All are great if clean but I prefer completely bare. Some men are tits men, legs men or ass men, me, I'm a pussy man and love the sight, scent and sound of a wet pussy whether hairy or not. All are different, in scent, texture, anatomy and, of course, their owners give them all some unique character too!
Completely waxed and regularly epilated are best because there's either no hair or what is there is soft and downy, shaved is OK if done well and recently otherwise I can get a bit sore round my mouth or on the tip of my tongue. Coloured ladies tend to be a bit more bristly than the lighter skinned ladies if not fully shaved so I have to be extra careful - it doesn't stop me though! If there's any hair then a landing strip is nice as long as what there is is only on the mons and leaves the lips free for my tongue to slip n' slide and enjoy the taste and textures without distraction for me or her. The only advantage of there being some hair is that it holds some of that lovely arousing scent.
Pussies are great - if I had one I wouldn't stop playing with it! I guess I'll just have to make do with my dick!
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MajPaddy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 70
0 miles · United Kingdom
Forum
Rookie Scribe
With tremendous respect anonymous1526, I think you're mostly wrong on the first point and definitely wrong on the second.
Different people have different views on love and sex. When a couple agree on the boundaries of their relationship and stay within those boundaries then there shouldn't be a problem. The whole basis of a relationship is trust: trust that your partner will not deceive you. In a relationship where there is openness, sharing and honesty there should be no room for deceit. The operative words in those sentences are, of course, 'shouldn't' and 'should'.
I started on the swinging scene as a newly-divorced man about twenty years ago. As a single man I met other couples, accompanied female friends to parties and, about 15 years ago, married one of those friends and we're still very happily married. We still go to swinging parties and we hold our own parties about four times a year. We have many, many wonderful friends that we meet with socially as well as sexually at parties: I've tutored some of their children in Maths, one friend fixes my car and I fix his computer, another has passed some business my way, we stay with others at their luxury seaside flat even though we don't 'play' there. I think the community of like-minded friendship that we have is more important than the sex.
Of all the couples we know there are as many different agreements between them: some will only play with their own partners but like to be with/watched by others while they do it, some play only with others at parties (presumably because they spend the rest of the time with their SO), some come to parties with the lady bringing a 'toy boy' younger man and some couples each have a mistress/lover and openly talk about them.
I would never attempt to see anyone other than at parties and, because I completely trust my wife, I know that she wouldn't either. At a party she knows what I'm doing and I know what she's doing so there's no deceit.
True, we have seen some relationships break down but no more than in a non-swinging context. One chap used to sometimes bring his wife to a party, sometimes bring his 18 year-old girlfriend and sometimes both; it all went wrong when the 18 year-old got pregnant! One couple were regulars at our parties but their marriage ended purely because she wanted children and he didn't - nothing to do with swinging. The worst case we've had in all twenty years was when it became clear that, of a couple new to our group (who hadn't themselves been together long), the man was being pushy when she wasn't interested in swinging. He was separately taken aside and told to back off and then they were politely asked to leave our party because she wasn't happy.
If there's any selection bias in what I'm saying I suppose its because we lose track of some of our party guests and we don't know whether it's because they died, moved away, split up or because they simply moved on to other groups or parties (perhaps nearer home or catering to interests or an age group more appropriate for them). All I can say is that the vast majority of couples we know are well-balanced and appear to have happy and stable relationships.
So, 'Relationship wrecker': sometimes (but no more often than for non-swingers) and 'Simple': absolutely not (there's nothing simple that can be assumed about relationships).
Different people have different views on love and sex. When a couple agree on the boundaries of their relationship and stay within those boundaries then there shouldn't be a problem. The whole basis of a relationship is trust: trust that your partner will not deceive you. In a relationship where there is openness, sharing and honesty there should be no room for deceit. The operative words in those sentences are, of course, 'shouldn't' and 'should'.
