I never expected to be a barfly, but it turned out to be a pretty good life choice. Six-year-old Sarah expected to be a Disney princess. Hell, I looked like one; Snow White, to be specific: black hair, pale complexion, rosy cheeks, ruby lips. My eyes are green, but outside of that? We could have been twins. Unfortunately, my prince turned out to be moonlighting in a whole library of other women's stories. So there I was,...

We didn’t hang out. He didn’t call. I didn’t text. I’d say that I didn’t wait by the phone, but it's the 21st century; it stayed glued to my hand as I doomscrolled Twitter and compared myself to people on Instagram. Was I putting myself in a good place mentally? No. Was I going to do something about that? Also no. In the spirit of making bad choices while being emotional, I decided to go to Roy’s. Not to get laid. Just to...