Quote by Poppet
Oh Oh, I so want to get this! I'm new to my iPad so if you find a little Poppet lost in the Lush App, please help her find her way home again.
Only an Android app at the moment Poppet, won't run on your iPad I'm afraid
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Liz
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Female, 31
0 miles · England
Forum
Scarlet Seductress
The 4 Best Moments from the Fastest Career Meltdown Ever
Last weekend, rookie news anchor A.J. Clemente debuted in his very first live broadcast at Bismarck, North Dakota's own KFYR-TV.
It didn't go well
In case you didn't watch the video, A.J. manages to completely destroy his career in the first three seconds of the broadcast, which has to be some kind of record. Thanks to the Internet, which preserves every horrible mistake we make like a hateful eternal library, we are able to examine the meteoric downfall of A.J. Clemente one glorious step at a time.
The Setup
The day began for A.J. much like any other -- with cautious optimism and a devastating lack of self-awareness:
Presumably he was cleared for anchoring, because he showed up on TV a few hours later, wearing what we hope was his lucky green tie, because there is no other conceivable reason for an adult human male to willingly dangle that color pattern from his neck in view of other people.
The Execution
The 5 o'clock news begins, and before the NBC logo has a chance to fade off the screen (and before we even see his face), A.J. spits out the word "gay," followed immediately by the phrase "fucking shit" the moment the studio comes into view:
Yes, North Dakota News' loyal evening audience has just tuned in to hear a scathing blast of curse-laden homophobia before any rational voice has even had a chance to speak, and when the anchoring team appears on screen, it is obvious which one of them was responsible.
The Decline
Despite the fact that lead anchor Van Tieu is stumbling through the intro to the program, A.J. seems totally unaware that there are even cameras in the room. He stares fixedly down at the desk and continues muttering to himself like a lunatic for 10 more seconds. Meanwhile, Van appears terrified to move, lest she wander into A.J.'s rapidly expanding aura of failure. Only when A.J. hears his name does he snap out of his trance to cast a horrified stare toward his self-destructing future in broadcast journalism.
The Realisation
He remains frozen until Van finally prompts him to introduce himself, even though she knows full well that his fate is now completely beyond his control.
Now that he has his audience's complete attention, A.J. begins to speak:
"I'm used to ... you know ... from being ... from the in- East Coast."
A.J. sputters out what may or may not be a half-remembered pre-written speech where he points out his East Coast roots for reasons that cannot be explained. It's not pretty, but we're impressed he didn't just do that elevator thing where you bend your knees slowly and disappear behind the desk.
Keep in mind, we are still in the opening 20 seconds of the broadcast. A.J. hasn't even been on TV for a full minute. Like a man trying to walk off a gunshot wound, he goes directly into reading the news, as if his desk isn't already being cleaned out for him.
The Aftermath
A.J. confided in Twitter after his catastrophic debut:
Once the clip hit the Internet, he even tried to clear up that he wasn't actually saying "gay," but apparently trying to pronounce the name Tsegaye Kebede, a London marathon winner. However, he offers no explanation for his schizophrenic mumbling:
Finally, A.J. was let go.
In what was possibly the saddest series of tweets yet to be recorded, we watched A.J. Clemente's day go from nervous and hopeful to arguably the worst 24 hours of his entire life. We wish him luck in finding another job, where hopefully he can make it past the 10-second mark without swearing like he's on Xbox Live.
Article Source: Cracked
Last weekend, rookie news anchor A.J. Clemente debuted in his very first live broadcast at Bismarck, North Dakota's own KFYR-TV.
It didn't go well
In case you didn't watch the video, A.J. manages to completely destroy his career in the first three seconds of the broadcast, which has to be some kind of record. Thanks to the Internet, which preserves every horrible mistake we make like a hateful eternal library, we are able to examine the meteoric downfall of A.J. Clemente one glorious step at a time.
