
Quote by 1LovelyKinkyKitsune
Not everyone is so extreme or slaps a person then seeks to comfort or calls them something nasty then says "I love you." If they do it is consensual. I would think manipulation, even like that could be outside BDSM. I would think BDSM people are MORE aware and MORE aware of what they are doing. They are GIVING control (sub) of FREE choice on things they actually "like." Being aware of what you like and do not like allows you to explore & that is why communication is key. The roles are real and then there is "play." Just because there is kink or BD or something does not mean there is not REAL feelings and real love involved. You have to take each individual relationship by itself and get to know them before you can say things about it. In a relationship you want to please the other person. the D is actually pleasing the sub as the sub wishes. (So who is really "in control"? The answer is BOTH - it is really mutual trust, trust enough to act in those ways). The level of things varies as much as the individuals dogma and views. lol It is not about controlling people who want to mindfuck someone into their web and play at manipulating someone and emotionally hurt their partner. It is not always about negative - negative as it seems sometimes on the surface. It is understanding dynamics that widely vary and then acting those fantasies out together and living by your own standard of what is "acceptible" to YOU (BOTH).
Does that make any better sense?