I started on the swinging scene as a newly-divorced man about twenty years ago. As a single man I met other couples, accompanied female friends to parties and, about 15 years ago, married one of those friends and we're still very happily married. We still go to swinging parties and we hold our own parties about four times a year. We have many, many wonderful friends that we meet with socially as well as sexually at parties: I've tutored some of their children in Maths, one friend fixes my car and I fix his computer, another has passed some business my way, we stay with others at their luxury seaside flat even though we don't 'play' there. I think the community of like-minded friendship that we have is more important than the sex.
Of all the couples we know there are as many different agreements between them: some will only play with their own partners but like to be with/watched by others while they do it, some play only with others at parties (presumably because they spend the rest of the time with their SO), some come to parties with the lady bringing a 'toy boy' younger man and some couples each have a mistress/lover and openly talk about them.
I would never attempt to see anyone other than at parties and, because I completely trust my wife, I know that she wouldn't either. At a party she knows what I'm doing and I know what she's doing so there's no deceit.
True, we have seen some relationships break down but no more than in a non-swinging context. One chap used to sometimes bring his wife to a party, sometimes bring his 18 year-old girlfriend and sometimes both; it all went wrong when the 18 year-old got pregnant! One couple were regulars at our parties but their marriage ended purely because she wanted children and he didn't - nothing to do with swinging. The worst case we've had in all twenty years was when it became clear that, of a couple new to our group (who hadn't themselves been together long), the man was being pushy when she wasn't interested in swinging. He was separately taken aside and told to back off and then they were politely asked to leave our party because she wasn't happy.
If there's any selection bias in what I'm saying I suppose its because we lose track of some of our party guests and we don't know whether it's because they died, moved away, split up or because they simply moved on to other groups or parties (perhaps nearer home or catering to interests or an age group more appropriate for them). All I can say is that the vast majority of couples we know are well-balanced and appear to have happy and stable relationships.
So, 'Relationship wrecker': sometimes (but no more often than for non-swingers) and 'Simple': absolutely not (there's nothing simple that can be assumed about relationships).
Rookie Scribe
My wife and I have held many swingers' parties - usually about 4 per year for the past twenty years with between 20 and 40 people (usually couples but sometimes with a couple of 'spare' and well-trusted guys). Though most of our guests are regulars we often get 'new blood' who've either not been in our group before or, sometimes, have never played at all before and have been brought along by good friends knowing our long-standing (
) reputation for relaxing, friendly, no-pressure evenings.
It's all too easy for a (usually new) guest at a party to make the mistake of thinking that everyone is up for everything so Rule No. 1 is 'No means No!'. For example, some ladies are only there for other ladies because they don't, perhaps, get a chance to play with them as much as they'd like in their real life and so men aren't what they're looking for that evening. Also, even though everyone can be confident that everyone else is there for a sexy, liberal evening it's also true that not everyone is necessarily there for actual sex. Some have come for an easy-going evening to chat with old friends, a chance to dress up in their sexy clothes, to soak up the sexy atmosphere and, perhaps, just watch others, a chance to have sex with their own partners in the presence of others (but not wanting to play with others) or, maybe, yes, some ladies and gents are looking for full-on sex with several partners within the space of a couple of hours or so. Ladies, in particular, appreciate an opportunity to get a chance to unwind after the car journey getting to us, relax in our home with a glass of wine or two, chat, gossip, laugh and generally get in the mood before deciding with whom they want to start the evening. I always think that a good balance for parties is 60% social and 40% sexual and rushing to get the physical side of the party started too soon is almost always a bad move; give it a couple of hours from the advertised start time.
If you have any new guests that aren't new to sex parties then make sure you introduce them to regular guests that you can trust to look after them so that they don't feel left out by any perception of cliquishness. If you have any newbies that haven't played at all before then, as host, you have a double-strength responsibility to make sure that they're comfortable about the evening, show them around the house and bedrooms, introduce them to others, etc, and, if they decide it's not for them and wish to leave be understanding about it, "it can be a lot to get used to at the start" and offer them the chance to come along another time for second try. We've had several couples who've come to our parties a few times before finally dipping their toes in the water and then not looking back!
