The profile pic isn't me. She's much prettier than i am. Recognize her?

Feel free to stop reading at any point after the 5th time I've offended, insulted, or bored you:

Yes, I did register on here to read stories.

Yes, I do have a low opinion of the lesser sex. That would be all males, in case I wasn't clear.

Yes, I can live without being your online fuckbuddy. Or anyone else's.

Yes, I'm sure your penis is impressive but I prefer a less...naked icebreaker. It's just I think it's a novel idea to chat longer than 5 minutes before you send a total stranger a dick pic.

Yes I'm short ( 5' 4" and 250 lbs).

Yes I'm honest. OK, I did just lie about my weight. I'm 235 lbs but only carry 200 of them around my waist.

Yes, I'm fully aware not everyone gets my sense of humor. Inconceivable! I figure it's not because they have no sense of humor but rather, because I'm so witty.

Yes, you can start praying for me at any time.

If you've made it this far, there's only 1 question: why?? I don't know why either. On to more important things.

INTERESTS:

Riding my bike. Hiking.

Note: I can confirm the rumor is true. Hiking in a flat landscape is called a stroll.

Biking. Camping.

Pedaling my bike longer distances. Frugal living

Reading about biking. Garage sales.

Stopping at yard sales while biking.

Doing maintenance on my bike myself.

Thinking about buying another bike. Yard sales.

And for a change of pace, wondering if my bike is thinking about me too.