What am I doing?
I’ve been so busy trying to save the on thing I love most in this world that I’m destroying everything good in my life.
Driving away friends and family, making those that loved and cared about me hate me.
Why am I still holding on?
I sit here alone for hours, days waiting and nothing changes.
I trick myself into believing I’m fine and even fool myself into smiling when all a really want to do is scream and just die.
I’m already dead on the inside and only one thing can change that.
The distractions don’t work, the whole world has the volume turned down. everything is dead, the sun has no warmth, the rain does not cool. the wind has no sent of life on it. everything is stale and lifeless.
Everything around me has no meaning and yet I'm doomed to live on. I cant bring myself to end it all and yet I cant bare to go on.
Doomed to a circle of suffering I wish I could die but don't.
I wish it so much to happen.
I wont do it myself but i wont try to stop it. As hard as I try it just wont. walking in busy traffic, doing the most dangerous options yet still I am stuck here.
Why cant I just die and be done with this life.
Rookie Scribe