The Setup
The day began for A.J. much like any other -- with cautious optimism and a devastating lack of self-awareness:
Presumably he was cleared for anchoring, because he showed up on TV a few hours later, wearing what we hope was his lucky green tie, because there is no other conceivable reason for an adult human male to willingly dangle that color pattern from his neck in view of other people.
The Execution
The 5 o'clock news begins, and before the NBC logo has a chance to fade off the screen (and before we even see his face), A.J. spits out the word "gay," followed immediately by the phrase "fucking shit" the moment the studio comes into view:
Yes, North Dakota News' loyal evening audience has just tuned in to hear a scathing blast of curse-laden homophobia before any rational voice has even had a chance to speak, and when the anchoring team appears on screen, it is obvious which one of them was responsible.
The Decline
Despite the fact that lead anchor Van Tieu is stumbling through the intro to the program, A.J. seems totally unaware that there are even cameras in the room. He stares fixedly down at the desk and continues muttering to himself like a lunatic for 10 more seconds. Meanwhile, Van appears terrified to move, lest she wander into A.J.'s rapidly expanding aura of failure. Only when A.J. hears his name does he snap out of his trance to cast a horrified stare toward his self-destructing future in broadcast journalism.
The Realisation
He remains frozen until Van finally prompts him to introduce himself, even though she knows full well that his fate is now completely beyond his control.
Now that he has his audience's complete attention, A.J. begins to speak:
"I'm used to ... you know ... from being ... from the in- East Coast."
A.J. sputters out what may or may not be a half-remembered pre-written speech where he points out his East Coast roots for reasons that cannot be explained. It's not pretty, but we're impressed he didn't just do that elevator thing where you bend your knees slowly and disappear behind the desk.
Keep in mind, we are still in the opening 20 seconds of the broadcast. A.J. hasn't even been on TV for a full minute. Like a man trying to walk off a gunshot wound, he goes directly into reading the news, as if his desk isn't already being cleaned out for him.
The Aftermath
A.J. confided in Twitter after his catastrophic debut:
Once the clip hit the Internet, he even tried to clear up that he wasn't actually saying "gay," but apparently trying to pronounce the name Tsegaye Kebede, a London marathon winner. However, he offers no explanation for his schizophrenic mumbling:
Finally, A.J. was let go.
In what was possibly the saddest series of tweets yet to be recorded, we watched A.J. Clemente's day go from nervous and hopeful to arguably the worst 24 hours of his entire life. We wish him luck in finding another job, where hopefully he can make it past the 10-second mark without swearing like he's on Xbox Live.
Article Source: Cracked
Scarlet Seductress
This feature doesn't bother me as I like to leave feedback on every story I score anyway.
That being said, I can understand how people wanting to leave a low score might be deterred from doing so if forced to state why.
I suppose in many instances this would just lead to neither a score or comment being left at all.
It's a compromise really but one that I don't enforce on my own stories.
Those low scores without explanation do grate the nerves though don't they?
That being said, I can understand how people wanting to leave a low score might be deterred from doing so if forced to state why.
I suppose in many instances this would just lead to neither a score or comment being left at all.
It's a compromise really but one that I don't enforce on my own stories.
Those low scores without explanation do grate the nerves though don't they?
Scarlet Seductress
The most fucked up I'd rather not say.
It's still something that plays on my mind from time to time.
Something I will share with you is this:
I was sat in the waiting room of an A&E at hospital a few years ago, I'd fractured a finger playing hockey in school and was getting an x-ray.
A police car came screaming up to the door, lights flashing, sirens blazing and two cops dived out of the front seats and helped a colleague out of the back.
Although all of his clothing was black, I couldn't see a single inch of him that wasn't covered in blood. As he stumbled with them propping him up either side he was leaving footsteps of blood on the floor.
He was cradling his right arm and his face was as white as snow - I dare say a few more minutes and he'd have bled to death.
