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MorganHawke

Over 90 days ago

Bisexual Female, 62

United States

Profile Stories

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3 Mar 2011

Quote by Buddybear
Thank you, Morgan Hawke! Your advice is much appreciated. By my own self, at least.

My pleasure Buddy!

Quote by Buddybear
Too many stories here at Lush follow the plot model: 1. He conquered 2. He conquered again. 3. He smokes cigarette, brags about his conquest and threatens to conquer again. I only hope your influence here will improve the readability and eroticity of our stories.

All I can do is offer. It's up to the writer to decide if they want to try something other than that or not.

The main problem -- and first hurdle -- to writing Original erotica is the type of erotica the budding writer has been exposed to. If the only formula they've read is:

1. He conquered
2. He conquered again.
3. He smokes cigarette, brags about his conquest and threatens to conquer again.

Then it's going to be difficult to write anything else. Not because they can't write, but because it's all they know how to write.

In my case, the first type of erotica I was exposed to was the Bodice-ripper. In other words, Non-Consensual erotica, which is not only unrealistic, it's Unacceptable on this site.

1. He saw.
2. She ran.
3. He captured & conquered.
4. She decided she liked it.

As you can see, I have my own writing problems cut out for me. smile

smile

3 Mar 2011

Quote by sprite
I love the break down here, where you have written the scene 4 times, each time adding another layer. I've use this method myself for certain things, but it's opened my eyes to a whole new way of writing, something else to try. thanks!

I'm glad you like it!
-- It's a really good method to use when you're in a hurry because you can always add more later.

Quote by sydnancy
Excellent teaching tool. I'm going to try it. Thanks!

I'm pleased you like it!
-- I'd be very interested in what you think of the results.

3 Mar 2011

I can resist anything, but Temptation.

3 Mar 2011

Anaheim

3 Mar 2011

Dragnet

3 Mar 2011

Quote by sprite
...on a more serious note, what a wonderful edition - I've been reading, it not always commenting, Ms Hawke's posts, and finding them of great use. As she says, some of it doesn't fit my style, but all of it is worth putting some thought into and certainly, it's a boon for all of the writers here.

Comments are completely optional. As long as you're reading them and finding something of worth in them, I'm happy!

Quote by sprite
...and yes, this despite the fact that she is still waving off my multiple offers of marriage.

But I'm not ready to be a spouse yet...! Can't we just live in sin?

Quote by sprite
...between her and Nic, i'm starting to feel a little unwanted

That's not true at all! I value your bright and perky titti-- err, personality!

Quote by sprite
anyways, hope you keep on finding us friendly and stay a good long spell.

I plan on being here for as long as Nicola and Gypsymoth can stand me. :)

3 Mar 2011

Bubbles --> tiny bubbles --> Hawaii!

3 Mar 2011

Oklahoma

3 Mar 2011

Quote by nicola
We are delighted to announce that Morgan will be working closer with the lush team, and is happy to offer her advice and expertise...

I am thrilled to be here and offer my assistance to those who'd like it.
-- Lush is one of the most friendly and welcoming story sites I've ever visited. I love you guys!

2 Mar 2011

Quote by Catnip
The Lush Lounge...

Another photo manipulation I made.

Click for full-size.

2 Mar 2011

Quote by Catnip
...I was thinking about the looks of our chat rooms. How do we imagine the bedroom? What carpet is in the lounge...?

This is how I envision the Bedroom.
-- This is a photo manipulation I created.

Click for full-sized image.

2 Mar 2011

“[I]I was just wondering what you think about interior monologues, long passages of reflection?[/I]”
-- Curious Kitty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[B][I]A note on:[/I] Interior Monologues [/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether you are considering adding a lengthy monologue to a story, or intend the monologue to be the story itself; where the focus of the entire story is on one character’s thoughts and feelings with very little action, from my observations and experimentation, the readers either love them or hate them. There's no in-between.

However, it is notable that the monologue stories that are sought out most frequently usually focus on a profound emotion of some kind: [I]grief, loneliness, heartache[/I]... Usually by those seeking to deal with such an emotion as a kind of therapy, or by those that have never felt such emotions. (Strong emotional stories are extremely popular with young adults.)

In both cases, not only does the reader seek to submerge themselves in these profound emotions, they are also looking for a solution, a way back out from under these feelings.

In short, don’t try to write something like this unless you already have a solution to your story problem in mind. You really don’t want the hate mail that will come if you leave your readers hanging.

I'm an escapist by nature, so I fall into the other category -- those that can only handle internal monologues in extremely tiny doses. I prefer my emotionally deep thoughts mixed in with the character [I]doing[/I] something; an action scene [I]flavored[/I] by internal narration, rather than a lengthy monologue.

Being older (in my 40's,) I've actually had to deal with these sorts of emotions; [I]death, grief, heartache, loss...[/I] on a far too personal basis, so dwelling on them (reading long emotional passages,) isn't something I'm comfortable with.

Interestingly enough, the scanlated Japanese novellas that I've been reading seem to be almost solid immersions into emotion with action sprinkled in to give it a sense of motion -- even if the motion is merely circular.

Unfortunately, scanlations of any kind are extremely [I][B]subjective[/B][/I]. They're chosen because they appeal to the English-reading folks scanlating the story. Because of this, there's no way to tell of this is a common Japanese style, or merely a sign of the scanlators' preferences.

[B][I]In Conclusion…[/I][/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When deciding whether or not your monologue is appropriate for what you are writing, consider your target reading audience.

If you’re writing a story steeped in emotional upswings such as a romance, a monologue or two will probably fit right in. However, if you’re writing something with lots of action such as an adventure, you just might want to consider sprinkling bits of light action among your passages of deep thought to keep it from dragging down the pace you’ve already set for your story.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

2 Mar 2011

[CENTER]"[I]If you have Action and Dialogue, do you really NEED Description too?
What is the difference?[/I]"

[B]Dialogue, Action & Description ~ The Layers of Fiction[/B][/CENTER]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]Dialogue Only[/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!”

“Ah, Watanuki-kun!”

“Here you go Himawari-chan!”

“Thank you, Watanuki-kun!”

“You are very welcome, Himawari-chan.”

“I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san. Do I need to tell you what she said?”

“No! No, you don’t, and I [I]don’t [/I]want to hear it! I don’t need a freaking baby-sitter!”

“Yuuko thinks you do.”

“That’s her! Not me!”

“Are you a fortune-teller?”

“No! Of course not!”

“I’ll come get you after class. I’ll get the instructor to let you wait while I practice.”

“What? No! I said I don’t want to wait…!”

“You gonna eat that?”

“Yes I am!”

“Tea.”

“I do not, not, [I]NOT[/I] take orders from you!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is “Talking Head Syndrome.” There are no dialogue tags, because I don’t use them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]ACTION with Dialogue [/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lunch time found Kimihiro walking around to the back of the school carrying the three lacquered wood bento boxes.

Himawari was already at their chosen spot.

Kimihiro couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. He waved. “Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!”

Himawari looked over at Kimihiro smiled. “Ah, Watanuki-kun!”

Doumeki came from around the opposite corner of the building. He was talking on his cell phone, or rather, grunting into it.

Kimihiro sighed.

