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Liz
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Female, 31
0 miles · England
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by orangefox444
Liz, thanks so much for all your efforts in putting together this post, I've seen every episode and many two or three times. I cannot for the life of me remember the title of my favourite episode, however, I can I think offer a review, the episode that showed a murder and the room was locked and no apparent escape method was possible (similar if I remember rightly to the recent Easter Episode) or was that Columbo?

It was at its best I would say with Caroline Quentin as Watson to Jonathan's Sherlock. Oh and was it just me or did you want to live in a windmill too?

A great piece of entertainment folks.


Locked room murder, hmm, been a few of those
Possibly the House of Monkeys? Samurai sword through the back? Excellent one.

Caroline Quentin episodes are my favourite too.
Her character had a fantastic sense of humour so they complimented each other very well.

YES YES YES!!!
Windmill would be awesome!
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress


FOR THE LADIES:

- Would you like to see the guys wearing these this summer?
- Would you let your fella wear one of these?

FOR THE GUYS:

- Would you?
- Could you?

Your thoughts below
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by AbigailThornton
I used to sneakily borrow my brother's Gillettes. He ripped his face off but my underarms were wonderfully smooth smile


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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Delphi


No way! The actual double standard is that it's flashing when we do it and perfectly normal for the opposite sex.

I flash in retaliation of this. (ask me later and I'll have another excuse)

As for when I drop trou....well, those are special moments. Like if I have a quick getaway.



I knew there was more to you than meets the eye
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite


that would be Clum *giggles*


I was only joking with him about this the other day!
He said his were bigger than mine and quite hairy
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite
a lawn mower and a gallon of diesel fuel.


It's true, I've seen the video
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by brigit


Haha! Maybe, but boobs are awesome so who could possibly object?!


Very nice
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Delphi
I love this thread!

Liz, I suppose I'm a weird fucker. I've been the flasher more than I've been the flash-ee. In my defense, it's mainly boobs. Though I've been known to drop trou.

It's all in good fun, and I'm nearly shameless.


Boobs are ok in my book
Is that a double standard? LOL
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Just4fun3
So, I was walking down the street the other day when a guy in a parking lot pulls down his pants as I walk by him showing me his cock. I was surprised when I got to work and that other girls at different times have experienced guys flashing them. So, has it happened to you? Did it scare you? What were your thoughts?


It's happened to me twice actually.
Both times were in town at the weekends, either walking to another club or waiting for a taxi - it was late and they were drunk.
Middle of the day in a parking lot sounds much more creepy though

Best thing to do, in my opinion, is just ignore it. Plenty of weird fuckers about.
If they ever approach you though, then that's something else.

I had a guy grab me in a club a while ago, I was with some friends and he was with some of his. He snuck up behind me, wrapped one arm around my waist and grabbed my ass with the other.
I span round and laid him out, broke his nose, there was quite a lot of blood.
At the time I considered it a slight over reaction on my part but thinking now, I should have kicked him in the balls whilst he was down.
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
As crispy as the fires of hell can make it and draped on a naked woman (or two)
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
*Image removed by Rage Patrol*

Oh my God, she has boobs! I should get her attention with something classy, but what to shout...

"Oy love! Show us your tits!"

Fucking morons

"How about you show me your tits!"
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Had to share with you fine folks of Lush one of my favourite TV series.
Jonathan Creek is a British mystery series produced by the BBC and written by David Renwick. Primarily a crime drama, the show is also peppered with broadly comic touches. It stars Alan Davies as the title character, who works as a creative consultant to a magician while also solving seemingly supernatural mysteries through his talent for logical deduction and knowledge of illusionism.
Forget Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot, if you want to really wrack your brain with a good mystery, check out this floppy haired super sleuth!



If you're a fan, drop a comment below and let us know which episodes are your favourite.
If you have never watched any of these before and you are a mystery enthusiast, why not check them out?
You won't be disappointed.

Season 1
S1E1 - The Wrestler's Tomb - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEoGd3UZlCY
S1E2 - Jack in the Box - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_uVLbaDLe0
S1E3 - The Reconstituted Corpse - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBAu_87lIqI
S1E4 - No Trace of Tracy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibYF4Y2yCTM
S1E5 - The House of Monkeys - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSVUQr7L2U8

Season 2
S2E1 - Danse Macabre - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jllBVbocWMU
S2E2 - Time Waits for Norman - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ-MSZi3-pE
S2E3 - The Scented Room - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62PsnCZWayA
S2E4 - The Problem at Gallows Gate (1/2) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr53tNvtcNA
S2E5 - The Problem at Gallows Gate (2/2) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWboNqUMyHg
S2E6 - Mother Redcap - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w33fCKkDWBc

Christmas Special
S2E7 - Black Canary - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_CWGOG-cHk

