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Leesi
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 155
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by knobby
Order a tuna sandwich at my local garden centre. Yuk.
Anyway, back to guilty or innocent...
Have you ever driven one of those little buggies like the Banana Splits used to drive?
I so screwed up the question! Rushing through stuff makes me do that
Response to SG - Innocent
Have you ever spent an entire day on Lush and ignored everything else you had to do?
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by playsit
Thank you for commenting. First, she never initiates... that's all me. She enjoys our intimacy, just not her to think about it much. When we do enjoy our time together, my body doesn't respond to her touch because of some numbness, but I do respond to her responses to my touch if that makes sense. We have both seen counselors and talked to the medical oncologist at the hospital. We are very aware of what's going on both emotionally and medically. Sometimes knowledge just isn't enough when emotions are involed.
It does make sense and I do understand.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by playsit
I'll do my best to keep this short. I am recoverring from prostate cancer treatment, which left me with some ED issues. I'm told my virility will return along with my passion, to be patient, take some Viagra-type pills to help out and keep trying.
The other day, I took the pill then asked my wife if she would join me in bed since physical touch helps activate its effects. She looked at me and said "Please don't make me do that" to which I responded "I don't need you to join me but it would so much better if you did". Long story short, I started by myself and she joined me later feeling guilty. Afterwards, I felt like shit that she would say that to begin with, then felt like it was just sympathy sex.
I have not responded to her touch for a year and she tells me it affects her sexuality, that she feels selfish having an orgasm when I can't, that it's incomplete without feeling me inside her, that she feels like a prostitute offering sex when she doesn't feel it, yada, yada.
I'd love to hear from my Lush community about this whole thing from both a guys and gals viewpoint. Can you ladies understand her thoughts? Would you ignore them to help a person you supposedly love? Any guys understand my reactions to all this or am I over thinking things?
I have not responded to her touch for a year and she tells me it affects her sexuality
It sounds as if she's tried to intiate but you have been unable to respond to her advances? Is that correct? When you are dealing with a serious illness such as cancer, there is so much you are dealing with and worried about like, surgery, recovery, treatment, recovery from treatment, fear that it will return, that you will die etc., that it consumes you and you cannot really focus on intimacy or honestly on a lot of things. It takes a toll on a person and it's understandable.
I would hope your wife realizes that if you were not able to give her what she needed, it wasn't because you did not want to, but because you were unable to. Now that you are on the road to recovery, you need to sit down and have a very open conversation. Let her tell you exactly what she's feeling or how she felt and you listen and work on getting back on track. Make an appointment and both of you go talk to your medical oncologist. He can help you both understand what you are going through is not unusual or unique and perhaps refer you for counseling.
It's not just the partner that feels neglected when you are going through this type of illness it's also the person going through the illness. Sometimes partners pull back emotionally but it's because they are also afraid. If she's feeling guilty about having an orgasm when you may not be able to, it's not really about being selfish, it's about feeling guilty. I think counseling would really help you guys out.