Doumeki’s gaze found Kimihiro’s and his eyes narrowed.

Kimihiro felt the small hairs on his arms lift. He turned away to unwrap the bento boxes and offered Himawari a box. “Here you go Himawari-chan!”

Smiling, Himawari took the box from Kimihiro without making any physical contact. “Thank you, Watanuki-kun!”

“You are very welcome, Himawari-chan.” Watanuki sighed and pulled out cups.

Doumeki strode up to stand before Kimihiro. “I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san.”

Kimihiro looked up and his mouth fell open. The iced tea he was pouring spilled slightly over his hand. He grabbed for a paper napkin to wipe at the small mess.

Doumeki snapped the small phone closed, and tucked it into the front fold of his gi. He held out his hand.

Kimihiro shoved the bento box at him.

Doumeki took the box from Kimihiro’s hands and his gaze narrowed on Kimihiro’s face. “Do I need to tell you what she said?”

“No! No, you don’t, and I [I]don’t[/I] want to hear it!” Kimihiro turned away and flopped cross-legged onto the spread blanket at Himawari’s side. “I don’t need a freaking baby-sitter!” He pried open his bento box.

Doumeki moved to Kimihiro’s immediate right and stepped into the space between Kimihiro and Himawari. He settled cross-legged on the blanket with a grunt, seating himself between them.

Watanuki rolled his eyes.

Doumeki turned and his gaze locked on Kimihiro’s. “Yuuko thinks you do.”

Kimihiro felt his hackles lift. He scooted back. “That’s her! Not me!”

Doumeki’s gaze narrowed to slits. “Are you a fortune-teller?”

Kimihiro stared at him. “No! Of course not!”

“I’ll come get you after class.” He turned away to pry open his lunch box. “I’ll get the instructor to let you wait while I practice.”

Kimihiro stared at him open mouthed. “What? No! I said I don’t want to wait…!”

Doumeki picked up the chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth with one hand. He plugged the ear on Kimihiro’s side with the pinky finger of the other.

Kimihiro ranted and raved until he was red in the face.

Doumeki continued to eat with one ear plugged.

Kimihiro added kicks and gestures to his gripes and complaints, and even tried writhing on the ground.

Doumeki turned to face Kimihiro. “You gonna eat that?” He pointed at Kimihiro’s full bento box.

Kimihiro grabbed for his food. “Yes I am!” He snatched up his chopsticks and stabbed it into his box. Glaring at the larger boy, he shoved the piece of food into his mouth and chewed.

Himawari burst into giggles.

Doumeki held out his hand. “Tea.”

Kimihiro reached for the thermos and a tea cup then froze. He turned to glare Doumeki.

Doumeki continued to hold out his hand, his gaze unwavering.

Kimihiro handed him the cup of tea.

Doumeki took the cup of tea, and the slightest of smiles curved his mouth.

A hard shiver skittered up Kimihiro’s spine. He jerked his gaze away.

Doumeki’s gaze drifted down to his teacup, and announced what he’d like for tomorrow’s lunch.

“I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!”

Doumeki’s reply was yet another smile.

Himawari giggled.

Tanpopo chirped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the first one, you could HEAR what was happening, like a Radio Show. In the second one you could HEAR and SEE what was happening, like a black and white TV. Shall we put it on the Big Screen?

[B]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DESCRIPTION with Action, & Dialogue[/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lunch time found Kimihiro walking around to the back of the school carrying the three lacquered wood [I]bento[/I] boxes wrapped in a large cloth in one hand, and the thermos of chilled jasmine tea in the other.

Himawari was already at their chosen spot under the tree. She knelt on the small picnic blanket, neat and prim in her stark black skirt and white summer top, while talking cheerfully to her tiny bright yellow bird, Tanpopo, [I]Dandilion[/I]. The ultra-feminine black coils of her sumptuous mane spilled down her back and tumbled down around her lap. Two small coiling tails bound with yellow bows framed either side of her impishly sweet face.

Kimihiro couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. [I]So cuuute![/I] Himawari was everything a pretty girl should be, and she was just as sweet as she appeared. He waved. “Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!”

If only she didn’t have that…condition.

Himawari looked over at Kimihiro and her smile was as bright as the sun. “Ah, Watanuki-kun!”

The tall, broad-shouldered, and pointedly masculine form of Doumeki came from around the opposite corner of the building. His short-cropped black hair gleamed blue in the sunlight. He was dressed in the white [I]keiko-gi[/I] top and ground-sweeping black [I]hakima [/I]trousers of his [I]Kyudo[/I], archery club uniform. Apparently, he’d spent the last period at the archery range. He was talking on his cell phone, or rather, grunting into it. His gaze was somewhere off in the distance and lips were turned slightly downward.

Kimihiro sighed. That was Doumeki for you. He appeared to only ever show one of two expressions, if he had an expression, an almost-scowl, or an almost-smirk. Of the two, the smirk was worse; it was downright disturbing.

Doumeki’s gaze found Kimihiro’s and his golden eyes narrowed.

Kimihiro felt the small hairs on his arms lift. [I]He’s staring at me in that creepy way again.[/I] It was enough to very nearly sour Kimihiro’s appetite.

Yuuko had once asked him, “What don’t you like about Doumeki?”

Kimihiro couldn’t very well tell her… [I]“Because he stares at me like, he wants to hit me or do something…else, something embarrassing and vulgar. When he smirks, it’s worse. It’s like, he’s laughing at me, and about to do something vulgar. On top of that, when he actually talks what he says never goes with the look on his face. And he does it all the damned time!”[/I]

It sounded stupid even in his thoughts.

He turned away to unwrap the bento boxes, slapped on a sunny smile strictly for Himawari, and offered her a box. “Here you go Himawari-chan!”

Smiling, Himawari took the box from Kimihiro without making any physical contact. “Thank you, Watanuki-kun!”

“You are very welcome, Himawari-chan.” Watanuki sighed in contentment and pulled out the small plastic cups for the tea. Lunch with sweet, adorable, completely predictable Himawari was the highlight of his entire day.

Doumeki strode up to stand before Kimihiro and his voice deepened to a base growl. “I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san.”

Kimihiro looked up at his nemesis and his mouth fell open in shock. Doumeki was talking to Yuuko? The iced tea he was pouring spilled slightly over his hand. Startled, he grabbed for a paper napkin to wipe at the small mess. He knew, he just knew, Yuuko had told Doumeki to walk him back. [I]That conniving, controlling, over-protective…[/I]

Doumeki snapped the small phone closed, and tucked it into the front fold of his [I]gi[/I]. He held out his hand, clearly asking for the [I]bento[/I] at Kimihiro’s side.

[I]Selfish bastard…[/I] Furious, Kimihiro shoved the [I]bento[/I] box at him.

Doumeki took the box from Kimihiro’s hands and his gaze narrowed on Kimihiro’s face. “Do I need to tell you what she said?”

“No! No, you don’t, and I [I]don’t[/I] want to hear it!” Kimihiro turned away and flopped cross-legged onto the spread blanket at Himawari’s side. He would not, [I]would not[/I], look at him. “I don’t need a freaking baby-sitter!” He pried open his [I]bento[/I] box, determined to eat and enjoy some cheerful conversation with Himawari.