Season 3
S3E1 - The Curious Tale of Mr Spearfish - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHE4diUfy4c
S3E2 - The Eyes of Tiresias - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTtkLZ79LzU
S3E3 - The Omega Man - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oPTNDNCHXo
S3E4 - Ghost's Forge - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEKb-IvFII0
S3E5 - Miracle in Crooked Lane - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZoX_FGovJQ
S3E6 - The Three Gamblers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rKjc2xCYDE

Christmas Special
S3E7 - Satan's Chimney - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuo8PqxDt1c

Season 4
S4E1 - The Coonskin Cap - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwy6c1ocTRI
S4E2 - Angel Hair - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7aPk6Hx2io
S4E3 - The Tailor's Dummy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUqRl4VNgUE
S4E4 - The Seer of the Sands - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFMHjcj_RA0
S4E5 - The Chequered Box - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mGp6103MY4
S4E6 - Gorgons Wood - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFfzDk_Weo

New Years Special
S4E7 - The Grinning Man - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16nM-9BQXfM

Easter Special
S4E8 - The Judas Tree - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhWywusa55Q

Easter Monday Special
The Clue of the Savant's Thumb - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qi9cIBGXGk
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite


I saw this on your profile

Boots, cats, boots, cats, knee high boots, cats, boots, cats, bee, bee, bee, bee - LOL
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by todream65
I had a really good laugh from the elderly woman's comment from the Classy smokes a cigar story....Thanks for sharing your experiences there.


That was what made it so funny
The completely deadpan statement, it was such a piece of comedy gold LOL.
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Certainly a lot of love for the office place
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Kimasa
The worlds population is over 70 billion and its estimated that 3.5% of those make up the LGBT community (which includes men).

I don't think there is anything to worry about. Humans are not on the endangered species list.


I think it might be 7 billion
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Mazza

I don't know if this is true or not, but it DID make me giggle!!



YES!!!
This is awesome!
Nice find Maz
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by AbigailThornton
You could borrow Rex and Warrington from my 'Lizzie's Lost World'. Might give you a laugh to imagine them guarding your shop. (Rex does get the shits when he eats meat though!)


Who will clean up after Rex?

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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by Shylass
I'll just clarify, I'm looking for silly/impossible ideas that will make me laugh.


This is the best thread I have read for a while, so much potential for laughs galore!
Nice one Daisy!

###############

You set up several digital cameras inc. flashes, hooked up to a sensor. When the perp starts relieving themselves, the cameras all go off snapping a full body shot regardless of standing or squatting.
You send the photos to me and I Photoshop either:

- Their cocks to 25% of their size (for the guys)
- A nasty looking ZZ-Top bush between their legs (for the gals)

You display them as a slideshow on a large screen in the window for the amusement of all.



###############

A sensor triggers a trapdoor which opens up underneath them.
Whilst stuck in the pit, a specially designed chemical compound gets sprayed on them which eats through all clothing and hair without causing any other damage.
After 10 minutes or so, a door slides open in the side of the pit allowing them to crawl their way to freedom.
Through a mountainous collection of the human waste from your shop front of course! (Shawshank Redemption style)
They now have the enviable job of making their way home, naked, bald and covered in shit.



###############

The perp gets trapped in a cage and sprayed with chloroform.
Automated robotic arms carry them into a room in the back of the shop and strap them to a chair.
(Bit of computer programming required for this part - best ask Gav)
A random picture is selected from a Google Images search from a number of different key phrases, including but not limited to:

- The worlds worst tattoos
- Horrible sex tattoos
- What the hell is THAT!?
- Random shit

A second random generator selects a body part, onto which the design is then tattooed by one of the robotic arms.
When finished, the perp is promptly ejected through the front door of the shop and the whole system resets.
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
I'm slippery as fuck
when I give you a suck
Down on my knees
eager to please
But use some lube
all over your tube
and slide it between my boobs.

Challenge - senior sex
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by crazydiamond
My fanny, hands down.


I was waiting for someone to say it!

This
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Put an advert in the local paper for volunteer:

O.A.P.N.S.O. - Old Age Pensioner Nocturnal Security Officers



Failing that, these on sensors:
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
The FIRST idea I had when I started reading this was to electrify the tiles!
Beat me to it, damn!

The next that came to mind would be putting a little poster in the window - a couple of women laughing with a caption like:

"That is the smallest one I have ever seen!"


Might put them off smile
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by sprite


I asked Gav about that a while back. he said it's got something to do with the trained miniature elephants inside my computer. at the time, i didn't question it, but now, well... i've been stuffing peanuts into my hard drive for a few months now and, of course, keeping a thumble of water in there for them and... either he's been feeding me a story, or they died... sad
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Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Quote by clum
I'm curious about the notification you get when you've been quoted.

Is it triggered by someone clicking the "Quote" button of your reply or is it triggered by the string
Quote by username
Quoted text.[/ quote]?


I would assume that the 'Quote' button just runs the script to post a reply, then dumps the other users text into the window, inside those pre-defined tags.
I might be wrong, but it's probably the string that triggers the notification.
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