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RumpleForeskin
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 79
0 miles · Phoenix
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Michelle, on behalf of the blind and hard-of-seeing here at Rumplations, let me praise you for that peerless transcript of your bar top boogie. My only complaint is your scorching prose fried the laptop I was using, but that's okay since I borrowed it from Carl. ;)

But in all semi-seriousness, think about submitting it to LUSH. IMO, the j'Flash' category would seem to be the perfect fit.

I'll drink to all that. Anybody else want a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, to all groaners and moaners who stumble in, check out the action or lack of the same, shrug in resignation and head for the bar.

It'a freezing in Phoenix, honest. The temp as manage to sink down to 32f (0 c). Since the temp is supposed to top out around 60f this afternoon, a lack of climatic sympathy is to be expected. Still, just for the record, it's a bit nippy out there.

There are about two weeks left before the deadline arrives for entries in the 'Debauched' writing contest. That note comes as a fine free service from the management and staff of Rumplation.

Morning to all who arrived earlier and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Jeff, here's your coffee. Just think of retirement as being on a day long coffee break. ;.
Y'all think coming up with a life-size inflatable Jane Lynch replica doll might prove a popular gift to give our grieving one? Just a thought.

Anybody out there want a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a big welcome to all the good Rumplators and a special 'Bring yourself on in and sit a spell' to all the bad ones. ;)

Have I mentioned yet that while my Saints did suffer a three-point loss yesterday verses the Eagles, on Saturday, my LSU Tigers, a 24-point underdog with a 0.6% chance of winning, upset #6 ranked Florida 37-34 in the Gators home field known as 'The Swamp'? If I have, feel free to ignore the previous sentence and party on. If I haven't, feel free to celebrate the great event by getting shit-faced drunk, buck nekkid and then debauching with the one you're with.

Time for another mug full of Big Bertha's best brew, and after a quick tip of the old sombrero to say thanks to Tonya for the setup, grab a few choice brownies and retire to the corner table to discuss with Coma and Tose how my Saints can upset Carl's Chiefs next weekend.

Anybody want, need, and/or crave a drink before we get started?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
We just lost another good one:

John le Carré, Born David John Moore Cornwell, author of such classic cold war era spy novels as:

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The Honourable Schoolboy
Smiley's People
A Perfect Spy
The Little Drummer Girl

...Passed away yesterday at age 89. RIP sad
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this glorious day! Don't worry, Rumplators, my mind hasn't lost its last marble, it's just that my woeful, 3-5 LSU Tigers traveled to Florida and whipped the #6 ranked Gators last night 37-34 thanks, in part, to a shoe, honest.

Daisy, welcome on board. Since you've just registered your first double-post, at least here, you can now be designated a 'regular'. Congrats or condolences as the case may be.

A multitude of thanks to Big Bertha and Tonya for, with the able assistance of Curvy and Carl, getting today's setup all, well, set up.

Think I'll grab a mug full of Big Bertha's bountiful brew and go sit out on the porch with Carl. So anybody wanna drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this monumentally unimportant post-TGIF day. At least a thousand blessings upon our Tonya for the set-up, especially those brownies and cookies. smile

Don't know about the rest of you, but I'm still a bit hungover from yesterday's swings of emotions between celebration and compassion. Me, I'm thinking this crowd done did good.

James, suspend your disbelief on this one but there is no such doohickey to recognize RRR stories. Part of the problem is a rare example of good taste by those handling the creation of such artifacts and then there's the lack of any known criteria for that most prestigious award. Guess you'll have to make do with that bottle of Irish booze.

To Gill and Emma and Grace and just damn near everyone else, hang in there. We love y'all and send out cyber HUGS, and positive vibes.

Now whadda ya literary low-lifes wanna drink?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, congratulations on your new story getting a Recommended Read (RR) from LUSH. Granted, it's a much lesser distinction than the coveted Rumplations Recommended Read (RRR) but it's still nice to have. ;)

I'll drink to that.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
This is your barkeep speaking - or typing as the case may be.

The story James just mentioned is, imo, a classic erotic love story. As such it is being awarded the rare and totally unprestigious 'Rumplations Recommended Read (RRR) award. All Rumplators are hereby directed to go read it, now, then come back and gush about it while thanking me with inappropriate hugs and kisses. ;)

Now I'm impatiently waiting for you to return and order us a drink.