We don't usually provide condoms or lube as all of our guests are used to bringing their own but it's not a bad idea as a courtesy to have some spares available. Sometimes we have couples who already play together a lot at other times and they've already agreed they won't use condoms with each other but Rule No. 2 is that use of condoms is expected unless all parties involved agree. Otherwise, no condom, no play!
We have put out our array of toys at times in the past but generally find that they're not used much. Of course, if provided, you need to make sure they're fully sterilised beforehand, all the batteries are working, the user manuals are available and they're put away afterwards having been fully sterilised again (just kidding about the user manuals).
We usually strip beds down by removing the duvet covers and pillows as they just get in the way and end up in a tangled heap on the floor (occupying floor space that others may want to use!). Also, if you leave them on the bed any 'juices' are harder to remove from a duvet cover than they are from a bottom fitted-sheet. Speaking of juices, some ladies welcome the use of a towel so they can really 'let go' without worrying about leaving large damp patches so have a few fluffy, absorbent towels handy for them.
The bedroom lights should be dimmed or low-brightness (or coloured) bulbs used. Curtains, blinds or shutters must be closed if the bedroom can be seen from outside. Also, since ladies, in particular, often arrive at parties in scanty or see-through clothing under a long coat make sure the downstairs rooms that can be seen into from the street or neighbour's houses or gardens are similarly curtained/shuttered. It all adds, anyway, to the cosy ambience of the party and helps with the escapist feel of the evening. If you're close to neighbours then you might want to consider making sure the windows are closed or try not to blush when they comment on how vocally religious your female guests were last night! It's not so much of a problem having windows closed in the Winter but neighbours are often enjoying their gardens in the Summer evenings at just the time you'd like to throw windows open because of the heat and humidity!
If some of your guests are a bit nervous (esp. if they're newbies) then sexy party games can be a bit of a threat as they might feel they're being coerced into something for which they're not prepared. However, we have had several themed party evenings that have gone down extremely well: Cops/Robbers/Gangsters/Molls, Pirates n' Wenches Ooh Aarrr! and, recently, a Roman Orgy/Toga party. There's a greater sense of involvement and anticipation for everyone if they have to put some thought into the costume they'll be wearing and, on the night, they're a good talking point to help break the ice.
We normally provide finger food (small pies, pizza, sausage rolls, cheese and pineapple on sticks, nuts, crisps/chips, celery/carrot sticks and savoury dips, grapes). You're not expected to feed everyone a full meal but it's good to have at least nuts, fruit and crisps/chips. As to drink: we tell everyone to "bring a bottle or two of whatever you want to drink" and provide some extra fizzy drinks, fruit juices and water. People often arrive with a couple of bottles of wine and forget that the driver will be on soft drinks most of the night. Make sure that the drinks area has plenty of room and try to encourage people to move away from there once they've filled their glass as, otherwise, it gets too crowded round the booze! If you don't want drinks taken upstairs you might want to put up some humorous signs requesting that drinks stay downstairs. Similarly, you might want to consider putting up signs telling the smokers where to go!
Rule No. 3 is HAVE FUN and, if you're in the South-East UK, invite us!
Paul (MajPaddy)
) reputation for relaxing, friendly, no-pressure evenings.It's all too easy for a (usually new) guest at a party to make the mistake of thinking that everyone is up for everything so Rule No. 1 is 'No means No!'. For example, some ladies are only there for other ladies because they don't, perhaps, get a chance to play with them as much as they'd like in their real life and so men aren't what they're looking for that evening. Also, even though everyone can be confident that everyone else is there for a sexy, liberal evening it's also true that not everyone is necessarily there for actual sex. Some have come for an easy-going evening to chat with old friends, a chance to dress up in their sexy clothes, to soak up the sexy atmosphere and, perhaps, just watch others, a chance to have sex with their own partners in the presence of others (but not wanting to play with others) or, maybe, yes, some ladies and gents are looking for full-on sex with several partners within the space of a couple of hours or so. Ladies, in particular, appreciate an opportunity to get a chance to unwind after the car journey getting to us, relax in our home with a glass of wine or two, chat, gossip, laugh and generally get in the mood before deciding with whom they want to start the evening. I always think that a good balance for parties is 60% social and 40% sexual and rushing to get the physical side of the party started too soon is almost always a bad move; give it a couple of hours from the advertised start time.