I read in the paper a couple of days later that the officer had been responding to a disturbance at a local pub. A fight had broken out between rival football supporters and when trying to break it up, he'd had his right hand blown off by a sawed-off shotgun.
It's still something that plays on my mind from time to time.
Something I will share with you is this:
I was sat in the waiting room of an A&E at hospital a few years ago, I'd fractured a finger playing hockey in school and was getting an x-ray.
A police car came screaming up to the door, lights flashing, sirens blazing and two cops dived out of the front seats and helped a colleague out of the back.
Although all of his clothing was black, I couldn't see a single inch of him that wasn't covered in blood. As he stumbled with them propping him up either side he was leaving footsteps of blood on the floor.
He was cradling his right arm and his face was as white as snow - I dare say a few more minutes and he'd have bled to death.
I read in the paper a couple of days later that the officer had been responding to a disturbance at a local pub. A fight had broken out between rival football supporters and when trying to break it up, he'd had his right hand blown off by a sawed-off shotgun.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite
for a day? sure. just for the experience. and yes, i'd do all the stuff the is gender specific too, like masturbate, get a blow job, get a job that pays double what i'd have gotten if i were female, get drunk and harass girls, pee on walls... that kind of thing.
Wait, so you don't do some of those things now?
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite
i got confused after this part...
Righty-ho young Sonny Jim old fella-me-lad matey-skip me old pal from the briny, let's see what we have here... after that, it all went south very quickly and my android went on a killing spree.
Rightey dokey matey bloke flap old salty seadog amigo skip-jack jockstrap piano tuner.
I'll have you know that is some comedy gold from a british TV series called 'Bottom' with Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson.
Scarlet Seductress
Porn addict has emergency surgery to remove live EEL he inserted up his backside to copy x-rated film
The 39-year-old man rushed himself to A&E at a hospital in southern China when he couldn't get the creature out following the kinky stunt.
(No picture for this one. Couldn't do it)
READ FULL ARTICLE: Daily Mirror
-----
Claire Smedley: Woman with Britain's biggest boobs says she's terrified they'll kill her relationship
Mum-of-three Claire Smedley, 30, has to be on her guard during sex in case her 40MMM boobs suffocate new boyfriend Chris.
READ FULL ARTICLE: Daily Mirror
-----
Let's all get married!
Wilsons Butchers in the UK are now selling the world's first, Pork Pie Wedding Cake. The three-tiered meaty treat will cost you a whopping £140.
OFFICIAL WEBSITE: Wilsons Butchers
-----
Video of cat playing with vacuum cleaner ‘is what the internet was made for’
A video of a cute ginger cat playing with a vacuum cleaner has become a viral hit, having already achieved more than two million views on YouTube.
The 38-second clip shows the moggy continually letting the vacuum suck up its tongue while it grasps the nozzle.
The kitten seems to be really enjoying itself – and the result is that YouTube users have gone fur crazy for the fuzzy feline.
The 39-year-old man rushed himself to A&E at a hospital in southern China when he couldn't get the creature out following the kinky stunt.
(No picture for this one. Couldn't do it)
READ FULL ARTICLE: Daily Mirror
-----
Claire Smedley: Woman with Britain's biggest boobs says she's terrified they'll kill her relationship
Mum-of-three Claire Smedley, 30, has to be on her guard during sex in case her 40MMM boobs suffocate new boyfriend Chris.
READ FULL ARTICLE: Daily Mirror
-----
Let's all get married!
Wilsons Butchers in the UK are now selling the world's first, Pork Pie Wedding Cake. The three-tiered meaty treat will cost you a whopping £140.
OFFICIAL WEBSITE: Wilsons Butchers
-----
Video of cat playing with vacuum cleaner ‘is what the internet was made for’
A video of a cute ginger cat playing with a vacuum cleaner has become a viral hit, having already achieved more than two million views on YouTube.
The 38-second clip shows the moggy continually letting the vacuum suck up its tongue while it grasps the nozzle.