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Ms Skald, she asked:
What's the bars position on girls with no undies on, with a swish-able velvet skirt, possibly twirling her undies in the air, dancing on the bar top?

Me, I opined: In that situation, the 'female superior' position would, no doubt, suit the occasion. ;)

I'll drink to that. Anybody else ready for a drink -- maybe that new, as yet unnamed one discussed above??
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and welcome back to the most degenerate dive in all of Lush Land. Which reminds me, do you think the least improper spelling would be 'Lush Land' or 'Lushland'? Other alternative are welcome but will probably be ignored.

James, how's it going on moving all the debris on the floor to anyplace else? May I suggest a coal scoop device or some similar variation be substituted for a mere broom? Your call.

At the moment we're suffering a rare shortage of brownies and doughnuts. However, a box of chocolate covered graham crackers are available. Thanks to Tonya and Big Bertha, doffee and tea are available to help wash down those dry, stick in your throat, chocolate covered graham crackers. SIf that doesn't help, you might want to consider the bar's extensive assortment of bad beers, woeful wines and the always popular fine lickers. So whadda ya dropouts from Writer's College wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Simply John! The man, the myth, the legend -- no, wait, wasn't that the last LUSH writing contest theme? Well, what about 'The mod who turned mission impossible into mission accomplished. ;) Your beer is on the house, at least until I add it to Curvy or Sprite's tab -- sorta a Rumplations version of double-entry bookkeeping. And what kind of decrepit honky-tonk would this have been to make patrons endure a Tuesday without salted peanuts. Here's the smallest bag left. Enjoy.

Come back ever so you can. The welcome mat would be out except some low-life swiped it.

And now to business.

Yes, I know it's way to damn early out here in the desert but my circadian rhythm is in its monthy near-FUBAR state So if I've gotta deal with the old 'Non-24 Hour Sleep Disorder, everybody can join in the suffering. No need to thank me. It's just of another fine free service of Rumplation Rx.

Anyway, Big Bertha has been de-sludged (saved it for Carl) rinsed out and filled with water Tawny said I was to use instead of the water from the dumpster hot tub. So anyway, that's the water for both Big Bertha and Mr T Kettle. Today's coffee comes from a back alley down near Esplanade in the French Quarter so it must be good.

The doughnuts, brownies, and cookies from yesterday are no longer with us so you'll have to make-do with fried pork skins, Slim Jims anything else that turns up under the bar.

Coffee's cooked and the water's hot in the tea kettle. Don't forget the bar's collection of bygone beers, wonderous wines and the always popular fine lickers.

So whadda you dwellers in the shallow end of the gene pool wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Curvy, rejoice and shout, or maybe just emit a sigh of relief, my LUSH 'old fashioned home page is, once again, back where it belongs. smile After wireworking the link you sent me, I gave up this morning and sent in a message explaining the situation and mentioning my failure had occured despite your help. Well just now, that 'old-time' home page has returned. SimplyJohn syas he clicked on the magic button to pull off the switch and I now officially thanks him almost as much as I do you. Here's your late afternoon beer. Enjoy.

I'm thinking of adopting the motto: Don't mess with the Right Rev's home page or risk incuring his curse. ;)

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
What we got here is coffee for Scotthop, Grace and Larry and for our inchoate personal assistant, hot chocolate. Hey, Fill, ya want some of Sarah's mini-marshmallows with that? Odds are she won't mind, at least not too much.

The Lyf-unit is, or to be precise, was among us. Odds are he'll be back since he left his only half-empty mug on the bar.

Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter, especially those who do so without the way-too-frequent scene of screaming and fighting to avoid that fate.

You are hereby commended to check out the late evening posts of Susie and Grace. Don't ask question, just do it. By the time you've finished and come back and thanked me, Big Bertha's coffee should be ready.

And speaking of that Countess of Caffeine, she's had her sludge set aside and her innards rinsed out prior to a load of dark roast coffee and some water brought in from the dumpster hot tub being added. With luck, she'll have it transformed into something on the taste spectrum between ambrosia and drinkable sooner or later.

And least we forget, the tea kettle also got a load of the dumpster hot tub water and has ready for use by our tea and coco fans.
Until the usual assortment of unusual life-forms who make up the morning crew shows up, snack-wise you'll have to get by with fried pork skins, bags of salted peanuts (in case the Vogones stop by),, and day old doughnuts. Don't forget the joint's lineup of beers, wines and fine lickers that can either be stand-alone treats or used to enhance your coffee drinking experience are available for a most nominal charge.