Doumeki moved to Kimihiro’s immediate right and stepped into the space between Kimihiro and Himawari. He settled cross-legged on the blanket with a grunt, seating himself between them.

Watanuki rolled his eyes. One might suppose that Doumeki was merely keeping the two from coming into accidental physical contact, which would trigger Himawari’s rather volatile and highly dangerous condition. However, Watanuki knew for a fact that Doumeki had done it simply to annoy him.

Doumeki turned and his golden gaze locked on Kimihiro’s. He was so close Kimihiro could actually feel his body heat. The scent of soap and temple incense drifted from him. “Yuuko thinks you do.”

Kimihiro felt his hackles lift. He scooted back, away from Doumeki’s unnervingly warm presence. “That’s her! Not me!”

Doumeki's gaze narrowed to hard gold slits. “Are you a fortune-teller?”

Fortune-teller? Kimihiro stared at him. What the hell…? “No! Of course not!”

“I’ll come get you after class.” He turned away to pry open his flat black lunch box. “I’ll get the instructor to let you wait while I practice.”

Kimihiro stared at him open mouthed. “What? No! I said I [I]don’t [/I]want to wait…!”

Doumeki picked up the chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth with one hand. He plugged the ear on Kimihiro’s side with the pinky finger of the other. Clearly, Doumeki was not listening.

Kimihiro ranted and raved until he was red in the face.

Doumeki continued to eat with one ear plugged.

Kimihiro added kicks and gestures to his gripes and complaints, and even tried writhing on the ground.

Doumeki turned to face Kimihiro with absolutely no expression on his face what so ever. “You gonna eat that?” He pointed at Kimihiro’s full bento box with his chopsticks.

Kimihiro grabbed for his food. “Yes I am!” He snatched up his chopsticks and stabbed it into his box blindly. Glaring at the larger boy, he shoved the piece of food into his mouth and chewed with extra emphasis.

Himawari burst into giggles.

Still completely expressionless, Doumeki held out his hand. “Tea.”

Kimihiro reached for the thermos and a tea cup then froze. [I]Son of a bitch! Who does he think I am, his damned wife?[/I] He turned to glare at the overgrown pain in his ass.

Doumeki continued to hold out his hand, his gaze unwavering and clearly expectant.

Kimihiro handed him the cup of tea.

Doumeki took the cup of tea, and the slightest of satisfied smiles curved the very edge of his mouth.

A hard shiver skittered up Kimihiro’s spine. He jerked his gaze away. He hated it when Doumeki looked at him like that; like he’d done something both pleasing and perverted at the same time.

Doumeki’s gaze drifted down to his teacup, and in a completely emotionless voice, he announced what he’d like for tomorrow’s lunch.

Kimihiro very nearly threw his bento box at him. “I do not, not, [I]NOT[/I] take orders from you!”

Doumeki’s reply was yet another of those smug half-smirks.

Himawari’s giggling and Tanpopo’s amused chirping did not make Kimihiro feel any better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did I not include Internal Narration until I got to the Description layer?

Because Internal Narration is the POV character’s opinion of the events happening around them.

Most authors include Internal Narration; but many, MANY of the same authors forget that the POV character’s physical observations -- what they see, and experience -- belongs in there too, not just what they thought about it.

In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once you add Description to your Dialogue and Action, you add depth perception. Instead of the reader merely being an observer, someone who can hear and see what's going on like a movie, Description allows the reader to step into your characters’ skin and become a participant in the story.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]DISCLAIMER: [/B][I]As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.[/I]

2 Mar 2011

Quote by nicola

You should write a "How to" book. I've heard this is a good read: http://www.amazon.com/Cheaters-Writing-Erotic-Romance-Publication/dp/160180038X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1295000136&sr=1-2

You know, I've heard that too.