If you have any new guests that aren't new to sex parties then make sure you introduce them to regular guests that you can trust to look after them so that they don't feel left out by any perception of cliquishness. If you have any newbies that haven't played at all before then, as host, you have a double-strength responsibility to make sure that they're comfortable about the evening, show them around the house and bedrooms, introduce them to others, etc, and, if they decide it's not for them and wish to leave be understanding about it, "it can be a lot to get used to at the start" and offer them the chance to come along another time for second try. We've had several couples who've come to our parties a few times before finally dipping their toes in the water and then not looking back!
We don't usually provide condoms or lube as all of our guests are used to bringing their own but it's not a bad idea as a courtesy to have some spares available. Sometimes we have couples who already play together a lot at other times and they've already agreed they won't use condoms with each other but Rule No. 2 is that use of condoms is expected unless all parties involved agree. Otherwise, no condom, no play!
We have put out our array of toys at times in the past but generally find that they're not used much. Of course, if provided, you need to make sure they're fully sterilised beforehand, all the batteries are working, the user manuals are available and they're put away afterwards having been fully sterilised again (just kidding about the user manuals).
We usually strip beds down by removing the duvet covers and pillows as they just get in the way and end up in a tangled heap on the floor (occupying floor space that others may want to use!). Also, if you leave them on the bed any 'juices' are harder to remove from a duvet cover than they are from a bottom fitted-sheet. Speaking of juices, some ladies welcome the use of a towel so they can really 'let go' without worrying about leaving large damp patches so have a few fluffy, absorbent towels handy for them.
The bedroom lights should be dimmed or low-brightness (or coloured) bulbs used. Curtains, blinds or shutters must be closed if the bedroom can be seen from outside. Also, since ladies, in particular, often arrive at parties in scanty or see-through clothing under a long coat make sure the downstairs rooms that can be seen into from the street or neighbour's houses or gardens are similarly curtained/shuttered. It all adds, anyway, to the cosy ambience of the party and helps with the escapist feel of the evening. If you're close to neighbours then you might want to consider making sure the windows are closed or try not to blush when they comment on how vocally religious your female guests were last night! It's not so much of a problem having windows closed in the Winter but neighbours are often enjoying their gardens in the Summer evenings at just the time you'd like to throw windows open because of the heat and humidity!
If some of your guests are a bit nervous (esp. if they're newbies) then sexy party games can be a bit of a threat as they might feel they're being coerced into something for which they're not prepared. However, we have had several themed party evenings that have gone down extremely well: Cops/Robbers/Gangsters/Molls, Pirates n' Wenches Ooh Aarrr! and, recently, a Roman Orgy/Toga party. There's a greater sense of involvement and anticipation for everyone if they have to put some thought into the costume they'll be wearing and, on the night, they're a good talking point to help break the ice.
We normally provide finger food (small pies, pizza, sausage rolls, cheese and pineapple on sticks, nuts, crisps/chips, celery/carrot sticks and savoury dips, grapes). You're not expected to feed everyone a full meal but it's good to have at least nuts, fruit and crisps/chips. As to drink: we tell everyone to "bring a bottle or two of whatever you want to drink" and provide some extra fizzy drinks, fruit juices and water. People often arrive with a couple of bottles of wine and forget that the driver will be on soft drinks most of the night. Make sure that the drinks area has plenty of room and try to encourage people to move away from there once they've filled their glass as, otherwise, it gets too crowded round the booze! If you don't want drinks taken upstairs you might want to put up some humorous signs requesting that drinks stay downstairs. Similarly, you might want to consider putting up signs telling the smokers where to go!
Rule No. 3 is HAVE FUN and, if you're in the South-East UK, invite us!
Paul (MajPaddy)