So whadda ya literary lounge lizards wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Evening greetings to all who have endured the unendurable that is Moanday. I've been popping in but things were so busy going so well I decided to spare y'all my presence. But then Sprite mentioned her brother's death by a damn drunk driver and I just had to slip in for a long HUG. In just over three weeks, 2020 will be an image from hell but fading in our rear view mirrors.

Me, I'm gonna drink to that. Curvy, here's your night-pint. So whadda the rest of y'all wanna drink? Free drinks for all newbies (remind me to put 'em on Carl's tab)

Later, Rumplators.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings from the chilly desert (39f). Rumplators are advised to take precautions such as turning up the central heating system, throwing a pine knot in the fireplace, cranking the electric blanket up to 10 or, best of all, stay in bed and snuggle with your honey.

It was a bleak day for the small but hardy collection of college football fans who regularly befoul this dump with their presence. Both Kansas colleges lost which must be a source of heartburn for Carl. Sarah's Va Tech Hokies fell to top ten ranked Clemson while my poor battered Bayou Bengals were beaten like the proverbial rented mule, at home, on national TV, by top ranked Alabama. Sure hope our pro football teams can salvage the weekend.

Big Bertha has been de-sludged (saved the stuff for Carl), cleaned, given a heaping helping of dark roast coffee and water that has had all the tadpoles and polywogs removed, probably. Of course the bar's lineup of beers beyond belief, winning wines and our ever-popular fine lickers are available for a most nominal fee.

So whadda ya slush pile scribes wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
How y'all are? What follows is an official, and no doubt officious, pimp. This one is for Annies first-rate, 'The Postulant's Tale' series. Think of it as "A Farewell to Arms" but set in the middle ages. Check it out. You can thank me later. ;)

Now who needs a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Emma, now about your husband trying his hand at a DIY haircut:

Could be worse, I suppose. For instance, he might be thinking about trying his hand at a DIY Hemorrhoidectomy. ;)

I'll drink to that. Anybody wanna join in?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
R.O.T.F.L etc. at Martin's post. If you haven't read it yet stop everything else and scroll up to check it out.

Michelle, Ping ordered some battery acid. You wanna give that a try?

James, loved the excerpt from your next story. I'm just pleased to be called a 'man' instead of the usual 'carbon-based lifeform.'

Now on to the regular business.

Greetings to all. The joint never really cleared out last night. Guess folks needed a clean, well lighted place to go but had to settle for this honky-tonk.. (sad) I'll say no more. ;)

Okay, Big Bertha has had her bottom settlement sludge cleaned out, then fill with dark roast coffee from down on da bayou along with some water from that same bayou. Meanwhile, the tea kettle is hotting up a batch of water for the tea and coco crowd. Don't forget about the bar's beers, wines, and fine lickers. I'll be reserving a bottle of 151 proof rum to use in a horrendous overdose of 'Gorilla Killahs' after Alabama finishes off my poor Bayou Bengals.

So whadda ya wanna drink?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
TGIF greetings and HUGS to all, especially the early arrivals such as Curvy and Big Bertha, Carl, Michelle, and Xander the disconsolate.

Here's your good news: In 47 days, Trump will no longer be President. Here's the bad news: For the next 47 days -- he's still in office.

A special tip of the old sombrero to Curvy for sending me a PM with a link to a back to the old-fashioned desktop PC home page version.

Always a goodness to have Nic (aka She Who Must be Obeyed) stop by. Y'all be suro what she asked (scroll up to her post for the link)

And now for a mug full of Big Bertha's blessed brew, a doughnut and brownie, and exit stage left to the corner table for an in-depth discussion of life and other foolishness with Coma and Tose.

So whadda ya denizens of the shallow end of the gene pool wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
That James L is a willing, if not particularly able Rumplator , this morning. ;)

BTW James, my 'puter has been cranky lately about cranking out replies to messages but I'd be downright tickled pink if you included a Rumple-like character in your next LUSH story. Sic 'em, Tiger.

Fresh drinks are on James the energetic.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter looking for the mistletoe but hang around even after discovering the bar is using poison ivy in recognition of the year we've endured.

Curvy wrote: Bill, I'm a bit confused too. Are you using the text only version of Lush? Or the new mobile responsive version (which still has a few glitches)? Or even the good old-fashioned desktop style?