2 Mar 2011

[CENTER][B][I]The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work: [/I]
Action THEN Reaction!
~~~~~~~~~~~
[I]Putting the Reaction BEFORE the Action is the Most Common Mistake in Fiction.[/I][/B]

“The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.”
WRONG! [/CENTER]
Why is this wrong?
-- If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

[I]Actual Sequence of events: [/I]
1) Her hand lashed out at me in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

[CENTER][B]ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order[/B][/CENTER]
Chronological Order is the ONLY way to write an Action Scene. If you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order – you write it in THAT order.

[CENTER][B]REALITY = something random happens to you then…you react.
Action – Reaction / Action – Reaction
- in Chronological order[/B][/CENTER]
The finger pulls the trigger and THEN the shooter wonders: “Oh no, what have I done?”

Realistically, physical actions usually happen BEFORE dialogue. Most people ACT, and then comment, because physical reactions normally happen faster than thought. Thought happens after the fist has already shot out. Ask any martial artist.

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action - not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause, to answer a direct question.

Fiction works exactly the same way.

[CENTER][B]FICTION = the Plot happens to the characters then…they react.
Action – Reaction / Action – Reaction
- in Chronological order[/B][/CENTER]
1 - Something happened TO the character, (Action).
2 - The character feels the Physical Sensation - the Effects of the Action, (reaction)
3 - THEN they have an actual thought and/or comment about what had just happened, (Action)
4 - THEN they DO something about it, (Reaction).

[B]WRONG:[/B]
The flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction] from the slap her hand lashed out at me. [Action]

[B]RIGHT:[/B]
Her hand lashed out in a slap [action].

My cheek exploded with a flash of pain. [reaction]. “Ow!” [dialogue/action] I balled my hand into a fist and swung for her stomach. [reaction]

[B][I]Note:[/I] Why did I break that sequence into [I]Two[/I] lines? [/B]
-- Because Each character gets their own paragraph for their actions for exactly the same reason you separate each character's dialogue into two paragraphs. And while we're on the subject - Leave the Dialogue ATTACHED to that character's Actions! This way you never need to use dialogue tags such as 'he said' or 'she said'.

Back to the topic...

Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea. If you knock the actions out of order the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to Re-Read that sequence and rearrange the sentences into the correct order to get the movie back.

Making the story [I]hard[/I] for the reader to PICTURE -- is a VERY Bad Idea. Anytime the reader has to STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you’ve made a break. Breaks are BAD – very, very bad! A break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your story, and start reading something else -- and possibly never look at you again.

A lot of writers hesitate to break up the actions between characters because written chronological action and dialogue tends to look very choppy on the page. It doesn't look neat and tidy

[B]Neat and tidy be damned! [/B]
-- Once the reader has their Mental Movie rolling the reader won’t even SEE the words – they’ll be too busy watching the scenes in their head to even Notice that they are reading. Who cares how the words are arranged on the page? Screw aesthetics! Your first priority is keeping that reader reading -- and that means keeing their Mental Movie going!

[B][CENTER]How to FIX this chronic problem:[/CENTER][/B]
VISUALIZE your scenes as you write them. Play them as a movie in your head and write everything down EXACTLY as you see it. If it comes out in a pile of one short sentence after another, then add some smart-assed internal comments and/or dialogue. Just remember to add the comments at the END of the action paragraph -- and connected! Don't separate a character's dialogue from their actions. That's silly. Dialogue is action too!

[B][CENTER]What about Literary style?[/CENTER][/B]
What about it?
-- If you simply MUST have stylish phrasing in your fiction, save it for the descriptions, but keep it out of the actions.

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray - Chronological Order is the ONLY way to do it.

-------- Original Message -----------
[I]"I can't write an action/fight scene worth a crap. Mind you, I can usually imagine them, I just can't write them."[/I] -- Wanna Do a Fight Scene.

If you can imagine it - you can write it. The easiest way is by doing it in LAYERS.

[B][CENTER]The Quick and Dirty Method for writing Action Scenes[/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]Start with a list of ACTIONS & Reactions…
Don’t Forget! ~ Actions ALWAYS go Before Reactions. [/B][/CENTER]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]ACTION[/B]
-- IMPORTANT! Each Character gets their own paragraph. NEVER clump the separate actions of two different characters in the same paragraph or the reader will get confused as to who is doing what very quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab.

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point.

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]Add DIALOGUE.[/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're dead meat!" Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. "I don't think so!"

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]Add EMOTION.[/B]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add INTERNAL NARRATION.
-- Pick ONE character in that scene and add only THAT character's internal observations -- no others! ([I]More than one POV in a scene is known as HEAD-HOPPING.[/I])
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" The kid certainly had guts. Too bad he didn't have the skill to go with it. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled, knowing it would piss the kid off. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that." He was hoping the kid would figure out that he was out-matched and just bolt. He didn't like killing those that didn't actually deserve to die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seriously, if you can imagine it - you can write it.
Having problems imagining it? Watch MOVIES.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[B]DISCLAIMER: [/B][I]As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.[/I]

2 Mar 2011

The Secret to Proper Paragraphing

Once you know what your characters and doing and saying, how do you get all that down on Paper?

Writing DIALOGUE

Everybody knows that when a new speaker speaks they get a new paragraph, right? In other words, you DON'T put two different people talking in the same paragraph. Okay, yeah, so anyone who has written any kind of fiction learns this pretty darned quick, (usually from their readers.)

What nobody seems to get is that the same goes for a new character's ACTIONS. Seriously, when a new character ACTS they're supposed to get their own paragraph too. By the way, Dialogue is an ACTION.

In other words, you don't put two different characters’ Dialogue in the same paragraph BECAUSE you don't mix two characters' Actions.

“Wait a minute, doesn’t that cut everything into tiny bits, you know, when you cut all the dialogue away then divide up all those paragraphs?”

No because Character A’s dialogue is supposed to be IN Character A’s paragraph of actions. Character B gets his own paragraph of dialogue AND actions. You divide up a story’s paragraphs by individual Character -- not by individual lines of Dialogue.

What you definitely don’t do, is cut all the dialogue away from everything and mash all the different characters’ actions together in one messy paragraph where no one can tell who did what.

“Where the heck did THAT rule come from?”

Strunk & White’s Element’s of Style, the grammar handbook.

To wit…
-- "In dialogue, each speech, even if only a single word, is a paragraph by itself; that is, a new paragraph begins with each change of speaker."

This is often misinterpreted as "Make a new paragraph at every new line of dialogue."

Um... No. The key phrase here is "a new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."

As long as the Speaker is Acting, the Speaker HAS NOT CHANGED. However, every time a new character Acts, you ARE Changing Speakers - even if they don't talk! Therefore, each new character ACTING gets a New Paragraph, whether or not they have dialogue.

How this works...

WRONG:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. < -- Two Characters acting in the same paragraph.]

Becky mumbled, "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave it an identifying word to distinguish it from all the other stuffed cute kitty plushies." < -- this whole line is Abandoned Dialogue.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RIGHT:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?"

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave it an identifying word to distinguish it from all the other stuffed cute kitty plushies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's Missing?
-- 'Becky mumbled'. <-- This is an unnecessary Dialogue tag. Once you link a character's Dialogue to their corresponding Actions, you no longer need the Dialogue tags.

If you really, really want to add that Becky mumbled her words, describe it as an action. Don't TELL us that she mumbled, SHOW us.

Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. Her voice dropped to barely a mumble. "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave an identifying word to distinguish it from all the other stuffed cute kitty plushies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-----Original Message-----