The kitten seems to be really enjoying itself – and the result is that YouTube users have gone fur crazy for the fuzzy feline.
Scarlet Seductress
Most people don’t need to worry that their potential love partner is actually a member of their own family. But in Iceland, with its tiny population of 320,000 people, accidental is a just one of those kerrazy coincidences that happen every other day.
So to minimize the chance that you’re doing it with a family member, the app – called ‘Bump’ – allows future lovers to bump their phones together to find out their genealogical status. When the phones make contact, it accesses a database that tells you whether you’re good to go, or whether you need to back away from your sexy uncle.
The database was originally compiled by anti-virus software developer Friðrik Skúlason, and turned into an app by a company called Sad Engineer studios. The tagline? ‘Bump in the app before you bump in the bed.’
The ‘bump’ is enabled through a ‘fun’ feature called Prevention, which can tell the user by text or sound notification if they’re about to go poking around in their own overcrowded gene pool.
Source: BitterWallet
So to minimize the chance that you’re doing it with a family member, the app – called ‘Bump’ – allows future lovers to bump their phones together to find out their genealogical status. When the phones make contact, it accesses a database that tells you whether you’re good to go, or whether you need to back away from your sexy uncle.
The database was originally compiled by anti-virus software developer Friðrik Skúlason, and turned into an app by a company called Sad Engineer studios. The tagline? ‘Bump in the app before you bump in the bed.’
The ‘bump’ is enabled through a ‘fun’ feature called Prevention, which can tell the user by text or sound notification if they’re about to go poking around in their own overcrowded gene pool.
Source: BitterWallet
Scarlet Seductress
Earth Day is an annual day on which events are held worldwide to demonstrate support for environmental protection. Earth Day is observed on April 22 each year. The April 22 date was designated as International Mother Earth Day by a consensus resolution adopted by the United Nations in 2009. Earth Day is now coordinated globally by the Earth Day Network and is celebrated in more than 192 countries every year.
How you can celebrate Earth Day today:
Plant a tree
As the date also roughly coincides with U.S. Arbor Day, over time Earth Day has taken on the role of tree-planting. Planting trees helps to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, cleans pollution, secures soil in place to prevent erosion, and provides homes for a lot of biodiversity.
Make nature crafts at school or home
Get together with your family and build a birdhouse or make a bird feeder to encourage the local bird population, which plays an important role in every ecosystem. For an extra-special Earth Day craft, use objects that would've otherwise been thrown away to create beautiful works of art. The possibilities are endless.
Learn more about the environment
Earth Day is a good time to make a commitment to learning more about the environment and how you can help to protect it. Borrow some library books and read up on an issue such as pollution, endangered species, water shortages, recycling, and climate change.
Reduce, reuse and recycle all day long
Buy as little as possible and avoid items that come in lots of packaging. Support local growers and producers of food and products - these don't have to travel as far and so reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Take your drink container with you, and don't use any disposable plates or cutlery. Recycle all the things you do use for the day or find other uses for things that you no longer use. Carry a cloth bag for carrying things in and recycle your plastic bags.
Hold a garage sale, donate, or reuse household items
Many of us take up a lot of natural resources with stuff we don't really need, want or use. Ironically, there's a still lot of people who don't have basic necessities. Plus, a lot of your unwanted clutter can be used by local charities to resell for much-needed cash.
Ride your bike
Use your bicycle or other forms of human powered transportation to commute to work or school and to run errands.
Source: WikiHow Article
Official Website: Earth Day Network
How you can celebrate Earth Day today:
Plant a tree
As the date also roughly coincides with U.S. Arbor Day, over time Earth Day has taken on the role of tree-planting. Planting trees helps to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, cleans pollution, secures soil in place to prevent erosion, and provides homes for a lot of biodiversity.
Make nature crafts at school or home
Get together with your family and build a birdhouse or make a bird feeder to encourage the local bird population, which plays an important role in every ecosystem. For an extra-special Earth Day craft, use objects that would've otherwise been thrown away to create beautiful works of art. The possibilities are endless.