Me, I babbled: To answer your concerned question, Ms C, I have no idea. Apparently I missed the memo about there being an all-text model though it might be a goodness for this blind guy. But I'm not only willing, but eager to get back to the old desktop version. Problem is I've spent a hefty portion of two days searching for some way of pulling that off -- heck, I've even checked out faq, help, and the site map with no joy.

Maybe I should enter the contest with a story about wishing for an old-fashioned screen and a stiff drink. ;)

Which reminds me, that Big Bertha has been relieved of her bottom settlement of prime sludge (set aside for Carl and any other 'power' coffee drinkers), and she's now full of dark roast coffee and spring water, just don't ask where I came across those bed springs. The tea kettle is ready to be of service and the hot nut dispenser has been refilled. Of course the bar's famous beers, wines and always popular fine lickers are available for a most nominal charge.

So whadda youse literary bottom feeders wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
I just love double-posts. They're ever so much fun to delete with extreme prejudice. ;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
This is an official call for technical help or maybe sympathy. Me, I ain't proud, just a tad frustrated.

My problem appears to be with the LUSH 'skin'. When I first crawled back abourd a few weeks ago with my new screen reader and Google, the old familiar main page popped up for a second or two only to be replaced by one with a different layout. While notoriously clueless, I'm also relatively adaptable and have been working around the changes for the most part. But some recent snags have been like the hair that broke the camel's back. For instance:

TAGS don't work when I click on one which figures since for the life of me I can't find a TAGS search button.

Same goes for the 'My Stories' button. About the only way I can get to either list of my stories is to find one of my posts, click on the handle, then fumble my way onto the profile page, get past the 'You are leaving Text only' warning then search for the story list and then try to recall why I wanted to be there in the first place. (sigh)

As I whined earlier, most of these can be worked around but, for me, that does not make for a life enhancing stay in the land of LUSH.

Any help, including suggestions on where to go for help, would be depreciated.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this, the first Hump Day in December.

Some contest entries have been posted and sound interesting. Check 'em out.

Over on the Sacre Bleu site (Stories Space) Gypsy has cranked up a challenge to come up with a bit of literary fan fiction. No movies, TV shows, etc. due to copyright concerns, just 'classic' non-copyrighted material. Check out the announcement on the 'Prompts and Challenges' forum of Stories Space for details.

Thanks and HUGS to Curvy and Big Bertha for today's setup. Michelle, please keep an eye on Xander during this time of no Lady Jane trauma for him.;)

So whadda ya bottom feeders in the slush pile of literary life wanna drink.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings fellow travelers on this, the spinning incubator of covid19 that is our spaceship Earth.

Martin, your story sounds like something out of an Alan Furst WW II era spy novel. Hang in there and enjoy your tea.

Big Bertha is now primped, primed and ready to put out, some outstanding coffee, that is. The tea kettle is also hot to trot -- well, at least its supply of water is. As for mugs, it's 'root hog or die' (translation: look hard) at least for now. However, there is a new shipment of fried pork skins available at a most reasonable charge. And don't forget the bars lineup of beers, wines and the always popular, fine lickers.

Now who the hell wants something or other to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter seeking personal fulfillment and don't think about leaving until their belly's are well and truly fulfilled.

Now about the new contest, me I'm having more trouble than usual coming up with a story that even vaguely follows the contest theme, I mean except for some 'been there, done that' variant of time-travel or an Aladdin's Lamp-type fairy tale. Oh, woe is I. ;)

My Saints will take on Denver while Carl's Chiefs go up against Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Bucs. Kickoff for both games will be in about an hour so odds are y'all will be spared our presence (consider it your present) until much later.

Now who needs a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, Rumplators. It is a truth, universally acknowledged throughout Lushland, that an Ill Gill is most definitely NOT a goodness. Take care of your sickly self, Ms Gill. Prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts not to mention good luck gestures such as both crossed fingers and eyes,will be coming your way.

I'll have a drink of damn near anything that doesn't contain EverClear. Anybody else want a drink?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all on this TGIF 'Black Friday' no matter what your genetic combo might be.

Me, I just finished what Vanessa bills as possibly her weirdest story. Well, if it ain't, it's more than enough for this fraidy cat and his funny bone. Check it out.

Buz, sounds like a great drive. If it gets a tad nippy, try putting the top down, the visors and windows up, then set the heater to max and enjoy. Might wanna bring along leather jackets just in case.

Think I'll crack open a bottle of 'Old Crawdad Swamp Whiskey'. Anybody wanna try some?
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