"What if the next internals and action/dialogue are his, like:"

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. Her reaction was adorable and he couldn't resist needling her some more. "I thought you hated stuffies."

"Then can you lump those actions together?"
-- Thanks in advance -- Jas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Um... NO.
-- Remember this?

"…A new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."
-- When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and <-- Toby’s Actions / Becky’s Actions --> Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.

Becky didn’t say anything, but she IS acting -- a blush is an action -- therefore Becky gets her OWN paragraph.

Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. You named a stuffed animal?"

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.

This is incorrect too:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised.

Actions go BEFORE Reactions Toby was surprised so he commented: "You named a stuffed animal?" He didn't comment and THEN become surprised.

Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?"

All together now!

Original:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. Her reaction was adorable and he couldn't resist needling her some more. "I thought you hated stuffies."

Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. You named a stuffed animal?"

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.

Her reaction was so adorable, Toby couldn't resist needling her some more. "I thought you hated stuffies?"

-----Original Message-----
"But when you do that, it looks so...choppy on the page. There's ton's of empty white space!"
-- Hates Empty Space
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, it looks choppy on the page, but its Far More Important that there is absolutely no doubt in anyone’s mind as to who is acting and who is speaking.

Another Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't help me. I'm fine by myself," she told him, not bothering to be polite. He looked surprised and perhaps a little hurt. She heard another voice.

"Geez, you're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?" She got to her feet and brushed herself off, glancing in the direction of the newcomer. She nearly recoiled in shock. Another handsome guy. He crossed his arms over his chest. "He was just trying to help you." He told her. She readjusted her bag and said.

"I don't recall asking for help."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the way, once you separate each of your character's actions into new paragraphs and reconnect each character's dialogue to their actions, you won't need dialogue tags such as "said" because your character's actions are the identifiers for your dialogue.

With actions separated & dialogue attached.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She didn’t bother to be polite. "Don't help me. I'm fine by myself."

He looked surprised and perhaps a little hurt.

A new voice called out. "Geez, you're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?"

She got to her feet and brushed herself off, glancing in the direction of the newcomer. She nearly recoiled in shock. Another handsome guy.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "He was just trying to help you."

She readjusted her bag. "I don't recall asking for help."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you truly loathe all that white space, then fill it in with more actions, description, and internal narration observations.

-----Original Message-----
But what about when someone is watching someone else, or feeling someone do something to them? -- Concerned about Observation

This seems perfectly fine, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He watched her shake her butt.
He felt her skin move against his.

However, once you take this into account:

"…A new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."
-- When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.

Not so fine after all. You have two people acting in the same line -- in Both Cases.

The way around this little gem of a problem, is to SHOW the event by character rather than TELL it in one lump.

You begin by dividing the actions by Character:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He watched her.

She shook her butt and her skin moved against his.

He felt it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seems kind’a…short eh? That’s because those lines TOLD you what happened, instead of Showing you what happened, so there are all kinds of details missing. Once you add enough details to paint a whole picture…

Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From his seat at the edge of the stage, he watched her.

Tall, svelte, and completely nude, she moved in close and shook her butt. The round, firm flesh jiggled enticingly against his face.

His cheeks were subjected to the most incredible, though slightly sweaty, facial massage ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Character Thought & Dialogue

How does an author portray the direct thoughts of a character? ...I think I worded that question poorly, but what I'm trying to say is, when I want to show what a character is actually thinking, do I italicize? Anything of the sort? Or is this completely unnecessary?

Direct thoughts, as in what's spoken in the characters' heads, AND telepathic communication are both italicized. However, telepathic dialogue has Quotation Marks where direct thoughts do not.

Unfortunately, some websites don't allow you to italicize. When this happens, single quotes (') or slashes (/) can be uses to indicate that something is supposed to be italicized.

KILL the Dialogue Tags. (Seriously.)

-- When you have an action with a line of dialogue, you don't need Dialogue tags, such as "he said" -- at all. You already know through their actions WHO is speaking.

Dialogue tags are only ever needed when you don’t have any other way of identifying the speaker.

HOWEVER, if you have no other way of knowing who is speaking than dialogue tags, then you have committed the heinous crime of:

Dialogue in a Vacuum
- Also known as “talking heads syndrome.”

A book with nothing but reams of dialogue marked only by dialogue tags means that while people may be talking, there is no PICTURE. The mental movie has stopped and only the sound-track is playing. Compare it to a Radio Show with no sound effects.

I don’t know about you, but when I go to read a story, I want to SEE what I'm reading like a movie, not listen to a radio show.

Memorize this:

Readers always interpret what they read the way they want to see it -- unless you SHOW them what you envisioned.

In other words…
What CAN be misunderstood -- WILL be misunderstood.

Leave Nothing to Misinterpretation.
-- Readers will ALWAYS make whatever assumptions come to mind about what they are reading. When a reader realizes that what they thought was going on -- wasn't, they'll get confused, and occasionally pissed off.

Unmarked blocks of dialogue are painfully EASY to get lost in.

I remember reading one whole page of un-tagged action-less dialogue only to find out that I had two of the characters reversed. Did I reread that whole page to figure out what was going on? Hell no! I tossed the book across the room. (In fact, it's still on the floor gathering dust bunnies.)

"But, isn't that's what 'said' and other dialogue tags are for?"

Just for the record...
-- Using dialogue tags is Not against the rules. Dialogue tags are a perfectly viable way to identify who is speaking -- it just makes that part of the story BORING. (I don't know about you, but I won't read something that bores me.)

I choose to write my dialogue without using "said" unless I am actually describing a change in voice, tone, or volume in the same paragraph. And even then, I try to avoid them. I use the speaker's actions to define who is speaking to whom.

I use ACTION TAGS.

"What the heck is an Action Tag?"
BODY LANGUAGE

Language is Visual not just a bunch of words. Watch the average conversation between two people. 90% of that conversation isn't in what's spoken, it's in what they are DOING as they are speaking. It's in their Body Language. Body-language cues the reader as to what is going on in a character’s head – in ADDITION to dialogue and internal narrative.

Action and body-language tags on dialogue are Not just for decoration.
-- Stories are Mental Movies you play in your imagination. I don't know about you, but I HATE to be interrupted when I'm involved in a good movie. If I have to stop and reread a section just to figure out what the heck is going on, I've been interrupted. One too many interruptions and I'm switching to another story -- with no intention of continuing with something that's just too much work to get through.

Action tags keep the mental Movie rolling and the MEANING of what is being said crystal clear. A small simple action can tell you right away, what's going through the speaker's head.

Don't just SAY it! ~ SHOW IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I love you too.” She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “Oh yes, I truly do love you.”
“I love you too.” She dropped her chin and pouted. “Oh yes, I truly do love you.”
“I love you too.” She glared straight at him. “Oh yes, I truly do love you.”
“I love you too.” She turned away and wiped the tear from her cheek. “Oh yes, I truly do love you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY I loathe the word "said".
- To be perfectly clear, it's not JUST the word 'said', I hate ALL Dialogue Tags inclusively. I utterly refuse to use them.

Why?
- Because they're wasteful. They clutter up dialogue while slowing down actions, and they use up word-count that could be far better used elsewhere.

I don't believe in putting anything in my fiction that isn't useful. If it doesn't add to the character or the plot, it gets eradicated. Dialogue tags are too easily replaced by something that actually adds to the story, such as an action, a facial expression, a spot of description, or a character’s opinions.