Learn more about the environment
Earth Day is a good time to make a commitment to learning more about the environment and how you can help to protect it. Borrow some library books and read up on an issue such as pollution, endangered species, water shortages, recycling, and climate change.
Reduce, reuse and recycle all day long
Buy as little as possible and avoid items that come in lots of packaging. Support local growers and producers of food and products - these don't have to travel as far and so reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Take your drink container with you, and don't use any disposable plates or cutlery. Recycle all the things you do use for the day or find other uses for things that you no longer use. Carry a cloth bag for carrying things in and recycle your plastic bags.
Hold a garage sale, donate, or reuse household items
Many of us take up a lot of natural resources with stuff we don't really need, want or use. Ironically, there's a still lot of people who don't have basic necessities. Plus, a lot of your unwanted clutter can be used by local charities to resell for much-needed cash.
Ride your bike
Use your bicycle or other forms of human powered transportation to commute to work or school and to run errands.
Source: WikiHow Article
Official Website: Earth Day Network
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite
my suggestion: wait for Dancing Doll's response and then follow her advice to the letter.not being funny here, i'm serious! that girl knows how to balance slut with dignity like nobody's business, and she know's how to articulate it into words far better than i can. :)
When I see one of these threads, I find myself automatically scrolling down looking for DD's post lol.Quote by AbigailThornton
Your boyfriend is an immature prick who doesn't deserve you. He is making you feel insecure by looking at other women - which is making you compare yourself to their appearance. A relationship is based on more than looks alone.
You want to make him happy? Great. But he needs to make you happy too. Connecting with your inner slut should be about you, not him.
Never, ever set out to change who you are (style and personality) to please someone else. It won't work and will make you unhappy.
People mould together within the comfort of a good relationship - you kind of knock the edges off each other - but it's something that just happens.
My advice to you - talk to him. Tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. If he doesn't change, you need to dump him and find someone who wants you.
Damn good post. Agony Abi is in the house.
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by clum
I appreciate that, Liz, but I'm not THAT technologically inept, haha. I know how to do it all but it just won't let me.
I can't proceed past your Step 6 because my phone just won't open the app once it's downloaded and installed.
Any error messages?
What version of Android are you running?
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by nicola
Quoted you three so you get this in your timeline notifications
Quote by clum
Quoted you three so you get this in your timeline notifications :)
Quote by frank
Quoted you three so you get this in your timeline notifications :)
Righty-ho young Sonny Jim old fella-me-lad matey-skip me old pal from the briny, let's see what we have here...
Step 1 - get a wiggle over to the Amazon App Store App download page:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/mas/get/android/ref=mas_rw_ldg
Hit the download button and confirm the warning at the bottom
Step 2 - Assuming your Android setup is 'out of the box', hit the Settings button on this security pop-up window.
Step 3 - Tick the 'Unknown Sources' option in the menu.
Step 4 - Click 'OK' on the security pop-up.
Step 5 - Head over to your 'Downloads' on the device and click on the Amazon APK file your just downloaded.
Step 6 - Click 'Next' on the install screen.
Step 7 - Login with your Amazon account details.
Step 8 - Search for the App.
Step 9 - Hit the 'Download' button.
Step 10 - Hit the Install button to confirm everything.
You now have a cheeky looking LS icon in your Apps screen and an awesome collection of filthy, saucy goodness at your fingertips!
If anyone has any problems with this process, please post below and I will try to help you out with it.
Took me 5 mins including the screenshots.
Liz x
Scarlet Seductress
Simon's Cat is an animated cartoon series by the British animator Simon Tofield featuring a hungry house cat who uses increasingly heavy-handed tactics to get its owner to feed it.
Sounds good already right?
You can check out his YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/simonscat/videos
Sounds good already right?
You can check out his YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/simonscat/videos
