to be poor writers, but above all, they want to share their creations, and being nitpicked is beside the point, and therefore comes off as nettlesome and annoying. Then there are those among us who do strive to always get better, and possibly even get published and make money from our writing, but even in this group, most would rather get constructive criticism privately. Its a small but gutsy group, such as yourself, that truly invites and enjoys all feedback, negative and positive, equally.

I'd equate it to a community art show. Most of the contributors spent eight or ten hours painting their piece at their kitchen table, and are proud of what they've done. If a critic comes by and tells them that their shading is incorrect and that they used the wrong color mix to depict skin tone, then it's probably going to hurt their feelings or at least annoy them. Yes, you'll have one or two out of fifty or so that want that tough unsolicited analysis, but most people feel they've done a lot simply by showing a complete, original work publicly, and aren't really interested in immediately being reminded of what they haven't done well. Why is this? Because most don't fashion themselves as aspiring professional painters.

I believe it's much the same here. Most do it for fun, for sharing, and the compliments feel good. Maybe you feel that's shallow or counterproductive to the process of improving, but like it or not, 'improving' isn't the point for many. As for me specifically, I prefer to seek reviews from specific members, and they will in turn PM their comments to me at their convenience. I get no further benefit from having it posted publicly, and when I invite them to review my work individually, I find I get a more thorough look than if they otherwise stumbled onto it on their own.
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LadyX
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Quote by Tammy_Nguyen_77


I feel that any one-on-one sexual roleplay with anyone other than my husband is a form of cheating. Since I'm new here I am interested in other women's opinion on this. Am I out of line being uncomfortable with such activity on a site like this?


Absolutely not. Many of us feel the same way, actually, but it's no big deal either way. You don't really think horny strangers on the Internet are going to "respect" your marriage, do you? In any case, you're doing an awful lot of all-caps, red-font, cyber-yelling here, and while it is entertaining to watch, It won't get you taken very seriously. The ironic thing is, you've made a point to emphasize your desire for female-only responses, yet you're doing nothing short of baiting men to answer your rants, which again, are directed at them, not women. Guys will "choke their chicken" () whether you decide to 'cyber' with them or not, rest assured.
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LadyX
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Huh. I'd never heard of that site before. Seems like a bunch of really self-serious cats in there, but hey, if you're trying to make bank, then what's not to be serious about?

You're a font of info, Alansky.
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LadyX
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I watched an interesting documentary yesterday, titled After Porn Ends. It's all about the lives of former porn stars, interviewing them about how they got into doing porn, what they felt about their experiences, and what life has been for them ever since. I'd never heard of most of the ones they focused on, as they were mostly from the 80s and 90s, though two of them are more recent than that. Either way, by the end of it, I felt like I knew who these people were.

They also had a lot of input from a couple of journalists who cover the adult industry, and from Nina Hartley, former performer turned therapist.

The thesis appears to be that the experience of being a porn star creates permanent scars regardless of who they are. Some, like MENSA member Asia Carrera, seemed to fully embrace it with her eyes open, milk it for all it was worth, and then walk away, supposedly intact. Her scars would be exposed near the end of the film.

On the other end of the spectrum is Crissy Moran, who by all accounts came into porn with a fragile disposition and was left completely (and perhaps permanently) broken by it. The look in her eyes, and the almost cowering manner in which she talks about her experiences, brings PTSD to mind. The part of her testimony that got to me was when she talked about fan mail she would get, that told her they most admired her 'innocence', when what they were really picking up on was the psychic burden of having sex with strangers on camera. In other words, that submissive quality they loved wasn't acting, it was her sense of self literally being subsumed.

Also of note was a male performer named Randy West, who apparently was Jenna Jameson's first male on-camera partner, and enjoyed a long run in the business. He now lives alone, and plays golf for charity in his (seemingly plentiful) spare time. Randy is a guy who appears gregarious and fairly centered, but when he talks about his life, the sadness in his eyes is apparent. You can tell that in many ways, he's envious of friends he has outside of the porn industry, who have normal family and social lives. There's also a surprising moment where he admits to his deep regret for not nurturing a romantic relationship with porn star Tera Patrick when he had the chance more than a decade ago.

And that's the recurring theme through all of these stories: that porn doesn't go away when it ends. One former star's teenage daughter won't let her attend any of her school functions, for fear she'll be recognized and therefore humiliate her among her classmates. Another laments that his charity opportunities are limited by his past, while well-known crooked politicians are welcomed with open arms. Another was let go by her real estate company when they discovered her past, saying that they were too high profile and depended too much on conservative clientele to take a chance on continuing their association with her.

The whole thing hits me in a personal way, too, because I have a past (and sort of present) that I'm not altogether proud of either. I've done things that aren't considered "acceptable" by wide swaths of the population. But the difference is that porn stars do it in an internationally public way. They're idolized in the darkness by the same public that treats them as pariahs in the light of day.

Much like the show Intervention, the documentary ends with a screen text post-script, telling us what is presently happening with those who were interviewed. A couple are back in porn, after professing earlier in the film their relief and pride from having emancipated themselves from it. One is in rehab, and though they don't say so, I have to think that all or most of them are in therapy. Porn never ends, even after it's over.

Highly recommended.
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LadyX
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Quote by Tammy_Nguyen_77

GODDAMMIT!!!


Take it from a frequent utilizer of gratuitous profanity, this was a great addition to your rant. Well done.
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LadyX
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Guys with anal fixations.

EDIT: Crap, wrong section. My bad.

What do I like in girls? No warts.
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LadyX
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I am so mud. When is the key for sublimination? Freakish train.
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LadyX
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Quote by freakycactus
From my experience, the 20 year old female being fucked by the 45 year old guy is the one people question. She's assumed to have 'daddy issues', be a gold digger, looking for a sugar daddy.


I was going to say the same thing. From my experience, it's the younger girl that gets looked at sideways in that situation more than the men. We all know that youth is treasured, especially when it comes to men's perception of women, so I haven't heard men referred to as deviant very often in this scenario: we all get why they're doing it. The young, gold-digging, daddy-issues slut stereotype, however, is alive and well.
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