Just for the record, I write extremely dialogue-heavy fiction. When I find that a dialogue tag is indeed needed in my story to identify who is talking, I see it as a red flag that indicates that all action has come to a screeching halt. Nothing is Happening other than talking; also known as: Talking Heads Syndrome.

When that happens, I find some way to fill that space with something useful to the story such as an action, a facial expression, a spot of description, or a character’s opinions -- ANYTHING other than a dialogue tag.

But those are MY feelings on the subject.
-- Your mileage may vary.

Dialogue tags ARE a legitimate form of sentence structure. When there is no other way to identify a speaker, dialogue tags are indeed a viable option.

What about Punctuation for Dialogue?
- Go here: Punctuating Dialogue Read that.

Paragraph Aesthetics

-----Original Message-----
"I suppose the issue I have is with the aesthetics of paragraphing. Though text is not comparable to a visual medium such as film, it is still something that we have to view with our eyes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually, text aesthetics -- the way the words appear on the page -- seems to be a HUGE bone of contention.

-----Original Message-----
"...The way I see it, your example suggests that I break my text up into a lot of little paragraphs. Given this understanding, in a scene rich with alternating action, it looks like I'll be left with a lot of one-line paragraphs. ...I'd greatly appreciate it if you clarified this situation. I suppose that is the trouble with having to jot down the basics, you can't expand on the little details of the rule. ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paragraph Aesthetics - Illustrated
-- The way a story appears on a standard 9.5 x 11 inch piece of paper is NOT the way to judge whether or not one's paragraphs are too long or too short. A story viewed on a browser page carries even less weight.

Why not?
-- Because Fiction is generally printed on pages HALF the size of a full sheet of paper. What appears to be a lot of short little paragraphs on the "internet page," are NOT so short or so little once you put them on the Printed page.

The standard sizes for printed Fiction are: paperback (4.25 x 6.75 inches), and trade paperback (5.5 x 8.25 inches.) Hard-cover books use the same size page as a Trade. Only coffee-table books possess printed pages anywhere near the size of a standard sheet of paper.

Visual Aids:
ALL examples are: 12 pt. Times New Roman font with somewhat 1 inch margins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Standard Paperback 6.75 x 4.25
Trade paperback 5.5 x 8.25
Standard paper 9.5" x 11"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personally, I could care less what my text looks like on the page. As far as I'm concerned, making the story as clear and easy to read as possible is far more important to me than what the text looks like. If I have done my job well, no one will even notice the words - only the story unfolding in their imaginations.

As for internet reading, I'm completely baffled why anyone would care how it looks on the browser page. All you have to do is narrow the window and the text adjusts.

-----Original Message-----
"Also, I hope you don't mind, but did you come up with the rules yourself, through experience and trial and error, publisher's advice, or is there a handy guide I can employ? Obviously, I quite loyally follow Strunk and White, but I don't think it talks about this subject much. Is there a book that YOU use?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's start here:
"...did you come up with the rules yourself, through experience and trial and error, publisher's advice...?"

YES - to all of the above, plus editor hounding and long chats with a number of extremely well-established fiction authors. In addition, I've read a crap-load of how-to books. I'm pretty sure I own, and have practically memorized, just about every book "Writer's Digest" has put out.

My writing advice posts are the results of taking all the info I'd crammed into my head and condensing it into small bite-sized, chewable, pieces that are easy to remember and much easier to apply. Rather than waste people's time on theory, I focus on application.

As for recommended reads...
-- Unfortunately, there is no one guide that shows it all. Not One. However, there are two books I can't praise highly enough. As far as I'm concerned, they are VITAL reading for fiction writing.

SCENE & STRUCTURE by Jack. M. Bickham
THE WRITER'S JOURNEY by Christopher Vogler
-- (Google is your friend.)

There are lots of other books I could recommend, but these are the two "Must Haves" if an author really, REALLY wants to write fiction well.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

2 Mar 2011

Quote by nicola
Great advice.

I'm glad you like it! I have more... Mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!

2 Mar 2011

Quote by LadyX
Thank you. I'm aware of all that; I'd just like to think we're all pretty supportive of each other here, as opposed to overtly competing against each other.

This site's writers are Very supportive of each other. However that doesn't change the fact that every last one of us authors want our stories read --and Liked-- by the readers, and Readers only read what they Like. That's merely a fact of life.

Quote by LadyX
After all, there's plenty of reading opportunity to go around, individuals' schedules permitting.

That doesn't change the fact that people only read what they Want to read. If a story has gross errors in it or is of a style, or topic, a reader is uncomfortable with, you can guarantee that they're putting that story down in favor of something that suits them better.

Quote by LadyX
I realize that for some people, there's a wish to 'win' in damn near anything they do, but in what I assume is a generous spirit of all your advice here, I'd like to think we'd all want to learn from each other more so than wanting to defeat another writer.

If everyone writes at least close to the same skill level, (decent sentence structure, good plotting, realistic characterization, effective description...) then the only deciding factor between one story and the next will be Genre preference and writing style. That is what I am after.

1 Mar 2011

Quote by sprite
marry me? no, seriously, for this post alone, i think you just stole my heart, Ms Hawke. ;)

I'm pretty sure I'm too old for you darlin', but thank you for the offer!

Quote by sprite
ok, funny thing is, this is another issue of mine, really, not so much that i don't know how to finish, but i tend not to know what's going to happen at the end, UNTIL i get there.

You're not alone. It's a really, really common problem.

Quote by sprite
1)Resolution of the issues is important. It's fun to leave some minor things unresolved, but yes, just petering out with the story, be it smut or not, unless you're into very experimental writing AND willing to piss your readers off, is a must.

Yep.

Quote by sprite
2) Twists. Keep it interesting, this is a great point. Recently while perusing my local book store, i kept picking up and putting down books, simply because they looked predictable - i don't want to know by chapter 3 how it's going to resolve - oh, i might want to have a good feel for how i WANT it to resolve, but yeah, if it's telegraphed to me by then, i loses a lot of it's oomph. now, that doesn't mean that it messes up a story if i know that Prince Armand and Princess Danielle are going to live happily ever after, but i'd like to be surprised, and in suspense, about how they are going to manage it and certainly, all the subplots within should be full of twists and turns.

Exactly.

Quote by sprite
3) Deus Ex Machina! the hand of God - this is when the writer gets himself into a corner and the only way he can think of resolving it is to just have some supreme power intervene, or the like. case in point - Prince Armand is eaten by the giant slug - there goes the happy ending EXCEPT suddenly, Princess Daniele discovers her perfume bottle contained a Djinn, she accidentally sets it free and, in return, it brings him back to life... yeah, it's a good way to make your reader roll their eyes and mutter 'whatever'. if you have to fix your story by tossing in ultra powerful being or extremely unlikely co-incidences, you have issues - rethink, rewrite, re-imagine.

I didn't forget it, sweety. Deus Ex Machina has it's own Essay. ~grin

1 Mar 2011

Quote by LadyX
...It means less competition for me.
How is it a competition, really?

Readers do not read a story simply because it's posted. They look through the list and CHOOSE the story they want to read by title, genre, and excerpt. That's where competition comes in. Every story posted is in Competition with the next one to catch the Reader's eye and keep their attention long enough to Finish it. Hopefully, they'll even like it.

> An interesting title will catch the eye and imagination faster than a boring one.
> An excerpt with full of spelling errors will always be passed over in favor of an exciting story hook.

Even during reading, a Reader can suddenly change their mind and drop a story unfinished to go find a better one. I certainly am Not going to waste my time reading a story full of spelling errors, head-hopping, poor research, or one that bores me with clichéd characters and situations.

Quote by LadyX
Generally though, it looks like good advice to me.

I should hope so. I worked hard on it. smile

smile

Quote by LadyX
When writing stories ... one of the major worries was always how to make an ending that did justice to everything prior.

That's something ALL writers struggle with. Hopefully, my essay will prove helpful to someone looking for a way to solve their story issues.

