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Pelwrath
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 66
0 miles · Spencerport
Forum
Advanced Wordsmith
I like writing, not so good about spelling and such but I work at it. I like knowing that a story of mine can make a person smile, remember a old friend, be happy if they're down. Erotica is new for me. I se the movie of my story during my writing. I read the same way.
Advanced Wordsmith
My Lovers Touch
She’s a guardian angel
who freed my conscience.
What cursed thread
bound you to my life?
We meet at the bistro,
to witnessing dawn’s light.
My mind feels our hands caress
over coffee shared.
We stroll along the canal
greeting friends and ghosts alike.
My hands at my side
our shadow’s arms entwine.
Your smile’s a baited trap
your laugh a prison.
We discuss our life and the future.
Why never our future life?
Did you care of the choice you had?
I sought another, to sooth my pain.
You latched on to one for gain.
Our nest’s to expand, I find life is very sad.
She, in her flowing black dress
knows my depths.
I shiver,
our parting nears.
“Fear not lover,
We’ll meet again on the morrow.”
Her voices dark whispers,
so sweet.
They say you fear light’s flight.
But I know it’s the darkness of my soul.
She’s a guardian angel
who freed my conscience.
What cursed thread
bound you to my life?
We meet at the bistro,
to witnessing dawn’s light.
My mind feels our hands caress
over coffee shared.
We stroll along the canal
greeting friends and ghosts alike.
My hands at my side
our shadow’s arms entwine.
Your smile’s a baited trap
your laugh a prison.
We discuss our life and the future.
Why never our future life?
Did you care of the choice you had?
I sought another, to sooth my pain.
You latched on to one for gain.
Our nest’s to expand, I find life is very sad.
She, in her flowing black dress
knows my depths.
I shiver,
our parting nears.
“Fear not lover,
We’ll meet again on the morrow.”
Her voices dark whispers,
so sweet.
They say you fear light’s flight.
But I know it’s the darkness of my soul.
Advanced Wordsmith
Switching POV’s can be seperated by paragraphs or a noticeable scene change. Be careful using italics as in many cases that indicates thoughts, which is how I use italics. Once you’ve esrablished who is speaking (for two charaters) you can drop the dialogue tags.
Advanced Wordsmith
Nicola suggested I ask in the forums and this seems to be the place. I’m new to writing erotica and have the first part, a novella in 4 chapters. I don’t know it it’s any good. What parts are good or bad and if my writing just might need improvement. I have the next novella and a start on a third. Is it possible for me to get any feedback for my story? Pointers, do’s and don’t’s. I use a lot of dialogue.
I’m looking to improve and I’l throw out what I need to but I hope it’s not that bad.
I’m looking to improve and I’l throw out what I need to but I hope it’s not that bad.
Advanced Wordsmith
The Nut Lady
Pigeons gathered at the feeding station,
the sun just now slipping over the trees.
A pair of doves, an unusual pear color,
were at the fore of the crowd,
waiting for the nut lady’s food.
“What makes them taste so good?” they asked.
“It’s the way she removes the hard coating”
“No, it must be the trees they fall from.”
“It might be bait, so listen for our enemies bate.”
They parted when a stranger walked through them.
None approached the nun who sat at the station.
“Who’s she? Doesn’t look like our feeder?”
She lady wiped her eyes before saying,
“This morning, my sisters spirit flew to heaven,
she died of the flu. Would you experts in cooing,
sing your mourning song to help her along?”
The pale sunlight sparkled on the pail she put down.
“Here is your food, the way my sister made them;
deep fried in grease, imported from Greece.
Bon appetit from The Nut Lady.”
Pigeons gathered at the feeding station,
the sun just now slipping over the trees.
A pair of doves, an unusual pear color,
were at the fore of the crowd,
waiting for the nut lady’s food.
“What makes them taste so good?” they asked.
“It’s the way she removes the hard coating”
“No, it must be the trees they fall from.”
“It might be bait, so listen for our enemies bate.”
They parted when a stranger walked through them.
None approached the nun who sat at the station.
“Who’s she? Doesn’t look like our feeder?”
She lady wiped her eyes before saying,
“This morning, my sisters spirit flew to heaven,
she died of the flu. Would you experts in cooing,
sing your mourning song to help her along?”
The pale sunlight sparkled on the pail she put down.
“Here is your food, the way my sister made them;
deep fried in grease, imported from Greece.
Bon appetit from The Nut Lady.”
Advanced Wordsmith
Terrance of Gor
Brexel's contest was here
marksmen one and all could enter.
Silver purse, bow of yew
if theirs were the last at center
Earl of Flynn, Bill of Tell
Alec Lightwood, Clint of Barton
Terrance was a known fop
he was anything but spartan.
Terrance, with locks of red
A bow in hand and one at hip
a third worn on his neck.
To the frau from last night, he bowed.
The crowd they cheered for all.
Panache galore this Gorean had
they all pined for his sign.
Style and a smile, he was that bad.
The final round was here
Earl and Alec both hit center
Terrance aimed with closed eyes
No concerns, about the others.
His flights were on target
those arrows in half his did split
the sun was soon to set
the judges a tie they'd admit
Terrance gave a last test
an apple on heads to be split
they thought and consented
to this final they would permit
Alec halved core and worm
Earl left only juice on their head
Terrance in an eye was hit
Take care on the frau in your bed.
Brexel's contest was here
marksmen one and all could enter.
Silver purse, bow of yew
if theirs were the last at center
Earl of Flynn, Bill of Tell
Alec Lightwood, Clint of Barton
Terrance was a known fop
he was anything but spartan.
Terrance, with locks of red
A bow in hand and one at hip
a third worn on his neck.
To the frau from last night, he bowed.
The crowd they cheered for all.
Panache galore this Gorean had
they all pined for his sign.
Style and a smile, he was that bad.
The final round was here
Earl and Alec both hit center
Terrance aimed with closed eyes
No concerns, about the others.
His flights were on target
those arrows in half his did split
the sun was soon to set
the judges a tie they'd admit
Terrance gave a last test
an apple on heads to be split
they thought and consented
to this final they would permit
Alec halved core and worm
Earl left only juice on their head
Terrance in an eye was hit
Take care on the frau in your bed.
Advanced Wordsmith
I'll post my poems here, feel free to offer any thoughts or comments you may have.
Between the Covers
You penny dreadful thing,
a five and dime dame.
Whispering in my ear,
you still love to wear my ring.
Wise trollop queen,
you still know how many licks
to make your king's heart sing.
Between the Covers
You penny dreadful thing,
a five and dime dame.
Whispering in my ear,
you still love to wear my ring.
Wise trollop queen,
you still know how many licks
to make your king's heart sing.
Advanced Wordsmith
Joined a week ago and just found this thread. New, very new to writing erotica. All based on two sex scenes in a book I'm finishing. She said those are pretty good for a newbie, you should write some. So I set out. Now, 2.5 books in draft and 75k words, I've no idea what I have. So I'm looking to improve, learn and discover. I've submitted the opening of the first book and now just waiting for them to stop laughing (no insult to them at all).
Advanced Wordsmith
A girl I dated asked me about it while on a double date. I mentioned my concerns about it and what would the afe words be(we'd talked about it twice before privately) The other couple said that safe words are for pussy's, I asked her if she felt the same. After a few minutes she nodded. I left the date and went home.
Advanced Wordsmith
A related question. When does the plausibility vs. the fantasy come into play. Mark Twain said that the difference between fiction and reality is that fiction must be believable. I've written well am writing a series, erotoc romance and I'm trying to keep it believeable.