1 Mar 2011

Quote by DirtyMartini
I usually just stop when I get tired...then I add the sentence "And they all lived happily ever after..." That seems to work well for me...no problem with that, right???

I certainly don't have any problems with stories that end like that.
-- It means less competition for me. smile

smile

So, go ahead and write all the stories you like that way! I assure you, I'll be glad to see every single one you post. ~evil grin

1 Mar 2011

Quote by nicola
Thanks for posting Morgan. Your series have been most educational and informative.

My pleasure!
-- There are way too many writing 'how-to' articles out there --including whole books-- that don't actually show you 'How-To'. I've made it my personal mission to fix that.

26 Feb 2011

Quote by clonjon
all of my stories have been written from the guys point of view and i have a story idea which i think will be better written from the female point of view. what are your ideas on writing from the opposite sex's point of view?

I write from both gender's POV, but I did a lot of research first.
-- One of the best books out there on just how differently men and women Think is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. I have it in hardback.

Other resources:
"Straight Talk to Men and Their Wives" - James Dobson
"Men, Women and Sex" - Margaret Paul, Ph.D
"Yes, Biologically Speaking, Sex Does Matter" - Karen Young Kreeger
"Gender Differences Are Real" - Frank York

26 Feb 2011

NO.
-- I have no interest in letting some unknown troll knock my ranking simply because they Can.

26 Feb 2011

HOW do you make
THE End?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When will you make an end?"
- The Pope on the painting of the Sistine Chapel

"When I'm finished."
- Michelangelo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so you got this GREAT Idea for a story!
- This Great Idea...that births chapter after chapter...
- This Great Idea... that you can't seem to finish. (WTF?!)

Crap.

So what do you do now?

HOW do you make an End?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fairy tales and Myths were my foundational reading, so they became my base model for how a story should finish -- by ending where you began with a solution.

This doesn't mean ending a story in the location it started, or that full irrevocable transformations don't happen, but that the story ties the knot to the Emotional or Karmic place they began. ...The lost find their way, the wicked are punished, the weak become strong, monsters are faced, emotional hang-ups are dealt with, and problems are solved. What is begun - finishes.

However...
-- Stories aren’t just about characters Doing stuff, it’s about character’s Dealing with stuff and Figuring out stuff about themselves. The really good stories, the ones that grab us and stay in our memories the longest, all illustrate normal people problems and issues, and the SOLUTIONS they come across.

No matter how fantastic the setting or characters are, stories are still about people being people dealing with people stuff. It isn’t what they Do, it’s How they did it, and what they discovered about themselves on the way.

It sounds perfectly simple, and it can be, however I despise stories I can guess the ending to, so naturally, I refuse to write them that way. (Insert evil snicker.) I prefer to make my stories a bit more unpredictable.

How? Subterfuge.

The Wrong direction is the Right direction!

I prefer to write stories that throw the reader completely off the obvious path, straight through the center of the village, and force them into the deep dark woods. I deliberately make every straightforward solution unbelievably problematic!

• The obvious answer is the wrong answer.
• The simple solution is impossible to accomplish.
• What seems to be a easy task has impossible if not fatal complications.

Once the reader has been sent careening off into territory they never expected to go, and gotten utterly wrapped up in a plot they never expected - that's when I start tying up ends by way of pulling rugs out from under the reader's feet.

Characters reveal motives that change how their base characters are perceived.

• The obvious bad-guy isn't the bad guy, he's AFTER the bad-guy. However, he's completely ruthless in his hunt, which is what made him seem like the bad-guy in the first place.
• The bumbling fool that merely wants to help improve his fellow man, is in fact completely deranged sociopath that likes to do his improvements with a scalpel.
• The person the main character is trying to rescue, not only doesn't want to be rescued, but in fact resents the intrusion.

Random events and objects are revealed to have unexpected connections.

• The gun on the mantelpiece wasn't merely a decoration.
• The strange recluse neighbor turns out to be the one person who actually knows what's really going on.

What was accepted as fact is revealed to be something else entirely.

• "We're all living in a computer generated dream-world."

And in the process of dealing with all that...
• Monsters are faced.
• Emotional hang-ups are dealt with.
• Problems end up solved.
• What was begun - finishes.
The END

"HOW do I fix the problem I have right now?"

"...Too many good books, book series, anime, etc. suffer from Bad Endings."
-- A Frustrated Reader

THE #1 Most Common Problem:
“The story is already halfway written and I have no idea where to go from there!"

This most frequently happens when:
-- A) The author didn't know how they wanted to end the story before they started writing. They just wrote ... until they couldn't write any more. (AKA: Writing by the seat of their pants.)

-- B) They planned the end, but painted themselves into a corner by tossing in a major (head/heart/sex) problem they didn't know how to fix before they could get to the end. (AKA: Bit off more than they could swallow.)

FIXING the Problem

1) Written by the Seat of your Pants
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- When you've written something by the seat of your pants, the only way to fix it is by stopping cold and figuring out where you want it to end - then adjusting the whole story to suit your ending. This means extensive rewrites.

This also means making a decision.

What's more important to you as an author?
A) The hours you spent writing all those words that got you nowhere?
- OR -
B) Making a story your readers will swoon over?

2) Bit off more than you can Swallow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- I've noticed that this shows up most frequently when you have an ANGST plot. Oddly, it also shows up when someone wants to write a smut scene, but never had sex before.

Fixing Smut
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- This is actually really easy. READ smut stories. (Porn movies give you the visuals but not what it FEELS like.) Just, for God's sake, don't copy someone's smut scenes word for word - that's plagiarism. Paraphrase instead -- that's perfectly legal.

Het smut - I recommend reading books by author Angela Knight for excellent graphic detailing without making you wanna hurl.

M/M smut - go here: Minotaurs Sex Tips for Slash Writers Read that.

Fixing Angst
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- This one's tough. If you're trying to fix a serious problem like Grief over lost loved ones begin by Googling 'stages of grief', so you know what your character is supposed to be going through, and follow the advice given for getting over it. If you're trying to fix a heart-ache like a break-up between lovers, the stages of grief still works.

If you're trying to get them back together again, then you have a real problem.

-- Here in the West, getting back together rarely ever happens in real life because it's just easier to end the relationship completely and not deal with it anymore.

-- In the East, it's another story entirely. People do get back together because they are taught from childhood that Family and Personal Honor is far more important than one’s personal feelings.
• Enemies WILL put their personal vendetta on hold until a common enemy is vanquished.
• Wives WILL go back to their husbands for the sake of keeping the rest of the family safe from harm; giving those husbands a chance to make their wives fall in love with them again.

In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- When you've come up with the most diabolical problem known to man (or beast) the only way to fix it is by finding out how REAL People fixed it and applying that to your characters. Ahem, RESEARCH. (Hint: Google.com is your friend.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

26 Feb 2011

Quote by mia_erotica
Love the disclaimer.

Thank you!
-- It became necessary when one too many 'creative' writers started screaming that "there are no rules for Arte!"

My response was, "Well, there ARE for publication." I was then accused of being arrogant and snotty. And so, my Disclaimer was born.

21 Feb 2011

[CENTER][B]Essentials of a Short Story[/B]
[I]Quotes from a critique of Nathanial Hawthorn’s [B]Twice Told Tales[/B] by[/I]
[B]Edgar Allen Poe - 1837[/B]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/CENTER]
Edgar Allen Poe, celebrated as one of the finest short fiction writers of all time, was also a literary critic. These are bits of his wisdom on writing short stories gleaned from one of his critiques.

[I]“The true critic will but demand that that the (story’s) design intended be accomplished, to the fullest extent, by the means most advantageously applicable…"[/I] -- Poe

[CENTER][B]Poe’s Prerequisites -- in a Nutshell:
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[I]To deliver fullest satisfaction, a short story should be structured:[/I][/B]

1) To be read in one sitting.
2) Using a deliberate number of characters and incidents.
3) With words restrained in style and tone.
4) All done that should be done with nothing done which should not be.[/CENTER]

[CENTER][B]Poe’s Prerequisites -- in DETAIL
[I]A short story should be structured:[/I]

1) To be read in one sitting.[/B][/CENTER]
[I]“Were we bidden to say how the highest genius (of the short story) could be most advantageously employed for the best display of (the short story’s) own powers, we should answer, without hesitation- in the composition of a rhymed poem, not to exceed in length what might be perused in an hour.”[/I] – Poe

[I]Translation:[/I]
-- How much can YOU read in an hour or two? THAT’S how long a short story should be.

According to most publishers, this means no more than 15k, (15,000 words) or 60 NY publishing formatted pages. (60 pages at 12 point courier font, on an 8.5” by 11” page with 1” margins, are counted as 250 words per page, regardless of actual word count.)

20k, or 80 NY publishing formatted pages, is considered a Novella. Magazine publishers tend to look for 5k stories, (5,000 words) or 20 NY publishing formatted pages.
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[B][CENTER]2) Using a deliberate number of characters and incidents.[/CENTER][/B]
“[I]A skillful literary artist has constructed a tale. If wise, he has not fashioned his thoughts to accommodate his incidents; but having conceived, with deliberate care, a certain unique or single effect to be wrought out, he then invents such incidents- he then combines such events as may best aid him in establishing this preconceived effect. If his very initial sentence tends not to the out-bringing of this effect, then he has failed in his first step.[/I]” – Poe

[I]Translation:[/I]
-- Plot with a Purpose in mind, a Premise, and write your story to carry out that purpose, and only that purpose.

If you’re writing a novel you can add other ‘purposes’, but when you’re writing a short story you don’t have the room for more than one.

[I][B]“What do you mean by…purpose?” [/B][/I]
-- Very simply…

[B]What are you SAYING with your story? What are you trying to Show or Prove?[/B]
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• The reality of Love? – Romeo & Juliet
• The pain of Jealousy? – Othello
• The results of Revenge? – Hamlet
• The path of Ambition? - Julius Caesar

Plotting is essential in all forms of fiction for cohesion. Plotting ensures that your story has all the important bits that make a story, a STORY, such as: a beginning, a middle, and an end. It keeps you from missing something vital – or putting something in that does not belong.

[B][I]Side-tracked by a really cool subplot? [/I][/B]
-- Does it fit with the theme of what you are trying to accomplish?

• If it [I]does[/I] – GREAT! Is there enough room for it? (What kind of word-count limit are you dealing with?)
• If it [I]doesn’t[/I] – GREAT! You have the makings of a whole new story! (Chop it out and make a whole new document file just for it.)

However, Plotting does NOT have to be a chapter by chapter outline; it can be a short list of just the important bits:

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[B]A Plot Arc for an Erotic story [/B]
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[I]Introduction[/I]
Early trouble, revealing the character's talents and setting.
-- Boy meets Girl, Adversary meets Proponent…

[I]Rising Action[/I]
Increasing tension - crisis after crisis
-- One succeeds in seducing the other.

[I]Climax / Reversal[/I]
Point of highest tension & the story's turning point.
-- Something happens that separates the two lovers, such as misunderstandings, rivals, bad-guys in general…

[I]Falling Action[/I]
All plot threads unravel leaving only one solution.
-- Motives & all other angsty secrets are uncovered, revealing the REAL problem.

[I]Confrontation[/I]
Final choice, ending in hope or ruin
-- Confessions, fights, forced seductions, and begging for forgiveness…

[I]Denouement[/I]
Resolution
-- Happily ever after…?
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[CENTER][B]3) Using words restrained in style and tone.[/B][/CENTER]
[I]“The author who aims at the purely beautiful in a prose tale is laboring at great disadvantage. For Beauty can be better treated in the poem. Not so with terror, or passion, or horror, or a multitude of such other points.”[/I] – Poe

[I]Translation:[/I]
-- Hunks of sweeping, emotionally blissed-out, text is generally SKIPPED in favor of: “What happens next?” The only place for fancy words is in Description.

Why? Because in this day and age, the average book-store browsing Reader (or the fan-fiction reader,) does not have the patience to read fancy prose.

Think I'm kidding? In this very article, how many of you have been skipping over Poe's literary-heavy quotes to get to the Translations? ([I]Rhetorical Question! You are not expected to answer![/I])

Seriously, no matter what genre you write, the average Buying Reader reads with a TV-Watcher's attention span (about the same as a 12-year old). Unlike Poe’s readers, ALL of your readers grew up watching TV. Because of this, they’re used to their stories being action packed, directly to the point, and SHORT.

How short?
-- How long is a TV program? Sit-coms are half an hour. Actual programs are an hour - two at the most. How much can YOU read in that amount of time? That’s how short. Your story has to fit into a TV-program slot -- and compete with the next program they plan to watch.

As a rule, only the college-heavy teacher-types read literary prose for pleasure. Everybody else (the BUYING public) reads pulp fiction.

[B]DESCRIPTION is a MUST in Modern Fiction! [/B]
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-- Our modern-day, TV-addict readers are trained (by their TV-watching,) to be VISUALLY stimulated. These readers PICTURE their stories as they read them, and expect enough description to be able to make those mind-pictures crystal clear – AND emotionally visceral.

They not only want to SEE it, they want to FEEL it too -- but they don't have much of an attention span, so every word must count!

Description should be trimmed down to:
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• Distinct nouns rather than vague nouns - Toyota instead of car.
• 1 Adjective per Distinct Noun – The red Toyota
• 2 Adjectives per Sensation – smell, taste, texture, sound, view – “I stared with horror at the dilapidated, red Toyota.”
• 2 Adjectives per Emotion – anger, lust, love, joy, misery – “The bitter ache in my weary heart…”
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[B][CENTER]4) All done that should be done with nothing done which should not be.[/CENTER][/B]
“[I]In the whole composition there should be no word written, of which the tendency, direct or indirect, is not to the one pre-established design. And by such means, with such care and skill, a picture is at length painted which leaves in the mind of him who contemplates it with a kindred art, a sense of the fullest satisfaction[/I].” –Poe

[I]Translation:[/I]
-- Make every character, object, event…, do double duty. Don’t just throw something in the story for decoration like a sex scene, or a piano in the living room. Make that piano, or that sex scene IMPORTANT to the story. Make something happen because they had sex. Make something happen because they played the piano.

This is more commonly known as:

[B]The “Gun on the Mantelpiece” rule of Fiction: [/B]
-- “If a gun is shown on the mantelpiece in Chapter One, it better go off by Chapter Three – and there had better be a damned good reason for that gun to go off.”

[I]Applied to Erotica: [/I]
-- “If a Kiss is shown in the living room in Chapter One, Sex better happen by Chapter Three – and there had better be a damned good reason for that Sex to happen.”

[I]Applied to Sci-Fi:[/I]
-- “If a mysterious artifact is shown in the living room in Chapter One, the mysterious artifact had better cause chaos by Chapter Three – and there had better be a damned good reason for that chaos to happen.”

The trick to knowing what to include in any story, is whether or not you intend to actively USE it. If the character trait or object does not matter to the plot – skip it. If it doesn’t Actively MOVE the Plot, (even a teeny bit,) you don’t need to include it.

The shorter the story the LESS room you have to work with, so the only details that you need are what actually changes the plot -- even character details. If that detail has no bearing on the plot, you don’t need it.
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[B][I]In Conclusion…[/I][/B]

[B]Poe’s Prerequisites – Translated[/B]

[I][B]-- A short story should be Plotted: [/B][/I]
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1) Between 5,000 words, and 15,000.
2) With a Beginning, Middle, End, and a Point in mind.
3) For a TV-watcher’s visually oriented (12-year old) attention span.
4) Using only what is needed to make your point, and complete the story.

Read the entire critique, by Edgar Allen Poe:
http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/poe/works/criticis/twice_to.html

Enjoy!

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[B]DISCLAIMER: [/B][I]As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.[/I]

20 Feb 2011

Quote by nicola
More great advice, thanks for posting Morgan.

My pleasure!

19 Feb 2011

Quote by Mistress_of_words
The very nature of telling puts you one step back from the action, with the narrator, or the author, acting as a buffer. It's a choice of style that needs to be based on the story and the characters.

Agreed!

18 Feb 2011

Quote by KILLIANRUSSELL
The ability to 'show' not 'tell' is indubitably the dividing line between writing and good writing ....Regardless of genre an author's ability to 'show ' is the seductive force that compels reader to continue

Not necessarily.
-- I've actually read a few absolutely brilliant stories that were almost entirely Told.

The dividing line between writing and good writing lies with Experience, not Technique. An experienced author can use Any technique --including pure Telling-- and make it Good.